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No Regrets?	By : bewaretheshort1 Category: G through L > Kushiel's Trilogy Views: 1656 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Kushiel's Legacy or the characters therin, nor do I make money from this writing.

Chapter List
- 1-No Regrets?
- 1
I was shown to a room lit mostly by the small fire dancing in the fireplace. A few candles had been lit in the far corners of the room to prevent it from being completely cast in dark shadow. Lucian was pacing in front of the mantle, and stopped mid-step as I shut the door behind myself. For once, I could see the the play of expression over his beautiful face with ease. Naked relief mingled with anxiety as he stared at me. He cleared his throat and tried to master himself.
“I wasn’t sure you would come,” he said by way of greeting. Lucian tried for nonchalant, but his hoarse voice gave him away.
“I told you I would,” I replied, my own voice scarce above a whisper. I could no more tear my eyes from him than I could move. Desire and trepidation had me rooted to the spot.
He had shed the gold-embroidered overcoat favored by his House, and the rest of his clothing dark enough to melt into the shadows. With his dark hair, woven into dozens of small braids, his ivory features all but glowed. My heart pounded in my breast, and I longed to close the distance and take him in my arms. Even as he watched, knowing my dilemma almost better than myself, he remained uncertain.
“No second thoughts?” Lucian asked, almost sharply. He clasped his hands behind his back, but I saw the slight tremble.
I swallowed, hard, and shook my head. “No.”
Moving like a stalking cat, Lucian strode over to me. So caught up in the grace and beauty of his movements was I, that I had no time to brace myself for the quick-as-lightning hand that gripped my club and drug my face to down to his. The hand on my hair was painful, but his lips were soft and demanding.
He has kissed me before, but never like this. My will evaporated before his, and what he demanded of me, I gave without thought. Almost of their own volition, my arms curled around him, pulling him tight against me. His tongue parted my willing lips, and I felt rather than heard his groan.
“Love me,” he demanded against my mouth, both hands tugging at my hair and loosening it from the club. “Let me make love to you.”
“Lucian,” I choked, and his lips claimed mine, silencing me. His hips pressed against me, and I could feel his phallus - erect and straining - pressing against my thigh. This time, the impatient groan was mine as I felt my own stiffen in reply.
“I’ll show you to the bedroom,” he told me with a breathless chuckle. Lucian pulled away, and I swayed yearning towards him at the sudden loss of contact with his body. Amusement lit his twilight eyes, and he held out his hand. “Well?”
I grabbed his hand and pulled it to my mouth to kiss his fingers. Before he could pull away, I turned his hand to plant a more impassioned kiss on his palm. Any biting comment he had ready caught audibly in his throat, and I felt his hand tremble. Nuzzling his palm, I looked at him, feeling somewhat smug that I had robbed him of the power of speech.
But never for long.
“Blessed Elua, Edouard,” he breathed. “If you keep this up, I will take you on the floor.”
“Do you want me to apologize?” I asked mischievously, and felt a thrill of fear at his expression. Never before had I seen the flame of Kushiel’s fire so marked in him as then, and never before had I felt the reciprocal burn to submit to such a flame.
His smile was slow, and more than a little cruel. “You will apologize many, many times before I am done with you, Edouard.”
I shivered at the caress his voice gave my name, as though he had somehow been able to touch me intimately with a word. The smile, the flame, had me following him at the tug of my hand.
I am ashamed to say that I noticed nothing of the room he led me to, save that it was lit with only two candles, and had a bed. The rest was an impression of dark shadows and heavy furniture, lost when Lucian pulled me against him. I know not if he kissed me, or if it was I who kissed him. His teeth caught my lip in a sharp bite, which caused a small sound of pain to escape me.
I kissed him, greedily, nearly pulling him off of his feet. His fingers tangled in my hair, yanking it free of my club. When I made another noise, he nipped my lip again, harder. He moved his hips into me, a clever motion that had his rigid phallus rubbing against mine. I shuddered, near overcome with sensation.
“You are wearing too much,” he told me savagely. His hands went to my clothes, tugging at them and fussing at the buttons.
Though it was agony, I stepped away from him to unbuckle my baldric and let it swing to a chair. I could not take my eyes from him, even as my hands shook as I struggled to remove the belt holding my daggers. Lucian stared back, half-amused, which did nothing to steady my hands.
