rate_review Reviews

wow I got wanked on phanwank, it excites me in a sexual way, I am getting a surgical urge in my groin while writing this, for anyone that didnt understand...population paste= sperm meat curtains= vagina and by the way i am fingering my meat curtains whilst writing this ooooaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh im cumming im cumming any way sorry about that and for anyone who wants to know i was telling the truth about the size of The phantom of the operas large oversized, elephantine, gargantuan, huge, mammoth, vast, massive, colossal, immense, giant, enormous, wide, spacious, broad, roomy, thick, extensive, ample, plentiful, abundant cock and the same goes for ugly roaul the transvestite drag queens miniature, tiny, microscopic, minute, mini, petite, diminutive, wee, minuscule, infinitesimal, insignificant, unimportant, irrelevant, of no consequence, not worth mentioning cock

love you phanwankers always and forever i am forever your true friend and lover.

RT

you are a sex/writing goddess i want to make love to you under the stars are you by any chance a druid btw i like a dominant woman and you really sound like one your style of writing tells me you are virginal and inexperienced in the love making area am i correct this story gave me multiple orgasms and not all in the same place i will print out your story and burn it on stone henge my love alter with fruit and vegetables and the occasional virgin worm sometime i like to use beetles because when they crawl on my cock it arouses me just like your story the spirit of you is with me now we have a strange connection in my urine when i wank off or as i like to call it play with my instrument i can feel your presence there fingering yourself

i love and you so much it hurts screw me please

pervertedphantom

Wow. Are you on crack or something? No? How about LSD? Acid? Some combination thereof? Please get help, my friend. This fic is psychotic.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/phanwank/165892.html?view=3899652#t3899652

If it was meant to be satirical, it wasn't funny. If it was meant to be arousing, it did not fit the bill. If this is an attempt to mock fans, then at least use less clinical vocabulary. It was like reading a poorly written text book. What confuses me most about this text is how much apparent effort you put into making it long and at least mechanically readable, but still so unreadable content wise. Pardon my harshness, so very little on AFF is worth reading for literary merit, but it just seems that there is some sort of potential wasted here. Perhaps not. Either way, if this is humor, next time try it out on some betas or something first. Hope this isn't seen to much like a flame. Good luck.

That was a completely worthless, ridiculous, unintelligent waste of crap I’ve ever read. It was good for a laugh yet since I’m at school I will have to wait to get outside and begin laughing at your idiocy. You are talent less, brain less, and extremely perverted.

I am appalled, nauseated, nauseous, offended, outraged, and downright revolved. Your story is a horrible! You are Horrible!

.... I agree with many here, especially with WriterChick.
Why, oh WHY did you even bother?
This was BAD, no, the most worse writing ever done.
This fails to be an erotic/sexual story, and this surely fails to be anything about PotO.
Please, stay away from Microsoft Word or whatever it is you use to write fics with.
You put no heart on anything in the thing called writing. The grammary, the descriptional style, the knowing the characters... You really, truly SUCK.
Do the world favor - never post anything here again. o.O

If that were some part of Monty Python it could be ridiculous enough to be hilarious. As it's not, just too obviously, I'm sorry you actually wasted your time on doing it. Dude, you seriously need an occupation to not get tempted to write another story like that!!! ;)

Was this suppost to be funny? I'm sorry. A starbucks in the 1800's? Did they even /have/ sex toys in the 1800's? My guess would be no to both of those. Life in the 1800's was vastly different than 2005, just as an update. Your lack of talent is disturbing. Please, stop writing this complete and utter crap. It's lack of point and purpose is disgusting. Not to mention your choice of words.
By all means, please feel free to stop writing at any time.

This is the worst piece of crap I have ever read in my life! Please don't waste anymore bandwidth with you lack of talent. Adult fan fiction is supposed to be a turn on! You have ruined it for me!