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Wish I Could Love You Out Loud	By : MelissaMaxwell Category: > Robin Hood Views: 2039 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Also: While the two major characters are 16-ish, that was considered an adult by medieval standards.

It started out natural and happened naturally. But as natural as it was, it was seen as no less than the work of the devil and needed to be hidden.

Henry was the eldest son of two shepherds. As such, he was slated to inherit the fields and flocks one day and be a shepherd with at least a half dozen children and a couple of dogs, just like his father before him and his father before him. For now, his life revolved around looking after sheep or his younger siblings and doing whatever chores his parents asked of him.

Being shepherds, the family was best acquainted with a certain family in Nottingham town. The mother was a weaver and the father was a dyer. Both needed wool to ply their trade, so it was only natural that they become well acquainted with the shepherds. The weaver and the dyer didn't need quite so many children to aid them. So they only had three; two boys and a girl. The middle one was a boy named Aubrey. As he was nearest to Henry in age, the boys became friends when they were quite young and continued their friendship into their youth.

The fields and forests about Nottingham provided endless opportunities to play. Trees were there for climbing. The boys fairly stuffed themselves on wild berries when they were in season. There were lakes and ponds to swim in in the summer, fish in in the fall, slide on in the winter and skim stones across in the spring. They once tried building a boat, but that hadn't worked out as well as they hoped. The forest floor held many wonders of odd shaped rocks and squiggling bugs while the sky held drifting clouds that the boys saw many shapes in. Henry had a ball made from a sheep's bladder that the boys would toss and kick around. Three times a week, their fathers would teach them archery. Aubrey never was any good at it. The far off target always seemed so blurry. He was much better at doing close-up work like weaving. Henry taught him to wrestle and use the quarterstaff. In quiet moments, Aubrey would tell his friend fascinating stories.

Every Sunday, all the families of Nottingham would crowd into the church. The smallest children were given to the novices who taught them hymns and prayers and told them Bible stories. Aubrey loved stories and even learned to read a little from one of the nuns. Henry got a rather harsh slap on the knuckles for playing with a leather ball instead of tending to the hymn. Sunday was *not* a day to play, he was reminded. An exception was made when Sister Margaret brought the children a toy Noah's Ark.

At age seven, they were taken under the tutelage of older nuns every Sunday. The nuns explained that they were reaching the age of wisdom, and so, after their Confirmation, they would be expected to join their parents at church services. The nuns explained further that it was a duty and privilege to belong to the Holy Church and submit themselves totally to the will of God. They were told that they were sinners, though they did not understand what sin was. The Reverend Mother told them that there were things God did not want them to do, say or even think. And if they wanted into Heaven, they'd better do as God said. Aubrey caused an uproar when he looked at the list of Commandments in the Bible and asked what "adultery" meant. The Reverend Mother got rather pink in the face and said that it wasn't a sin that a child could commit, so he shouldn't bother too much about it.

Weeks later, both boys were dressed in white robes and kneeling before the Holy Father as they took their first Communion. At first Confession, Henry confessed to adultery, not knowing what it was but feeling like he had to confess something. The Holy Father was just as flustered as the Reverend Mother had been. In the end, Henry confessed to wanting to play ball on Sunday and stealing apples from Farmer William's orchard. Aubrey confessed to resenting his mother for spending more time with his baby sister than him and to helping Henry steal apples. Confession was supposed to be private, but the boys always told each other everything.

Their friendship started to change one day not long after winter melted to spring. The shepherds decided that sixteen was quite old enough for a boy to go into town and run needed errands. Mistress Shepherd had a baby in the last month and three of the ewes were expecting lambs any day, so Master Shepherd handed the large bundle of wool to his eldest son. He was advised to stay on Master Dyer's good side, but not to accept any less than 200 guineas for the wool. Mistress Shepherd reminded her son of a long list of things the family needed. Henry promised he'd get them, hoping he'd remember everything.

Henry toted the wool to the house in Nottingham town where the weaver and the dyer lived with their children. They were so pleased with the quality of the wool that they gave Henry 300 guineas for it. "Aubrey!" called Master Dyer. "Come take this wool inside!" Because the last winter had been so harsh, it had been nearly three months since Henry had seen his friend. He was taller than Henry remembered, and his red hair had grown out to shoulder length. *His eyes are as green as the fields in summer.* Henry thought. *Why have I never noticed that?*

For his part, Aubrey was regarding his childhood friend, whom he hadn't seen in a few months. He felt a momentary sting of envy at the sight of Henry's broad shoulders and well muscled arms. The sting quickly gave way to admiration. Aubrey's breath caught as his friend smiled at him. *His eyes are as blue as cornflowers.* Aubrey thought. *Why have I never noticed that?*

Henry felt a poke in the shoulder. "I said 'Is your mother well?'!" Mistress Weaver spoke a bit loudly. He must not have heard her the first time.

