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August 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Aww....So Cute! Please update AQAP! (lol, as quickly as possible) ^.^
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August 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is a realy cool story so far. I look forward to reading more.
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August 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
LOVE IT!! UPDATE NOW! NOW!NOW!! lol
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August 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This seems like the beginning of a good fic :)
You have a keen, though not descriptive, writing-style that goes well with these first chapters and the getting-to-know of minor characters. A great compliment to you is that you do not so heavily use the Deus Ex Machina-factor, and that your plot is reasonably believable. On a negative note, it falls a bit out of place when the parents mention the word "teenager". I don't think that term was invented yet, at the time the story occurs. But on the whole: good job, and I'm looking forward to see more :)
-Naja
You have a keen, though not descriptive, writing-style that goes well with these first chapters and the getting-to-know of minor characters. A great compliment to you is that you do not so heavily use the Deus Ex Machina-factor, and that your plot is reasonably believable. On a negative note, it falls a bit out of place when the parents mention the word "teenager". I don't think that term was invented yet, at the time the story occurs. But on the whole: good job, and I'm looking forward to see more :)
-Naja
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August 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh, please do update! (though i look at it and see you've only posted it today!) It's only been two chapters and i do want to know what will happen next!
~Rae-Lynn~
~Rae-Lynn~
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August 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please update soon! I wanna meet the sister...n see sum smuttiness lol :p