“I want to test this famed Cassiline discipline,” he murmured as he closed the distance between us. His hands ran lightly over my shoulders, and I shivered.
“Is that not what you have been doing since we met?” I asked with a rather weak smile.
Lucian’s answering smile was anything but weak. “No, beloved, I haven’t.”
As that sunk in, I stared at him with something akin to horror. Since the day we met, I have felt my resolve tested by him. What I might have said in reply was lost the minute he nuzzled my neck. My head tilted back of its own accord, and a soft moan escaped my lips.
“Play along, Edouard,” he admonished gently, lips brushing my skin. His hands slid up my chest. “I truly want to know how strong your discipline is.”
“Very well,” I replied. I straightened, and focused on unbuckling my vambraces. His clever fingers moved over my body, finding gaps in my clothing to caress sensitive places that I did know even existed. By the time my shaking hands had removed both vambraces, Lucian had somehow managed to have me nearly stripped to the waist. As I cast aside my armor, he slipped my shirt and doublet off my shoulders.
“Stand up straight, hands at your sides,” he told me, voice rich in amusement and somewhat darker. Though there was no command in his tone, I obeyed. My heart pounded in my chest and my phallus near ached with yearning. Despite this, I was able to suppress the shiver I felt as Lucian’s hands explored my chest and shoulders.
He hummed in his throat, nearly a purr of appreciation. After over a decade of daily training and exercise, my body was not unlike the ancient Hellene statues. While vanity is not a virtue commonly possessed - or even encouraged - in Cassiline Brothers, we do take pride in our forms. It sent a thrill of erotic pleasure to know that Lucian found the body I had spent a decade and more training worthy of appreciation.
I did not squirm as his fingers trailed down my sides, though it tickled fiercely. My phallus twitched in response, however, and I heard Lucian’s low chuckle. He said nothing, but continued his explorations. When his fingers stopped at the top of my trousers, I felt my breathing hitch and I had to bite back a groan.
“Have I already reached the end of your discipline, Edouard?” he asked mischievously. I looked into his sapphire eyes, shining in triumph, and found a renewed resolve.
“Hardly,” I replied, though my voice trembled somewhat.
He grinned. “Excellent.”
His fingers circled around the top of my trousers, from my hips to my back, stopping at the top of my buttocks. Light as a feather, they slid up my spine to tangle in my hair. Slowly, he wound my hair around his hands, applying increasing pressure to my scalp. At first, I resisted, finding a strange eroticism in the pain he dealt, which only worsened as this maneuver brought his body snug against mine. I could feel his breath on my skin, the warmth of his still-clothed body pressed to me, and the hard line of his phallus against my thigh.
I felt my will fade, and my head tilted back as he continued to pull my hair. What Lucian’s expression was, I do not know. His breathing - as hard as my own - gave no indication of his reaction. He rose on his toes, sliding against me, and gave my exposed throat a hard, nearly bruising bite.
I have never known pain quite like this. Never before had it sent such a thrill through my body, causing my phallus to twitch and harden. The pain itself was enough to push me to the edge of my resolve, but when Lucian began to suck at the abused flesh, I lost more than a measure of my control.
All of the breath I had sucked in when he bit me came out in a choked rush. How I ever managed to not make a sound, I do not know. My hips jerked into him, and I longed to wrap my arms around him and hold him against me. I kept my hands at my sides, balled into tight fists. Later, I would learn that I had pierced the skin of my palms with my nails.
Lucian laughed against my throat, and pulled his head back, letting my skin slide out of his teeth. I had no strength to stop the shudder that wen through my body. He untangled one hand from my hair and with a vice-like grip on my chin, forced me to tilt my head back down to look at him. His other hand remained where it was, keeping pressure on my scalp.
“My Cassiline,” he murmured with a voice thick with desire. “My Edouard. The things I would do to you... but you require patience.” He searched my face. “You have always been a test of my patience.”
“Is that why?” I asked. I was surprised that I did not embarrass myself by stumbling over my words.
He smiled and nuzzled my lips - which parted for him to take. “No, my love. I simply like to see you undone.”
Lucian kissed me, teeth scraping on my lips and tongue almost violently invading my mouth. I could not more stand against him than I could against the rockfalls of Camlach. My hands gripped his hips, pressing him against me, while my own moved to seek some relief of the nearly painful pressure in my phallus.
