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In the Bleak Midwinter	By : smcbelle Category: Twilight Series > Het > Jacob/Renesmee Views: 5726 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

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It took me five years to come to grips with the day that Renesmee would reach physical maturity. Of course, she'd reached mental adulthood long before that, but, after all, I was her mother, and I was terrified of her future. For the past several years, I'd been emotionally prepared for today... or so I thought.

She and I could pass for sisters, almost twins. In a way, she looked slightly older than me, like she was nineteen or twenty and I was her ever-so-slightly-younger sister. I nearly laughed at the thought. Renesmee's eyes were a mocha brown, however, and mine were the same amber as the rest of the vampires'. Her heart beat steadily, and mine lay dormant in my silent chest. Renesmee bore signs of her father's beauty, and her hair had remained curly and copper as she'd matured. She was absolutely breathtaking in appearance.

Edward and I had decided to home school her, as a sort of a Cullen family team effort. She had progressed remarkably quickly. I taught her literature, Esme taught her geography and home economics, and Edward taught her languages. Carlisle covered math and science, Jasper took care of history, and Alice... well, Alice mostly just brainwashed her into being a fashionista. Emmett was essentially her physical education teacher, striving to make her the fastest and strongest half-vampire the world had ever known. Rosalie, quite generously, gave Renesmee lessons in music. She was brilliant, and she was an astonishingly fast learner. By the time we'd been teaching her for two years, Renesmee was better educated than most college graduates. In time, when we'd been invisible in Forks for long enough, she could attend high school to experience all the normal, human things Edward had put me through.

For now, she did see as much of the world as possible. Alice frequently went on shopping sprees with Renesmee to Seattle, Olympia, Portland, and even Beverly Hills. Edward, Renesmee, and I often traveled, flying from Sea-Tac airport to various exotic locations. We explored the finest museums of Europe and frequented Isle Esme, and all the while she grew older and larger, and I watched as she and Jacob grew closer. Edward watched, too, with extreme concern at first, but as time wore on, his views softened slightly.

Finally, the day arrived that Carlisle measured Renesmee's body and determined that she hadn't grown at all in over a month.

“She's done, I think,” he told me. “She's been five-three for a month. Her waist, bust, and hips have stayed stagnant, and her hair and nails have stopped growing. I really think she's reached maturity, Bella.” I gasped at his words and felt my eyes well up. I gazed at my daughter in wonder, knowing that she would be forever frozen in her current state.

She truly was beautiful, petite and slim with cascading, shimmering curls. Her skin was vaguely sparkling under the right light, but it was in a mysterious and intriguing way, rather than... well, creepy, like ours. Her eyes were deep pools of chocolate, and she had perfect facial and body proportions. I wondered vainly if my own daughter was more beautiful than me, and I knew that she was.

We all stood, all eight of us, in the living room of the large, white Cullen house, and took turns congratulating Renesmee on her maturity. Suddenly, Edward stared with disbelief at his daughter.

“Ness, that's not how it is.”

She glared back at him. It must be simply miserable to have your father read your mind, I thought. I imagined Charlie seeing how I truly felt about Edward, and I shuddered. I felt pangs in my stomach for my poor daughter, forced to share her innermost thoughts with a prying father.

After a minor stare-down, I heard Edward murmur, “He swore that's not how he would feel about you.” Renesmee shook her head and concentrated. Edward frowned deeply and shook his head.

Renesmee walked deliberately over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. The other vampires in our family stood gaping at us. I saw Renesmee's memories playing out in my mind and knew that she wanted me to see, rather than be told. Even after all these years, Renesmee preferred communicating in non-verbal terms. She had once explained that words could never do real memories justice.

I saw Jacob sitting with Renesmee in a very familiar spot. It was Edward and my meadow, our favorite clearing in the woods. She looked barely younger than she did now, and the air was autumnal, so the memory couldn't be more than two or three months old. Renesmee was absentmindedly plucking grass and chatting with Jacob about a trip they'd planned to go skiing in Utah, and he suddenly leaned over to kiss her. I gasped at the vividness of the image and seared with a mixture of jealousy and rage. The memory continued. She was kissing him back, and then she lay her head in his lap and he stroked her hair. Another memory popped up, this one clearly more recent, possibly only hours or days old. Jacob was murmuring soft words that I couldn't quite make out into Renesmee's ear, and she was curled up with him in an armchair in Billy's house. I noticed with chagrin that Jacob was not wearing a shirt, and that Renesmee was gently stroking his copper skin with her fingertips. I finally understood his words.

“I will never let anything harm you. I love you, Nessie... forever.”

