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Black Heart	By : foxyoxy3 Category: Twilight Series > Het F > Bella/Jacob Views: 5834 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Black Heart
- 2-Fangs Are Stuck Inside My Skin
- 1
- 2
A/N: For those of you who don't like Jacob, this isn't the story for you. If you are a fan of both Jacob and Edward, as I am, read on and enjoy. The titles for the story and the chapters were inspired by Calexico's song Black Heart. Dedicated to my other half, Natasha.

The air was tense as I walked back into the house; I could already sense something was up. Charlie’s truck was parked outside but no sounds came from inside the house. This led me to believe he was sitting very still, awaiting my arrival, no doubt to berate me about something. I thought back to the past week. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I was sure of it.

Just as I had predicted, Charlie sat on the couch, clutching a grease-stained letter and gave me a stern look in response to my greeting. I dropped my backpack and readied myself to hear the venial sins I had unknowingly committed.

“Bella, why haven’t you called Jacob? What did I tell you about balancing your romantic life with your other social life…you know, your friends?”

The veins in his neck pulsated fiercely at the mere mention of my ‘romantic life,’ a nice term he coined to avoid using Edward’s name. Actually, he looked quite comical. Sort of like Popeye after opening a fresh can of spinach. I would have laughed too if he hadn’t mentioned Jacob’s name. I felt suddenly very empty, with no intention of eating. I was nauseous and my hands became sweaty…Jacob: My best friend or rather former best friend. I thought back to the last time I had spoken to him. He was in bed, gashes from his toes to his chest. Bloody strips of gauze covered his muscles, marring the usually shirtless Jacob and transforming him into an almost unrecognizable model of papier-mâché. It was in this condition that I told him my final choice was and always would be Edward. Just remembering the experience overwhelmed me with grief but when I was there, at the receiving end of his pitiful gaze, it was magnified tenfold.

“Is it from him?” I asked in a shaky voice, pointing my finger towards the letter.

“Yeah” Charlie got up and handed it to me. I looked up at him, tears already brimming in my eyes and he walked away, with a heavy sigh. Gently, I unfolded the crumpled paper.

Dear Bella,

I respect the decision you’ve made and I hope this letter doesn’t violate any terms. I’m not sure I should even try to stay in contact with you, in the least for my own sanity, but I wanted to let you know that I’m leaving La Push. Don’t worry, this isn’t a ploy to lure you to me (I wish it was that easy). I’ll be home all day tomorrow just in case you want to stop by and see me before I go. For all it’s worth, I tried to protect you as much as I could. I realize now that another man’s righteousness is another man’s long haul, sentence carried out.

Love Always,

Jacob

p.s. Sorry for the grease stains. I was doing some extra work on the Rabbit.

I was lucky the couch was behind me because right after I finished reading Jacob’s letter, I collapsed on it. My heart pounded as I clutched the sheet with the tightest grasp I could manage. He was leaving. He was punishing me for leaving him and now he was going to do the same to me, except his departure was a little more indefinite. At least he knew I’d be with Edward and the Cullens, as safe as someone of my fate could be. He didn’t even specify where he was going or for how long he’d be gone. Maybe If I stopped by tomorrow, I could find out some more details. I knew that I couldn’t live without Edward but I also knew that I couldn’t live without knowing that Jacob was alive… somewhere.

Once my heart beat settled, I got up and walked over to the phone. In the back of my mind, I thought that maybe it was a bad idea. But right now I just needed to feel normal. I was to be turned into a vampire soon and who knew when I’d ever really feel normal again. I picked up the phone and dialed the numbers I knew well enough to recite backwards.

“Hey beautiful,” Edward said in his silky voice.

“Hey,” I said, faltering slightly.

“What’s wrong?” He said instantly, being so privy to every different emotion that I had. Jeez, was I really that transparent?

“N-nothing, everything is fine. I just I wanted to cancel our date for tomorrow. It’s sort of important.”

“Bella…are you going to see that dog?” Edward asked, with an obvious edge to his voice.

“Yes. But it will most likely be the last time. I just need some closure.”

I heard no reply from the other line so I added, “You have nothing to worry about.” It wasn’t a lie but I sensed that Edward needed some reassurance.

“I’ll drive you there.”

“If you want, you can pick me up after I call you.”

“Fine. If I don’t hear from you by 7, I’m going to go looking for you and I won’t be very merciful.”

“Edward, I love you. Please don’t doubt that.”

