rate_review Reviews

Any chances of this being updated???

does julien find her. do they get a chance to be together???? its a great story keep up the great working. ove the story, update soon.
~Nightra

As one of the biggest LJ Smith fans I was so excited when I saw this fic. But it didn't take long for the excitement to turn to disappointment. What the hell was I reading? I'm sorry for my cruelty but this fic makes no sense I'm completely lost. There is no plot, no explanations, I agree with the person who said this was like a diary. Usually I don't get thisworked up over poor writing, but you're branching off from some of the best writing in young adult reads. This fic is an insult to LJ Smith's masterpiece series. If you're going to take the place in continuing from her style, then learn the frikken style! In closing I can only agree with you're title, 'It's No Good.'

Em, so ok im a allways blind, dedicated fan of anythink Jenny and Julian, but i have to say your being a bit harsh on our poor Jenny. I like more fluffy romance and less rape and torcher personaly. Not that im not enjoying it. Hope thell be more (espacally of julian). love marylyn

The story has some potential... right now it doesn't flow, the wording is choppy, and it needs a lot of work. More descriptive wording would be nice.

lalala

It's nothing but dialogue and the story is basically in the format of a journal. NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE DATE! You could try being a bit more discriptive than "Oh this is the date and in the second chapter a guy around the age of her father drove up in a blue Saturn!" No one cares about the car or the date unless it holds real signifiance to the story. You could've easily said 'In was a chilly day in fall' and people would be allright with that. Stating that would give a good image of the setting and of also what the characters might be wearing.
Also, on the discription topic, please right more than a bunch of dialogue! This shouldn't even be on Adultfanfiction. The There's nothing adult about it! This was obviously written by someone with the abilties of a 10-year-old! Any child can write a bunch of quotes between two characters.
I'm not flaming you, what I'm doing is trying to improve your abilties. It get a lot more reviews, and good ones at that, if you actually increase said writing talents.

Elexies

I remember this! Heh. It's an OK story. I was dissapointed-I still want new LJS fics even after I've boxed up my books, not that I'm dissapointed in the story.

You sick person...It was pure torture reading it. Are these your plans for the future? if I knew you I'd slap you! just stop writing.