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Reviews for Snow & Cigarettes

By : gypsybaby21
  • From ANON - Anon on December 05, 2012
    Ok so I have some problems with chapter one and I wanna say them first so we can get them out of the way.

    #1 Why’s it snowing? Jenny lives in Southern California. I didn’t know the temperature could get low enough to snow. I don’t really know if it can or not so this really isn’t a major thing.

    #2 The whole wishing on a star is sort a lame. Sorry. -_-; It feels like a copout. Like you didn’t put any real thought into how to bring him back.

    #3 Why can’t he use a sink? You had him say he didn’t pay much attention to how people turned them on, but that comes off as really…stupid. Again, sorry. I’m not trying to be a troll or anything. But why wouldn’t Julian – being as old as he is; and having spent so much time watching humans – not know how to use a sink? And having him standing there banging on it…Why? He’s not a moron. Why can’t he figure out to get the water out you need to turn the knobs?

    Ok. Now that THAT’s out of the way… the writing is good. And besides all the things I said above I liked reading this. The fact that I liked it is what makes my earlier complaints stand out so much. This could have been a really good fic, but then you have these stupid moments here and there that don’t make sense. Sorry, sorry. I’m honestly not trying to hate on your story, like I said I really enjoyed it.

    Chapter two was another ok read through. Only real thing which bugged me was you brought up that stupid wishing on a star thing again – but since this is a sequel to the first chapter I’ll forgive it. I actually don’t have much to say about this chapter. That’s a good thing. Nothing really annoyed me about it. No “why’s Julian being so stupid” moment. So good job. Like I said chap two overall is a solid read. If you were to write another fic I know I’d give it a look.

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