The Practice of Love | By : belladonnacullen Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 2642 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story. |
BPOV
“That was weird.”
I was startled out of my mental fog by the sound of Jake’s deep baritone voice and the feel of his big hand resting itself firmly on my lower back. I had to laugh a little. Weird. Sure, that word worked just fine. It was weird that Edward Masen was a lawyer, and that I’d just talked to him over the phone this morning, and that I saw him less than four hours later in his office, and that we’d held hands while he practically begged me to hire him.
He did beg, didn’t he? I wish there’d been a witness, because it already seemed unreal.
My heart started racing all over again as I tried to remember every detail of how he’d looked and exactly what he’d said. He’d said please, and our knees rubbed just a little as we sat across from one another. He’d leaned towards me, and his voice was so insistent, in that almost-whisper of his, and it made me want to listen closer. I could see how he’d be a good lawyer, just with that voice alone. He’d make you want to listen, and hell, he’d make you want to look too.
I couldn’t say no to him. I should have said no to him. I didn’t want to say no to him.
I could hardly look at Jake as we rode the fancy elevator down to the ground floor.
“Bells?”
“What is it?” I asked, studying the wood paneling next to me.
“Bella Swan, look at me!” I startled, grasping the handrail that ran around the elevator, taking a step away from Jake. When my eyes met his, he looked as surprised as I was, and slightly pissed. Up until then, I’d only heard him use that voice with Ness when she was being disobedient.
“What the hell, Jake?”
“There are other lawyers in this city,” Jake replied in his ‘I’m trying my best to be patient’ voice. It was another voice he often used with my daughter. “You didn’t have to hire him just because I made the appointment. He’s your patient, and it seemed really… awkward in there.”
Weird. Awkward. Jake was a master of the understatement.
“No, I think he’d fight for us, if he had to. And you said he was the best. I liked what he had to say. I’m decided, Jake.”
“And lunch? What lunch?” Jake was losing his battle for patience. So was I. And I felt completely exposed and completely indignant, and completely wrong.
“Saturday. He was coming over to our place Saturday, for lunch.”
“Really?”
“Why would I lie about that?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Your patient was coming to our house for lunch?”
“He’s also Carlisle’s nephew.”
“I’m missing something big here, Bells.”
“Jake, I don’t know. We made a bet about Rose and this guy, Emmett. Emmett’s Carlisle’s son. Anyway, I won the bet, and that meant I got to choose lunch. And Ness likes him. And he’s in an awkward place in his life right now. This woman was screaming at him, and --”
“And what if he won the bet?”
“Then he’d get to chose where to have lunch?” Okay, spoken out loud like that, it sounded really bad.
“Bells, that guy obviously likes you, and he set you up so that he could weasel his way into a date with you.”
“It wasn’t like that! Emmett would do something like that, not Edward. But it wasn’t a set-up. And it wasn’t a date. He said he couldn’t date me. And I invited him to our house. You think I’d bring a date to our house?”
“But you’d invite some strange guy to our house? That’s not much better.”
“He’s not strange.” Well, maybe he was a little strange. But I wasn’t about to tell Jake that.
“How many other guys have there been?” Jake growled.
“What?”
“How many other patients do you have innocent lunches with?”
“Jacob! It’s not like that. This was different. He’s my boss’ family.”
Jacob turned away from me as the elevator doors slid open and began to quickly cross the ornate lobby. The doorman nodded stiffly to him, but Jake kept right on walking out the door without so much as a glance.
“Jake!” I tried to kind of run-walk so that I could catch up with him without making a spectacle of myself. As I slowly sped towards him, I noticed for the first time how he’d tried to dress up for the meeting. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a button-down shirt and a tie. He was pulling off that red and blue striped tie when I was finally able to catch him at the curb.
“Are you trying to tell me that I can’t hire the lawyer that you brought me to see?”
“I don’t trust him,” Jake said, not bothering to look at me.
“Well, I do. And he’s my lawyer!”
The walk sign lit up bright green and Jake looked undecided about whether he was going to follow its command. People brushed past us, and we stayed still on the edge of the curb. I didn’t know what to say. I felt guilty and overwhelmed and very wrong about the meeting with Edward, but I couldn’t help feeling excited... and happy, and bubbly, and breathless. There was no way I could bring myself to give him up.
“Jake,” I grabbed his hand and tried to hold him to the spot. His foot was half on and half off the curb. “My ex is moving three thousand miles from his home so he can live just across the river from me and Ness. He knows where I’ve been working. And I’m scared. And I have a new job with a whole new set of responsibilities. And I have to look good for my boss’ family, and I’m not good at that kind of stuff. In three weeks my life has completely changed.
“I invited someone my boss’ relative over for lunch. It is kind of weird. But it seemed okay at the time.” But as I spoke, I only felt guiltier. While my initial words were true enough, I’d ended on a lie. My lunch with Edward never seemed okay, not from the moment he’d suggested it. But I wanted it anyway. I wanted to be around him and now I was getting my wish. And I wanted to be able to feel happy about that.
“Bells,” Jake murmured. He finally looked at me, and I could see that I was wearing him down with my logic and my lies. He wasn’t sure about my explanation, but he wanted to be. I’d seen that look on his face before, back in Seattle when I’d made the move that changed things between us for good.
“You know the one thing that hasn’t changed, Jake? You. You’ve been my rock this whole time. You were there that first time with James, helping me out of that mess, and here you are again, trying to help with again.” That dawning reality blew apart my happy bubble, obliterating all traces of what I’d been feeling back in Edward’s office.
“Neither of us should be thinking about lunch with my lawyer, we should be thinking about James, and how to keep him away from Ness.”
I meant it. I’d been doing far too much thinking about Edward. My fantasy, my escape, whatever he was to me, it really didn’t matter. At least, it shouldn’t matter. What mattered was that my little girl was safe. Jake had been doing a better job than I had in making sure that was the case.
I decided to try my best to follow my own advice.
“Bells, he’s not going to hurt you this time,” Jake assured me, visibly softening. He tugged my arm gently, and we crossed the street at the next light.
“I’m a mess right now, Jake. I picture James jumping out from behind trees and stuff. I think I see Victoria wherever I go. It’s like the rug has been pulled out from under me and I can’t find my footing. And I just really appreciate you so much.” We stopped walking in front of the fountain.
