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Shamaness Indeed	By : miladygrimm Category: Anita Blake > FemmeSlash Views: 1777 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Anita Blake, nor any of the characters aside from Taini Shadowhawk. All other characters are property of Laurell K. Hamilton. I do not profit from this fanfic in any way

Chapter List
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Taini Shadowhawk hung up her telephone slowly. She tried to keep her face blank; she tried not to let the fear show in her chocolate colored eyes. But it was futile. The only person in the room with her was her grandmother, and the older woman always could tell. That was the just one of the problems with living in a close community with even closer family relations; keeping your emotions hidden was next to impossible.
Taini was part of the Tohono O’odham tribe, their name meant ‘People of the Desert’, though they were called Native Americans now. Taini didn’t think that the title was completely appropriate. Native, yes. American? Not hardly. She had lived on the reservation for all the twenty-three years of her life. She’d loved this place; she’d loved her people and the community. She had only had the briefest thoughts of leaving, until now, that is. Now…now she was apprehensive that she wouldn’t be able to leave.
“You look worried, child.”
Taini took a relaxing breath. She closed her eyes, drew the breath in through her nose, and held it to the count of three, and blew it slowly out. Feeling a bit more centered she turned, looking into the nearly-black eyes of the elderly woman she lovingly called ‘Grandmother‘. She had been told once that the woman had been quite a beauty in her day; and at nearly a hundred now Taini thought she still looked well.
She could remember looking at old black and white portraits of her grandmother when Taini was younger. She used to daydream about being the black-eyed, raven-haired beauty her grandmother had been. Fantasy fueled, in part, by the many people who said that little Taini resembled her. But if she was turning all the heads her grandmother had been rumored to turn, Taini didn’t see it.
But how good she looked, or how well she eventually aged, was not the current problem. Was she worried? No…worried was not the right way to phrase it. “I am…unsure,” was the careful reply.
“Are you not allowed to enter the land of the Blooddrinkers?”
Taini frowned even more. “I am allowed to enter the leopard’s lands, but I am still uncertain. I have spoken with the Nimir-Raj, and he has said I may come…for an interview.” Her own dark eyes narrowed as she toyed with her long, black, braid.
“I assume this is not customary.”
Taini shook her head in response, her black braid swaying, “No, Grandmother, it isn’t. From what that…” She paused as she fumbled for a word, then continued, “…expert told me, I only need to ask. When a new leopard wishes to enter lands, with the hope of joining with the group that is already there, I have to ask. But this Micah, he said something about complications. Some sort of…organization. It was vague.”
“Will you go?”
Taini shrugged looking down. “I no longer wish to spend my life on the reservation, Grandmother…And I do not feel I am welcome here anymore.”
Grandmother leaned forward and took Taini‘s slender olive skinned hands in her tan weathered ones, holding them gently. “They do not begrudge you, they are only afraid. They were willing to accept your…“ She paused attempting to think of a word. “Your oddity before you became a were-animal.”
Taini nodded. “I did not ask for this and it doesn’t feel right. I am...alone.”
“What do you mean, Child? We are all here.” her grandmother stated running her thumbs over Taini’s hands.
Taini pulled her hands from the aged woman’s feeling frustrated. “I know that and it used to be enough. But ever since that creature attacked me, ever since I became one of the shifters, I have felt deeply lonely. I don’t know how to explain it. At least not well.”
“Many animals seek out family, sometimes for protection, sometimes for comfort. Perhaps that is what you are looking for?”
Taini nodded closing her eyes. “I think so. I hope so. Maybe they can help where Mr. Fortmen could not.”
“He tried, child, he did try.”
“I know he tried and he is a very good therapist for many. But my case was different. He said the lycan that attacked me was…rogue. That in normal circumstances I’d just be entered into the pack near my own lands. But the reservation killed off all the lycans, they killed every were-thing on sight because of the old stories. They have only known fear of the were-kind. Now, I am one of them.”
