that was really good! though CS Lewis is probably spinning in his grave at the moment, but who cares?! you stayed fairly well withink canon and your style even sounded a little bit like the original, which was very cool. good job!
i always thought Susan was a stuck-up little bitch, too.
Wow. This is the first NC-17 Narnia fanfiction I've ever read (ok, it's the only Narnia fanfiction I've ever read), but I enjoyed it tremendously. Nice "what-if" scenario, and good job keeping Jadis in character. Will you write others?
Ok, you can never be too old for anything, as long as it's good. And wow, that story was awesome! I don't find many stories that I like(hard critic) but wow... A couple spelling mistakes but still...wow.
o.O Freaking awesome! *tackles* You've got so much talent for writing... you'd better intend to write professionally or the world will be missing out... AUGH! Yay for the White Witch! :P Erm... I'm still reeling from how freaking brilliant your writing is...
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