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Wish I Could Love You Out Loud	By : MelissaMaxwell Category: > Robin Hood Views: 2039 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
A/N: Sorry, no smut here either! Maybe next chapter.

"Henry!" Henry pretended not to hear Mark calling after him.

"Henry! Slow down!" Henry disobeyed Matthew by going even faster.

"You owe us an explanation, Henry!" Mark said as he jogged up to him.

"I owe you naught." Henry said coldly, wiping away tears before the other boys could see them.

"You have to tell us the truth, Henry!" Matthew panted as he jogged up along side him.

"What's going on?" asked Mark. "Aubrey's not your brother? Why do you say he is?"

"She said you did something to him." said Matthew. "What was it?"

"Yes," said Mark. "What did you mean by you didn't do anything Aubrey didn't want?"

"Has it anything to do with the whip marks on your back?" asked Matthew!

"ALRIGHT!" Henry screamed, dropping the carcasses he had been carrying. "Alright, if it will shut you up, I'll tell you the truth. But you must swear by Our Lord and Lady never to breathe a word of it to anyone."

Matthew and Mark shared a look. "Tell us what it is first." said Matthew. "Then we'll decide if it's worth such an oath."

"Do I look that dense?" asked Henry.

"No, you don't." sighed Mark. "I'll swear the oath."

"Mark!" scolded Matthew.

"Can his crime be anything worse that what we've done?" asked Mark. "Whatever he's done to Aubrey can't be so bad. He not only walks, but he still regards Henry as a friend."

"Can't it wait until Luke gets here before we take any oaths?" asked Matthew.

"Oh, Matthew, just because we're triplets doesn't mean we have to agree on everything together." said Mark. "He'll take the oath anyway. He's so infatuated with Henry's sister that he'll agree to anything he suggests." Mark took two arrows from his quiver and formed a cross in his right hand. "I pledge by this cross, Our Lord and Our Lady, to keep Henry's secret."

"Very well." Matthew sighed and put a hand on the makeshift cross. "I swear it as well."

"Good." Henry took a deep breath and spoke. "Aubrey is not my brother, as you have guessed. But he is more than simply a friend. Aubrey is my lover." With those words, Henry felt like a weight had been removed from his shoulders. The shocked looks on Mark and Matthew's faces barely registered with him as he found the next words easier to say. "We've loved each other since we knew each other as children. It was more than a month ago that our love became less innocent, but all the more passionate. This is my crime. I fell in love."

"I-I don't understand!" said Mark. "You, Aubrey, *in* love, *passionately*?"

Henry nodded. "His family wanted him to marry. You can understand why he couldn't tell anybody about me. Well, the night before he was to marry this girl, Aubrey's brother and his would-be brothers-in-law plus a couple of our old chums walked in on me and Aubrey when we were...together." Henry blushed at the euphemism.

"Together?" said Mark. "As in, the two of you were...?" Mark made a circle with one hand and inserted his free index finger into it rhythmically. Matthew spatted the suggestive hands.

"The penalty for fornicating with one's sex is burning at the stake." Henry shrugged as he stated the bare, well-known fact. "We were literally caught with our pants down. I decided quickly to at the very least save Aubrey's life by claiming to rape him."

"But...you didn't?" said Matthew. "You're saying he *wanted* it?"

"Why would anyone want that?" asked Mark. "The thought makes my bum clench."

Henry nodded. "He suggested it." Henry sighed. "Every time I take Aubrey, it's with love." The confession hadn't filled Henry with the shame he half expected. If anything, it made him feel proud. "I would do anything for that man. I was willing to die for him, but he wasn't willing to live without me. He stole some files to get me out of my cell the night before I was to be executed. We ran away together and, well, you know the rest. You two and the priest who shrove me are the only ones who know the truth."

Mark and Matthew stood quietly, not knowing what exactly to say. "Can you say you haven't done worse?" Henry asked after a while. "My love for Aubrey neither breaks a man's leg nor picks his pocket."

"It-it goes against the Church." Mark finally said.

"So does playing ball on Sunday." said Henry. "But no one's getting burned alive for that. Take a good look at the Merry Men. Thieves and poachers every one of them. Plus a girl who dresses like a boy and a few witches."

"You'd best not be referring to our mum!" said Matthew.

