Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for While You Were Sleeping

By : cakefaced
  • From RogueMudblood on October 07, 2012

    You've got quite a few typos throughout; a read-through would help you to clean those up.

    Aside from that, I honestly don't know the feasibility of putting a male in a bed - even platonically - with a female he likes and him sleeping soundly through the ordeal. Given that this is a werewolf, and would have a better than average sense of smell, I don't see how Bella would have been able to hide her activities from Jacob. Simply washing the scent of her release from her own fingers would not have been enough as the scent was still present on his fingers from where she used his hand to achieve orgasm.

    The fact that Jacob is erect 'in sleep' indicates that he was actually awake during at least part of the ordeal; a follow-up chapter from his point of view would certainly be an entertaining read!

    Happy writing!
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!