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Reviews for .God dictates in Mysterious Ways

By : keithcompany
  • From Destroyahirismix666 on January 14, 2014
    It's so hard to find anything that pokes fun at the Bible without trying to tear it to shreds.
    This was very enjoyable, I could actually see Moses and Aaron having this conversation with God, and every now and then God face-palms.
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  • From dristi on January 02, 2010
    hi,

    absolutely hilarious! religion, in one word, is a big clusterfuck, if taken too seriously! or...seriously at all!
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 09, 2009
    I love both your biblical stories. (I'm 'religious' only in the sense of having my own made-up sort of 'religion' that's more like a cosmogony; it was spawned by a lifetime of being hassled by people who take the monotheist religions more seriously than I do, which made me want to have something that I could preach BACK at them...among other reasons.)

    This one hits me particularly well being that just yesterday, I'd been thumbing through Exodus and Leviticus while sitting in the can. What I was reading that whole long list of 'unclean' animals...what a coincidence that I'd run into this story today!

    I couldn't help but wonder why the Lord didn't bother giving Moses a rundown on the PLANTS that were bloody poisonous enough to kill a person or cause severe illness, but instead, spent ages being hung up on ruminants and cud-chewing and cloven hooves.

    The whole gist of Leviticus seems to be that Moses was one of the original discoverers of basic hygiene...but he went a bit kooky with it, at times.

    It also became clear to me how people may have come to believe in invisible deities and other such things and class them as being as "real" as anything visible. Episodes of hallucination could easily have struck when crossing a desert and starving, thirsting half to death - and there were certainly psychoactive plants around, too, which would have caused them no matter what if they were eaten. And when you have whole tribes of people who WANT very much to be guided by a Supreme Being, you ratchet up the chances that several amongst them might "see" a pillar of fire, say, at the same time.

    Then the children of that tribe would have had their elders agreeing they see something, and these children, ever mindful that their parents will want them to agree with what they claim, will say they see it, too, even if they don't. Now what if this goes on for a few generations? Pretty soon, everyone's having the same visions and believing in them enough that they cross over into "consensus reality".

    In the end, the best thing for me is to laugh at it all, because I know my own hallucinations have just about as much validity as any of theirs did, only there just isn't any consensus on that. Yet.
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  • From ANON - ChaosProphet on May 12, 2008
    hahahaha, yea verily! i always thought this part of the bible was nit-pick-ish to a level that should qualify as OCD; you did a great job in bringing the humor out. cuz if you cant laugh at religion, you're not really living.
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  • From on April 25, 2007
    Loved it! Any hope of updating?
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  • From pissiMissi on March 16, 2007
    haha. Loved it.
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  • From MrAnon on March 02, 2007
    Awesomeness distilled and mixed with ink to be written upon parchment by your hand.
    That's what I would imagine is your secret ingrediant, if it wan't for the fact that you type your stories.
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  • From ANON - Katzztar on September 24, 2006
    LOL This was a funny thing to read ... on Sunday! lol It's a good thing I'm not a religious fanatic...
    Hell, this story wouldn't be in any danger from getting flamed by me if I was a bible-thumper ....I'd kill myself first .... I've broken too many rules by now!!!
    I can't help but wonder about some other scenes like this one ... Is it true that at one point in the bible it tells them to defecate ouside the city walls?
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  • From ANON - Lorenquille on July 17, 2006
    I loved this!
    All overly zealous christians should be forced to read this over and over until they come to their senses.
    Thank you!
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  • From ANON - StoryJunkie on January 15, 2006
    I liked how you portrayed God. Have you perchance met Him? I didn't realize that he was such a serious guy.
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  • From ANON - Apollo on January 14, 2006
    Oh my dear...I'm laughing hysterically right now. SOmeone mentioned in the forum that you did Bible Fan Fiction and had to check it out!!

    That is just too much!

    What an interesting take on how the Lord may have dictated things..
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  • From AnihyrMoonstar on January 14, 2006
    xD I laughed so much with this one...it's hilarious, I swear. And yet...kinda true...I mean...I can almost imagine it all...it's really just funny. My favorite part...was with the five-hundred commandments...xD Generalizing...*grin* Quite lovely for a good laugh. You've brightened my day. xoP ^_^

    -Moonstar
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  • From nixwilliams on January 13, 2006
    *cackles like a senile parrot* oh, fantastic! hilarious. thankyou! and the kids at hebrew school...! heheh!!!
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  • From altariel42 on January 10, 2006
    'I thought about those poor boys in Hebrew school trying to memorise 500 commandments...' Bwaaaaaa-haa-haaaa!
    Bible fanfiction is one of my greatest weaknesses and it's excellent to find some here - even better to find intelligent Bible fanfic with a great sense of humour. Thank you!
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  • From LadyNightshade on January 07, 2006
    Heh... I was curious about Bible fanfiction, but this is pretty damn funny~
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