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Reviews for Listen to Me

By : FearTheAngel
  • From RogueMudblood on May 08, 2012

    You state you're not happy with your summary; might I make a suggestion? I would simply take some lines from your story:

    You know the saying, there cannot be good in the world without there being evil? I look like anybody else. I look normal. And I am the embodiment of Dr. Jekyll’s unrestrained emotions.

    The best advice I can give on summaries is this: what would make you read this story? I often find that a writer has already gifted themselves with the perfect summary within their tale. Sometimes, having a beta (or a friend) read through your tale can help you find that elusive string of phrases to enthrall readers.

    A comment on word choice: I don't see Hyde as you've written him here using the colloquial 'ammo'. You've presented him as a darker, educated man. Someone who is familiar with the workings of the world, and while he might not be pretentious, is of a higher caliber than to use such a plebian word. I think you've done an admirable job with his character, and that one word wrenched me completely out of his monologue.

    I say, that was very well done! I was intrigued the whole time by the tale you were weaving. A very different perspective on Hyde's persona. Thank you for sharing that - it was well worth the read! Happy writing to you!
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