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Reviews for Punish Me

By : K.Blood
  • From gypsybaby21 on August 24, 2013
    ["Where the hell are you!" she yelled from the landing.] The ‘s’ in ‘she’ I believed should be capitalized. That was the only thing I saw, sorry I couldn’t be more help in spotting grammar/punctuation errors!

    I love that you describe the atmosphere so well that I can feel her fear. You aren’t telling the reader what’s happening, you’re showing, and because of that the images are really solidly set in my mind. I feel like I’m reading a novella that should’ve happened after the first book. I’m wiggling in my seat because I’m excited to continue reading. Some stories though I just have to pace myself or I end up having to answer my door to reassure people that yes I’m not dying, that no that scream wasn’t anything more than excitement. It’s frustrating being interrupted like that. Do you know what I mean? (Break finished) I had to stop when I started pounding on the desk. Julian’s cruelty really shines in this chapter too. The fact that you’ve managed to add depth to the characters while keeping them in character is pretty great too. Great job! Update soon.
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  • From gypsybaby21 on August 24, 2013
    Loved the added details of her bedroom and the instinct eerie feel and the addition of the African masks really added some meat to the scene. When Dee gets up to go to the window and expects something weird but only gets Eucalyptus tree I can feel the smidgen of relief before the realization that something strange is happening sets in. I was so excited to see that the Lurker and the Creeper were mentioned. Honestly, I’d forgotten about them. Haven’t read the books in years! Julian seemed really spot on in his *pauses to wipe some drool* arrogantly sexiness. Dee too, her comment on how she’d like to kick his ass fit right in with her personality. You write really well. I forgot that Julian could be cruel to everyone not Jenny. So that was actually well done too. We saw the side of him that would bend and be slightly playful because he was with Jenny, but making him call Dee pathetic actually seems to make Julian’s characterization slightly darker and deeper. More mature, which you know, works since it’s on ADULTfanfiction.net. Great job!
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