"Agnes is a good woman." Henry conceded. "But, there are men who would accuse her of witchcraft because she makes soap and medicines. Rolly told me how she's wanted for witchcraft. And about how Little John saved your necks from the gallows. You know as well as I do how horrid it feels to be condemned to die unjustly, and how wonderful it feels to be saved from that fate."

"Yes," said Mark, reflexively rubbing his throat. "We know."

"You speak well, Henry." said Matthew. "As well as Aubrey."

"I suppose I've learned something from him." said Henry.

"We'll keep your secret, as we swore." said Matthew. "But, I for one can find no sound reason to condemn you."

"Matthew," said Mark. "You were alone with him a long time. Didn't he try to...well...you know...." He trailed off.

Henry sighed heavily. "Even if I did find Matthew attractive, my heart is true to Aubrey."

"You're saying you *don't* find me attractive?" Matthew sounded a bit offended.

"Do you *want* me to find you attractive?" Henry gave him a flirtatious smile. Mark laughed as Matthew blushed. "I would fain have spoken with Aubrey before telling you our secret, but, well, spilled milk."

"You should probably tell him when we get back." Mark suggested.

"I'll do that." said Henry. "Shall we go now?"

"Let's wait for Luke to get back." said Matthew.

"I have a feeling he'll take his own sweet time." said Mark, taking a seat on an overgrown stump. "While we wait, perhaps Henry would like to tell us how he and Aubrey got together. What makes you decide to take up with another man?"

"Oh, it's not a decision." said Henry, leaning back against a mossy oak. "Aubrey and I knew each other since we were little boys. But, suddenly, I found myself looking at him in another way. I wanted to touch his hair, to smell it. I found myself admiring his hands a lot. Those beautiful, clever hands...." Henry sighed, forgetting where he was for a moment.

"And you found him more appealing than a woman?" asked Matthew.

Henry smiled. "As much as I adore Aubrey's body, it's his soul I cherish most of all. The way he makes me feel whole."

"How do you go about telling another man you love him?" asked Mark.

"Well, with us, it started when we were gathering cornflowers one day...."
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"Aubrey, come back here!"

Aubrey kept walking. He heard his brother's footsteps follow him. He picked his basket up a little higher and went at a jogging pace, hoping to lose his brother among the trees. "Aubrey! Stop! Just turn around and look at me."

Aubrey turned back to his brother. "Andrew, I told you, I'm not...." Andrew swiftly drew a knife. Aubrey sighed heavily. "Andrew, you couldn't take me with a sword. What makes you think you can threaten me with a knife?"

"I'm not threatening *you* with the knife, brother." Andrew turned the blade so that it lay across the side of his own neck.

Aubrey dropped the basket in shock. "Andrew...." he gasped.”Whatever you're thinking...no! Don't do this!"

"I'll have you home by sundown, Aubrey." said Andrew, determinedly holding the blade to his own throat. "Or I will be dead by my own hand. This I swear to God, Aubrey!"

"By God, don't do it!" Aubrey screamed, trying and failing to keep the hysteria out of his voice. "Andrew, Andrew, listen! Think about this! You- you know God will never forgive you for taking your own life." Aubrey realized he had no right to speak of sin and damnation himself, but he was desperate to talk his brother out of this rash act.

"If I must deny myself Paradise to have you safe, Aubrey, so be it."

"Andrew, don't! Must our parents lose two sons? Think of Anna! Think of Phillipa! You're going to be a father, for God's sake!" Tears of desperation sprung to Aubrey's eyes.

"Both of us go home or neither of us goes." Andrew closed his eyes and dug the knife in just enough for a drop of blood to seep out.

"No!" shouted Aubrey. "I'll go! I'll go! Just don't hurt yourself."

Andrew smiled and sheathed his knife. "I knew you'd see reason, brother."

Aubrey took up one of the dropped chamomile blossoms and approached his brother. He squeezed the flower in his hand until it emitted a bit of clear oil. "Here." Aubrey applied it to the nick in Andrew's neck. "Chamomile oil keeps wounds from being infected." He put two fingers over the wound to staunch the faint bleeding. "Had you cut yourself just a bit further back, you would have cut a major artery and bled to death before you hit the ground."

"Where did you learn all of this?" Andrew asked. "Sword fighting, hedgemongery...what have you been doing out here these past days, Aubrey?"

"It doesn't matter, Andrew." Aubrey said coldly. "I'm going home with you. Just as you wanted."