Taini lapsed into silence, and her grandmother let her. Three months ago Taini had been attacked by a wandering man. She still wasn’t sure who he had been. She had been coming back onto the reservation after classes one night. He came out of nowhere. His face was already bloody and had taken on aspects of a great cat-like animal. She had thought he was some terrible spirit warrior at first. It was just like in the old stories. When a great warrior descended so far into the animal within, that he became caught between human and totem spirit. But these stories were not flattering.
Why had he singled her out? Was it because she was alone? Because she’d been burdened with books? She didn’t know. All she knew was that bloody muzzle descended on her before she could even scream. It had latched onto her throat like she was nothing but prey; her body had convulsed as blood went everywhere. She had been sure she was dead. She had felt part of her leave her body; the spirit, soul, whatever you wished to call it, was floating up and away. The pain seemed to leak away until she felt nothing. Her body was numb with blood loss. Even as his claws descended into her belly, she saw bits of her leaking out to the ground. She knew she could not survive. Distantly she heard shouts, and the blare of weapons. Her people hated shape shifters. Blurry red flashing lights of emergency vehicles cast long shadows on her bloody face. She had known she was dead. The life was fading from her. She could see the darkness of afterlife slipping behind her eyes, curling into her soul like a shadow child seeking her vitae. She was dead. Why had they even bothered?
And then she had woken. Some doctor had given her a second chance. They had praised themselves and their modern chemicals for bringing her back to the world of the living. They put her in a cold steel room.
The moment she had begun breathing she’d begun to heal the damage. She was healing like no human could. They’d tested and confirmed her for lycanthropy of the leopard form. Then they’d thrown her in a window less cell and told her she’d become what had attacked her. They hadn’t called it a curse; they hadn’t told her she was a monster, but their eyes said that was what they thought of her. She could feel them watching her as she went through her first change.
She’d felt the leopardess inside of her stretch to fill her body until she could not hold it anymore. She’d fallen to the ground in convulsions as her body stretched and realigned itself for the first time. She’d felt awkward as the goo covered her. Her joints realigned even as fur exploded across her body; leaving her lying in a pool of clear mess. Muscles grew where there had been none before. Her eyes could see clearly despite the dimness. And the smells! God, everything seemed to come alive with scent. She could smell the others that had been thrown down there; she could smell sweat, blood, and meat. Meat, the word gained a new meaning that night. It was the reason for life. It was everything.
Taini shook her head bringing herself away from that dark memory and back to the present. “Forgive me, Grandmother, I got distracted.”
“You know what our people will do if you stay; it is a miracle they‘ve let you live like this.”
Taini shook her head sadly. “Grandmother…they are not my people anymore.”
~~~
Taini had thought she was nervous the first time she had left the Ak Chin reservation to go to school. She’d been very wrong. That was only a pale reflection of the anxious feeling that took hold of her now. She took a low, deep steadying breath. She was of her father's people! She was Tohono O’odahm, People of the Desert. Her people had fought off the Apache. She came from a long line of brave warriors. Yet, here she was, trying not to sweat over meeting some leopard king.
She sighed and sat back, waiting for the plane to begin it’s descent into the place known as St. Louis. The lady had come over the intercom a moment ago asking them to please make sure their seat backs and tray tables were in their upright and locked positions. Taini was pretty sure hers was. She wondered for a moment how she was to recognize this Micah when she got into the terminal. Terminal. Why did they call something that was supposed to be safe such a dark name? When she had returned his call, and told him she was indeed coming, he said he would meet her there. When she asked how she would know him he had chuckled and responded simply that she would know.
It had seemed very cryptic to her, but who was she to complain? He was apparently the one she had to impress, though she didn’t like that thought much.
Taini had spent a great deal of time trying to better herself for the good of her people. She had gotten the best grades possible, worked hard, and applied for all the scholarships and grants necessary to send herself to school. so She had wanted to make something of herself. She wanted to help her grandmother and her father. Now, due to some accident, she was forced to leave all that she had worked for behind. Sure, she could reapply for school here, but what would it matter? She had no kith and kin to help anymore.