“I am not done,” he admonished sharply. “Put your hands back at your sides.”
For an instance, I thought of rebelling, but a quick, painful nip on my lower lip banished all such thoughts. I obeyed, then, feeling my hands tighten back into fists in a vain effort to behave.
He resumed kissing me, using my hair to to turn my head to his liking. His teeth would nip and scrape, to the point where I thought more than once he had pierced my lip, then his tongue would massage and probe at turns. The combination of pain and pleasure had me completely at his mercy - a position he was sure to note and thoroughly enjoy. When I thought I could take no more and my knees would buckle, he pulled away.
“Hands behind your back, Edouard,” he ordered, voice tight and hoarse. “Now.”
“Why?” I asked as I obeyed, struggling to regain some mastery of myself.
“I’m not done testing your discipline.”
He let his teeth drag against my neck, and I braced myself for another painful bite. I felt a shiver go through me as he found the point where my pulse was strongest, and paused. No bite was forthcoming, and I felt tension mount in my body. When he passed over the bruise, he paused again, and teased it with his tongue. I shivered once more.
Lucian continued down past my throat, sucking my collarbone and resting his teeth against it. I tensed, but still he did not bite. He released my hair to hold on to my shoulders. I swallowed a gasp at the sudden release of pain, and felt a strange emptiness at it. His tongue teased and explored my chest, then nipples. This time, I could not hold back the groan, and felt my breath turn ragged.
Suddenly, he bit down, as hard as he had bit my throat. I shuddered along the wave of pain and pleasure that shook through me. He sucked as he bit, and had my voice not been taken hostage by sensation, I might have cried out. When he released my nipple, I looked down to see him smirking at me. Though I was taller than him and trained since the age of ten in combat, though I was unbound, I felt obscurely helpless as I stared down into his sapphire eyes. He held my gaze, and slowly, very slowly, licked my nipple. A shudder ran through me and my knees turned to water.
“Just a little longer, my Cassiline,” he breathed soothingly.
He then nipped his way down to my stomach, giving each muscle a light bite as he came to it. When he came to my belly button, he stopped and licked around it. I felt my breath catch in my throat and my heart felt as though it would leap out of my chest. His teeth scraped and drug over it, and he sucked hard at the skin surrounding it. His tongue explored into it, as though he were trying to kiss it as he would my mouth. I whimpered, undone, but he paid me no attention.
Lucian’s hands rested on my hips as he knelt before me, and my thoughts scattered like leaves in a wind. He nipped the lower muscles of my stomach, just above my trousers, and I whined again. He nibbled and let his hands slide down to my thighs. I felt my phallus twitch as though fighting the confines of my trousers. When I could take no more, he began to unlace my trousers.
My phallus sprang forth, painfully erect. I groaned aloud when I felt his breath on it, and realized belatedly that he had blown on it. I struggled to focus on his face - so close to my phallus - and plead with him. For what, I could not guess.
“Do you want me, Edouard?” he asked. It took me no less than three attempts to confirm that yes, I did want him. “You have no second thoughts? No regrets?”
Beyond words, I shook my head. Lucian smiled, and turned to let his lips run alongside my phallus, from base to blunt tip. He repeated the motion down the other side, and no longer able to hold back, I moaned. When he nuzzled my phallus up, his tongue circled around the base.
“L-lucian!”
I could not stop my phallus from twitching, no more than I could stop myself from making small, helpless noises. He ignored me, and continued licking, moving further up with each stroke of his tongue. Tears of frustration pricked my eyes. In the struggle to obey his command that I keep my hands behind my back, I gripped my wrists hard enough to hurt. It was not enough to distract me from the intense pleasure of Lucian’s tongue massaging me.
As he reached the tip, his teeth began to scrape. I jerked, half in shock and half in anticipation. He laughed, low in his throat, but continued. With infinitesimal gentleness, he tugged at my foreskin, slipping his tongue beneath it. I sobbed his name, my hips moved to beg that he take me into his mouth. I could feel the smile stretching his lips against my phallus. He released my foreskin, but did not remove his teeth. His tongue circled my blunt tip, and I called out his name once more. His fingers dug into my thighs and hips, keeping them in place.