"Oh, she's well, Mistress Weaver." said Henry. "Just had a baby girl named Catherine." Henry didn't quite catch what the good woman said afterwards. He was too focused on Aubrey's hands that were gathering the bundle. Such long, delicate fingers. "Do you need help, Aubrey?"

"Yes, thank you." As he watched him pick up the bundle, Aubrey was shaken by the sudden thought of what it would be like to be gathered up himself in those large, strong arms. For his part, Henry was shaken by the sudden thought of what it would be like to be touched by those delicate hands. "Anna!" Aubrey called. "You have wool to spin!" Aubrey's sister was nine years old, but already quite adept at using the spinning wheel.

"I-I have to buy a few things in town." Henry told his friend. "Would-would you like to come with me?" For some reason, his friend's company never seemed so important.

Aubrey wanted to say "Yes, of course!", but composed himself enough to say "I'll have to ask my parents." Aubrey's parents readily gave their consent. Soon, they were both walking side by side through Nottingham, just glad to be in each other's company.

"So, Aubrey," Henry decided he'd better make conversation. "What's the latest news?"

"Well, Robin Hood's been rumored to have been spotted not long ago." said Aubrey. "They say he stole a roasted joint right out of the Sheriff's own kitchen!"

"Have you ever actually seen Robin Hood?" Henry asked.

"No. I've heard that he's very handsome. At least, that's what the ladies say about him."

"You spend much time with the ladies?" Henry was afraid he wouldn't like the answer.

"Not much. Mostly my sister-in-law's friends and the ladies that Mother gossips with. Ladies- just don't hold much interest for me."

"I much prefer someone I can talk to myself." said Henry. "This winter, I had no one but my parents and my brothers and sisters. I-I missed you very much, Aubrey."

Aubrey smiled modestly as his cheeks colored. "You- didn't find the sheep good company?" he joked.

Henry laughed. "All they did was pile together in a corner and bleat. Father tied a rope from the house to the barn before the blizzard hit so that whichever unfortunate soul had to milk the cow could do it without getting lost. Guess who that unfortunate soul was?"

"You?" Aubrey guessed.

"Bull's eye, Aubrey. Come, Mother wants me to pick up some things from the apothecary’s."

At the apothecary’s, they met Farmer William. "Good morrow, lads." said the farmer. "Stolen any apples today?" Farmer William had forgiven the boys' past transgressions, but not forgotten.

"No, not today, Farmer William." said Henry.

"Aubrey, does your father need any cornflowers to make dye?" the farmer asked.

"He always does, sir." said Aubrey.

"Then come to my fields tomorrow and take all you want. It seems no sooner did the earth thaw out enough for me to do my spring sowing than those pesky weeds just shot out of the ground. And, well, I figure one man's poison may be another man's meat. So, just come and take as many as you want. Take all of them if you like."

"I'll do that sir." said Aubrey. "Morning would probably be best."

"It doesn't get very hot this time of year, but, yes, perhaps morning would be best. Well, I better go. I got some salve for Daisy's hoof. Hate for her to go lame. Good day, lads."

"Harry," said Aubrey, using a childhood nickname. "Would you join me tomorrow? At William's field I mean. T-to-er-pick cornflowers?" Aubrey couldn't believe how nervous he suddenly was. *This is Henry Shepherd!* Aubrey told himself. *Harry! Your best friend since before you could walk! Why are you so nervous?*

"I'd love to, Aubrey." Henry said. "We have so much to catch up on." *His hair is the color of cedars.* Henry thought. *Does it smell like cedars? Is it as soft as it looks? Why am I thinking such things? This is Aubrey Dyer! A man and my best friend. He's kind and loyal and sweet and funny and altogether wonderful, but I can't love him!*

After Henry picked up all the items he needed, he walked Aubrey home. Aubrey's mother gave Henry a mince pie. "Tell your mother congratulations on her new baby." she said. "And tell her I may be a grandmother before the year is out. My Andrew's wife, Phillipa is expecting."