Jake smiled a little, but shook his head. “You appreciate me? Well, as long as I have your appreciation, then…”
“I love you, stupid. You know that,” I added quickly.
“That’s better.” Jake bent to kiss me, and I felt the cool mist from the fountain settling on my arms. It was so muggy out that the water didn’t evaporate, but just laid there, feeling kind of slimy against my skin.
Jake deepened the kiss and my head started pounding in time with my pulse. My heart didn’t flutter; my skin didn’t tingle. I just loved him, and it felt good. I was safe with Jake, and he loved my daughter and me more than anything. I didn’t doubt for a second that he’d spend the rest of his life with us, whether I married him or not. I thought of our mommy, baby and Jake rocks, and of the pictures of mommies and babies and Jakes all over the house. He was Ness’ Jake. The closest thing to a dad she’d ever had.
Jake smiled down at me, rubbing my arms, and I reflexively cuddled against him, almost like a cat would. That’s the moment when it dawned on me: Jake had seen Edward and I together, and he thought Edward liked me.
And goddamn it, as I thought about Jake’s words and Edward’s fingers twined with mine, that’s when my body reacted. My heart started racing and I couldn’t catch my breath. It was almost like the time in high school when Jake told me that his friend Quil liked me. Okay, not exactly. When I was sixteen I was faintly excited, but now I was overwhelmed with guilty desire.
And as Jake wrapped me in his arms in front of the fountain, I wondered what it would feel like in Edward’s embrace. And I couldn’t stop my thoughts there. I wanted to be in Edward’s bare arms, against his bare chest, I wanted his arms wrapped around me in bed, and I wanted him inside of me, those pretty-ass eyes staring into my own.
I shuddered.
“You couldn’t be cold,” Jake mumbled. “It’s like a million degrees outside.”
And then I felt sick.
Going out with Jake’s friend Quil in high school had been a mistake, but how I felt now, this was a sin. I felt big tears rolling down my face before I even knew I was crying. I was sabotaging myself. What did I think, that cheating on Jake with my new lawyer was going to make things better?
“Bells, baby,” Jake murmured, hugging me tighter. “I’m sorry for that back there.”
I cried harder. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d only been good to my daughter and me.
“Of course that guy likes you. Who wouldn’t? I was jealous, and stupid. There are more important things going on right now. And if that lawyer’s going to help, and as long as he keeps his dick in his pants, I’ll deal with it.”
I had a mental flash from that first day, back in the lab. I hadn’t let my mind go back there, because it crossed all sorts of professional lines. But, oh my god, that... dick.
Jake wiped a tear from my face and I closed my eyes. I felt like I was breaking down, and cracking into pieces right there in the goddamned park. Jake wrapped his big arms around me tighter and held me, and I felt like maybe the pieces would hold if he stayed. Like last time, when he came back and he stayed forever.
“Fuck,” I mumbled.
“What?”
“Fuck.” I said it louder.
“Bells?”
“Fuck!” I practically shouted it. It felt surprisingly good. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“Baby?”
But it didn’t change anything. I tried smiling, but I’m sure I couldn’t have even convinced one of the pigeons at my feet that I was happy.
“Do you want to talk?”
“I can’t.” I sat down on the edge of the fountain, feeling weak and stupid.
“Why couldn’t I do this on my own? Why can’t I just help myself?” I asked more to myself than to Jake.
“Bells, only fools help themselves when they’re in court.”
“That’s not exactly how the saying goes, Jake.” And why was I such a bitch? I knew what he meant.
“I don’t care about the stupid saying,” he argued. “We’re not islands; we’re people. And people don’t go around doing everything by themselves. When you’re hurt, when you’re scared, I’m going to be there. And there’s nothing wrong with that. And when you need someone to stand up for you in court, it’s good to have a lawyer around. What the hell do you think you’ve done wrong?”
Well, I wanted to get into my lawyer’s pants, and I couldn’t stop wondering if he felt the same way.
“I should have been stronger. I should be stronger now.”
“Did you just hear anything I said? Dude… you graduated from medical school with an infant and a leg that was broken in three places. And you were testifying in court against your husband at the time. And then you moved across the country and kicked-butt at CHOP. You could have had any job in the country, I think. You’re amazing, and smart, and the best mom ever. And I’m so lucky you kept me around.”
“You hate Philly.”
“I love you.”
“You miss your family.”
“You know what I think about family.”
Ness and I were his family. He’d said it a million times. And sure, I’d graduated and all that, but I couldn’t have done it without him. And we weren’t even a couple then.
It wasn’t until I was assigned to a residency here in Philly. When I got the letter in the mail I was excited for about ten seconds, and then I broke down and cried. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it. I could hardly even walk, and Ness couldn’t sleep for more than two hours straight, and my mom lived in Florida and my dad was in Forks, and neither could just pick up and leave and help me out.
Jake found me at the kitchen table an hour later, crying, with Ness on my lap. He read the letter, and smiled and couldn’t understand what my problem was. I’d gotten so much better by then. I hardly ever cried. And he was so proud of me.
“But I can’t go, Jake. How can I do a residency? I’ve got Vanessa to take care of. It’s three thousand miles from my dad, and a thousand miles from my mom.”
“You’ll find help. Philly’s a big city; there are nannies, and sitters, and daycares. You’re amazing. You can do it, Bells. I don’t have a doubt in the world.”
Something had clicked as I stared across the table at Jake. Something about his tight white T-shirt and the earnest look in his eyes. He believed in me about as much as my parents did. And the way he was looking at me, I think he cared about me as much too.
“Come with me.”
“What?”
“Come with me to Philadelphia, Jacob.”
Of course, I knew how he felt. It’d killed him when I’d dated Quil. And I remembered the way he looked at me when I got back from the junior prom with my dress torn, and how I’d had to hold him back from killing that guy. Not that he’d needed to do anything; I’d done enough damage to the jerk on my own.
“What?” Jake asked again.
I’d placed Ness down in her little Moses basket and walked across the cramped apartment kitchen to the doorway where he was standing.
“What are you asking, Bells?” I saw the hope he was trying to mask. He wanted to believe it was true. Just like he’d wanted to believe me today.
“All this time, and I never really saw what was right in front of me.” He was strong, capable, handsome, and he loved me.
And when I touched him, I felt calm. His eyes were excited and questioning all at once, and he stroked my face with his long fingers. His skin was warm, and his fingers were rough from all the work he’d done since he was a little kid.