Then again, perhaps it was good she had left. Too many people were on the reservation now. Twenty thousand people at last count, not including all the tourists. They, the tourists, had come to see the tribal basket weaving and the casinos. Her people had reached an economic plateau that could no longer support them all. Perhaps…she cut that thought off. When you started arguing with yourself, you were officially crazy.
Taini stretched her second-hand jean-clad legs and straightened her best shirt. She had tried to look nice, but her dress slacks had been ruined on the night of her attack, so jeans it was. Besides…they were more comfortable. She’d never admit it to her skirt wearing grandmother but she preferred jeans above any other article of clothing. Plus, the purple silk shirt brought out her naturally olive complexion.
She felt the stomach-crawling sensation of the plane spiraling slowly towards the ground, even chanced a peek out of the window, smiling a little as the ground came rushing towards her. She thought for a moment this is what birds must feel like when they plummeted like acrobats.
“Welcome to Lambert -St. Louis International Airport. We have arrived on schedule. The local time is five- forty-seven and the temperature is an even eighty-four degrees. We know that you have a choice when planning your travel arrangements and we’d like to thank you for choosing Delta airlines. Please enjoy your stay in St. Louis, or the city of your final destination. I’ll hand you over to one of our flight attendants who will take you through our disembarking procedures.”
Taini waited patiently with her carry-on in her lap for first class to be let off. When they were done she pushed her way into the line, and slowly disembarked from the plane. She froze when she cleared the long tunnel connecting the plane to the airport; there were so many different kinds of people! All in this one little place! It was a little intimidating. But that was not the only reason she looked about…she could feel something. She had taken time these past few months to understand her beast, the spirit of the animal that resided within her. It reacted to certain situations, at first the scent of blood or meat seemed terribly overwhelming to her. Sometimes the scent of a specific person made the beast stir. But now…now it was different. The feeling wasn’t a predatory one like it had always been. Now it was…excited. Taini lifted her human nose and sniffed. There was…something far more interesting than people here.
Her beast turned her head this way and that, looking…no, searching. She began walking, following an invisible scent she could not define. It was like…home. For some this was baked bread, others this was cigarettes, and still others smelled clean linens. For Taini it was the scent of baked clay and sand. Her eyes scanned over the crowed; her beast pulled her ever closer towards the exit of the place. She seemed unable to control herself, pushing past people in a rude way that was very much unlike her. She knew only that she must find the person…whoever he was. She was certain that it was a he. She didn’t know how, but her beast was certain.
She was close…ever so close. She stopped looking and froze once more. She had found him! Her beast triumphed at this small but accomplished task. Their eyes met and she knew this had to be him. Micah was…short. That was her first thought…okay, second thought. He looked expensive and almost too pretty; like a man from a fashion magazine.
“Ms. Shadowhawk?”
He stepped forward and she suddenly realized the significance of the glittering amber green of his eyes and it made her blink. He smiled slowly and offered her his hand. Should she shake it? Kiss it? She wasn’t entirely sure.
He sensed her hesitation, and made the move look natural by taking her bag with one hand and shaking with the other. She felt the spirit of her beast rumble and push against his hand, which made him pause in place. He held her hand for a long moment, his eyes clouding with concern, then he blinked the look away and released her grip. “Impressive. I’m Micah Callahan.”
“I know.”
He nodded. “Welcome to St. Louis. Merle is outside with the car; we can talk once we get your bags.”
“Bags?”
He frowned, “Is this all you have?”
She nodded. “It is, we don’t have a lot on the reservation…clothes are kind of secondary.”
He turned back to her looking just a little abashed. “Well, I apologize for assuming.”
She shook her head. “No apology is necessary, sir. I know it isn’t much.”
“That’s fine, Anita wondered where all of your things would go, and now she doesn’t need to worry.”
“Anita?”
