Making Do | By : Blahsblah2001 Category: Twilight Series > Het F > Bella/Jacob Views: 9136 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story. |
The bikes were barely inside the garage when we collapsed off them, both exhausted and full of adrenaline.
“I had no idea they were so heavy!” I gasped.
“We'll have to get a better idea of Dad's schedule before we go out next time.”
“You're telling me.”
Billy had returned early, and we'd had to pass the house and push our silent, heavy bikes almost half a mile around the back of the house. Needless to say, we were exhausted. I dragged myself over to the worn couch. It was actually the back seat of a car, but it had padding, and that's all I cared about.
Jacob handed me a soda, and I drank deep, soothing the roughness in my throat.
“I should have pushed yours and come back for you,” Jacob said.
“And left me along in the woods that long? With my luck a band of brownies would have stolen me away.”
“Ah, then I missed an adventure.”
“Ugh. Adventure, nothing. I'm gonna pass out where I sit.”
I leaned against Jacob's massive shoulder, hardly surprised when he shifted his position. I ended up lying across his chest, my head on his opposite shoulder.
“You're a good pillow, Jake.”
“Gee, good to know,” he said, smiling. With his unoccupied hand he brushed my hair back, out of my face. He continued stroking my face, his fingers warm on my skin.
“That feels good,” I said, looking up at him. He was regarding me with a kind of curious determination. And then, before I could ask, his lips were on mine, sweet and soft. His fingers wove through my hair, and I didn't stop to think. I just opened my mouth, moaning lightly at the taste of him on my lips. Our tongues met, twirling around each other, tasting, exploring.
His hand slid out of my hair, down over my shoulder to rest, hesitantly on my breast. I pushed my body against his hand, encouraging him.
“STOP IT.”
His voice was clear as a bell in my head, and I froze. Jacob almost dropped me.
“What, what's wrong? What did I do?”
“I just remembered something. I have to go.”
“Why? Bella...”
But I was already gone.
This was, without a doubt, the worst psychological torture any human had ever been subjected to.
My English teacher was discussing mistaken identities in Shakespeare's work, having just switched from “Romeo and Juliet” to “Much ado about nothing.” Not unpredictably, I was not listening. I had my own mistaken identity crisis to mull over. Not to mention my very own Paris, peeled straight out of Shakespeare's story and pasted into my life, seemingly only to torture me.
It wasn't enough that I had begun to forget him. Now I had to betray him, too.
A tight heat flared up in my stomach, and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold it in. Trying to keep it from spreading. Memories returned unbidden.
Jacob....
Jacob in his makeshift garage, his arms around me. His lips on mine, hot and unexpectedly soft. His deep, woodsy smell mixing with the smells of oil and metal. The feel of my fingers in his short hair, the taste of him in my mouth....
“Something you find interesting, Bella?”
The class was unusually quiet. The teacher was looking at me expectantly, and I realized I was breathing hard, my fingernails digging into my upper arms. My face was bright red, but whether that was in response to the memory or the question, I wasn't sure.
I also wasn't sure how to answer that question.
“I'm fine,” I mumbled, avoiding eye contact and hunching further over my desk.
“Good. For a moment I thought you were having some kind of seizure.”
The class giggled. I picked up my pen and took accurate, detailed notes for the next half an hour. Anything to keep from thinking of what I had done.
In math, I copied down each problem exactly, praying for homework, a nice load that would take the whole weekend to figure out. No such luck. The forecast called for sun in Forks, and the teachers had decided to be kind.
On the drive home, I planned dinner, trying to visualize each step in my head, all the way through the recipe. But I'd done the laundry the day before, the house was clean, and the longest dinner could possibly take to make was an hour.
That left me with an hour and a half of pure downtime.
I was doomed.
For months, the only comfort I'd been able to cling to was the idea of him coming back. Maybe I'd go outside to drive to school and there would be a shiny volvo there in the driveway, like nothing had happened. Or maybe he'd come in through the window I always left open, stepping over the windowsill like he was walking through a door. In my fantasies, back when I'd allowed myself to have fantasies, he'd decided he'd missed me, and I'd tell him how I'd waited for him, never allowing myself to let go. He'd take me back and everything would be wonderful again.
What was I supposed to tell him now? That I'd found someone to replace him? I'd promised him my forever, but I couldn't wait half a year before giving up on him?
Some girlfriend I turned out to be. No wonder he left.
I pulled my knees closer to my chest, pulling my blankets up over my head where the green, sodden light couldn't reach me. Downstairs, I could hear Charlie trying to be quiet. He did that a lot lately. I guess I did, too, burying my sobs in my pillows, just as I was doing now.
The shrill noise of the phone cut through my thoughts, and a wave of freezing horror swept over me. I prayed for an earthquake. A fire. A plane crash. Zombies attacking Seattle, anything but-
“Bella! Jacob's on the phone!”