“I love you too. You have until 7,” he said before hanging up and hearing my protest.

A sentence from Jacob’s letter floated back into my consciousness: another man’s righteousness is another man’s long haul, sentence carried out. Edward was as righteous as a man could be, saintly even; if only he had a soul. So was Jacob paying for being less than perfect? I mean, honestly, how could he compete with someone so self-less? Jacob was riddled with problems, still a boy struggling to be at least half the man his body seemed to suggest.

I shook my head to dispel these thoughts. They were dangerous. The second I started comparing them both, the more I wanted to find a way to keep them both in my life, a possibility I knew could not exist. I couldn’t’ just go up to Jacob, swing my arm around his shoulder and say: “Hey Jake, you wouldn’t mind living in the guest room with me and Edward right? It’ll be great. When he’s out hunting, we can cuddle and watch movies.” The thought itself was preposterous and I felt a little evil just thinking it. I needed to go to sleep. At this point, being plagued with nightmares from my unconscious was decidedly much more appealing than dealing with my real life issues.

I trudged up the stairs, silently cursing my mortality for requiring sleep. Once I changed into a ragged shirt and sweat pants, I climbed under my quilt and looked out my window. The sky was dark and void of stars, except for one. Remembering what Renee had told me when I was a little girl, I stared at the lone star. She said that if I wished upon the first star in the sky, my wish would come true. It was stupid, I know, but I was desperate. And hey, if myths about vampires and werewolves turned out to be real then maybe wishing upon a star would yield some sort of result. Either way, it wouldn’t do any harm just to try. So I looked at that star with such intensity, I thought it would burst with all the mental exertion I was giving off. I prayed/hoped that some deity out there would give me a sign, signifying the best course of action I should take with Jacob. After I exhausted myself into a headache, I closed my eyes and let my stray thoughts have their way with me.

I awoke a few minutes later, only to discover a dog merrily dozing off at the end of my bed. My first thought was: when did Charlie buy a dog? I rubbed my eyes, still very tired but more curious than anything. It was then that I got good look at it. With a shaggy dark mane and a lopsided grin, it reminded me of someone I knew. One of the dog’s eyes opened and winked at me. Could dogs do that? What was this strange mutt, with seemingly human qualities, doing in my bed? Then it dawned on me. It was Jacob. Of course it was Jacob. I wondered how he had morphed into a dog instead of a werewolf, but didn’t think too much of it. Instead, I noticed that it felt right to have him here.

Light from the moon streamed into my room, bouncing off of Jacob’s fur. He looked like a furry angel. I sat up in my bed, fully awake at this point, to question Jacob about this surprising visit.

“Jake,” I said smiling. He opened both eyes this time and nodded, flashing his white teeth.

“What are you doing here?” I laughed out quietly.

In response, he got up, moved closer to my face, and licked me square on the jaw. Although I appreciated his pet-like affections, I quickly conceded that I would get nowhere talking to Jacob while he was a dog.

“Jacob, talk to me. I got your letter and I was going to see you tomorrow to say goodbye,” I said, trying to disguise the disappointment in my voice.

Suddenly, Jacob shook violently, throwing his muzzle back and turning into his human form. I closed my eyes, remembering that he would most likely be naked.

I heard soft laughter and opened them again.

“Don’t worry Bells, I dress quickly. But you don’t have to shield your eyes if you don’t want to. I don’t mind if you look,” he teased.

I threw a small pillow at him but couldn’t help but smile. God, I’d miss this.

He grabbed the pillow instantly, arm outstretched, showing off his animal reflexes along with his defined biceps. I couldn’t help but stare and eventually he noticed. He didn’t laugh or even smile. He just looked at me, with a mixture of pain and yearning. I looked down at my forlorn shirt and immediately felt very inadequate. Here was this tan and gloriously rippled young man, straight out of a fashion magazine-and here I was, in my mother’s old sweats and over-sized t-shirt.

“You’re beautiful,” Jacob said hoarsely.

I stared up at him with a look of unease, unable to fathom how he always managed to read my mind as well as dispel all of my insecurities. He took my hand and squeezed it gently, spreading warmth into my body as if I had just downed a cup of hot chocolate.

“Before I leave, can you do me one favor?” he asked, not looking me in the eyes.

“That depends on the favor,” I said, weary of what he could be thinking at a time like this.

“You do realize that I will most likely never see you again, Bella”

I gulped and let out a barely audible “Yes.”

“Let me have you,” he said matter-of-factly.

“WHAT?”

