In our eyes | By : Innocentsorrow Category: Twilight Series > Slash > Edward/Jacob Views: 2420 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story. |
IN OUR EYES
AN: A little background, Jacob left, briefly, his pack, in order to spend some time with Bella and her daughter. He never imprinted on Renesmee (that still creeps me out +.+)
This is my first Twilight fic, and I'm most worried about getting the essence of the characters right. They're supposed to be a little bit more earth grounded, since (at least Bella and Jacob) are no longer teenagers, despite how they look. I hope I got it right.
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She was nervous.
She was a cold mass of anxiety.
Isabella Cullen ran for the hundredth time, the comb through her hair, knowing already that it looked perfect. She was beautiful.
She wasn't arrogant, not even after all these years and the vampire blood through her veins that enhanced her features, but several people telling you that, could make you believe it.
But no, she was not arrogant nor egocentric.
She had once been, back in her human years.
And yes, she was nervous. She could almost feel her cold still heart beating with such force and intensity that would leave her breathless.
If she still could breath, that is.
She looked at herself in the mirror, her reflection showed nothing more than a nineteen year old girl, brown hair, and pale complexion, a frame for perfect features, innocent, vulnerable… her eyes however, her eyes told stories of love, death and loss, most of which she wanted to forget.
Her eyes told her true age.
Just like his husband’s.
Husband.
Everything had been fine back then, back when he had been in their lives, a part of their family, even when Edward used to pretend not to like him.
It had been, in a word, perfect. The three of them raising Nessie, as he used to call her, protecting her, looking out for her, like he used to do for Bella, back in her human years. After a while, Edward showed acceptance towards him, and Bella was sure, that his husband even enjoyed the company he gave, until she had ended up driving him away.
She sighed unnecessarily.
Bella hadn’t meant to, she had been distressed over her father death, and not being able to assist his funeral, she had been sad and bitter, and took it out on him.
“-She’s not your daughter, she is Edward’s and mine”
Bella had said while taking away the little child from his arms, without not reason at all but the grieve she felt at the moment.
And she had been so wrong.
Renesmee looked up to him, as something more than a friend or an uncle. Her relationship with him ran deeper than the any other she had with Edward’s siblings.
And he had walked, unusually silent, away from their lives.
Edward never said anything to her, never asked any questions, but she could almost swear she saw the reproach in his eyes. Edward‘s feelings towards Jacob had started to grow, more than she had ever expected, more than she had liked, turning into something else…
Yes she had been jelaous, but not from him.
From Edward.
And that’s when their relationship started to fall apart.
Bella sat in the edge of her… their bed. It felt so cold, in the metaphoric sense of the word, it had felt so cold for more than a few years now; with a hand she traced the pattern of the bedspread, drawing, at first, meaningless symbols, and then his name.
Not existent, but still there. That’s how it was for them now.
She could feel it, she didn’t need Alice’s premonition sense, or Jasper’s empathy one. She knew him, like no else did.
And after Renesmee departure to Forks, to spend some time with her “uncle“, the whole situation had been even more uncomfortable. So much for ever afters…
Until three months ago.
When all her nervousness had started.
When he had call them, on behalf of his godson.
Oh, how she had missed that voice without even knowing it.
He had wanted a meeting concerning her daughter. It wasn’t hard to accept his terms of the whole meeting, even when she had known it was about Renesmee love life, and future.
Bella had been disappointed when she and Edward had met only with Sam Uley and his son, and no trace of him.
Sam had said that he was overseas, in a summit with other shape shifter clans.
She had been disappointed.
…She could swear Edward had been too.
So, after being sure her daughter loved that young man, and as the loving parents they were, they had accepted Renesmee engagement with Jonas Uley, son of Sam and Emily Uley.
Godson of Jacob Black.
Her savior, her haven, her best friend… her major loss.
-Mom, are you ok?
Bella turned to look in the brown eyes of her daughter, her only daughter, just to smile at her, really smile, like she didn’t use to do anymore.
-Yes darling I am ok. You look beautiful- She said reaching to move a few lose strands off of Renesmee eyes.
-Young Jonas Uley is really lucky.- Said the velvety voice from the door. Both girls turned to look at the new comer.
-Thank you dad.- Rensemee said, moving to hug his father. Bella watched the scene from her place by the window; catching Edward’s eyes when he looked at her.
It was over, and they both knew it. With Renesmee departure to form a family of her own, their fantasy world was coming to an end.
She had realized they weren’t meant for each other some time ago.
So much for ever afters…
The wedding was beautiful, what Bella had wanted for her baby girl all along. Sam and Emily Uley weren’t that bad as in laws, and she could see that they cared for Renesmee as if she were their own daughter. The whole shape shifter thing, didn’t bother Bella as much as she had thought, probably because she knew what it meant to befriend a shape shifter, and the risks of their explosive temper… and how far they could go to protect you, and how much they could truly love. Love even beyond death.
