Making Things Right | By : twolastwords Category: Anita Blake > Threesomes Plus Views: 3280 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Anita Blake series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Set during Cerulean Sins just after Jean-Claude kicked Anita out of his room.
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I don’t know how long I sat there. I thought that I had heard Nathaniel try to talk to me but I couldn’t hear a thing. Instead my mind was racing with the thoughts of my men. My chest hurt and I knew that if I tried to speak I would cry. It wasn’t fair, I had tried to be a good person. I truly believed, I tried to be faithful but things just kept happening. So I prayed. I prayed long and hard about my life and my situation. I finally prayed for help choosing, I asked Him what I should do.
After my butt went numb and I finally couldn’t fell my legs I stood shakily. It figured that it had to have been an hour or so since I started praying. Surprisingly I felt lighter, calmer and sure of what needed to be done. It was nice to know what to do. I took a deep breath and asked for the strength to do what was needed. It was hopefully going to be best for all of us. First thing first. I needed to find Asher.
The Circus of the Damned was easy to navigate if you know where you’re going. Luckily I had an idea of where to head. Somewhere in the back of my mind a tiny voice was screaming at me that I was making a mistake and that I should run away before I screw something else up with Asher and Jean-Claude. I would have liked to listen to the voice but my own stubbornness kept me from doing so. As I walked down the halls ways I was surprised that I didn’t see more people but then again I was reminded of just how early Jean-Claude can awake since he was a master vampire. Asher while not as an early riser had a habit of waking early. Wishing I had worn by watch so I could see just how long I had been praying I continued toward where I thought Asher might be.
I don’t know what made me think to look there but I had a feeling that Asher might be in the room with the painting. The one where Musette’s gift’s still lay. They had not been moved since they had been given and for some reason I knew that Asher would be there....staring at himself from when his scars were new. I pushed open the door and there he was, just as I had though. Score one for Anita.
He didn’t turn to look at me, but I knew that he knew that I was there. I paused at the door my fingers wrapping around the wood of the door, trying to gather my thoughts. I knew what I needed to say but not how to say it. Vaguely I guess I was worried about being my normal self, saying things that did more harm then good but I knew that I had to speak. “I don’t want you to leave.” I said finally, entering the room letting the door close to the room.
“I cannot stand to be here any longer ma cherie, I will protect my heart in this case.” He told me not looking away from the picture, the horrible sight. I moved closer unsure of how to begin what I needed to say. I had to handle Asher carefully, all of my men were broken and the strain was hard on me in times like this.
“I came to apologize.” I ignored his scoff, I was beginning to get irritated but I took a deep breath and asked silently for strength. I had to be patient with Asher. “I want the chance to try and explain just why it bothers me.” He knew what I was talking about, being rolled. I sat down on the couch that had once held me Jean-Claude and Damian when Musette first arrived. I sat there and wrapped my arms around myself in place of the hug that I desperately needed. “I’ve been a vampire executioner longer then I’ve been one of the monsters, Asher.” My voice was softer then normal and I couldn’t bare to tear my eyes away from him if he did plan on leaving. I traced his back with my eyes and remembered the firm plains of his body from when I had been pressed so firmly against him.
“Everything I knew about vampires, was changed when I met Jean-Claude. My whole world was turned upside down.” I told him remembering the first time that I had been marked as Jean-Claude’s human servant. Life had been so much easier then, I killed the monsters I sure as hell didn’t date them. “I thought you were all soulless beasts, I thought that there was nothing redeemable about you. It was what I was taught.” Was the only defense I had.
“Slowly my wold became mixed with that of the so called monsters. I thought that I could stay human.” I laughed bitterly human, I was anything but at that point. “Everyone wants something from me! Richard wants the perfect girlfriend. Human enough to play house with him, but wolf enough for him to fuck.” Tears leaked from my eyes but I made no motion to wipe them away.
“Jean-Claude needs someone strong and quite...ready to listen and feed him. No matter that no so long ago, I killed master vampires and their human servants!” My voice was slowly getting louder. “The wolves, and the leopards both are in constant need of help because of the fucked leaders they had before. And of course there is you. The one that I love through the memories of another.” I was well and truly sobbing at that point. Asher had turned to face me at some point his face impassive as ever. “I’ve given up everything for everyone, Asher. The only thing I have left are my ideals. I was raised to believe that a woman should only ever be with one man and a man with one woman.” I sniffed and stared at him begging him to understand.
“How to I turn my back on everything I’ve ever known, Asher?” I asked him seriously. He had no answer. “But...I want to try. So badly, I want things to get better. I want everyone to be happy.”
Asher didn’t speak for a long time his face half hidden behind his golden hair and as impassive as ever. I sat there huddled up as much as possible waiting for him to speak. I hadn’t meant to say all that, but when I started talking everything just poured out and didn’t stop. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t know that Asher had moved until he had sat down beside me.
“You are terribly hard to be angry at ma cherie.” He told him softly. I gave a watery laugh but didn’t reply I was worried that should I open my mouth something defensive would come out and undo all my hard work. I couldn’t afford that right now. “I owe you an apology as well, I did take the opportunity to feed when I did not have the right.” I swallowed back anger, I had already knew that and I had already worked through that. Asher smiled slightly at me. “You are allowing much more then normal.”
“I figure that I can’t go around snapping at people, if I’m trying to make things right.” My voice was tight and suddenly knew that my plan wasn’t going to work. I would end up saying something to hurt one of them and it would be over. I curled up on myself more feeling defeat try to swallow me whole when I felt Asher’s arms wrap around me.
“I will help you learn, ma cherie. I will be the buffer between your anger and theirs.” He promised me and relief washed through me. I might get a chance to make things right.
“Thank you Asher! Thank you so much!” I sobbed into his chest clinging to him. Being honest was draining and I could see just why I didn’t do it every often.
First chapter...written on a whim will be better in the next chapter when Anita and Asher get things made right with Jean-Claude.
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