I gasped and pulled away from Renesmee's touch. I couldn't bear to see any more. Renesmee looked at me, pleadingly, and then she finally spoke.

“He never touched me or even spoke that way until I looked at least sixteen,” she insisted. “But, we're in love, Momma.”

My mouth was still wide with horror. A flood of emotions ripped through my mind, conflicting at excruciating. This was my daughter. How dare he touch her? How dare he go back on his word? He was only supposed to be like a big brother to her, like an uncle. Like a second father. And here he was, kissing and groping her?! It was unbearable nonsense. And then, another thought. That was my Jacob, and my own daughter was taking him away from me. It had taken me years to move past any romantic feelings for Jacob, and now she was single-handedly pulling all those pent-up and stifled feelings forward, forcing me between my best friend and my daughter.

“No” I cried finally, and I would have shed tears if I'd had any. I burst from the room, dashing upstairs to Edward's old room in an instant, slamming the door shut behind me. I heard the door frame shudder at my strength, which, fortunately, had faded somewhat from my vampire infancy.

I could hear everyone conversing downstairs. Their voices were low, but my hearing was more than astute enough to make out their words.

“What did you show her?” Alice insisted. I heard Renesmee sigh.

“Jacob and I are in love. When he imprinted on me, I was only a baby, and he was like a brother to me. But now... it's... different. I've changed, and our relationship has changed. Daddy, he loves me so unconditionally, you have no idea...”

“Ness, I know he loves you,” Edward admitted quietly. “But you weren't around when your mother loved him.”

“Momma loves you,” Renesmee insisted childishly.

“Yes,” Edward said, “But she loved him, too. A part of her always will.” I felt a shot of guilt rip through my body, knowing that he could see right through me. “Not in the same way that she loves me,” Edward told his daughter, who was surely pouting. “He's her very best friend, her confidante. You would be hurting her so very greatly by entering into a... a romantic relationship with Jacob.”

“Well, I think it's a little late for that,” Renesmee snapped. “I want to marry him. I promised him I would marry him once I was mature.”

I heard Rosalie chuckle and say, “Nessie, you're not even eight.”

“You know I'm so much older than that, Rose,” Renesmee nearly snarled. “None of you understand. We're bound together by fate. It's more than just love. It's destiny.”

She sounded like a typical, melodramatic teenager, and I abrubtly felt a rush of pain for her, that she should feel such angst. Then I remembered the scene she'd shown me, and I nearly shivered.

“Ness,” Alice interjected, “You'll be this way forever. Jacob doesn't have to age, either. Can't you give it a few years without taking it any further?”

“Well, how far is too far?” Renesmee inquired, her voice rather surly.

Suddenly, Edward growled fiercely. He'd seen her thoughts. He knew what Jacob had done.

“Dad, we used protection!” Renesmee shouted, and I would have fainted in horror if I could have. I felt my head spin. I shot to my feet and was on the balcony in a split second.

“You had sex with him!?” I screamed at her, my voice echoing through the spacious house.

“I'm done growing! I'm an adult!” she cried.

“When? When did this happen?” I was flying down the stairs, and I landed an inch from her face.

“Last. Night.” she spit her words at me and her eyes flashed, then dulled. “I'm sorry,” she said, her voice suddenly quiet and meek. “It was my idea.”

Edward and I glanced at one another. We were thinking the same thing, I was sure of it. Why wasn't it surprising at all that my daughter should inherit the overpowering desire for physical contact from her... lover?

Edward was out the door in a flash, and I knew he was going to find Jacob.

“Renesmee,” I choked, my words breaking in my hurt. “How could you do this to me?”

“Momma,” she whispered, “You fell in love with a vampire when you were human. I fell in love with a boy who was destined to adore me. All my life, during every single heartbeat, Jacob has been there. Guiding me, helping me, teaching me, keeping me company... loving me. Doesn't it make sense that as I approached him in maturity, both physical and mental, that that love might change into something... more? Why can't you try to be happy for me? He loves me more than anyone else in this world ever possibly could, and his love is unconditional and everlasting. Can't you understand that?”

Even as she spoke, I did understand. As devastated as I was to see my daughter and my best friend kiss and share words of love, I did understand.

“You're right,” I admitted after a long time. “It's time to let fate take its course. He was always meant to be your... mate...” I embraced her, and I felt her flinch at my cold touch. “I want you to be happy. You're my daughter, and I love you. You have my blessing.”

And with that, I sauntered very slowly up the stairs, shutting the door to Edward's old room with a gentle creak.
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In the Bleak Midwinter