Imprinting.
Her daughter had been the lucky winner of Jonas Uley imprinting, that’s how she and Edward knew Renesmee was going to be happy.
Maybe if Jacob had imprinted on her… she wondered if things would have been different.
-You’re gloomy, my friend- Bella’s heart skipped an unneeded beat at the sound of that voice, the spicy wooded scent that followed after, confirmed who it was. She turned slowly to look at the unchangeable face of her, once, best friend, to look in the eyes that used to bring peace in her unfortunate times, to look at the smile that used to warm her heart before being frozen forever. To look at the face that had been the origin of so many good memories.
She wasn’t disappointed.
Almost thirty years had passed, and he looked the same, that same warm feeling that once used to swap her, was still there. He hadn’t change, his face retained the same innocence and purity that was so him, his smile still promised openness and good times to come.
His eyes were the only thing that had changed.
They still retained some mischief and youth; but when she looked at them, really looked, she found herself losing in a russet deepness, that had her almost falling from her chair. His eyes were unchanged, and at the same time, they were completely different.
His eyes now were a sea of brown, giving out sadness that crashed into you, with the same intensity of waves hitting a rock, with bravery that roared as the thunder making you tremble, honesty clear and crystal, as the same water it was washed upon, and a wisdom that went deeper that any she had ever met.
She realized then, that her friend was no longer the same person.
-Bella you still can make me nervous- He said, with a tint of joke in his voice- Come on, we haven’t seen in over thirty years and that’s the best you can give me? A stare?
No it wasn’t, now she knew for certain that she wanted to give more, to take more, but she also knew, she would never have it.
She had lost her chance long time ago.
She got up and took him in her arms as best as she could, the sincerity in the embrace wasn’t unnoticed to the shape shifter, whom carefully returned the gesture, softly and with a tenderness Bella knew him capable of. His warm travelled through her like a healing balsam, and suddenly she didn’t feel that lost or sad.
Jacob could do that to you.
-I’m sorry for walking away the way I did- He said, so softly, she was sure no one, but her could listen- I just…
She shook her head, suddenly unable to speak, the relief, happiness and incredible sadness she felt at having him in her arms too overwhelming to let her speak.
-I’m the one who’s sorry- She said at last, after swallowing the lump in her throat.- I shouldn’t have said that.
Softly Jacob pushed her away, enough for them to lock their eyes.
-You were sad, grieving, I understood it then, you needed to vent your anger and sorrow. I was never mad at you.
Bella couldn’t tear her gaze away from him, and all she could see was the sincerity behind those words, and the peace that washed over her at hearing them.
-Then…why?…-She asked, unable to finish her question, Jacob smiled at her, a small sad smile, that for once, didn’t reach his eyes. And she felt the melancholy in there.
-I had to… I couldn’t keep on living with you… I needed to make something for me. Your words made me see that.
She knew he was right, he had left his newly formed pack, in order to spend sometime with her and her daughter. She knew that couldn’t last forever, no matter how much she wanted it.
He pushed her gently so she could sit again.
-You never called- She whispered, now hurting because he had lost all connection with them.
-I couldn’t- He said sitting next to her- If I had done that, I would’ve returned, my determination wasn’t that much back then.
-I missed you.-She said reaching to envelop him in another embrace.
-Me too- He said, next to her ear, so softly, as if the words had never been spoken.
-The mutt is back- Bella felt Jacob smile, more than seeing it, at hearing Edward’s voice.
-I know you missed me, stop pretending- He said, turning to look, at the once, man of her dreams. Edward narrowed his eyes at that, trying hard to hide the smile that showed in them. Jacob had warmed his way across the hearts of the Cullen family, just to be near her, and they had accepted him on her behalf…at first, Bella was sure that just like Jacob made her feel alive, he did it for the others too. Including Edward.
-I noticed your absence, when I perceived your stench had gone.-Edward said, with no heat in his words, in fact they had a certain bit of warm… and even affection.
-Bite me-Said Jacob, standing now, frowning as in thinking.- On second thought… don’t.
This made Edward smiled, and Bella tried to remember the last time she had seen Edward smiled like that… last time, over thirty years ago… figures.
Both males hugged each other. Edward closed his eyes, and she knew he was letting himself being enveloped in the warm tide and unique scent that was Jacob.
Oh yes, she knew her husband more than any other member of their coven.
And the irony behind the whole situation would have made her laugh, if she hadn’t being feeling so sad.
-You look good for a five hundred leech- Jacob said, breaking the embrace, and smirking at Edward.
-Don’t push your luck, puppy.-He said narrowing his eyes, Jacob sweet laughter fill the small space between them, bringing it to life.
