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Reviews for If I were your height.....

By : KBowman
  • From Kamui on November 29, 2007
    I gotta say...I Loved This! There's a real shortage of good Discworld fan fiction (Not that I'm helping that cause any) but this one really works. I could actually see this happening due to her rapport with Rob....or maybe Daft Wullie if she was feeling sorry for him...Anyway, great job and I hope to see more of these from you.
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  • From keithcompany on November 28, 2007
    You have a nice grasp of Pratchett's understated style of prose, i think. Loved the 'panic tapped on her shoulder' bit.

    If you have another go at this, I'd suggest working a bit more on what it's like to be six inches tall in a field. She sees a few giant details and then she sees Rob and then they're talking. It may just be my fetish, size themed fiction, but i'd be really interested in seeing what you have Tiffany go through at the moment of dawning comprehension. She's a witch, trained by Granny, after all. While panic may tap on her shoulder, she should have an equally graphic metaphor to put panic in its place, no?

    I notice a bit of repetition, though. Once you've mentioned that she's usually feet taller than Rob, that should be enough, i tend to think. I read a lot of size-change stuff, and too many people put too much measurement into the stuff. You're not as bad as those that have someone announce their height when they're introduced, it's just a little quibble, really. But i'd suggest a rework the second 'feet taller' mention.

    The sex scene isn't bad, but you could break it up into paragraphs like the rest of the story.

    And, I understand that you moved her to 18 to make it a story about grownups, but you leap-frogged over some character development that is important. By the time Tiffany is 18, Rob is married. There should be some sort of mention of that, Rob's too afraid of his wife to hurt her needlessly. I mean, he loves her too much to risk her rage. Well, something like that.

    I like it, overall. I'd be interested in seeing more.
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