He’d never hurt me.
“Jacob.”
“Bells, what are you doing?”
I stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the lips for the first time, ever. He was so surprised, that he didn’t even kiss me back. So I tried again. That time, his arms practically crushed me in his embrace, and just like today, I felt like he was holding the pieces of me together when I couldn’t. And all the need and desire he’d been holding back all those years kind of exploded out of him, so that it wasn’t sweet or romantic, it was kind of frantic.
And, for a second, I was sure I’d been an idiot, because I could have chosen Jake so long ago, and I’d have avoided James altogether.
But then Ness started crying in her basket, reminding me that something good had come out of all that hell. I picked Ness up, and bounced her and kissed the top of her head and shushed her, and then took a seat and quickly whipped out my boob to feed her. I glanced up and saw Jake looking at my breast.
“Bells,” he said, not looking away from my boob.
“Jake?”
His black eyes flashed and he smiled at me cautiously. “I love you, Bells.”
“Jake, I love you too.” He sighed and turned towards the window, as if my love wasn’t enough. Maybe he knew it all along.
“And when you say you want me to come to Philly?”
“I mean, that I want you there, with me. Together.”
For the first time in so many years, I felt like I’d made the right choice. We fell into family-hood so easily. We just clicked together, and we didn’t argue, ever. Our families were overjoyed.
Of course, at first, Jake always wanted more in the bedroom. But Ness was hardly sleeping, and we moved cross-country and had to get settled with an infant, and I was working twenty-four hours at a stretch. Sex was pretty far down on the list. And Jake understood, I think.
“Baby, are you going to be okay?” Jake asked, bringing me back to the present. He still had his arms around me as we sat on the edge of the fountain, and as I looked up at him I noticed little water droplets beading in his dark hair. “I’ve got to get back to the garage or Paul’s gonna kill me.”
“I’m sorry, Jake. I wish I’d never gotten us into all of this. I’m just… I’m… fuck. You know?” I couldn’t say what I really felt, because it was so messed up, so awful.
“You’re too hard on yourself, Bells.”
I tried not to start crying again so Jake could go back to work.
xXxXx
“Bella!” Alice jumped off her barstool and glided gracefully across the dining room like she was some modern day Grace Kelly. “It’s so good to see you!” Alice hugged me like we were old friends and it had been years, when really, we’d just met yesterday. But even though she was so over the top dramatic, and I was still feeling like an ungrateful girlfriend, something about Alice made me smile.
As she led me back to the counter of the trendy little diner, I couldn’t help but admire her green linen dress shorts and her pale yellow sleeveless blouse. She looked cool, and businesslike and young, all at once.
“Do you want something to drink? Iced tea? Lemonade?”
“Iced coffee?” I couldn’t stand the coffee in this city, but I kept trying anyway.
“Sure. Hey, Tom? Could you get my friend an iced-coffee and a menu?”
“Sure thing, Alice. Nice to see you’re not eating alone today.”
Alice smiled politely at Tom, and the waiter chuckled a little, and I could tell he was trying a to be a little more than friendly to his customer. The poor guy could hardly look away from her. But Alice turned to me, seemingly oblivious.
“Do you come here a lot?” I asked.
“I have a good feeling about this place, lately. And they have an awesome pulled pork sandwich.”
“Is that why you’ve been hanging around my place every day for two weeks?” Tom asked, trying to get Alice’s attention again. “The pulled pork?”
“And the good feeling. I never ignore my gut feelings,” she replied, glancing over her shoulder at Tom.
“Remind me to thank your gut,” Tom said with an easy smile as he needlessly wiped the counter next to where we sat. I took Alice’s suggestion and ordered the pulled pork, forcing Tom to reluctantly leave us to place my order with the kitchen. I took a sip of my iced coffee, thinking about my own unfortunate gut feelings.
I’d had a gut feeling that it was okay to let James sweep me off my feet, and a gut feeling that I should marry him, even though I hardly knew him. He seemed mysterious and knowledgeable, and it made sense that he was so in control, because he was older and knew so much more about the world. And now I was having gut feelings all over again; like the impulse to give Edward a ride home, the impulse to ask him to lunch at my house, the need to hire him as my attorney.
And I thought about how angry Jake had been, how I couldn’t explain anything to him, because it meant that I’d tear our relationship apart… tear apart the only good relationship I’d ever had.
“My gut feelings are never right,” I mumbled into my coffee.
“You should have more faith in your gut.”
“Nope, it has a track record,” I sighed.
“Well, I won’t argue, since we’ve just met. But I asked you here because of another gut feeling of mine. Or maybe two,” she giggled, practically bouncing on her seat like a little kid. I could see why she’d gotten along with Ness so well.
“Carlisle said it was something about your business?”
Alice laughed took a little sip of her iced tea before replying. “And your daughter.”
“Nessie?”
“Hear me out before you say no, okay? Do you know AC Nation?”
“The fashion line? Of course. They’re in all the department stores here in Philly. But I never noticed them in Seattle.”
“We haven’t broken into that market yet. Damned grunge, you’d think it would have faded after twenty years.”
“We, as in you?”
“AC stands for Alice Cullen, and Nation, because it’s my own little world.”
“Wow, I didn’t know.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Alice looked younger than me and she had her own clothing line. I’d just seen pictures in one of those tabloid magazines of Lady Gaga and Dakota Fanning at an AC Nation event in the Hamptons. The Cullens must have been some kind of super family: a doctor, a pro football player, and the head of a fashion label. I wondered what Esme did; she probably leapt small buildings in a single bound.
Alice shrugged. “It was one of my gut feelings. Unfortunately, it came when I was seventeen, and my dad didn’t share my instincts. I was a year away from getting anything from my trust. If it wasn’t for Edward, I never would have gotten it off the ground.”
“Edward?”
“You know, my cousin, Edward.” Alice’s eyes sparkled mischievously.
“Wait, how old was he then? Did he, uh, have trust money of his own to give you, or something?”
“He was twenty-two, I think. The money came from selling his house.”
“He was selling a house at twenty-two?” What kind of twenty-two year old dabbled in real estate?
“His dad died when he was seventeen. He sold his family’s home.”
“What about his mom?” Edward had mentioned his mom yesterday. She liked orange water ice, but he hadn’t gone to Rita’s with her for twenty-five years. All of the sudden, I’d answered my own question. “She died twenty-five years ago?”
