schedule
May 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This was extremely entertaining. I think it would be great if you went back over it when you were awake and emitted and organized it a little better. Like set it up to where there isn't a flashback. It be cool if you could delve into why that jock was all over Artemis, so we can watch Domovoi go kick some teen's ass.
schedule
December 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh, that's so funny! Butler getting jealous...being forced to shoot the kid.LOL. I liked it very much! :)
schedule
September 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
If Artemis spent 90 percent of his time in front of a computer and didn't get exercise wouldn't that make him fat?
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January 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
OCC, but really, not as bad as I've seen. No, not bad at all.
schedule
November 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
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i really shouldn't be liking as many stories as i am lately. it must be the weed..
but .. i liked this anyway.
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i really shouldn't be liking as many stories as i am lately. it must be the weed..
but .. i liked this anyway.
schedule
June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like this story a lot. the only thing bad I have to say to it is that you should have described the lemon. more detail. you just kinda brushed it off. I would have reall yl ike to read that
schedule
June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This story was very funny for something you did while being bored. Though I would shudder to think if Eoin Colfer actually wrote something like that. I really enjoyed it, but I thought it was kinda odd when you wrote 'Butler would bet his entire weapons collection that Artemis wasn't a virgin anymore' when later on you say that Butler and Artemis have already done it before.
schedule
May 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Aside form the interludes where you leave author's notes in the middle of the story, I quite enjoyed it. It was enough in character that I could see it happening, Artemis being a little tease and Butler not knowing how to cope with the skirt or the jock. It was a bit sexy, a bit funny and enjoyable.
I would reccomend removing your mid story notes though. It interrupts the reading, and the time stamping lets us know it's a flashback.
I would reccomend removing your mid story notes though. It interrupts the reading, and the time stamping lets us know it's a flashback.
schedule
May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
why was Butler confused over Artemis's actions over him and why did he get mad over Artemis no longer being a virgin if he had already been sexually involved with his young charge?