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Why Are You In A Skirt?	By : ozumasgirl Category: A through F > Artemis Fowl Views: 8525 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Artemis Fowl book series, nor any of the characters from it. They are the property of Eoin Colfer. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Why Are You In A Skirt?
- 1
Title: Why are you in a skirt?
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summery: Artemis dresses up in a school girl uniform and is shagged by Butler. That's a tactless summery... Sorry ppl, I'm tired. R&R!
Authoress' Note: I ah... hm... well... I am writing this... because I can. I know Artemis would never in a bazillion year's do anything even remotely like this. Although a small part of my yaoi obsessed mind wished he would... ' But I wanted to write this because I'm bored... it's a cloudy boring afternoon and I fancy the image... This is completely pointless... PWP so don't complain that it had no plot... because I haven't given it one. Did I mention I'm bored? Wait there IS a plot... here it is... Artemis dresses up in a school girl uniform and is shagged by Butler. There. It took me a full three seconds to think of that. Well I had been day dreaming about it for a while now. Our dear Artemis will act quite naughty and... horny in this. Only because it's hot.
Now, if you are reading this, or just skimming over the fic JUST to bite my head off about shit like "Artemis would never wear girls clothes!" or "You're a freak Arty isn't gay!" or something just as stupid, think twice and leave this page and go complain to someone who will listen.
Oh and I should point out that Arty and Butler are having a little bedtime fun already, just so it doesn't seem wired if Butler suddenly jumps Artemis or vise versa. AND this is my second lemon... well the other one was a rape... forgive me if this lemon is... horrible.
I am dedicating this to my beta Mike! Because he liked the idea : )
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3:47pm. Butler was sitting in the driver's seat of the family Bentley. Artemis was in the passenger seat, staring out the side window, his skirt pulled up to his thighs. Yes Artemis was in a skirt. Well to be more accurate, he was in a female version of the St Bartleby's uniform. A crisp white shirt, gray pleated skirt, red and white tie, white socks and a pair of black loafer's. He actually looked pretty good considering he was a boy in a girl school uniform. Artemis had a very slender frame. He spent 90 percent of his time in front of the computer and in doing so never got much exercise, so his frame was lean and rather girlish.
The reason the boy was wearing said uniform was still lost on the bodyguard. Although he could guess it had something to do with the teenager's class mates. At sixteen Artemis had grown into a very pretty and flirtatious boy. Who used his looks as well as his ability to out-smart, bribe, threaten and frighten people to get what he wanted. Butler would bet his entire weapons collection that Artemis wasn't a virgin anymore and this thought caused the bodyguard to tighten his grip on the steering wheel. Almost snapping the circle of leather covered steel in half. (AN: I have no idea what a steering wheel is made of...)
But back to the fact that our beloved genius was in a skirt.
Domovoi had been sitting in the round about, out side of St Bartleby's front entrance. Waiting for Artemis to come out with his bags for the summer holidays. When the genius had strolled out in a skirt.
FLASHBACK! (It's quite long... I got carried away... heh heh heh)
Butler glanced at his watch. 3:10 pm. It was 10 minute's after school had ended and the bodyguard was waiting for his young charge to emerge through the front doors of the main entrance of the school. Student's of all ages where scattered all over the grounds. Waiting for parent's or nanny's to pick them up. Or just standing around talking. Some where running around saying good bye's to their friend's or picking up last minute item's before heading home.
The bodyguard hated this time of year. There where people everywhere. Blocking his view of the front entrance and other vital spots. Someone could take Artemis and Butler would be non the wiser.
3:15 pm.
Growling Domovoi opened the car door and got out, standing in front of the bonnet, dark eyes scanning the grounds for some sign of his charge. Because of his hight. (7 foot) Butler easily towered over everyone. Giving him a clear view of the grounds. There was a group of what looked like soccer player's near the front doors. They where talking loudly and laughing on occasion. A mother was fawning over her 16 year old son near the right of the jocks, much to the embarrassment of the boy. Some First Years where huddled over to the left, they where talking quietly and had their heads down. No Artemis though. The genius was no where to be found.
