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Memoirs of a Monster	By : Luv Category: M through R > The Phantom of the Opera > Het Views: 2994 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Whispered touches and silent adorations passed between we two as our bodies came to rest on the bed, I beneath, she resting lightly on my chest, clinging to me as if her very life depended on it. Again I was in disbelief at how indifferent she was to my hideous face, her kisses were randomly placed, some against the twisted flesh, some on my lips, others against my unmarred cheek, it seemed to make no matter to her, and I felt my heart swell and glow with the shower of affection and acceptance. However inept I may prove to be at what was about to occur, I vowed that I would do my all to properly serve her. Never before had I felt more of a man than at that moment.

But when she broke off, uncertainty filling her eyes and a tremor of hesitance stopping her actions, I saw all too well the face from the huddled form beneath the manger, and I knew that the memory of Lachenel had come back to her. Drunk as I was with her kisses, I had nearly forgotten the plain fact that Madeleine, unlike myself, was not a stranger to the act we were attempting. Her only experience had been at the hands of an intoxicated rapist and his accomplices, her modesty and innocence robbed of her by force in a dark musty stall on a lonesome night. I realized the gravity of my responsibility and suddenly felt overwhelmed.

“We do not have to,” I spoke softly, realizing for the first time that my body was in direct contradiction to my words. I felt a wave of shame at the prominent evidence of my readiness for her, and quickly repositioned myself, pushing her from me and placing her gently by my side on the bed. She looked up at me with no readable trace of emotion, her eyes looking into mine, but her thoughts elsewhere. I wanted so badly to say something to bring her back to me, something to rid her poor heart of the horror that had been bestowed upon it that dreadful night, but I found myself unable to do so. All I could do, being a lustful and long deprived soul, was notice every single thing about her that made my body teem with desire.

Her breasts were small perfect mounds beneath the thin fabric of my own shirt, and as they brushed against my chest I could feel the heavenly tautness of her nipples. I licked my lips subconsciously, imagining what it would be like to kiss the delicate flesh of her breasts, to take one into my mouth and suckle it. Warmth crept through my veins, making my clothing seem suddenly too tight and smothering. If I could have just that, I thought. If I could taste one perfect breast, nurse it as I lay against her warm body, that would be enough.

As though reading my thoughts, Maddy leaned up and kissed my cheek. “It’s alright,” she whispered. “Touch me.” She took my hand, so much larger than her own, and placed it with great care over the slight swell of her breast. On contact, I closed my eyes and released a silent sigh. She was so warm, so soft, and so responsive. Scared to break the spell between us, my hand lay heavily, unmoving against the mound, and my eyes remained closed. How could I have been so full of avarice as to hope for more than this? For this was surely more than I could ever hope for in a lifetime. In my blindness, in my state of unimaginable bliss, I felt her lips against mine and I answered her, as gently as I could, so as not to ruin the dream.

“Erik, please,” came her voice in a desperate breath against my mouth. My first thought, when my eyes fluttered unwillingly open was that she was begging for me to cease. The dream had ended and we were both about to wake.

But no. I felt her hand guide mine, pushing away the fabric of the shirt, allowing her snow white flesh to be exposed. As though to protect it from harm, I quickly covered it with my hand, the rosy bud of the nipple teasing my palm. The feeling of the soft mound in my hand made me sigh again. How had this come to pass? I could not be worthy of such a thing as this! I looked down at the creature lying almost beneath me now, for our bodies had moved of their own accord, dictated by nature and not our conscious wills to this position. Her face left little doubt that whatever fears she had felt for those fleeting moments, when I was sure she was recalling the horrors of the unspeakable crimes committed against her, those fears were now gone.

Her eyes were closed, her sweet mouth slightly opened and her breath was quick and shallow with excitement. I watched her in amazement as my hand tenderly kneaded her small breast. Her little internal quakes and gasps were not lost on me; I felt them as surely as I did my own heartbeat. She was enjoying my touch, and I began to discover the true pleasure of lying with a woman.

As I have stated before, I have assuaged my carnal needs quite efficiently myself for some time. I needed little more than a memory or a dreamed up fantasy to achieve my end. Depending on my urgency, I could take as little or as much time as I required. As I do try to remain some semblance of a moral human, and not merely a disgusting lustful beast, I usually refrain from such undertakings unless the need is just too great to be ignored, at which time, a swift conclusion usually ensues. But one does get lonely, and there are times when I have lain in my bed with thoughts (much at it grieves me to admit, thoughts of one in particular) and committed the sin of self gratification at length, not merely as a means to and end, but as an indulgent behavior that I am ashamed to say I enjoyed very much. During these times, I took great measures to pleasure myself, to heighten the effects of my own stimulation. I allowed myself such perverse thoughts that I would feel a horrible sense of remorse at my climax, horrified at my own demented mind. It felt so good, there was no denying it, and though I would curse myself again and again while cleaning away the evidence of my crime, I was powerless to resist the temptation each time it arose.

But now I found something so much more fulfilling, for surely nothing can be as arousing and satisfying as pleasuring a woman. And oh, how I longed to give her what she so desperately deserved! As I watched her beautiful face, a cherub’s sweet countenance rapt with ecstasy, I felt a surge of purpose and determination unlike any I had ever felt before. I had taken lives from men three times her size, had stopped their very breath and watched as life struggled from their bodies. But never before had I felt the all encompassing power that now coursed through my body. I would love this woman, and I would make right all that had been done wrong to her, and in doing so, I would make right all that had been done wrong to me. Together we would find our solace, she and I. There would be no more darkness for us, not this night. I would play her fine body like an instrument and make it sing with my touch.

Three decades of want, three decades of denial, three decades of desire; they had left me dangerously passionate. Tonight, with my need growing by the second, the eternal fire within my raging body threatening to engulf us both, I would serve this woman and worship her like the goddess she was.

“Are you certain?” My blood pounded through my veins, my muscles quivered in anticipation. “Because I will not be able to stop once I begin.” I leveled her with my eyes, all the gravity of my intentions made clear. “You must tell me now if…”

My words were stopped as she placed a finger to my lips. “I am certain,” she said softly, “and I am yours.”

Mine.
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Memoirs of a Monster