“He told you?” Alice looked surprised.
“My gut.”
“See, if you use it right, it works just fine.”
My pulled pork was delivered, and Alice was right, it looked delicious. But it was going to take more than a sandwich to distract me from finding out more about Edward.
“I was a baby when she died,” Alice continued. “So I don’t remember my aunt Elizabeth at all. She was my dad’s twin sister. They were super-close, from what I understand. When she died, everything changed, but like I said, I only know what people told me.”
Everything had changed. That meant Edward had changed, too. I wondered what he was like at seven years old, eating watermelon ice with his mom.
“Suddenly we’re talking about my cousin,” Alice said, raising her eyebrows.
“You brought him up, Alice.”
“You two looked cozy yesterday in the kitchen when I came in,” Alice said in an off-handed way, as she acted very interested in the ice in her empty glass.
“I have a boyfriend.” Someone besides Jake needed to start remembering that.
“You mentioned that. Sorry. I just liked the way you guys looked together. My gut, you know. It never stops. I want Edward to be happy.”
I wanted that too, I guess. Why else would I have given him that prescription? I’d slipped and called it ‘our list’ yesterday. And last night, as I drove him home, he’d said it too. Our list. And when he was bopping his head and laughing along with Ness, and as he ate melting water ice, he was happy. I liked Edward happy, way too much for my own good.
“I’m meeting him in a little while, actually,” Alice continued.
“Yeah?” I was immediately jealous. I wanted to be there.
“Once a month I lend a little help with his non-profit.”
“He has a non-profit?” There my mystery man went, leaping tall buildings, like the rest of his family.
“Of course, I don’t know anything about law, but those kids always need socks and underwear.”
“You’re being cryptic, Alice.”
“I just wanted to make you ask,” Alice said, smiling slyly.
“Oh Alice,” I began in a mockingly desperate voice, “would you please tell me more about your cousin’s non-profit?”
We both laughed a little, and Tom watched Alice longingly. If she noticed, she didn’t let on for a second.
“Okay, since you begged,” Alice tittered. “It’s called Project Legal Advocacy: Homeless Teens.”
“He works with homeless kids?”
“Uh huh. So many kids on the streets don’t know their rights, and so many are afraid of the law, for good reason, I guess. I hear the foster care system in this city can be a nightmare. So, Edward’s got this huge group of lawyers, and they’re young and approachable, and understand where these kids are coming from. They don’t force them to do anything, instead they empower them and give them the tools so that they can find a good home, or prosecute abusers, or just avoid arrest or something. I can’t do any of that, though, so I just show up with socks and underwear.”
“Wow.”
I thought about the way Edward had been dressed yesterday, and the swearing and the loud music and I could see how a teenager would feel like they could talk to him. There was a rebellious kid just underneath the surface of the suit-wearing guy I’d met in the fancy office today. That guy that had made a point of holding my hand.
“Wow,” I repeated again.
“It’s just socks and underwear,” Alice said, shaking her head.
“I wasn’t wowing you.”
“I know,” she grinned. “He’s really a good guy. He’s just had a tough life.”
I pictured the Cullen’s house and yard, and their bidet, for heaven’s sake. If that was hard, well… “We have different ideas about hard, I think.”
“He’s not my brother, he’s my cousin. We lived about three miles apart growing up, but if you know Philly at all, you know that three miles can make a huge difference. And well, he didn’t really live with his dad at all for almost five years. No one really knew, except Edward, and his dad of course, when he wasn’t drunk out of his mind. His dad just let him go. Edward spent most of his time on his own, taking care of himself.
“No one stepped in. Carlisle beats himself up over it to this day. But we didn’t know, and I guess it wasn’t polite to ask.”
“He lived on the street? And you didn’t know?”
“Edward’s smart, he made it so that we didn’t guess. So now, I guess he just wants to make sure those kids know their options.”
“How does he have the time for all that?”
“Have you met him? He doesn’t stop, or sleep, really.”
“Yeah, I guess I figured that out.”
“But I didn’t bring you here to talk about Edward. Not only about Edward, anyway.”
As if I could think about anything else at this point. “Right, business,” I said, trying to make the mental jump.
Alice took my hands in hers and looked right into my eyes. She was excited, and seemed a little breathless all of the sudden. “I want to go into business with Nessie,” she said, her voice a little shaky.
“What? Vanessa? Are you kidding?” I thought about the pink flamingo capris Nessie paired with a tie-dyed tank top this morning. Did Alice want an example of what not to do in fashion?
“I’ve been thinking about a kid’s line for a while, but the inspiration never struck, you know? But when I met Nessie… if I could just infuse her spunk into the clothing, there’s no way it wouldn’t be successful.”
“I don’t get it.” Seriously, she was worse than Jake at color coordinating.
“I know that what she was wearing yesterday didn’t match in the more traditional sense of the word, but that’s why I think it would really work. There was something that pulled that look together, and I’d just have to refine it a little. Parents wouldn’t understand, which would make kids like it more, and well, the parents would buy it anyway because it’s well-made, by me.”
“Really?”
“Nessie has flare, and that flare inspires me. I just want to sit down with her a little here and there. Maybe we could color and draw together, I could go through her closet to see what she likes. And then, once I have some samples, then she could really go to town, picking things, telling me how they should be altered…”
“You got all of this from a polka-dotted tunic and plaid shorts?”
“And my gut, and her spirit. I was serious yesterday: if she were like twenty years older, she’d be my new best friend. But I’ll totally settle on befriending her mom.”
“I don’t know, Alice, about the Nessie part, anyway. I already think of you as a friend.”
“I’d pay her, of course.”
“I don’t --”
“And Ness and I could get together during times when you needed a break. It would be like paid babysitting.”
“You’re making it hard to say no.”
“Can we just try it once? Once you saw how much fun it would be for her, then you could say yes.”
“I’d have to ask Nessie first.”
“That’s going to mean yes!”
“She can be… challenging, Alice. She’s just four. I think there’s a reason four year olds don’t design clothing.”
“Nessie’s totally going to say yes. When can we start?”
“I tell you what, we’re having some people over for the Phillies versus Mariner’s game on Saturday. My neighbors and, um, Edward are com --”
“Whoa there, Bella, slow down. You’re having Edward over? My cousin, Edward? Really?” Alice actually bounced off her seat this time, so that she was standing right in front of me, her face just inches from mine. She had very minty breath.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded. “I didn’t see that coming at all!”
