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Reviews for Engraven

By : Skullbearer
  • From ANON - XIX on December 15, 2005
    (sigh) that bit made me very happy. Dalamar has earned some closure. You've got something that makes one a writer and not merely someone who writes; it was very clear, from the bit where Raistlin realizes that Dalamar assumed he was some other mage here to tell him of Raistlin's death. I dont' think there's a word for exactly what I mean--you have the mental acuity and the ability to BE in there, that prevents having to "make up" the story, exactly. You know what they'd be thinking, why they'd react a certain way or say a certain thing, because you're being there and not trying to invent being there.

    Tiny pet peeve: it's disoriented, not disorientated. EVERYONE does that, so it's no doubt imprinted on you incorrectly. I saw you do it once before with the Belzor/pyre bit and I didn't want to say anything, but I'm picky as Hell about what I write and I'd want my little oddities of spelling pointed out to me.

    http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=disorientated ("Desmond Tutu?" wtf?)

    My only other complaint (not specific to this one) has been the use of "Tanis POV" etc.....you're good enough not to need that. And in every case I saw you use it it was immediately clear from the first line of the section whose headspace we were in to begin with. It breaks the flow of the story. I don't remember that from Crepuscule so maybe you'd gotten out of it by then, but I'm occasionally drunk and always sleep deprived, so maybe I didn't notice. The tiny exception would be the lovely first-person Dalamar bit, but you can get around that by a tiny bit of, eh "Dalamar rolled himself tighter in his bedroll, his thoughts too tangled for sleep," and then I suppose one would use italics, though nobody ever seems to use them here so I assume it's not possible. You don't want to remind the reader they're reading--you want them to be as there as you were when you spent all night in Krynn instead of asleep in your own bedroll.

    I hope you do your own original fic already, or that you come to in time. There's reams of fiction and fantasy out there that you are head and shoulders above, my bitching aside. : )

    XIX
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  • From ANON - Analia on August 20, 2005
    *bows deeply to Skullbearer*

    You are absolutely magnificent. I am in awe of your stories, and I'm slightly envious as well. You captured Raistlin and Dalamar's personalities perfectly with your first story "Enigma", and you continue to do so even now, despite the allowences that must be made due to the subect matter being AU. Al I can say is good job and don't stop writing.

    Your ever-faithful reader
    --Analia
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  • From ANON - G on July 25, 2005
    I really like your pastoral descriptions in the second chapter. It is something found only rarely in most fanfictions, which is a shame. And I have to mention that anyone who quotes Siouxsie has at least one point in their favor.
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