rate_review Reviews

.....this is so crap it can't be helped. u can't have ever had sex, this is just too awkward and uncomfortable to read...............

Wow.. that was..painful.. I want to offer constructive critisism.. but there is just no way to fix this. I'm sorry but your writing skills leave alot to be desired. Obviously you have never experienced any type of sex, and if you have, well, then you just plain suck at verbalizing feelings, and sensations. The descriptions were terrible, and the words used crude and unrefined. In other words it sounds to me like a child trying to imitate adult oriented material without a clear understanding of it.

Hmm...well, it was very descriptive...but I like the Mia and Nicholas relationship better...GOOD JOB!

i realize you were trying to imitate the original style, but i found the switching viewpoints very confusing. maybe if you had told the entire story from michael's point of view and then the whole thing again from mia's, it wouldn't have been so disjointed. also, the scene itself was very abrupt. rather "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" which i really don't think michael and mia would have done their first time. and mia hardly got any attention at all! when is she going to cum?
the premise is good and almost believable i did like the fact that you stayed fairly true to character.

Well ok then... You have no idea how long I have wanted a smutty PD fic! Thank you!!!! Obvously this is not exactly a popular section but if you post more mia/michel fics I will deffantly read them!!!! Keep up the good work!

Eh, it was okay. Could have been smuttier.

ok.

that just totally sucked

die plz

yay!!!

Definitely adult oriented. Keep writing to improve your skills.

That... well... this is fanfiction after all... keep writing if you want