“I don’t know.” It was the best I could come up with. The way I felt about Edward was so confusing, that it was easier to say nothing. Of course, I knew that keeping it all inside was messing with my own mental health, but I couldn’t think of a better solution.
“So, Saturday?”
“Are you free? You and Nessie can have your trial run, or play date, or whatever.” I figured the more witnesses there were, the less likely I was to do anything stupid. Because after everything Alice told me about Edward, my feelings for him were careening into dangerous territory. It wasn’t just how he looked, or how I felt in his presence; it was him. I was starting to like him. I was in trouble.
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Thank you, Bella! I’ll get everything together. What time?”
“About noon?”
“Awesome!” Alice glanced at her watch and then grabbed the check off the counter. “I’ve got to get back to the office. I can’t wait to see Little—I mean Ness, again. See you Saturday!” Alice gave me a quick hug, and practically danced towards the register.
“Alice!”
She spun around and looked at me quizzically, a huge smile still plastered on her face.
“Don’t you need my address?”
“Oh, right, your address. Of course,” Alice said, rolling her eyes and trudging back in my direction. “Here’s my card, send me an email, okay?”
“Sure. See you Saturday.”
xXxXx
Later that night, after Ness was asleep, and while Jake was still downstairs watching some reality show about custom choppers, or monster trucks, or I don’t even know what, I sat up in my office in front of the computer screen.
I emailed Alice my address. It took about two minutes.
I quickly navigated from my email to Google, and before I could stop myself, I typed his name in the little search window.
Edward Masen
But the saner portion of my brain intervened before I could hit the search key.
If Edward were just my patient, I’d never do this, unless he told me I could. I’d die a thousand deaths before asking Edward if I could Google him.
But it’s the first thing I should have done when looking for a lawyer.
And he shouldn’t be your lawyer, that sane portion of my brain chimed in again. Unfortunately, that sane voice had become smaller and smaller as the day wore into night. I didn’t want to lose Edward; I needed his legal advice and I felt more and more like I needed the feeling I had when I was with him. And I wanted to know more about him.
Without another thought, I hit the search key.
Holy mother of god.
I slammed my laptop shut, and my foot bounced excitedly on the floor, my chest tingled, and I felt slightly flushed all over. All the usually signs of Edward overload were there, even though he was nowhere near. Apparently, his virtual presence was just as overwhelming.
Of course it was. He was a legal rock star. Holy crap.
I couldn’t keep the smile from my face as I opened the laptop and waited for the display to come back to life.
His firm’s website was first on the list of search results, of course. When I clicked on the link, a long list of lawyers and their headshots came up. Most of the lawyers at Edward’s firm were old men with bad skin and hairpieces, or worse, they just looked smarmy. Edward stood out in that smog like a ray of golden sunshine. Even though he was better looking than anyone I’d seen on T.V., he looked self-conscious in the picture, shyly confident, if that was even possible.
I tried to ignore the little twinge between my legs, and went back to the list of search results.
Next was PLAHT’s website. Edward’s non-profit was amazing. He had over twenty-five lawyers volunteering their services in Philadelphia alone, and they were expanding into New Jersey and Delaware. They’d conducted over two hundred legal clinics in the last year, and had twenty different locations in the city where teens could seek them out. There were links for shelters, and food pantries, and emergency housing and educational services.
Back on Google, I read about how Edward was one of the top one hundred lawyers in the country, and then there were interviews with magazines and newspapers and all of the different awards he’d won. The blog posts started on the second page: the cases he’d won, the testimonials from satisfied clients, and the warnings for people that might have to face off against him in court.
The three pictures listed under ‘images’ made me get up and close the office door. He was too sexy for my own good. There was his headshot, and there was a picture of him in a suit attending the symphony. But it was the last picture that took my breath away; it was the best and the worst all rolled into one. He was wearing a tux, his hair a perpetual mess and smiling like he meant it, and the lights around him made his bright green eyes sparkle. Damn, he looked good in a tux. But, next to him was the leggy blonde bitch all dolled up in a red floor length gown, holding his hand. I could handle seeing her with Edward, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out they’d been together. That wasn’t it. It was the way she was looking at him. She was completely and utterly in love, and I couldn’t blame her.
I quickly navigated from images to videos, unable to stomach gazing at Tanya and Edward together for more than a few seconds. There he was again, giving a guest lecture at Penn entitled, ‘Tort law and vicarious liability: how it pertains to child custody’.
I impatiently waited the ten seconds for the video to load, and shivered a little as his voice filled my home office. Even over the tinny computer speakers it had that velvety quality to it, and it was soothing and electrifying all at once. He was impassioned and articulate, and swore like a sailor. The students on the video loved it, and laughed, and Edward’s eyes sparkled with their applause. He gave that cute half-smile and raked a hand through his hair.
But then he continued, all serious, in a much lower voice. I watched his hands clench the lectern, the same hands that clenched my hips yesterday, the same fingers that rubbed little circles on my palm right in front of Jake. I leaned in to listen, watching his lips closely, breathing hard, my hand moving from the table to the juncture of my thighs. This amazing man might be interested in me. Unbelievable. I watched his lips as I clenched my thighs together, pressing my fingers against myself. I watched his fingers curl, as I curled my own, and pressed through the denim of my jeans.
I heard heavy steps on the stairs, and slammed the laptop shut, like I was a kid caught with my dad’s Playboy. But it was much worse than that; I was a mom lusting after her lawyer. Or maybe I was just doing research on my lawyer. Oh shit. I didn’t know what I was doing.
“Hey Bells, I’m going to bed,” Jake called through the closed door.
“I’ll be up in a couple minutes Jake. There’s something I’ve got to finish in here.”
“Okay, baby. See you in a few.”
It was only after I heard the bedroom door shut, that I opened the laptop again.
xXxXx
The week passed in suspended animation. Everything was unreal and blurry, just a way to pass the time between the present and Saturday. It didn’t matter that it was wrong to feel that way. It didn’t matter that I had a daughter and a boyfriend. I didn’t ignore them, I smiled at the right times, they were well fed and loved, if somewhat absently.
I wondered if he liked me when I was falling asleep, and when I sat down to check my emails, and when I was cooking. Especially when I was cooking. My family had inadvertently become an Edward test kitchen. I dreamed about all sorts of ways to make vegetables indulgent, to barbecue beans, to make the best and most inconspicuous vegetarian lunch possible. In the past I was always trying to get Ness and Jake to eat healthier, so it was only mildly suspicious, I think.