“Patience, Cassiline,” he told me, mocking. I groaned at the sensation of his lips moving against me so intimately. “Patience.”
“Lucian, for Elua’s sake,” I managed brokenly. He chuckled, and drug his teeth around the tip. I could not make a noise, for all the breath had left my body. I shook, captive, in his grip.
“You held up well, my love. I suppose you deserve a reward.”
What I might have said in response, I do not know. In that moment, he wrapped his lips around my phallus and began to gently suck. His tongue worked ingeniously along the bottom. Each pass upwards, he added a small lick to my tip. Each pass down, he pushed more and more of me into his mouth, until I could feel the back of his throat. I thought it would be that, but then he swallowed me whole, his tongue stroking my testes.
I gasped - I think his name - and struggled to keep my hips still. Lucian’s fingers pressed into my thighs and his teeth pressing into my phallus were a painful reminder. Yet the pain was but another goad to my pleasure. I fought my mounting climax with everything I had, recalling lessons from my youth that were meant to give me resolve and strength.
But when Lucian swallowed me, I lost the battle. I gripped my wrists hard and could not stop my hips from moving into his mouth a little. I tried to find the ability to speak more than his name, to somehow give him warning.
“Lucian, I-I can’t-”
Rather than pull away, he pulled in, putting the whole of me deep into his throat. I cried out as I climaxed, my seed spilling down Lucian’s throat. I sobbed his name again when I felt him swallowing, tongue and throat working. It was only afterwards that he pulled back and looked up at me, sapphire eyes shining.
“I am not done with you, Edouard.”
With determination, he took me back into his mouth. The pleasure was nearly unbearable, and I bit back a cry. I could not stop the shuddering moan. He kept at it for a few minutes, before pulling away with a smirk. He rose, sliding his hands up my thighs, hips, and sides, making me shudder at the sensation.
“I have dreamed of this far too long to let you spend yourself so freely.”
I was unable to come up with a reply, but he did not seem to mind. Instead, he tugged me towards the bed I noticed when I first arrived in the room. As he did so, he encouraged me to finish stripping myself. He gently pushed me onto the bed, and then to lay back. Settling over me, Lucian kissed me deeply. I moaned as I realized I could taste myself on his tongue. He rested his forehead against mine, and looked me in the eyes.
“Do you trust me?”
“With my life,” I replied softly, without hesitation. His eyes closed slowly and I felt a tremor run through him. I cradled him against me, stroking his braided hair.
“I love you.” It was almost a prayer, the way he said it.
“I love you, too.”
“Let me make love to you, Edouard,” he said, nearly begging.
“Please, Lucian,” I replied. “Please.”
He kissed me again, and this time it was gentler than before. There was no teeth, no bruising of my lips. I arched into him, and he made a soft noise against my mouth.
Slowly, his hands moved up my shoulders, pushing my arms up. I did not protest, but let him move me as he chose. All the while, I felt as though I were drowning in his kiss. By the time I felt the padded leather around my wrists, I was already bound to the headboard.
I pulled away to look at him, and he stared back, eyes pleading.
“Do you trust me?” he asked again, uncertain. I gave a careful tug on the cuffs to test them, and was unsurprised to find them quite secure. I watched him, feeling my heart pound with both unbearable desire and more than a little fear. Cassiline as I am, even I knew the extent the flame of Kushiel could drive him.
Finally, I replied, “With my life.”
I felt him relax, as though a breath he had been holding was only just released. He shifted, placing his knees between mind, and kissed me once more. As before, it was gentle. This time, however, his clever hands moved along my body. He seemed to know instinctively where I was most sensitive, how to elicit a gasp or cry from my lips.
Sometime between his gentle kisses and clever caresses - I know not when - he stripped himself. I saw it only when his hand finally wrapped around my phallus and began stroking it. I gasped and arched, my eyes flying open to see him kneeling over me, magnificently naked.
I stared, enraptured and ensnared. I had always considered Lucian to be the most beautiful man I had ever met, but seeing him in all of his nude glory was a devastation I did not know existed. So I stared, and seeming to feel my eyes upon him, he looked up and smiled. I cannot name everything I saw in that smile - cruelty, desire, amusement - but above everything, I saw love. I shuddered, and moved into his hand.