"Thank you, Mistress Weaver." said Henry. "And congratulations." He looked over at Aubrey and smiled. His heart leapt when Aubrey smiled back. Henry was suddenly struck with a memory from last summer. They had stripped down naked to go swimming. Was Aubrey's body still as beautiful as he remembered?

"As much as I'd like you to stay, lad." said Mistress Weaver. "You'd best return home before dark. There's bandits about, you know."

"Take care you don't run afoul of Robin Hood!" joked Aubrey. Henry laughed, and reluctantly left. He didn't meet up with anyone on the path home. He reached his home at about sunset. He had dinner with his family and shared the local news he learned in town.

That night, Henry dreamed about Aubrey. He was lying naked on a bed while Aubrey gently and reverently ran his hands over Henry's body. Those long, slender fingers wrapped around his member and pulled and squeezed. Henry hugged Aubrey close as the hands worked their magic. His own hands stroked the silky red hair. He woke up to find his member in his hand, spattered with his seed. Henry softly recited a Hail Mary and went back to sleep.

Meanwhile, Aubrey was having a dream about Henry. Henry had scooped him up in those large, strong arms and laid him on the bed. They were both naked. Henry had straddled Aubrey's hips and looked down at him with the most loving look on his face as he began to thrust. Aubrey sighed and moaned softly at the pleasure he received and was completely surprised to find the pleasure doubling, then tripling and just getting stronger until it overwhelmed his body. Aubrey woke drenched in sweat and his hands coated in his own seed.
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Both boys went about plucking up the cornflowers from the field, trying to be companionable while not thinking about their disturbing dreams. "I-I really did miss you this winter, Aubrey." said Henry as he uprooted one of the weeds. "My brothers and sisters were driving me mad while we were all cooped up in the house."

"I know what you mean, Harry." said Aubrey as he stacked some of the weeds in a basket. "For the winter, my brother and his wife moved in with us. Not only is my sister-in-law the meanest shrew in all of Christendom, but we think she may be pregnant."

"You think?"

"Well, she's been sick in the mornings like Mother was when she was carrying Anna." *I was right.* Aubrey thought as he regarded the brilliant blue blossoms. *His eyes are blue as cornflowers.* Impulsively, he tucked one behind Henry's ear. "There you go, Harry. It looks pretty you."

Henry laughed and gave back the flower. "We need to pull up the whole plant, Aubrey." he reminded him. "Roots and all."

Aubrey tucked the flower in a buttonhole of his vest. "They say a cornflower is to be worn by a man in love." he said.

"Really? Are you in love, Aubrey?"

Aubrey flushed. "Yes." he confessed. "I believe I am."

"With who?"

"I-I can't say."

"Don't you know the name of your beloved?"

"Yes, but, I haven't told my beloved how I feel."

"Perhaps- perhaps you should. She may love you back."

"I couldn't!" Aubrey flushed, knowing Henry had the wrong pronoun.

"Don't let shyness stop you, Aubrey. No one deserves a chance at happiness more than you." Henry sighed, thinking he just made the biggest sacrifice of his life. "So, tell me what your beloved is like. Anyone I know?"

"Someone you know very well." Aubrey said cautiously. "My beloved is warm, gentle, always made me feel like someone special."

"Is she pretty?"

"My beloved is the most beautiful person in the world! Hair the color of a ripe wheat field. Eyes as blue as cornflowers. And a smile that warms up my heart."

"So, why haven't you presented yourself?"

"Well, for one thing, my parents wouldn't approve."

"Why not? Is she disreputable?"

"Oh, not at all! My beloved is honest and hardworking, from a respectable family that my family has known and worked with quite well."

"Is it Juliana the Seamstress?"

"No. Her eyes are more hazel than blue."

"Aubrey, if your beloved is as you say, I can't see why your parents would disapprove."

"Well, er, for one thing, I'd be unable to have children with my beloved."

"Your parents shouldn't mind so much. Your sister-in-law is expecting and may have more." A thought occurred to Henry. "Aubrey, you're not in love with one of the nuns are you?"

Aubrey had to laugh. "Oh, no, it's not a nun. I am afraid, though, that my beloved would be very offended if I made my feeling known."

"Offended? Aubrey, you- you are a sweet, gentle, loving soul that anyone should be proud to have as a lover." He had his hands on Aubrey's shoulders and looking into grass green eyes that sparked with hope. He was lost then. "I know I would be."