Tuesday
I thought about Edward.
Rosalie called to say that Emmett had been a profound idiot. Those hadn’t been her exact words; she’d been a bit more colorful with her description. I couldn’t help telling her, “I told you so.”
Wednesday
I thought about Edward.
Rosalie called to say that Emmett sent flowers to her at work. It made her angry, because he was such a profound idiot, (again, not her exact words), and she was afraid they’d make her look girly and weak in front of the interns. I’d worked with Rosalie for four years at CHOP. There was no way those interns would ever label her as weak.
Thursday
I woke with a desperate and unrealistic hope that Edward would be at the Cullen’s for dinner that night. Of course, there was no way I was asking Carlisle. It was all I could do to keep a straight face Monday morning when we’d discussed Edward’s case. After my visit to Edward’s office, my talk with Alice and my Google search, I simply avoided speaking Edward’s name out loud, because it did things to my body that I wasn’t sure I could hide.
Anyway, I had more immediate concerns. Jake was missing his night out with the guys for this dinner, and he wasn’t exactly pleased about it. And Esme had specifically asked for Nessie to come, but that late in the evening Nessie was like dynamite, you had to handle her with care or she just might explode.
I swung home after work, and Jake and Ness hopped into the car.
“Mama, I made a picture for the nighttime party!” Ness cheered, waving a big piece of paper with misshapen blue circles drawn on it. “It for Essmee!”
“Baby, that’s so pretty. I’m sure Esme will love it.”
“And Jake bringed the cookies.”
I’d made them with Ness the night before: walnut chocolate chip, with orange zest. Yes, real orange flavoring, nothing artificial. I baked them in Edward’s test kitchen, I wasn’t proud.
“You think they’ll have the game on?” Jake asked, kissing my cheek and settling himself into the car.
“I doubt it.”
“Just your boss and his wife?”
“I think so,” I said pulling onto the winding green drive that flanked the river. My stomach was full of butterflies. Edward might be there. It wasn’t out of the question. I searched my mind for something to talk to Jake about as I drove. Surely, something must have happened at work. Yeah, I’d taken ten minutes at lunch to Photoshop Tanya out of the picture of Edward in the tux. I decided not to talk and turned up the radio, instead.
Jake whistled appreciatively as we pulled up to the Cullen’s. I knew what he meant. Jake’s old house was about the size of their garage, and the house I grew up in wasn’t much bigger.
Esme and Carlisle greeted us at the door.
“You’re indulging us again, Dr. Swan. Thank you.” Carlisle patted me on the shoulder. I’d asked him to call me Bella countless times, but he just seemed to like the formality of Dr. Swan better.
“Bella, it’s a pleasure,” Esme said, kissing me lightly on the cheek.
“Essmee!” Ness cheered, charging forward and hugging my boss’ wife around the knees.
“Oh my! Hello Vanessa,” Esme laughed, bracing herself against the wall so that she didn’t get toppled over. “She’s not shy, is she, Bella?”
“Not even close. And this is my boyfriend, Jacob Black.”
“Lovely to meet you, Jacob,” Esme said, holding out her hand to Jake, nearly falling over after letting go of the wall. Carlisle shook Jacob’s hand, but his eyes were on my daughter.
“Ness, let go of Mrs. Cullen,” I scolded
“I don’t want to!”
Esme smiled down at Ness, obviously more charmed than bothered. Ness had a way with people; she threw herself at them. If they didn’t like it at first, she kept trying until they did. Luckily, it seemed she’d already won over Esme.
Before we could even begin to pry Nessie’s arms from Esme’s legs, we heard a car turning up the drive, and I spun around to see a large black Jeep stopping in front of the garage. My heart started pounding.
“Who that?” Ness asked.
“You met him Sunday, Ness,” Esme said, picking my daughter up in her arms.
“Ewoord?” Ness asked. Like mother like daughter, I tell you.
“Hey, mom!” a familiar voice called as the door of the Jeep swung open. It was Emmett.
Sigh.
“And check it out, it’s the pret --” but Emmett stopped himself. “It’s Bella.” His blue eyes flickered over me quickly, before resting on Jake.
“Emmett, you should have called. We have company,” Esme scolded as Emmett stooped to kiss her on the cheek.
“Are you kicking me out of my childhood home, mom?”
“I’ll go set another place,” Carlisle offered. “We have plenty, even for Emmett. Esme made so much gazpacho, we could fill the koi pond with it.”
I grabbed Jake’s elbow. He had an unusually strong aversion to cold soup, and I silently prayed he wouldn’t say anything.
“Cold soup? Seriously, that shit’s just not right,” Emmett chuckled.
“Emmett!” Esme warned, “Language. There are children present.”
“Like me!” Nessie said.
Jake laughed and smirked in my direction, obviously feeling vindicated about our ongoing cold soup debate.
“You remember Nessie, don’t you Emmett?”
Nessie giggled, and Emmett held out his hand to her. When she grabbed it, he gave it an exaggerated shake, so Ness and Esme were both rattled. Ness laughed so hard that Esme had to struggle not to drop her.
“And this is Jacob Black, Bella’s boyfriend. Jacob, my son, Emmett.”
Emmett smiled and shook Jacob’s hand, but I noticed him give Jacob a careful once over. “Bella’s boyfriend, huh? Who knew?”
“Yep, she’s kept me around for a few years now,” Jacob replied tightening his grip. I tried not to roll my eyes, I’m sure Emmett could have broken Jake’s hand without even trying.
“Lucky you,” Emmett replied with a wink.
Esme ignored the wink and lead us all inside towards the dining room.
“And how was practice today, dear?”
“Long, hot, the same as every other day. We got this guy out of Ohio this year, though. Kid’s gonna be a superstar. I haven’t seen someone handle the ball like that since Long, two seasons ago.”
“Dude,” Jake stopped in mid-step. “You’re Cullen, Eagles, number ninety-nine, middle linebacker. You’ve got to be f-ing kidding.” Emmett clapped Jake on the back, his dimples were on full display as he basked in Jake’s admiration and chuckled a little at Jake’s use of the word ‘f’ing’.
“Yep, that’s me.”
“Who’s this new kid?” Jake asked, and the two of them were off, lost in a world of players and statistics that I didn’t care to follow at all.
