To Be Needed | By : FlamingoWriting Category: Twilight Series > Slash > Carlisle/Edward Views: 3375 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story. |
TO BE NEEDED
Summary:
CARLISLE/EDWARD SLASH! It’s the summer of 1918 and Edward is a doctor at Chicago Hospital under Dr. Carlisle Cullen. During the Spanish Influenza strike Edward falls victim to the disease. Can Carlisle sit back and watch his love die?
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
EDWARD
A little after midnight, Carlisle was making his final rounds and approached the last bed on his chart. My bed. My eyes were closed and I was still, but I was unable to sleep. Resting, trying to save my strength, even though I knew I was fighting a losing battle.
Pulling a stool up against my thin hospital bed, Carlisle could only sit and watch.
Three weeks. That was all it took to turn a vibrant, healthy, energetic, beautiful, and alive young doctor into a frail, pale, sickly corpse. My case had progressed much faster than most of the cases. Some patients where able to hold on for month before succumbing to the dreaded disease. But I would lose my battle in less than a month. Most of the other doctors and nurses had already given up hope on me. The colleague they used to share their shifts with, walk the halls with, and socialize with. I was already dead to them.
Carlisle placed his cold hand against my flushed check. The warmth of my fever pulled at the cold of Carlisle’s constant body temperature. Groaning, I shifted, coughing breathlessly as I had no more strength to clear my lungs. And in truth, I didn’t have the strength. I knew what was happening to me. My lungs where slowly filling with a thick combination of blood and mucus and without the ability to clear them, I was slowly drowning in my own body.
Opening my eyes halfway I was able to see Carlisle sitting next to me. Despite losing most of my voice, I was still able to manage a weak “Hello” to my dearest friend. “How are you feeling?” Carlisle asked, trying to make conversation but not knowing exactly what to say.
“Let’s go play some baseball. I’d still kick your ass.” I gasped, managing a small smile and soft cough. Carlisle smiled back, but when my chuckle turned into hacking coughs, the casual atmosphere between us left and a stiff and awkward silence settled into place.
“I know I’m dying, Carlisle. I can feel it. A few days, maybe less, it’s my time and I no longer have the energy to fight it off.” Carlisle remained silent. Not sure of what to say to me. This man had become to mean so much more than just a colleague and a friend to me, and sometimes it seemed like he felt the same of me. I had to know.
He was so tuned into his own thoughts, he almost missed my quiet calling of his name.
Immediately kneeling next to my side, Carlisle took one of my hands into this own. “What is it?” “Before I die, please, just answer one question for me. Truthfully and completely. Please promise.”
“I promise, Edward. No matter what, I will give you a honest and complete answer.”
“What are your feelings for me?”
CARLISLE
I was in complete shock. How could I answer such a question? What are my feelings for him? Thank goodness Edward was dying and would only have to know of my sick perversion for a short time. The awful truth of the answer I was about to give him would surely kill him, even if the disease that plagued his body did not. But I did promise an honest and complete answer, and that is what I would give him.
“Edward, you are my most trusted colleague. Even if we have not walked these halls together in nearly a month, our time together at this hospital will be my most cherished. You are my closest and dearest friend. I trust you with my life. You are my truest companion. My existence has been a dark and lonely one until the day you entered this hospital and entered my world. These past few months, since meeting you, have truly been the happiest days of my life. I do not yet know how I will move on after you are gone. I am afraid that the stars will cease to shine, the sun will no longer give warmth, and all the joy that I have felt from being with you will be lost. I love you, Edward, in ways that a man should not love another man, but I cannot help it, I cannot fight it, I do love you.”
I looked down at Edward and saw his eyes closed and his body still.
I truly believed that he was gone from me, and in that moment, I cried.
EDWARD
I laid still, my eyes closed, taking in the beautiful, peaceful sound of Carlisle’s voice. The words he spoke washed over me like a warm summer breeze. He loved me. He LOVED me. HE LOVED ME!!
My tranquility was startled by a new sound. Harsh and broken and violent. His hands, still holding mine, squeezed tightly. Opening my eyes, I saw that his were now closed. His shoulders shook, tears stained his checks, and his breathing was interrupted by silent sobbing. Carlisle was crying. Why was my love crying?
“Carlisle? You’re crying?”
CARLISLE
The sound of my name being spoken brought me back to reality. Looking up, I quickly wiped my tears, looking around for whoever would dare to interrupt this private moment. My gaze returned to my lost Edward to see his eyes were open and staring at me in silent question.
“Why are you crying?” It was Edward. My Edward. Alive. A smile spread across my face.
“I thought you dead. I thought I had told you I loved you, only to have you leave me.”
Edward smirked. “Not yet, I still have a few things to do. But I need you too.” “Anything for you, Edward.”
“Take me out of here. I do not want to die in this dark and cold place. Take me to your home, be with me when I pass. I want to be with you and no one else.”
I went to stand. To collect the items Edward would need for his last few hours, in the warmth and comfort of my bed. I do not sleep but I had bought it on a whim after meeting him. In hopes? In morbid fantasy? Either way, I had always dreamed of sharing it with him, and now I would, for the first and only time.