"Ha-Harry?" Aubrey could scarcely believe his ears.

"Aubrey, God forgive me, but I've fallen in love with you."

"Then God forgive us both." Their lips touched as lightly as butterfly wings. Henry pulled Aubrey in closer and tenderly rained kisses on his face while stroking long strands of cedar red hair, finding it just as soft as he knew it would be. He tasted salt and felt dampness, and knew Aubrey was weeping.

"Aubrey...." Henry whispered his name as he stroked his back.

"This-this can't happen, Henry." Aubrey sobbed. "We-we can't! I want to, but it's wrong."

"This is love, Aubrey." Henry said, holding him close as the other man clung to him. "Love is never wrong."

"If anyone were to find out, we'd be hanged for sure."

"Oh, no, hanging is what they do to thieves. They'd burn us alive."

"How can you speak so lightly of such a thing?"

"Because the thought of being burned alive pales next to the thought of burning with the desire I have for you." Henry lightly stroked Aubrey's face as he looked into verdant eyes.

"Y-you-you *desire* me?" Aubrey was fairly trembling in the other man's arms.

"I desire you. And I love you. Aubrey, I want to give you my body and soul. You already have my heart."

Aubrey nestled closer to his love. "I had such a wonderful dream about you last night, Harry. Shall I tell you about it?"

"Tell me. Then I'll tell you about the dream I had about you."

"You carried me off in your arms and laid me down on a bed. I've wondered how it would feel to have those strong arms of yours hold me."

"Like this?" Henry hugged Aubrey tight.

"Ah, yes. And to be carried."

"You don't seem much heavier than the average ram." Aubrey was tall, but slim. "I probably could carry you. So, what do I do after I lay you on the bed?"

Aubrey blushed. "In my dream, you straddled my loins and rubbed against me. We were both naked, so our bodies touched. It felt so good."

"In my dream, your beautiful, clever hands roamed all over my body. And your soft, full lips brushed kisses all over my face, my neck, my shoulders and my chest."

"Did I kiss your belly?"

"I woke up before you could."

Aubrey smiled at his beloved and pulled him close for a kiss on the lips. Tenderness soon gave way to passion. Henry meshed his fingers in Aubrey's hair and pulled him close as he slipped his tongue into the other man's mouth. Aubrey's fingers dug into Henry's arms. After a tense moment, he relaxed and let his own tongue dance with Henry's. They finally pulled apart, gasping for air. "Not here, not now." Henry panted.

"Meet me at the livery stable after eveningsong." said Aubrey. "I must have you tonight."

Henry kissed Aubrey on the forehead. "Tonight, love." he whispered. "Well, we promised Farmer William we'd take out all these cornflowers."

"Yes, perhaps we should get back to work."

"We'll play tonight." Henry promised, making Aubrey flush.

The two got back to work, occasionally slipping loving glances and tender smiles to each other as they pulled up the weeds.

As they worked, they didn't notice Farmer William watching from a hillock, his daughter by his side. "Jane, my girl." he said. "Which of these two lads do you prefer?"

"Whatever do you mean, Father?" asked Jane.

"My dear Jane, you're getting to the age when a young lady should be preparing for marriage. Now, I'm not going to give my darling daughter to just any man who throws enough money my way. I've given it lots of thought. Aubrey the Dyer's Son and Henry Shepherd are both good, healthy, polite, hard-working young men of decent families. They attend mass every Sunday and never drink to excess. Henry may be the stronger, but Aubrey always struck me as a touch more clever. I've heard he even knows how to read a little. Of course, Henry's no fool himself. He's his family's eldest son and will one day own a nice parcel of land. That does mean you'll have to bear him many children to help work that land. You do know what the Good Lord says about children. Happy is he who has a quiver full." Jane smiled weakly. "Now, Jane, I will be generous and let you pick which of these men you will marry."

"I-I like them both the same, Father."

"So do I. But you can only marry one."

"Didn't they used to steal apples from your orchard?"

"Childish pranks that they have long outgrown. Perhaps you need time to think on it."

"Perhaps I do, Father. They are both good men. I'm sure in time I could learn to love either of them. To be honest, I haven't given marriage much thought."

"Well, now's the time to give it thought. But don't be too long about it. Heaven knows when one of those lads might decide to pay court to someone else."

Neither saw Aubrey slip a cornflower blossom into Henry's hand.
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Wish I Could Love You Out Loud