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for New Starts

by Kairi16

person Lauren
schedule July 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this so far! PLease update soon! I really, really eanna know what happens next!
person ChaoticAddiction
schedule October 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice. You need to go threw and do some housekeeping like making sure you don't acidently repeat the same word in a sentance, but the story is great. Can't wait to see what you do next.
person Storyseeker
schedule May 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
The premise is pretty cute, but it was incredibly difficult to read due to the excessive grammatical errors. Please, please, please talk a friend into doing some beta work on this. Do keep writing! This shows promise! But please don't sell yourself short by posting what could be a great story while it is still in the first draft phase.
person Fujimiya_Kudou
schedule October 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Ok. I have sat down and tried my best at getting through this fiction. I have no idea where I am. I'm constantly lost. This fiction comes by as something written in 5 minutes. There are a lot of grammatical errors. Have you gotten this actually beta'ed? It needs a to be re-checked. I think once you got the basics under way you would be able to start all over..Maybe...I don't know its up to you.
person sweetangel4066
schedule August 3, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I like the way you're story started. You should definatly write more.
person KittyVamp
schedule July 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Hey that was a great start. I can't wait to see more.
person angell1502
schedule February 20, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Hey, big laurell fan. and I kind of think it is the same type of them. I like it. Put more lemon. please!
person SunshineGirl
schedule December 21, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Sorry for the no Email adress, no attempt to go incognito...simply don't have one, lol.
Since it's only one chapter it's a little hard to know where it's planning to go and all, but it was a cute story, had a few funny one liners...You did a good job making Merry seem, well, LIKE Merry.
I would suggest that you look for a Beta reader though...the spelling and gramatical errors kept catching me up and interupting the flow of the story...
If Merry IS throwing up for the reason I'm assuming she is...Hope ya keep this story going. I'd love to read a Merry as mommy story, lol.
Must confess though, I still can't decide if I like Doyle or Frost better...be still my longing heart, how ever could one choose between two such delectable characters!!!
Anyhows...was fun to read.
person shadowlia-chan
schedule September 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
It's an awsoem start to a truly great story....... i wish you the best of luck and don't forget to through some lemon se\cene's in there about chapter 5........lol
person DarkGoddess
schedule July 31, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story so far. I knew there had to be some other fans out there who wanted to see Merry end up with Frost. I can't wait to read the rest of it. Please update soon.

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