“I can't talk right now,” I called back, my cracked voice barely above a croak. He must have heard me, because I heard him say something to Jacob, followed by footsteps on the stairs. I sat up in a hurry, leaning back against the wall, pulling a book onto my lap just as the knock came from the hallway.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
Charlie looked tired as he leaned against the doorframe.
“Bella, did something... happen in La Push?” “No, nothing like that, I'm just busy. Homework, you know.”
Charlie sighed.
“Bella, it's Friday afternoon, and you haven't so much spoken to Jacob on two days. I would know, I'm the one who's been screening your calls.”
“I've been tired.”
“Look, I know you guys had some kind of fight over that Sam Uley kid, and I don't pretend to know what was happening there. But I think... I think it would be good for you to try and patch things up with Jacob.”
We looked in opposite directions, each trying to avoid the other's gaze.
“Fine. I'll talk to him next time he calls, okay?”
Charlie nodded, defeated.
“If the past is any indication, you've got about an hour.”
I flinched, the nodded. I couldn't put it off forever.
As it turned out, I could put it off for a lot longer than I thought I could. The call after dinner was the last one of the night. I couldn't focus on reading or homework, so I set about tidying my already spotless room, arranging the books by height, my jeans by shade, my shirts by color. Around ten, Charlie went to bed, and shortly after, I followed.
I was awakened by a faint thump, from inside the room. I froze, afraid to roll over, afraid to see his pale face looking into mine. Afraid it was nothing.
Of course it was nothing. I'd never heard his footfalls make a sound in all the time I'd-
Something touched my shoulder. I was barely able to stop a scream, not that it would have made a difference if I had. No amount of noise could get Charlie into my room at night. Rolling to face the intruder, I was barely able to keep my voice down.
“What are you doing here?” “You haven't answered my calls.” “So, what, you just climb into my bedroom while I'm sleeping?”
Jacob jerked his thumb back toward the open window.
“It was open. I figured you were expecting me.” “I wasn't expecting you, it isn't open for you, it's open in case-” I stopped dead, unable to continue. But I could see that Jacob understood.
“In case he comes back,” he murmured.
“Go away, Jacob,” I moaned, turning to face the wall again.
“Why? What happened? One day you can't stay away from me and the next I can't even talk to you! I thought when we, I mean, I thought you liked-”
“I did,” I interrupted, my voice a monotone.
Silence filled the room while Jacob thought.
“So, let me get this straight. We kissed, and because you liked it, you're going to avoid me forever.” His eyes were boring holes into the back of my head. I wanted so much to turn, but I knew that would only make it worse in the long run.
“Bella... he's not coming back.”
The words sent an icy knife deep into my heart. I whirled to face him, almost as angry with him as I was with myself.
“And what if he does? What am I supposed to tell him now? That I didn't even care about him enough to wait? That I didn't trust him to come back? That I didn't even miss him enough to- to”
My throat was closing up. I couldn't breathe. My breath came in gasps and sobs.
And then I felt his warm arms around me, pulling me onto his lap. He held me tight, one hand stroking my hair as I sobbed, silently hating myself.
“You're wrong,” he said when I had control of myself again. “It isn't your fault.” He sighed.
“Listen, Bella.... when you came down to La Push the first time, you were like a ghost. Charlie was really worried about you. And since then.... you've gotten a little of your life back. I don't know how much of that is me, but now, looking at you....” He lifted my chin, making me look at him as he looked at me. “You're going back to the way you were. And I don't want to see that happen ever again.”
“I know. But it doesn't change anything. I have to be able to believe that he will come back. I have to believe that everything will be okay again. I have to.”
“Bella...” His eyes regarded me with something like sadness. “Everything is okay again. Look around you. Tell me that everything is really so terrible.”
And it was true. Jacob's warm body encircling mine, his strong arms holding me close.... It did seem right. Maybe not the same way as before, but a different kind of right.
“I love you, Bella. I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make sure you never go back to the way you were.”
“Jake...”
“Yeah.”
“Will you sleep with me?”
His eyes got really wide, the muscles of his throat moving like they'd forgotten where they were.
“Sure, I mean, yeah, I'll do that. Like, here? Now?” The pitch of his voice slowly rose as he spoke, and I realized that he had misunderstood.
“No! Not, I mean, not like that. I meant, like, um-”
“Oh, yeah. Um. Sure.”
He looked speculatively up and down my bed.
“One problem, though.”
Jake was too big for his own bed. Mine had been purchased with a twelve year old in mind. Of course that wouldn't work.
“We could put the blankets on the floor?”
Jacob snorted.
“Ha. Bankets.”
“I like blankets.”
