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Say It Softly	By : Bluemoney1928 Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 1476 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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The past summer had been great. After our close encounter with the Vulturi it seemed things had quieted down for a while. Edward and I were finally able to settle down and enjoy our time. We spent many days in our small cottage kept away from the world. We went hunting together Edward, Renesmee and I. On days Jacob had Renesmee we just spent time talking, basking in silence and indulging in each other. We also spent a lot of time in the Cullens house and at Charlies. I often wondered how it could have gotten any more perfect for me. I had Edward, Renesmee, my sweet Cullens and my father. Life after my transformation turned out to be more perfect and more surreal than I could have ever asked. I flew through the phase of being a newborn, my eyes already faded into its topaz setting and being around humans was nothing anymore. I was incredibly happy. How long could that perfection last?
One late evening Edward and I went to our clearing. It would always be a precious patch of land to us no matter how much time passed or no matter how many things changed. Jacob had taken Renesmee for the night and after a long day of hunting with the Cullens we decided to get some quiet time. The sun was setting and we sat down watching the jeweled glints of light casted on the ground dance in front of us. Edward seemed deep in thought playing with a few blades of grass. Fidgeting was not something I was accustomed to anymore and certainly wasn’t used to ever seeing Edward do it.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked him looking blatantly at his captured grass. He smiled still looking down and then raised his eyes to meet mine. He was still breathtaking.
“Only that I love you so much.” He smiled. I laughed and shook my head out of firm disbelief. Even after all my time with him through being a human, marriage, having a child and now in my technical newborn life I still couldn’t believe I had captured the heart of Edward Cullen.
“What?” He asked in surprise at my laugh.
“Out of all the girls…am I seriously the only girl you have ever loved?” I trailed off with another soft laugh. If I could have still blushed I would have been already. Knowing I may have only asked that to hear my assumed answer.
He laughed very softly and refocused on the edge of the forest over my shoulder. He looked as if he were trying to find a way to word his next sentence. Suddenly that few seconds felt like minutes. Then he smiled and took my hand.
“You are the first girl I have fallen in love with since my first day in this life.” I smiled and looked deeply into his eyes looking back into mine. He touched my lips softly with his, reminding me of his gentle kisses when I was still human. He leaned back into his sitting position and then my smile suddenly fell.
“What’s wrong?” He asked his smile fading to mirror mine.
“Edward!? Since the first day in this life?” That’s what you said!”
“Yes?” He looked confused. His eyes flickered to the ground and then back up to mine.
“What about before that? What about when you were human?” If Edwards face could have been suddenly void of all color that would have been the time. He looked at me for a minute like he didn’t understand what I was saying.
“Nothing ever gets by you does it?” He asked in disbelief. I didn’t even answer. Suddenly I felt like I was in a nightmare.
Edward has loved another
For a second I wished that he had just lied, or that I had never asked. The term ignorance is bliss ran through my mind and I hated myself for my constant inquiries about everything, all the time.
“Ugh! What are you thinking?” He asked in his usual frustration. He stared at my blank face for a few short seconds and then reached for my hands. I pulled them back quickly knowing he wanted a glimpse into my mind, a new thing he could do since my change.
“Well?” Was all I could choke out. Edwards brows pulled together in either confusion or reluctance. He finally retreated his hands and repositioned, his legs stretched out and leaned back on his palms.
“My mother’s best friend Elizabeth had a girl two months after I was born.” He paused and watched me move a tiny bit closer in interest. I loved Edward and I would love anything he loved. No matter what. He seemed to be at ease. His eyes snuck passed my face and I could tell he was far away now.
“Her name was Clara Taylor and we became friends when we were very small. I had a good friend named Tucker to, but Clara and I, well, we just really kept to ourselves. We spent most of our time as children in my mother’s garden.” He smiled still in his far away world and a soft laugh escaped. I couldn’t help but to smile in response.
“We really liked to be Pirates, we accomplished a lot in that world. But time moves on I guess and she went from being a little girl with scraped up knees and worn down dresses to, well, Clara.” He smiled again and looked over at me. He took a strand of my hair hanging over my shoulder and tugged on it.
“What did she look like?” I asked.
Why do I do these things to myself?
He instantly looked off again into a completely different time and place.
“She looked kind of like a doll. She had this really bright red hair. Always hung past her shoulders. Blue eyes. She was a sight. She, was beautiful. Tucker seemed to think so too.” He smiled and laughed a soft laugh shaking his head.
“She dated him for a very short period of time. I was just too shy to tell her I was insanely jealous.” This hurt really bad to hear. But I was intrigued. Edward when he was human. Playing pirates as a child. Being shy of a girl. I couldn’t help but to be completely absorbed.
“She finally showed up one day. I met her outside on the front porch. She didn’t say anything but I just knew why she was there. So I kissed her. Hoping she wouldn’t beat me up or something. She was my first kiss.”
I hid the cringe. “Did she beat you up?” He laughed.
“No, she smiled. We started dating from there on out. Our mothers were very pleased of course. Then—“ He sighed and became silent. His face lost its light and I could tell we were going to a darker place. Like nature was playing along the sun began to fade right behind the trees and a breeze sent waves across the grass. His face grew so dark I put my hand on his. He seemed not to notice.
“Go on.” I whispered.
“Well, I decided I wanted to marry her. So after a little time I saved up enough money and I went out and bought a ring. One evening I walked with her from her house to mine and instead of going in I walked her into my mother’s garden. She was taking it all in looking around at all the new flowers and talking about the memories of us as children. When she turned around I got down on one knee.”
This story was so wonderful, but it hurt so bad at the same time it seemed to create and entirely new feeling in me. He spoke the words of such a happy event in such a dead voice I was having trouble processing it. He sighed and laid on his back in the grass. I laid down to but on my side so I could see his face. He stared up at the sky that was a deep purple by then.
“She was, so happy. She just jumped on me and hugged me. I put the ring on her and she looks at me and she says “ Say it softly Edward. “
“What did you say? What did she want you to say?”
He turned and looked at me. “I love you, Mrs. Edward Mason.”
I felt like I could have vanished into the earth I was laying on. I knew Edward loved me. But the story was so strong in his mind still and he spoke each word with such passion I felt so insignificant. I felt saddened to by the fact that I had never known Edward Mason. The frail, beautiful human boy that he was.
Suddenly he was silent. The silence was the loudest thing I had ever heard in my life. I waited. More silence. All the sudden he jumped to his feet. In reaction I jumped up to.
“Edward?”
“What” He looked around nervously.
“Well? What happened?” He turned to look at me. He looked absolutely miserable.
“I got sick, Bella….So did she…..Carlisle saved me…and…” He shrugged. Then he ran disappearing in a gust of wind. It only took me a second to catch up with him. Inside the nearly dark woods I called for him. The tragedy of the story suddenly caught me in the throat and I knew if I was capable of tears they would have been there then.
He stopped when I called him a second time. He waited for me to say something.
“I am so sorry, Edward.” He stared at me for several seconds and then jerked me into a hug.
“It’s okay Bella. I love you. I really do. I’m happy now. Ok?”
After that night he never mentioned it again. But I mulled over the story time and time again. It was just so sad. I thought about the time I lost Edward for a while and how I thought about it as pure concentrated torture. I couldn’t help but to think about it from Clara’s perspective. She had the whole world in her hands, and then they were torn apart by a hideous sickness. How unbelievably unfair. Then, Edwards’s belief and obsession of the idea that once you become a vampire you are stripped of your soul became abundantly clear. And it was no wonder she had never surfaced again.
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Say It Softly