“Blake…the vampire executioner,” he supplied after she continued giving him a blank look. “You haven’t heard of her? She’s all over the news every few months.”
She shook her head again, “I’m not one for modern news or forms of information.”
“Modern…what?”
“I don’t watch much television, and newspapers are so full of death and despair I gave up on reading them.”
“I see,” he said leading her out towards the large, multiple doors that marked the exit. “Anita Blake is our Nimir-Ra, or leopard queen. I am your king; or will be if you fit in well enough. She is also a vampire’s human servant, a necromancer, an executioner, and sometimes lupa of the werewolf clan.”
She narrowed her brows. “She must be very busy.”
Micah laughed out loud at that. “She wouldn’t disagree on that.”
“I will be staying with her?” Taini wasn’t sure she liked that thought now.
“She has agreed to let you stay; mostly because she doesn’t trust you.”
“Me?” She stopped in the middle of the flow of people. “Why not?”
“The last few guests that have been allowed in St. Louis, haven’t been all together trustworthy. So she can’t be blamed, however, she is naturally distrustful.” He said wrapping a firm arm around her shoulders and pulling her on.
“How very jaded.”
Micah shrugged noncommittally. “It comes with the territory, I think.”
He opened the large glass door for her and she followed him out, blinking at the brightness of the sun. She looked this way and that her eyes settling on a middle aged man with hair that was more gray than the black it seemed to once have been. “Is that Merle?”
“It is; how did you know?”
“I…feel him,” she said unable to think of another word.
“How many lycanthropes have you been around, Taini?” Micah asked gently.
“Just the two of you…and the one who attacked me,” she explained.
“Hmmm…” He ran a hand across his handsome face.
“Have I done something wrong?” Taini asked feeling her stomach sink.
He shook his head, and rushed to reassure her, “No, no of course not, it’s just that we aren’t sure were you would go if you came into our Pard.”
“What do you mean?”
“All shape shifters have a certain level of power. The least dominant of us have the least amount and the rulers of us have the most. All of the others fall in between. Depending on your power you can be called dominant, alpha, a bodyguard, any number of things. But…if you have too many alphas in one pard…”
“Fights start to happen.”
He smiled one of the humorless smiles, “It’s the same everywhere; too many people want to be in charge.”
“I don’t.” She said honestly. “I don’t want to be in charge of anything. I just…want to belong,” she answered as they stepped up to the car the older lycanthrope was leaning against.
Micah gave her an odd look before motioning towards the mad at the car, “Taini, this is Merle. He is my bodyguard.”
Taini held her hand out to him Merle looked at it, and then looked around as if waiting for some kind of trap to spring before he took it. She felt her beast rise once more and push against Merle’s hand. Merle’s eyes narrowed looking down at her. “Now what the hell was that for!?”
Taini stepped back, surprised at the gray-haired man’s sudden reaction.
“Back down, Merle. I don’t think she realizes what she’s doing,” Micah said in a calm tone. Taini wondered if it was possible to make this man angry. Certainly was easy to anger his bodyguard.
Merle looked her over. He obviously did not agree, but he did back down. Taini respected that, he disagreed with his king, was willing to protect him, but supportive all at the same time. But what was she doing that had them looking at her so oddly?
“Tell Merle how many lycanthropes you’ve come in contact with…aside from your attacker.”
“Just the two of you…Have I done something wrong?” Even she could hear the fear that had crept into her voice.
Merle looked as if he didn’t want to answer. Micah gave him a look that Taini couldn’t read. Merle sighed and looked back at the small Native American woman.
“No, Taini, but your beast, she’s different. Strong in a way I‘m not familiar with.”
Taini narrowed her eyes, feeling confused. “But all lycanthropes are…”
“No, not all,” He cut her off. “Some are very weak in comparison to the average lycan. When we shook your hand, yours pushed into us; my arm is still tingling from it,” Merle said, frowning down at her. “You,” he stated firmly. “are not weak”
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Shamaness Indeed