3:21 pm.
Butler was just about to go searching when a small gaggle of Third Year nerds jumped and shuffled off to the side of the door way. Dropping their books and lap top bags on the way.
Butler raised an eyebrow, then the other one, when Artemis Fowl the Second strolled out of the front doors. A large rugby player trotted along behind the genius, his bulky arms full of the boys bags. The thing that made Butler blink and rub his eyes in confusion, was that Artemis was dressed in a girl school uniform. (AN: I'm not describing it again) and no one seemed to care. Well, the student's didn't seem to care, the parent's stared with wide-eyed wonder like the bodyguard.
Artemis spotted Butler and smiled. Turning to the boy who was staring lustfully at the genius. Artemis said something to him and then pointed to Butler. The boy looked at the guard and visibly paled. After a moment of standing there with Artemis glaring at him, the jock gulped and started to wards Butler.
The manservant sneered down at the boy as he stopped a full four feet away from him and dropped the bags. Muttering something the older man didn't catch the boy turned on his heel and ran back to the safety of the genius, who was talking to the group of soccer player's.

One boy imparticular seemed to have the Fowl heir's utmost attention. He was tall, very good looking, blond and well built. He was telling the genius something, Artemis listening intently.
Butler watched with growing rage as the boy lent down and planted his lips onto those of Artemis Fowl the Second. The genius leaned into the kiss, looping his slender arms around the taller boys neck. The boy deepened the kiss and reached around to grab Artemis's behind. Gripping it tightly. Causing the skirt to ride up slightly. Butler reached into his jacket and wrapped his finger's around the but of his Sig Sauer. If that boy didn't remove his hands from his charges rear, he would be forced to shoot him. Artemis seemed to read his bodyguards thought's, because when the boys hands started to slide up his skirt, he pulled away and slapped the boy across his arm, yelling at him to keep his hands to himself.
The jock pouted and said something. Butler didn't know what it was, but it made Artemis 10 times more angry then he had been. The next thing the taller boy knew, Artemis had snatched a slice of cake a fellow student was currently eating (AN: St B's is holding a end of year morning tea thing) and shoved it in the jocks face. The other boys erupted into howls of laughter as the boy blinked and wiped the desert from his feature's.
Butler couldn't hide his smile as Artemis said something else and stormed over to him. Stopping in front of the older man.
"Hello Butler, I apologize if I took to long,". The genius said, all smiles. He seemed to have recovered quite quickly.
Butler kept his eyes fixed on the boys face. That skirt just looked too good on the boy.
"Don't worry about it Artemis," he said, watching as Artemis eyed him for a moment before closing the gap between them and latching onto the guard tightly.
"Good, I don't want you to be angry at me," he muttered into the bodyguard's hard chest.
Butler tried not to blush. He had been hugged by Artemis before. Plenty of times in fact. So why was it that this particular hug caused the man to grow extremely hot. It normally took a whole lot more to get the manservant aroused. Artemis smirked when he felt his guards shuddering breath and pressed himself more firmly against the bulky frame of his oldest friend.

"Did you miss me?" asked the genius, resting his hands on the bodyguards firm behind. Artemis gave it a brief squeeze. "Because I missed you,"
Butler jumped slightly at this and tried not to groan, muttering something under his breath. Artemis pulled away from Butler and walked over to the car, opening the passenger door and sliding inside. The manservant followed three minute's after. Sliding into the driver's side and almost slamming the door after him.
END FLASHBACK! It was pointless and I don't know why it's there, but it is so... deal with it! I'm tired.
Now they where driving down a back road to Fowl Manor. For half an hour Artemis had been saying seductive things and playing with his skirt. Sliding the grey fabric up and down his thighs. Slowly. It looked like the genius was touching himself. It was really starting to get on Butler's nerves. Did Artemis know what it was doing to the guard? Probably. Butler glanced at the boy out of the corner of his eye.