His hand on mine stopped me. “I’m not done, yet. I do not want to just die in your arms Carlisle. I want to live in them too. I want to love in them. I want to love you in them. I have never known a man, and I want to know you. I want to love you, and be one with you, be whole with you. Please. I know I’m not going to see another night with you, let this one end the way I want it to.”
I could not believe what I was hearing. Edward wanted to be with me. To make love with me, on the night he died. I knew the moment I looked into his deep green eyes that I would never be able to say no to his request.
Forgoing the items I was about to pick up, I returned to Edward’s bed. Despite being a few inches shorter than him I was able to carry him with no effort at all. The onset of the disease had stripped him of all fat and muscles and he was nothing but skin and bones as I picked him up, hospital blankets and all, and carried him out into the cold Chicago night.
It was cold outside. It did not take long for Edward to shiver violently. Looking around to make sure no one was paying attention, I tightened by grip on Edward’s frail body, and then I ran.
EDWARD
I do not remember much of the trip from the hospital to Carlisle’s modest home. I do know that it was a several mile walk and that it normally should have taken a much longer time than it did. I must have drifted off to sleep while he carried me. I dreamt that we were flying.
My Carlisle holding me tightly as the ground disappeared and the wind flew by my face.
Looking around I realized that I was now in the place I desired most, Carlisle’s bedroom, under the blankets of Carlisle’s bed. My head resting upon his pillows and my body nestled between his sheets.
The mattress dipped beside me. Carlisle sat down. He had removed his doctor’s coat and was in a pair of dress slacks and shirt. The cuffs undone, his tie removed, he looked just as handsome as he did at work.
I lifted my hand to run down the side of his face, across his neck, to the collar of his shirt. Wrapping my hand around the stiff collar I tugged, weakly, to bring him closer to me.
CARLISLE
Edward’s warm hand on my neck was a feeling that I never thought I would again experience. This wonderful man, this human wanted to be with me in the most intimate sense of the word. Who was I to deny his dying wish.
Leaning forward I pressed my ice cold lips to his burning hot ones. He moaned against my mouth and I opened mine in response. Our tongues met in a battle for dominance, only ending when Edward could no longer hold his breath.
Supporting myself above his body our eyes met. Emerald green met blazing gold.
“I have always been marveled by your eyes” he told me. “They are a color unlike anything I have ever seen before. They are beautiful.” If I could blush, I knew I would be.
The moment was lost when Edward started to cough again. Pulling him in a sitting position in front of me, I waited, rubbing his back and shoulders until he could breathe again. He looked up at me, smiling, and our eyes met again. His hands, slowly and awkwardly, began to unbutton the rest of my work clothes. Slowly, button by button he exposed more of my pale, colorless flesh. When the last button was open he pushed the garment from my shoulders and leaned into my cold embrace. He felt 1000* next to my frozen body.
“You’re skin is always so cold to the touch. I was always curious about it before. Even on the hottest of summer days, your hands were cold. But now I am grateful as you feel so good next to me.” Pulling back Edward’ gaze traveled to the scar on my neck. The only physical memory I have of when I was human. Even after 200 years, the bite on my neck hadn’t healed. It would never heal. But Edward had seen it before and I knew that it would not bother him now just as it hadn’t disgusted him then.
His fingers traveled over its length, as soft as silk against the rough scar tissue. Up to my ear, around my eye, down my cheek to rest against my lips. “Undress me, Carlisle.” I that moment I knew all my control was lost.
EDWARD
Carlisle’s eyes. I have always been fascinated by them. When he was angry, having just argued with a patient or another doctor about something, they would be a dark and menacing black. But more often they were a brilliant gold, shining, even in our dreary Chicago hospital, they held a light that could be seen by everyone.
When I asked him to undress me they had changed again. Brighter still, and I was sure that I could see fire in them. His eyes danced when he looked at me. He kissed me, gently, lightly, but promising more, and stood from the bed. “I will love, but allow me to start a fire first. It is cold in here.”
I watched as Carlisle expertly started a fire in the fireplace at the end of his room and stocked it to a burning blaze.
Returning to me, he pulled the blankets down, exposing my hospital issued dressing gown. He lifted it over my head, leaving me bare to the cool night but I did not feel cold.
Carlisle returned to the bed, laying next to me. His gaze started at my head, traveling down. But his hand, which he placed on my bare knee, which was all I could focus on, traveled up. Across my knee cap, over the inside of my thigh, taveling around to brush the outside of my hip, above my navel, across my chest until it met his gaze as well, and then slowly, achingly, down until he reached…
I couldn’t help but groan as his hand wrapped around my member. I was aching for him and so hard.
In an instant, Carlisle, naked and wonderful, was beside me. His own maleness was erect and hard and pressing into my thigh. The foreskin was pulled back and the glorious, red and weeping head was exposed to me.
Climbing above me, nestling himself between my thighs, our cocks rubbed against each other. A groan escaped from Carlisle’s lips as he buried his face into the curve of my neck and shoulder. His hips moving ever so much, rubbing us together.