-Ah! Jealous of my youth, old man?…
But before Edward could replay, Renesmee came calling for Jacob, for a dance.
And, with an apologetic look, Jacob left with her.
Edward kept his gaze on him until he was on the dance floor, and then taking his seat next to Bella.
-You know I don’t resent you, right?- She said, now looking at her daughter laughing and dancing with her uncle. She said it because she knew Edward, and how he was a creature full of pain, insecurity and guiltiness. She said it because it was something both needed to hear, now that their end was close.-I’m glad you turned me, otherwise I wouldn’t be seeing my daughter getting married.
-Renesmee wouldn’t have existed- He said softly, struggling with words.-You gave me beautiful years, and gave a purpose to my life…
But we are not mates, were the words unspoken.
Bella knew that, and still she didn’t resent him. Everyone had made their choices, and there were few she regretted, and being with Edward will never be one of them.
They loved each other, but not enough, not like it was supposed to.
That hadn’t been for them.
-I love you- She said, after his brief pause, he turned to look at her, his surprised expression, making her smile.-But I don’t love you like I used to. A love meant to be forever shouldn’t wear out.
-I know- Jacob cries for help at being assaulted by his niece reached them, making them turned to look at him now. She found herself contemplating his once friend, without really thinking about it: The way he moved, with the precision and graze of a wolf, proud as the leader he was meant to be, face kind and compassionate, the sweetest heart she had ever met, in life and death….
It wasn’t hard to accept what had happened here, after all.
None of them had control of their hearts.
She smiled again, this time to herself.
Did Jacob ever imagined he will end up in this situation?
-Renesmee says he has become a lone wolf- She said moving Edward’s attention from Jacob to her, now he looked at her questioningly.- He hasn’t imprinted, and he thinks he never will, and after his whole fiasco with me… getting him to love again will be hard.
-Bella, what?-Edward asked, and she knew he would try to denied it, change the topic.
- My opportunity passed and I missed it, Edward. But yours is right here, and if you don’t mind putting up a lot of fight and patience, you might get what once was delivered to me freely. Don’t let it go just because you feel you owe me, I’m happy were I am, and of what I am.
Edward looked, really looked at her, for the first time in over thirty years, not exactly knowing what to say, Bella smiled to herself, feeling like she had accomplished something important. It wasn’t everyday she could leave her ex-husband speechless.
-I won’t…what makes you? Bella..?
Guilt is hard to get ridden of, and after the first time you load yourself with it, it’s hard to ever let go of that burden.
It’s even harder to let yourself be happy.
And sometimes all we need is a little push.
So Bella turned to look at her husband… ex, straight in the eye, taking his hands in hers, preventing him to walk away.
-You know it’s over, that’s what you were about to say. I know it too, I have for some time now. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t know you, that I can’t see right through you. You deserve to be happy, to find your true mate, just like I do. There will always be a history and affection between us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look for something more, someone to really spend eternity with. I have seen the way you look at Jacob, and you have never looked at anyone like that before, I swear I could almost hear your heart starting to beat when you met him again tonight. Tell me I’m wrong Edward, convince me, and if you can, then I’ll go after him myself.
And that did it. Edward growled lowly at her, but it didn’t made her afraid, if anything she felt amused at how possessive Edward seemed to be with her young friend.
Edward realized what he was doing and stopped immediately. Bella could almost see the wheels turning in his head, as he was thinking what she had said.
But she knew she had already won. Edward won’t take lightly her threat to go after Jacob if he tried to denied his feelings for the shape shifter.
After a few moments, and when she saw her friend coming closer to them, Edward took a deep breath, unnecessarily for them, but Bella knew that what Edward was looking was comfort and strength in Jacob’s unique woody scent.
-I don’t know how…-He said at last, Bella smiled at him, and placed a kiss on his cold cheek.
-You’ll know, trust me, and if you ever have a doubt… well look at it as a hunt. After all, Jake won’t be an easy prey, but I’m sure he’ll be worthy
Edward gaped at Bella, who just winked at him. Jacob’s scent once again hit his senses, and the whole idea of hunting this young wolf seemed more and more appealing, and even like the best plan.
Noticing the look his friend and her husband were sharing Jacob couldn’t help but felt something was wrong…
-Whatever it is I don’t wanna know about it- He said, sitting next to them, missing the hungry look in Edward’s eyes, and Bella’s wicked smile.
Tears didn’t threat to fall from her eyes, she felt sad, but also at peace, a burden lifted from her. Stil, she knew better things were to come, and that made her nervous.
But after all, she owed it to Edward… and to Jacob.
Yes Bella was nervous, a cold mass of…
No, in fact, she was enjoying herself. A lot. The whole prospect of Edward chasing Jacob…
Ah, karma…
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AN: I know, I know, what can I say? I'm a Jacob fan n_____n
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