“I'll be your blanket,” he said, sliding us both onto the floor. I lay down, pulling a blanket off the bed with one hand. And then I felt his weight on me, hot as he sprawled across my body.
“Jake, get off,” I laughed, trying in vain to push him off. He pretended to snore, and I laughed harder.
“Get off me, you're too big. I'm gonna wake up suffocated to death.” He wriggled a bit, settling in, before resuming his ridiculous snores. “Well, I guess since you're asleep there's no one to stop me from braiding your hair.” It was barely long enough to do anything with, but I tried anyway. “I wonder if your wolf fur will come out braided, too?” I mused out loud.
That did it. Laughing himself, he rolled off me, pulling my blanket over me to replace him. He pulled me to his chest, his hot, bare skin warming my back.
“So were you telling the truth?” He asked.
“About what?”
“When you said, you know, that you liked it.”
I blushed, though he couldn't see.
“Yes.”
“I thought so.”
“Why?”
“Dunno, I thought maybe if you liked it we should try it again.”
“Jacob...”
I felt his warm lips press against my neck, sucking gently, nibbling at my skin. His large hand rested gently on my hip, one finger tracing the skin between my camisole and my pants.
“Mmmm-hm,” I explained, having trouble with words.
“Just relax, Bells,” he whispered, before running his hot tongue up the shell of my ear. It felt almost like a tickle, and I shivered. He bit gently at the lobe before moving back to my neck. He nuzzled against me, his hand moving up my stomach, tracing the base of my ribcage. Reaching my breastbone, his warm fingers slid back down to my navel, circling it once before moving back up to my breastbone, and then, slowly, to my breast. I braced in anticipation, barely feeling him as I waited for the voice I knew was coming. But I heard nothing but Jacob's heavy breathing as he kneaded my breast, fingers pulling gently at a hardening nipple.
“Tell him no, Bella!”
I gasped and Jacob paused a moment, evaluating my reactions before resuming. His hand left my breast to travel lightly down my arm, lifting my hand when he reached it. His hand was huge beside mine. He moved, sitting up, and I realized I had been leaning against him when I fell onto my back. He took my hand in both of his, his fingers tracing mine.
He brought my hand to his mouth, kissing each fingertip before taking one into his mouth. The feeling of his tongue against my skin was irrepressibly erotic, and I moaned. Heat pooled in my belly before flowing to the place between my legs. By the time he reached my third finger I was uncomfortably wet, spreading my thighs to alleviate the feeling. Jacob's eyes flicked away from mine, taking in the motion.
And then his lips were on mine,fierce, hungry. His tongue probed my mouth, and his body, bent over mine, was incredibly hot. I put my hands on his chest, feeling the intense heat pouring off his bare skin. He moaned and I continued, moving my hands up his shoulders, fingers pressing deep into the muscles of his back. He continued moaning, his voice muffled in my mouth. He pushed my camisole up, exposing my breasts, and I broke the kiss to pull it the rest of the way off.
I could hear him in my head, screaming at me to stop. I ignored him. This voice was different, somehow. Like it was coming from farther away. Before I had time to consider it Jacob's mouth was on my body, leaving a trail of heat down to my breasts. His tongue flicked against one hard nipple, and I thrust my hips forward, hardly knowing what I was doing. Jacob moaned again, and then his hand, which had been massaging the breast opposite his mouth, moved down my stomach. It did tickle, and I twitched, the muscles of my abdomen flexing and turning.
His touch ran along the waistband of my pants before sliding beneath the fabric. His fingers ran over my mound and then between my legs, pressing gently against my folds before parting them.
Our moans were almost downed out by the screaming in my head. He had forgone words and was now simply growling, inhuman sounds interspersed with occasional curses.
I could feel Jacob's voice, his throat and mouth vibrating slightly as he moaned. Slowly, I reached my arm out, touching his thigh. He was kneeling on my carpet and by reaching out a little farther I could reach the tie on his pants. Holding my breath slightly, my face turning red, I undid the knot. With his free hand he jerked the sweats down his thighs, exposing his erection.
Jacob's mouth returned to mine, his hand still rubbing into my pussy. Our breathing was hard, coming in gasps around desperate kisses. His hand brushed against something and I gasped, my back arching. He returned to it and I cried out, writhing with pleasure, pressing myself against his fingers.
My hand wrapped around his shaft and he bucked slightly. I stroked up and down, my hand making a ring around him. He cried out each time my fingers ran over the ridge at the base of his head, and I pushed up further, going from tip to base with each stroke.
I could feel something building inside me, starting by my navel and spreading slowly outward. The muscles of my stomach became rock hard and I gasped as my body pushed itself closer to my climax. And then it came, waves of feeling that simultaneously tightened and relaxed every muscle in my body. In my head, he roared with rage, drowning out the cries that must have escaped my lips.