Artemis was staring blankly out the window. One hand was behind his head, the other was sitting limply in his lap. Near his crotch. Butler gritted his teeth. For some odd reason, that skirt really turned him on. Pulling the car onto the side of the road and turning off the engine, the giant Eurasian turned to his charge. Artemis blinked when he realized they weren't moving and looked at Butler, who was watching him with dark, blue eyes.
"Is something wro-?" Artemis was suddenly cut off as Butler grasped his shoulder's and pulled him in for a deep and rather savage kiss.
Artemis was thrilled to so the least. Wrapping his arms around the thick neck of his guard and sighing as Butler claimed his mouth with a rough tongue.
The bodyguard pulled away slightly, reaching down the side of the seat until he found a small plastic lever. Artemis didn't take his eyes off Butler as the older man lowered the back of the chair. Pushing Artemis up the back rest so he was stretched out on the cool black leather. Arms lying above his head, drooping over the head rest. Butler ran his hands up the genius's stomach, slipping under the crisp white shirt to feel the soft warm skin underneath.
Artemis sighed, closing his eyes.
Butler paused for a moment to remove his clothes. Then gripped Artemis's shirt in his mammoth hands and tore the top off the genius's slender body. Artemis opened his eyes and smirked.
"I love it when you do that," he muttered, watching as the manservant tossed the scraps of clothing aside.
Butler said nothing, leaning back down to run his tongue across the ivory column of his charges throat. Artemis moaned, arching slightly. His slender hands reached up and gripped Domovoi's shoulder's tightly. Butler traced his tongue lower, grazing over the slight dip in Artemis's collar bone, down his chest and stomach. Stopping for a moment to dip the tip of his wet muscle inside the boys navel.
Artemis moaned again, releasing the guards shoulder's to grip the head rest above him. Butler growled when his mouth met the rough grey fabric of the skirt.
"This will have to go," he said, his voice deep and full of lust.
Artemis nodded, sitting up to remove the skirt. Butler placed a massive hand on the boys slight chest and pushed him back down gently.
"No, I'll do it,"
Artemis smiled at the roof of the car, raising himself off the seat a bit to let the skirt slide free. Butler pulled the skirt and the boys undergarment's off at once. It had been a good five months since he had last been with Artemis this way and he was desperate to rekindle their relationship.
Butler leaned back to marvel at the beauty of his love. The smooth white skin. The lean, slender curves of his body. The bright blue of his eyes. Butler groaned, running his tongue down the boys torso. Artemis cried out, arching sharply.
"Damn you're beautiful," Domovoi murmured against the genius' hip.
Artemis lifted his head off the seat and smiled at Butler.
"So are you," he said breathlessly as the older man began to kiss his inner thigh.
Butler ran his hands up Artemis's flat stomach, nipping gently at the place where crotch met thigh.
"I want you," he growled.
Artemis didn't answer, he didn't need to. Instead he let Butler prepare him and gripped the guards shoulder's as he entered him slowly.
"Oh Butler,"
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Butler looked at his watch. 5:02 pm. Artemis was stretched out on top of him, slowly running his finger tips over the guards chest. Butler was rubbing the genius's back, staring at the roof of the car. He ran his hands through the boys hair, smiling as Artemis gave a small sigh and snuggled closer.
The skirt was lying on the dash board. Its presence sparking up a question that had been nagging at the back of Butler's mind since he had picked Artemis up from school.
"Artemis, why where you wearing a skirt?" he asked, hoping the genius wouldn't take the question as an insult.
Artemis propped himself up on his forearms and smirked down at the bodyguard.
"It turns you on," he stated simply.
Butler smirked back. Pulling the boy down for another kiss.
"Well in that case, we'll have to keep it," he said, before crushing his lips against Artemis's.
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Done... It's late ok. Two in the morning actually... so don't get mad at me if this is crap. Because I don't like it all that much... I'm sorry. Oh yeah and this hasn't been checked by my beta, so my grammar and spelling will stay as it is until I get the betaed version. Review if you like. ]
kiss kiss
ozumas girl
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Why Are You In A Skirt?