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Reviews for Agents

By : Notsalony
  • From jujukitty on March 02, 2013
    overall, really cute story and an enjoyable read. it seemed to go from mostly serious to kind of a joke by the end though and it seems like you kind of forgot a plot a couple times along the way (like dean telling draco that sam was being fired and draco bitching out wolfram and heart to fix things, then all of a sudden, they're all finding out from sam that he got fired and they're doing the pr thing). quite a few spelling errors throughout that should be easily fixed if you did a re-read of the chapters (a lot of their/they're/there, your/you're issues). also, kind of confusing with draco's timeline, because you have harry seeing the "future" of draco being turned but it was actually the present, and draco being turned a day or two after he's entered the states, but he already has a house.

    as both a reader and writer, i have to say that you throwing in "retch" (besides being a word used for puking) completely fucks up the reading of your story and draws you completely out of the world you've created. you're a writer, you should be writing in the personality of your characters, and since none of them are from backwoods south, you shouldn't be writing as if they are (and before you get offended by that statement, i'm originally from south georgia and frequently use y'all and ain't and several other words in everyday conversations and writing, but not when i'm trying to convey a story). also, going from describing sex in erotic terms to describing it using as many cheap metaphors as you can (baby batter?! really?!) added to my impression that the story was turning into a joke for you by the middle and draco making diamond dildos of himself at the end just kind of topped off the assumption.

    you have a great story idea, even with the severely overpowered harry and draco, i liked the relationships, what little we see of it, between the boys. i liked the humor that would randomly pop up as well. i think you just kind of lost the plot about halfway through. i'm hoping the sequel you've got planned will be a little better planned out because i would like to see what happens with teh whole war.
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  • From Nucima on August 02, 2012
    Мне очень понравился ваш фанфик. Надеюсь вы скоро выложите продолжение.
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