The waves dissipated slowly, and finally all that was left was a little twitch in my thighs each time Jacob stroked me.
The voice was silent, Jacob's heavy breathing had replaced it. I was suddenly struck through with a bolt of terror. I was holding a dick in my hand. It occurred to me that I had absolutely no idea what do do with this foreign object, and no way to ask.
I rolled up onto my knees, facing him, and leaned up to kiss his throat. I gripped a little tighter, went a little faster. The results seemed positive, and I tried to replicate his earlier motions, sucking at the soft skin of his throat. My free hand roamed his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his hot skin. His huge arms wrapped around me, stroking the bare skin of my back. Then, with one hand on the small of my back, he pushed me back onto the floor,following me down. His body settled between my legs, spreading them apart. He made a noise almost like a growl, kissing me hungrily as his hands pulled at my pants, getting them as far as my knees before the elastic would no longer stretch. I let go of him, but any noise of protest was lost in his mouth. His weight shifted, and I suddenly realized that I was the only one still wearing clothes.
I now had a very large, hot, naked werewolf on top of me, and he meant to have his way with me.
As if to emphasize my point, I felt the tip of his dick press against me, rubbing gently against my soaked folds. Someone lit a fire in my stomach.
“Jake, wait...”
He growled a sign of disapproval, but he stopped. I drew my knees together, pushing my pants off me and onto the floor.
“Come here,” I said, holding out my arms. His weight settled on me, and I wrapped my arms around him, my face buried in his shoulder. I felt him press against me, entering me, filling me. I moaned as my body tried to accommodate him. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly hold another inch, he stopped, withdrawing suddenly before filling me again. It was all I could do not to cry out. Charlie knew to ignore my sounds of pain, but this was something different altogether.
His arms tightened around me, lifting my back off the ground, allowing him even deeper into me. I threw my head back, my mouth open in silenced cries of pleasure. His body slid over me as he thrust, setting off ripples of sensation from anywhere he touched. Thighs, stomach, arms, breasts, anywhere his skin so much as brushed sent dizzying sensations to my brain. Between my legs, hot spikes of pleasure were set off each time he thrust back in, stopping only when the skin at the base of his member pressed teasingly against my clit. The tip slid against something inside me, sending dual shrieks of joy up to my brain.
If Edward was saying anything, I wasn't listening. A second orgasm ripped through me, and I pressed my mouth to his, muffling the cries I couldn't keep in. At the sound, he increased his tempo, reaching an incredible speed before stopping, buried deep inside me. For a moment we both just breathed, deep lusty breaths, tinged with the scent of our bodies. I kissed his neck, my lips coming away salty.
And then I fell back, suddenly aware of the fatigue in my abs and thighs. I could only imagine what Jacob must feel like. No wonder guys fall asleep after sex!
I looked up at him smiling. Moonlight slanted across him, throwing sharp reliefs onto his body, making him look beautiful. He was not looking at me. Instead, his eyes were closed tight, His forehead creased. His body shook slightly, and I was suddenly afraid.
“Jacob?”
One eye cracked open.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked.
“For what?”
He paused.
“I, um....”
“What? Took my virginity? I noticed, actually.”
An annoying look of satisfaction crossed his face before he continued on.
“I'm looking for a good word.”
“Just spit out the first one that crosses your mind.”
“Um... nutted.”
I stared at him. He nodded downwards, to where we were still joined together.
“Inside you.”
“So?”
He inhaled, paused, and exhaled again.
“Bella, did anyone ever tell you where babies come from?”
“I'm not retarded, Jake. I know where babies come from.” It was suddenly my turn to be embarrassed. “I'm not gonna get pregnant.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I'm on birth control.”
“You said you were a virgin.”
“The doctor said hormone regulation might make me stop being a zombie, okay? Now shut up.” The words came out in half as many syllables as they were meant to. I bit my lip, and we avoided eye contact for a long moment.
“I didn't really think about it,” he said finally.
“Yeah.”
“I went too fast, didn't I?”
“Kinda, I mean, towards the end there it felt kinda like I might bruise-”
“I meant, like, from talking to kissing to, um, you know.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess there too.”
“Are you mad?”
I considered for a moment.
“No. I don't think so.”
Our eyes finally met and we stared for a moment. Then he grinned.
“Can we do it again, then?”
“No! Go to sleep, Jacob.”
He gingerly extricated his body from mine before pulling me close to him, leaving us in approximately the position we had started from. Sans clothes, of course. Gently, he pulled the blanket over us.
And that's how we slept.
I was thinking of maybe continuing this into a few more chapters, but on the other hand it stands rather well on it's own. Tell me what you think?
(I finally enabled 'review without login,' so it's a lot easier to tell me what you think.
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