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Reviews for Unchanging Silhouette

By : bellaxjasperxplease
  • From carnalangel on June 28, 2010
    good start - wish there was more
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  • From Safir84 on October 17, 2009
    Great story you've here, I like it! The plot's great and so is the character portrayal as well, as the character interaction, the fic is also quite well written apart from a few things which I will point out! First of all; “And that blonde haired god, is Edward Cullen.” Edward's a brunette, not a blond!

    Oh well…, more so, you might want to put in spaces between the dialogs; it's too crowded I think, oh well, just a tip! Also, the “I” should always be spelled with a capital letter (and not just in the beginning of a sentence), you have a few of those typos, and names should be spelled with capital letters, too!

    “I turned around to see a table of “5” of the most gorgeous people on the planet.” Looks better if you use actual letters for the numbers, instead of just writing well; numbers! Another tip! So Bella got scared by Edward and ran into Jasper, yay, hehe! Way to go girl!

    Cannot wait to read more, so please update soon…
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