“Let me have one piece of you to carry on with me. Something the paras- Edward doesn’t have. He has your heart. Let me have your body. Just for tonight.”

“Jacob Black! How dare you ask that of me?” I whispered as loudly as possible, running the words together. I was so incised that I’m sure my eyes would have been as red as a newborn vampire’s, if they had the capability.

Jacob looked back at me, obviously hurt by my quick rejection but also pensive. He had another plan up his sleeve. I just knew it. He looked back at me, his dark eyes burning with a kind of fire that could only have been caused by an unrequited love.

“I knew you’d say that but it isn’t as bad as you think. I wasn’t gunna do half the stuff you were probably thinking.” he said, smirking weakly.

The way he said those words and his sad attempt at a smile broke my heart, momentarily allowing me forget my previous anger. I could at least let him say his peace. I owed him that much.

“So what is it you wanted to do then?” I asked timidly, carefully masking my voice of any irritation I was feeling.

At this, his face lit up and he gave me devious smile, unlike the playful smiles I usually received. Before I even noticed him move, he was inches away from my ear, breathing heavily.

“Why don’t I just show you?” he said huskily.

I was speechless. For one of the few times in mine and Jacob’s relationship, I was utterly and completely speechless. My breath hitched in my throat and my limbs felt paralyzed. I pictured Edward staring through the window, luminous white as the stars, give or take a murderous gleam. But my imagined scenario was quickly shattered by Jacob’s lips across my neck, Edward’s face breaking into millions of tiny and brilliant pieces of glass.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked, barely holding back my tears.

Jacob stopped kissing my neck but stayed where he was. He let out a sigh, sending shivers down my spin.

“Because I will never be able to love anyone else, imprint on anyone else, until the day you physically die. I feel like the moment he turns you into a leech, the ancient spirits will take pity on me and allow me to find love elsewhere.”

My whole body ached. Probably something similar to the pain he was experiencing, only slightly muted. I wanted to cradle Jacob in my arms and tell him that I loved him as well. I wanted to tell him that he’d always hold a place in my heart and that I appreciated his friendship more than he could ever know. I wanted to tell him that had we lived in a normal world, where vampires and werewolves didn’t exist; chances are that we’d be together.

“But you will find someone after me then.” I assured him, not quite so sure myself. “Isn’t that something to look forward to?”

“What if I don’t want to? What then Bella? I want to stay in love with you. You’ve known me as a boy, as a werewolf, and now as a man. No one will ever know me like you do; love me as I was and as I am. No one.”

Once again I couldn’t respond, so I opted for a physical gesture to show Jacob that I sympathized with him. I put my arms around him and he held me with his strong grip, hard abs pressed against me and his fragrant hair tickling my nose. He smelled like the air after a rain fall, crisp and earthy. I breathed him in and let him continue holding me. Once his grip lightened, he faced me and before I could say anything, he kissed me. His lips crashed on mine, soft and wet.

All thoughts ceased.

He pried open my lips with his tongue and gracefully maneuvered his way into my mouth. He tasted like sugar cane. Before I knew what I was doing, I was reciprocating the kiss, mimicking his every move.

Jacob moaned into my mouth and grasped my sides, pulling me as close to him as possible. I was burning up all over but for some reason, I didn’t care in the least. His hot mouth moved to my neck again, leaving a trail of kisses etched with fire. Meanwhile, his hand ventured underneath my shirt, tracing my bare flesh with his fingers before deciding that my shirt was better off than on.

He growled lightly and tried to pull it off. I let him. Jacob pulled back for a moment, gazing at my bare chest, his eyes glistening and his mouth slightly agape. I saw his chest move according to his irregular heart beats. It seemed as though he had arrhythmia, but I supposed that was just what happened when a werewolf became turned on. I smiled, giving him the signal that it was ok to touch. He stretched his arms out slowly and then leaned down so that he was facing my breasts. He licked his lips and put one nipple in his mouth, making my breath stop and eyes bulge slightly. That felt really good.

I laced my fingers through his long hair and caressed his head while he moved on to the other nipple, lavishing my chest with the attention it had long been denied by Edward…Oh God…Edward. I had completely forgotten. Suddenly, I pushed Jacob off, covering my chest and looking very shell-shocked.

He looked confused and tried to hold me again but I stopped him by placing my hand on his chest.

“What is it Bells? You’re killing me here.” He said, worried but also unabashedly aroused.

“I. I can’t do this. I can’t even believe I let you get this far.”