His other hand slid between the cleft of my buttocks, his fingers finding my nether orifice. I was too shocked to respond at first. He had slickened his fingers with somewhat, and the caress was as gentle as it was inexorable. I could not - can not - deny the pleasure my body took in his probings. My phallus twitched in his hand, and he slid a finger inside of me.
I moaned, unable to help myself, and arched my hips up further to give him full access. I gave a surprised cry when his finger found somewhat inside me that sent a bolt of pleasure through my body. I could hear him laugh softly, feel it in his hands as he shifted, and I shuddered when he suddenly added another finger.
“My Cassiline,” he breathed, sounding almost shaky. “My Edouard.”
“Lucian,” I moaned. He shifted again, and leaned over to kiss me. In doing so, he pressed our phalluses together, a sensation that was so unique, so erotic, that I cried aloud. He smiled against my lips, and moved his hand to encompass us both, still stroking. I moved my hips, causing us to slide against one another, and this time, I was not the only one who groaned.
“Blessed Elua, Edouard!” he gasped, a shudder overtaking him. “You try my patience!”
“Please, Lucian,” I begged, nuzzling against his mouth. I felt him stiffen above me. His phallus twitched against mine.
“Very well, my love,” he said. “No more waiting.”
He moved his fingers inside me almost violently, making me cry out his name and squirm beneath him. Even when his hand from us, his fingers kept moving. So focused was I on his fingers and what they were doing that I never noticed what he was doing to himself with his other hand. When he removed his fingers, I blinked up at him in surprise. He smiled, making me shiver.
In one sudden move, Lucian pierced me to my core with his phallus. I cried out in a desperate mix of surprise, pain, and intense pleasure, and he echoed me with a low groan. For a moment, he remained still, deep inside of me, his breath coming hard and fast. Then he rolled his hips into me.
I do not know how long he moved in me with my hips rising to meet his. I could not take my eyes off of him, and he stared back into mine with a fierce, possessive expression. He leaned over to kiss me, looking me directly in the eye as he did so. I stared back, unable to do anything else. He wrapped his hand around my phallus to stroke it, and my cry was muffled against his lips.
My climax took me violently by surprise, and I choked out his name. Triumph flashed in Lucian’s sapphire eyes, and he groaned as I tightened around him. His hips moved faster, thrusting himself deeper and harder into me. I whimpered at the apex of each thrust, unable to take the onslaught of pleasure. When I thought I could take no more, Lucian stiffened and reached his climax in three long, body-quaking spasms.
Time floated meaninglessly around us as we lay together in silence, broken only by our heavy breathing. Lucian stirred only enough to release my hands, which found their way around him to hold him close against me. I could feel him twitching inside of me, and feel the cooling sweat and spent seed on our bodies. Feeling that, I slowly became more aware of more than just the two of us.
Seeming to sense this, Lucian lifted his head to look at me. “No second thoughts? No regrets?”
“Elua help me, Lucian,” I replied, unable to speak above a whisper. I stroked his hair, reveling in touching him. “I love you. If I had to break my vows with anyone, I am glad it was you.”
“So you do have regrets,” he said bitterly, moving out of my arms and out of me, to sit away from me. I watched him without moving. I knew Lucian would be able to hear any comforting lie I could think of, and knew, too, that the truth might wound him.
“Some,” I said after a moment. He flinched, and curled around himself. With a sigh, I sat up as well, ignoring my body’s insistence to remain lying down. “Lucian, I did not come here one a whim. I gave this a lot of thought, and prayed to Elua for an answer.”
“I don’t suppose he was forthcoming,” he replied.
“He didn’t offer any such comfort, no.” I reached out to touch him, and hesitated. Instead, I caught a lock of his shining, raven hair. “I love you, Lucian. You are the breath in my lungs and the blood in my heart. The stars in my sky, to guide me. Without you...” I could not continue, at a loss for words.
He allowed himself a small smile, and grabbed my hand to lay a kiss on it. “Poetry? From a Camaeline Cassiline? Now I have heard everything.”
“My best friend is Eisandrine,” I reminded him quickly. I pulled him against me, and he came willingly. “But I meant what I said. In the end, even Cassiel bowed to Blessed Elua and followed his precepts.”
“I am not Blessed Elua,” he answered wryly.
“No, you are Lucian Shahrizai, and that is somewhat better.”
- 1
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No Regrets?