We were halfway through dinner when we heard another car pull up in the drive. My heart leapt into my throat. I know, it was ridiculous. It could have been anyone.
“Hello?” a woman’s voice called from the front door. It wasn’t Edward. I sighed and took another bite of my grilled fish.
“Hey, Katie, we’re in here,” Emmett called.
“I wish you children would call first,” Esme grumbled. “I’m so sorry for the interruption, Bella.”
“You’re just too inviting, mom. We all know how bad you want us back here,” Emmett said, his mouth half full of food.
“With grandchildren. You always forget that part.”
“You don’t have a baby?” Ness asked Emmett.
“Not yet, kid. I’m working on it. I’ve got to find the mommy first.”
“I can find you a lady,” Ness offered. “I know this many ladies.” Ness held up her two hands, her ten little fingers spread wide.
Everybody laughed and Emmett’s eyes flashed to meet mine, before he looked back down at Ness. “It’s a deal kid. I think you might have an in with a lady I’d like to get to know.” Poor Rosalie.
Emmett’s phone started buzzing in his pocket, and he pulled it out to check the caller.
“Emmett, manners, please.” It seemed like Esme was forever scolding him, like he was still a little boy.
“Sorry, mom, I’ve got to take this. Excuse me, guys. Hey, Katie,” Emmett said, standing to his feet, and kissing a pretty brunette in overalls on the cheek before leaving the room.
It turns out Katie was there to return a claw foot bathtub she used for a camel at a party. It was hard to follow. I was trying to explain to Ness why her grilled fish wouldn’t swim when she dunked it in her gazpacho, without making her cry. Jake offered to help Carlisle pull the tub off the back of her pickup truck and stow it in some shed.
“Mama,” Ness whispered. She started squirming desperately in her seat. “I need to tell you a secret,” she hissed.
“Excuse us,” I said to Esme and Katie. “We’ve got an urgent bathroom secret.”
Ness jumped up from her chair, and we both hightailed it down the hall to the bathroom. We were in there for a little while because, this time, I let her use the bidet. It was almost eight o’clock, and all the cherry ice in the world wouldn’t save us from a tantrum at this hour. I held Nessie’s hand, as she gushed about the wonders of the bidet and we walked back towards the dining room. As we got closer, we could hear Esme and Katie talking near the front door.
“I just feel so bad, Aunt Esme. That’s why I didn’t come, it didn’t seem right.”
“You’re always welcome, dear. And don’t apologize, you did nothing wrong.”
“Mom’s just so protective of us, you know?”
“But they’re both adults, and they shouldn’t be lectured like children. This is between the two of them.”
“She’s staying with me tonight. She doesn’t want to be alone at the condo.”
“Alone? Where’s Edward?”
I tugged on Nessie’s hand and motioned for her to be quiet. She smiled and put her hand over her mouth, happy to be in on the conspiracy.
“He gave it to her. She got the papers in the mail today. But I’m pretty sure she tore them up. I don’t know, Esme. Papers, it all seemed so final.”
“Perhaps it is, Katrina.”
“I should go, aunt Esme. She’s expecting me.”
“Give her my best. You girls are like family to me. I don’t like to see any of you hurt.”
I heard two sets of footsteps walk out the front door.
“What’s up doc?” I jumped a little and pulled Nessie into my arms as I turned to see Emmett smiling at me from the kitchen.
“Oh my god, you scared me!”
“I didn’t mean to spy, Bella,” Emmet said, laughing a little.
“We were sneaking,” Ness giggled.
“I guess we all were. I won’t tell my mom and dad, if you don’t. Do we have a deal, kid?”
“Deal,” Nessie agreed with Emmett, giving him the thumbs up.
Emmett raised an eyebrow, and for a fleeting second, I could see something of Edward in him. “That’s a pretty weak deal, kid. Here, try this.” Emmett knelt down and proceeded to show Ness how to give a fist bump.
“Boom!” she shouted, pounding her little fist against his. “Deal!”
“Okay, kid, we got a deal,” Emmett laughed, glancing up at me.
“Deal,” I silently mouthed, and Emmett winked, of course.
“Well, it looks like dinner ended of its own accord. Vanessa, would you like to help me get dessert and coffee started in the kitchen?” Esme asked, returning from the front of the house.
“I don’t like coffee. I like juice, and cow milk, and Co-a Cola. Mama not likes it when I drink Co-a Cola. Do you have Co-a Cola, Essmee?”
Esme took Ness’ hand, and shook her head at me, letting me know she had no plans of giving Ness cola.
“Dude, she loves your kid,” Emmett said, motioning towards the sitting room. “But that’s mom, she was never satisfied with just two. She’d take in every kid that came by, if she could.”
I felt awkward and I couldn’t figure out what to say as I sat down on an overstuffed chair. Emmett had just caught me spying on his mom. And Edward gave Tanya his condo, and Esme thought of Tanya as family. I smiled at Emmett stiffly and bit my bottom lip. Edward was staying at Emmett’s house. It would be so easy to ask him something, anything. What would I ask? Was he eating? Was he happy? Did he mention the water ice? Did he say anything about me?
I could hear Jake and Carlisle come in through the back door. I heard Emmett settle into a seat on the other side of the room.
“So, uh, Bella. I’m just gonna ask. Did your friend Rose say anything about me?”
I laughed a little and looked away, thankful that he beat me to the question.
“She said you’re a profound idiot, but she used more, um, glowing terms.”
“Damn,” he muttered under his breath. “Did she get the flowers?” Emmett tapped his foot nervously on the carpet, and wrung his hands together. It was the most insecure I’d ever seen him.
“Yep, she told me about them last night.”
“What about the ones today?”
“You sent her more flowers?”
“She didn’t say anything, then?”
“I haven’t talked to her today. Her shift doesn’t end until nine tomorrow morning.” Flowers two days in a row. She’d be fuming.
“I sent roses. It seemed… logical.”
“She’s not interested, Emmett.” It was best to tell him straight, I figured, before he put in any more unnecessary effort into it.
“She was at first. Interested. I could tell.”
“Until she realized you just wanted her for another notch in on your bedpost. You hit on me, and you had another date. Rose isn’t going to let someone play around with her like that.”
“No games. Gotcha. What else?”
“Maybe you should just leave her alone, Emmett. I think she’s been pretty clear.”