He nipped at the curve of my neck, moving up to kiss the lobe of my ear. “I love you, Edward. I need you.” “Yes” was all I could say in response. Pulling back he looked into my eyes, shining golden orbs, I could see nothing but his love and desire reflecting in them.
“Yes, Carlisle. Yes.”
CARLISLE
Moving my hand down to Edward’s arousal again, I started to pump him. His groans were musical. My cock was leaking and I couldn’t hold back any more. Moving it to his opening, I spread the clear liquid around, lubricating him, before ever so gently sliding in. The pressure around me was exquisite. Tight and hot and it was torture going as slow as I was.
Looking up at Edward, he gave no signs of pain or discomfort. His eyes begging me to continue. After what seemed like forever I was fully sheathed inside of him. It was heaven. Pressing our foreheads together, our eyes locked, and I started to move.
Edward’s hand were all over my body. On my shoulders, arms, back, and gripping my ass, pulling me closer to him, further into him. His eyes staring into mine, his neck arching back, exposing the creamy flesh to me, pulling my head down for a heated and passionate kiss, pouring his entire being, his heart and soul into it, truly not knowing if he would ever again be able to experience what we were sharing.
I again pressed my face into his neck. His pulse point directly beneath my mouth. And that is when I heard it. Harsh and whispered. “I need you.” And that is when I was lost. For 200 years I had honed my control, developed my skills, avoided human blood. And with those three words, everything I had worked so hard to achieve was shattered.
EDWARD
The feelings of pleasure that were burning through my body were indescribable. I couldn’t control it, it was wave after wave of unearthly feelings. This man was my heart, my life, my soul. I needed him. And I told him so.
“I need you.”
Something inside him seemed to snap. His movements became more erotic, more chaotic. His mouth on my neck, he seemed to be… licking me. He came to a pause inside me. Lifting himself off of me, he sought my gaze. And said something that I never thought I would hear.
“I can save you, Edward.”
Save me? What did he mean, save me? No, Carlisle. It’s Spanish Influenza. I know I am going to die. You cannot save me from this. But you have already saved me, too. You have loved me, and when I do die, it will be in the arms of the person I love. You have saved me.
He must have seen my confusion.
“Truly, Edward, I do not lie to you. I can save you, here and now. You will not die from this. You will not die, ever. I can make you like me. We can be together. Forever.
Always. Nothing will can separate us again.”
Together? Forever? Of course I want that!! I nodded to him. “Yes, Carlisle. I want that too. To be with you. Yes.”
His eyes seemed to grow sad with my answer.
“It will hurt. A lot. Like fire rushing through your veins. There is no way to stop it, once started. You will have to ride it out, and be strong. But when you awake, I will be right here beside you. I will never leave you.”
“Please, Carlisle, I love you. I want to stay with you. I need you.”
Moving his head back to my neck he breathed my scent in deep. His thrusting continued then. In and out, slow and steady, pleasure building with each stroke of him inside me.
One hand slid behind my neck, holding me closer to him. The other hand slid down between our bodies to grasp and my aching hardness. I felt that I was made of stone it was so hard. He held me tight in his grasp. Pumping my cock to the rhythm of his body inside mine. I didn’t know what this feeling was that was coming over me. Blackness over took the sides of my vision.
Was this the end? Was I dying? Hurry up, Carlisle, save me. I do not want to die. I don’t want to leave you.
My entire being seemed to be centered in my stomach. The intense feelings, both of love and pain, that were flowing through me. I had been with a woman before but it never felt like this. Was this love? Or was I dying?
My orgasm ripped through me. I screamed as I felt myself go. My vision was completely gone, black out by the force of my eruption. Carlisle came inside me. I could feel the jerking and spasms of his cock as it emptied in my body.
“I love you, too.” He said at last.
And then he bit me and I knew no more.
CARLISLE
For three days I did not leave Edward’s side. This screams and thrashing could not be calmed. But I stayed with him. Holding him. Telling him I loved him and it would get better.
One person from the hospital stopped by. Either to question why I had not arrived for my shift or to inform me of Edward’s disappearance. I would never know which. He took one look at me, at my vibrant blood red eyes, and disheveled appearance, and fled.
No one has come calling since.
It was finally the morning of the fourth day. Edward had stilled a few hour before and I used that time to clean up, shave and dress for him. I was sitting by his side on our bed. During his change I had washed him, washed the remains of our love making from him, and refreshed the bed linens. He would awake clean and dry.
He should wake up soon. I was so anxious to see him again.
A groan caught my attention and I turned to Edward.
His lips were parted, his eyes slowly opening. They were red. I know I should have expected them to be but I was so used to his vibrant emerald eyes, I was shocked to not see them. I would never see them again.
When it was dark out, I would take him hunting for the first time. We would need to travel far, south to the lakes and hills of the middle United States, far from the city and the people.
“Carlisle.”
His voice speaking my name is a sound that I never wish to forget.
“Good morning.”
“You saved me. Just like you promised.”
Edward smiled and I finally knew what it felt to be needed.
Fin
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