“I wouldn’t say that was very far. Although my erection would say otherwise,” he joked.

“This isn’t funny Jacob.”

“No it’s not,” he said, suddenly very serious “and neither is this.”

His lips crashed against mine one again, even more passionate and aggressive than before. Apparently he was being gentle the first time. This kiss was nothing if not…hungry. I was powerless to stop him, not that I wanted to anymore. I was tired of depriving myself. Jacob wasn’t just my friend and he never would be.

He let go for a moment, never breaking eye contact, to take off his shorts. I caught only a glimpse of his manhood before he pounced on me, leaving me breathless from his adoring lips. He moved from my mouth to my cheek, from my cheek to my neck, my neck to my chest, my chest to my stomach. Although I was moaning after each ministration, nothing could have prepared me for when he stopped at my waist and pulled down my sweat pants in one swift motion. I shuddered as he kissed the inside of my thigh, running his hot tongue just near enough to my entrance that I felt his hot breath on me, mouth salivating like an animal.

I was new to this and couldn’t help but me a little intimidated. I wondered whether I’d look normal down there. Jacob looked up at me as he kissed my center, which was still clothed. I knew that Charlie was asleep but I couldn’t help moaning Jacob’s name, as quietly as possible. Apparently, the moan was quiet but deadly. Jacob took this as a sign to move toward my hip bone, where my bikini string held snug against my body. He ripped it with his teeth. That simple action sent me over the edge where no borders existed. My body flooded with pleasure and I didn’t think it could get any better. Was that even considered foreplay?

My eyes were almost completely closed, as I had already completely given into temptation. Now I was just riding it out. I felt Jacob nearing my opening and spreading it gently with two fingers.

Continued

His brought his tongue in between his fingers and put my nub in his mouth, his full lips shining with my wetness. Jacob moaned as he delved further with his tongue, more than happy just to satisfy me. At this point, I was clutching onto the very pillow I had previously tried to throw at him, hoping that it would keep me from screaming out all the filthy things I wanted to say. Jacob stopped licking me temporarily, only to urge me not to hold back in the sexiest voice I’d ever heard him use. It was as if his was singing an erotic ballad, his words the lyrics and his tongue the instrument. He moved his tongue in slow circles around my clit before sucking on it gently, unleashing melodies out of me that I had never thought possible to create. He licked along my lips, up and down, letting go of them to massage the outside of my thighs. All the pleasure in my body focused to where his mouth was, kissing and licking me. I knew I was nearing orgasm because if this feeling intensified at all, I would surely die of bliss. My hips bucked and he quickened the pace of his tongue, inserting one finger into me to bring me over the edge. His plan succeeded and before I knew it, I was riding his finger mercilessly, eyes rolling to the back of my head, and unintelligibly muttering his name.

Jacob smirked before pulling out his finger and licking it, obviously a little smug from my body’s reaction to him. I took the finger from his mouth put it in mine, earning a low groan from Jacob. I sucked on his finger, going up and down, mimicking what I wanted to do with a different part of him. I pushed him down on the bed, moving down to where his shaft stood, long and hard. I put as much of him into my mouth as possible. I knew that I was an amateur at this but I would just have to use my common sense. Judging by Jacob’s moans though, I didn’t think I was doing anything too badly. I licked around the tip, lightly biting along the edges.

“Bells,” Jacob gasped.

I took him out of my mouth to reply innocently.

“What?”

“You need to stop or I’m going to cum and I want to be inside of you when I do.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

I couldn’t contest because he reached down for my face and pulled me up. I bit teasingly at his ear and he growled once more, moving his cock to my entrance. I didn’t mention protection and neither did he, going against my better judgment. However, I did want to know whether this was his first time.

“Wait, Jacob.”

He stopped and pulled back.

“What is it Bella,” he said, adoringly running a hand along the side of my face.

“Is this…your first time?” I asked a little awkwardly.

“Yes.”

I smiled. For some reason, I was glad we could be each other’s firsts, traversing this unknown land together. New places always felt safer when Jacob was around.

“Tell me if I hurt you.”

I looked at him shyly before nodding my head in response.

Jacob shifted his body on top of mine, resting his arms on the side so as not to crush me. He used one hand to glide his penis along my slit, reminding us both how much we wanted this. He went in excruciatingly slowly, inserting just the tip and a little extra. It hurt a little but the sensation of him inside me overpowered the tiny pain. He went deeper this time, giving me all of his eight inches and making me cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

“You ok?” he mumbled, still pumping slowly into me.

