Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Two of Hearts

By : HalfUnderwater
  • From RogueMudblood on August 21, 2011

    I loved this story, and I hope that you do plan to continue it.

    The first chapter drew me in so thoroughly, the way that you introduced the characters, that you demonstrated Nathaniel's opinions. It was such a powerful introduction, it intrigued me and I was glad that I did stumble upon this after there was another chapter so that I could continue.

    I love the way you describe Hare's reactions to everything in chapter two. The staircase and his opinion of it - how he would continue to fall in a spiral - was especially whimsical. The way that you've captured that particular dynamic in your story is wonderful.

    When Nathaniel told Hare not to bow anymore? Beautifully done. And then in the kitchen when he said he needed a Pet to squash his bugs for him? Priceless! Giving the instructions for Hare's daily duties was also masterfully done. The comedy you've woven into the first two chapters is lovely.

    I noticed, though, that in chapter two you call Nathaniel "Hatter". While I did notice earlier he told Hare to do so if he wished, he had not yet, and wondered if that was intentional?

    I would love to know what argument he did give in class in chapter three in regards to arranged marriages. I'd be delighted to see that scene if you ever felt compelled to write a companion piece.

    You made mention in your AN at the top of chapter four that you will make the story "AFF-worthy" - my dear, it already is. It is more than worthy of its place in the archive. Please do not rush into the sex scenes - such things, in Nathaniel's world, would be broached delicately, as you have been doing. I would not change the pace you've set for anything.

    Overall, I am enamored with this! You've created such a delightfully intriguing story that I am very much interested in seeing more.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Anon on December 07, 2010
    Very nice story and good grammar too.
    It's not often to find a story so very well said.

    Please continue to update.
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!