“I know I should leave her alone. But I don’t want to. There’s something about her that’s different.” He looked into my eyes, and he seemed completely sincere. I knew how he felt.
“Maybe it was the turtle pee?” I joked.
“Maybe, my Jeep’s smelled like Rose and turtle pee all week. I’ve got to get that shit detailed.”
“It still smells like Rose?”
“Maybe I’m just imagining that part. But the stench of piss is definitely still present.” Emmett smiled a little, but he’d lost that easy-going air, and for once, he seemed at a loss for what to say next.
“You should do something that she hasn’t seen a dozen times before. Guys hit on her all the time. Do something that shows you think she’s different. And she thinks the flowers at work make her look weak.”
I was an idiot. But, at least Rose and Emmett had a shot; there were no kids or boyfriends involved. I’d tell her what I did when we met for drinks tomorrow. She was probably going to kill me.
“Does Edward know about Jake?”
I jumped where I sat, and my heart started hammering in my chest. “What?”
“Edward, my cousin.”
“I know who he is,” I managed.
“Does he know you have a boyfriend?”
I tried my best not to seem frantic, and I had a hard time looking Emmett in the eye. “Of course. He met him.”
“Really?” Emmett leaned towards me, his head tilted to the side.
“Yes. Why?”
Emmett shook his head. “No reason, I guess.”
“Why would you ask that?”
We were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming in our direction.
“Vanessa, its cookie time!” Esme called out. Esme peaked her head around the corner, and her eyes darted between Emmett and I.
“I came to get Nessie. We settled on hot chocolate.”
“She’s not here, Esme. I thought she was in the kitchen with you.”
“I was setting up the coffee maker, and she said she was coming in here to sit with her mama.”
The bidet. A vision of Ness drowned in the bathroom flashed before my eyes. Without another word I walked quickly to the bathroom, hoping I’d just see her playing in the water spray. But she wasn’t there.
“Ness? Nessie! Vanessa! Where are you?” I called, walking through the house.
“She couldn’t have gotten far, Bella,” Esme assured me.
I knew Nessie a little better than that, though. It had been five minutes; she could be anywhere.
“Jake, could you look outside?” I asked as Jake came running towards me. I was trying my best to sound calm, but Jake jumped right into action. He ran towards the back door.
“She couldn’t have opened the doors, could she?” Esme asked, beginning to look truly concerned.
“I’m sure she could, Esme.”
“For goodness sakes, Emmett, get your father and look outside too, please. I’ll scour the first floor, and Bella, why don’t you search upstairs?”
I ran up the stairs, and rushed down the hall, only barely aware of all the bedrooms and bathrooms I was searching through. But Ness wasn’t there. There was another set of stairs at the end of the hall, and I ran up to the third floor. The hallway was smaller, the ceiling was lower, and the air was stale and warm. I guessed they didn’t use this floor much. I spotted a dim light underneath one of the doors at the end of the hall.
“Ness? Nessie!” There was no answer, but I thought I heard a small rustling sound, and I started running down the hall. “Nessie!”
Black and white family photos flashed past me as I ran down the long hall. I vaguely saw Emmett and Alice as children, little blonde girls, big family picnics, Carlisle and Esme on their wedding day. I pushed open the door to find a neat and impersonal bedroom, the walls lined with shelves of textbooks. It seemed like something between a guest room and a small college library.
I heard the rustling coming from the other side of the bed, and as I took a few steps into the room, there was Ness, on the floor, with pictures and papers spread out in messy piles all around her.
“Vanessa! Why didn’t you come when I called you?”
“It’s Ewoord, mama. Look, it’s Ewoord when he was little.”
“What?” I asked, settling down on the ground next to her and pulling her into my arms. I hated to think that it was so easy to lose track of her, especially with James around.
Ness handed me a photo. “Ewoord, right?” she asked.
He was probably sixteen or seventeen. His hair was shaved so he had an almost-Mohawk going on, and he had on a black concert T, and patched cutoffs, and black combat boots. He had a lip piercing and he was holding a skateboard, sitting next to another kid with a bike and a big black dog.
“Right, mama?”
“Yep, Ness, that’s him. But this isn’t our stuff. We have to put this back. Where’d you get all this?”
Ness pointed to a big empty box halfway under the bed.
“You’re going to help me clean this up, young lady. Then we’re going to apologize to Esme, for scaring her. You can’t run away like that. Do you hear me?”
“Sorry, mama.”
“I can’t lose you, baby.”
We started picking up the pictures together, and I couldn’t help glancing at each one as I placed it into the box. There was a picture of Edward in a cap and gown receiving his diploma. He was older, and his Mohawk was gone, and there was something else gone in that picture, something in his eyes.
And then I picked up one of a little boy with blonde hair and grayish green eyes. He was hanging onto a woman’s skirt, gazing up at her with his head arched way back. She was so pretty; she looked just like him.
“Bella? Did you find her?” Esme rushed into the room.
“I should have come down right away to tell you. I was just trying to clean up Nessie’s mess here. I’m so sorry about this, Esme.”
I nodded at Ness.
“I sorry,” Ness whined. “It’s Ewoord!” Ness held up a photo of Edward and Alice posed in front of a store window. His hands were buried in the pockets of his jeans, and Alice had both of her arms around his waste. He was smiling proudly at her.
“It is, Nessie. And that’s Alice’s first shop. That was taken just before the two of them moved out. The house was so quiet after they were gone.”
“Edward lived here?”
“For a few years, while he completed his undergraduate degree. Not long enough for my taste. I hated to think of him all alone.” Esme seemed to collapse on the narrow twin bed, and glanced down at the pictures in Nessie’s hands.
“He’s like a son to me, but he never was,” she murmured.
“Ewoord’s pretty,” Ness giggled, waving a picture of Edward with his arm around Emmett in his college football uniform.
“It sounds like someone has a little crush on my nephew,” Esme laughed, picking Ness up off the floor.
Like mother like daughter, Mrs. C. You have no idea.
Friday
I couldn’t concentrate. I was floored that Edward would be at my house tomorrow. And maybe he liked me.
Rosalie texted to cancel our girls’ night out. I called her back, but she didn’t pick up. I wanted to kick her and kiss her all at the same time. I desperately needed someone to talk to, but I was scared to death to hear what would come pouring out of my mouth once I said his name. And I wasn’t ready to hear what Rosalie would say.
Saturday
To be continued…
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