“Go faster.”

He lavished my neck and increased his pace, slowly ridding me of all my pain and replacing it with pure, unadulterated delight. I felt like I was nearing my release and then, out of no where he pulled out and sat up.

“I wanna try something a little different,” he said, pulling me up and turning me around so that my back faced him. He placed himself back inside of me, making me feel whole again.

“Spread your legs a little, hun.”

I obeyed and he reached around to stimulate my clit with pumping into me from behind. Whether he was lying about this being his first time or his inner werewolf had gifted him with the abilities of a closeted sex god, I didn’t know and didn’t care because this felt amazing.

His free hand caressed my breasts, the combination of being pleasured from every angle eventually bringing me to my first blinding, shuddering orgasm. I felt him climax shortly after me, releasing his juices inside of me until he was spent.

It was then I woke up.

I bolted upright. My shirt was drenched with sweat and I was breathing so fast I thought my heart would fly out of my chest. I looked around for signs of Jacob’s presence but found nothing. My bed was clean and smelled of fresh linen, only slightly damp from my sweat. I looked under my blanket, silly enough to believe that Jacob was hiding somewhere underneath. But there was nothing. Nothing. The only peculiar thing was the strange wetness in my panties.

It was just a dream; a vibrant, insanely realistic dream. I lay back on my side, looked at the clock that read 5:15 a.m., and passed out.

That morning I woke up with a massive headache, accompanied by large bags under my eyes. I trudged down the steps and walked into the kitchen, hoping that Charlie had already gone to work. No such luck. Charlie was sitting at the breakfast table, jovially munching on some toast and reading the morning paper.

“Mornin’ Bells”

“Good Morning,” I said in a lackluster voice.

Charlie knew that I wasn’t much of a morning person and had a vague idea that I was prone to nightmares, so he didn’t ask about my tired appearance.

“Want some eggs? I think I might make an omelet.”

“I’m ok. I think I’ll just have some cereal.” I didn’t mention that Charlie’s lack of cooking knowledge could sully even the simplest omelet.

I filled up my bowl with some Lucky Charms and milk, looking very much like the quintessential American teen girl, who just so happened to dream cheat on her vampire boyfriend with her werewolf best friend…very typical.

“I heard you saying Jacob’s name last night in your sleep. Listen, if this is really plaguing your conscience, I really think you should work things out with him. Are you going over to see him today?” Charlie asked, peeking through his newspaper as if afraid to read my expression. Coward.

I nearly choked on a marshmallow. I guess I was the coward. I pretended that the loud crunching of the cereal kept me from hearing his question, holding my finger up to indicate for him to wait and chewing in exaggerated bites. I had to think of what to say. I couldn’t think. All I could do was study the different kinds of marshmallows: a pot of gold, hearts, red balloons, stars, blue moons.

“Are you avoiding the question?”

“No. Sorry, I got distracted. Did you know there were red balloons in here?”

“What?”

“Never mind. Um, yeah I’m going to La Push today.” I still couldn’t say his name

“Great.” And with that, Charlie went back to reading his paper, satisfied with my answer. If only he knew why I got so nervous at the mere mention of his name; maybe then, Charlie wouldn’t be so eager to have me go to him. Charlie probably thought that dream sex was on the same level as regular sex, at least when it came to me.

I emptied my nearly full bowl into the sink and rushed upstairs, giving Charlie a quick peck on the cheek.

After a long, hot shower I felt somewhat ready to face Jacob. I had scraped away last night’s physical remnants. Unfortunately, the mental image just wouldn’t budge no matter how long I held my head under the water.

I brushed my hair out and put on a pair of jeans along with a long-sleeved white shirt. I still looked tired so I put some concealer, which Alice had snuck into my bags, under my eyes. If I had known how to apply make-up, I would’ve done it just to kill time. Seeing as how I didn’t have the first clue how to put on mascara without blinding myself, I decided that I should just go and get it over with.

Running downstairs with more jitteriness than energy, I yelled out a quick bye to Charlie before jumping into my truck. My heart beat sped up in anticipation for what was to come and I sat in the car for a good five minutes before I willed up the courage to start the engine. Driving to La Push was surprisingly easy. Everything was a blur and I was a little surprised that I didn’t hit anybody. I was so dazed, my head reeling with visions of Jacob, matted bed sheets, warm hands, and laughter in the background. Always laughter in the background.
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Black Heart