"Oh, do be happy, Aubrey!" Andrew smiled as he led his brother away, the rest of the chamomile forgotten. "In a few months, you'll be an uncle! And Anna, she has missed you terribly! Mom will stop crying and all will be well again. We'll just-we'll just put all this behind us. Pretend it never happened. And don't forget about Jane! She's just the kind of girl to help you get through this. She'll help you heal, Aubrey. With luck, my child will have a little cousin before long."

Aubrey stayed silent all through the trek back to Nottingham.
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Luke was fairly skipping as he made his way back to where Henry and his brothers were waiting for him. The mossy forest floor felt like clouds beneath his feet. His body felt as if it were filled with bubbles and butterflies. He felt so warm. He felt like laughing and singing all at once. He came upon his brothers and a man he recently decided may as well be his brother. "Oh, hello." Luke said dazedly.

"Luke," said Matthew. "Henry has something important to tell you."

"Who? Oh, yes, Henry!" Luke quickly sobered up and turned to Henry. "Before you tell me anything, Henry, I have a very important question you need to answer."

"Fine. Ask." said Henry, ready for anything.

"What's Edith's favorite flower?"

Henry blinked twice. "I-I don't know! Why would I know that?"

"You're her brother." Luke pointed out. "You should know these things."

Henry gave an exasperated sigh. "Mark, what's Luke's favorite flower?"

Mark laughed. "Well, now, that depends. Do hops count as a flower?" Matthew chuckled.

"Say whatever you want, Mark." Luke said with a smile. "You can't bother me. I'm in love!"

"You're a fool." said Matthew. "And I'll say again, Henry has something he needs to tell you, but you must swear to secrecy first."

"Oh, I have something to tell Henry." Luke said, sobering again. "But he must promise not to hit me."

"Why would I want to hit you?" Henry asked.

"Well...you see, Henry, I sort of...um...Ikissedyoursister."

"You what?"

"I-I kissed your sister." Luke steeled himself for the punch he knew was coming.

Henry had enough self-control to keep his fists clenched to his sides. "She's only fourteen!" he shouted.

"She said she was fifteen!" Luke replied. "And I'm barely seventeen myself."

"Edith won't be fifteen for three more days." Henry sighed, remembering he wouldn't be there for his sister's birthday.

"Really?" said Luke. "I should get her a present then. Does she like jewelry? Sweetmeats? Perfume?"

"Well, our parents had been saving up to buy her a St. Agnes medal." said Henry. "I was going to buy her some ribbons. She likes those."

"I have your blessing then?" asked Luke anxiously. "To court your sister?"

"She will be moving away soon." Henry pointed out.

"I'd like your blessing all the same."

"Fine." Henry sighed. "But break her heart and I break your neck."

"Completely fair." Luke agreed.

"Now that that's settled." Mark formed a cross with his arrows. "Luke, you must swear to keep the secret Henry is about to tell you."

Luke lightly placed his hand on the cross. "I swear." he said casually.

"Luke," said Henry. "I'm also in love with somebody."

"Well that's wonderful!" said Luke. "Who is she?"

"I'm in love with Aubrey. Have been for a while now."

"Aubrey? As in your twin brother Aubrey?"

"Didn't Edith tell you he's not our brother?"

"Ah, well, to tell the truth, neither of you came up in our conversation."

"You can't tell anyone this, Luke." said Henry. "Not even Edith. Not even your mother."

"Very well." said Luke. "But neither one is very stupid. They may figure it out soon."

"Perhaps." said Henry. "Let's go back. Aubrey needs to be told that you're all in on our secret."

They were greeted at camp by Friar Tuck. "Ah, rabbits and pheasant!" he said approvingly. "They look delicious, lads. But what are you going to eat?"

"Let me help you clean them, Tuck." said Luke. "I have wonderful news! I've fallen in love."

"Oh, my stomach." Mark groaned. "All these declarations of love make me sick!"

Tuck laughed. "Well, you come with me, lad, and tell me all about it."

"Luke!" Henry called after him. "Remember your promise?"

"I remember." Luke replied.

"Henry!" they heard Agnes call out. "Henry, over here, lad!"

Henry approached Agnes along with Matthew and Mark. "Yes, Mistress Agnes?"

"I want a look at yer stitches." she said. "Ye did nae pop 'em whilst hunting, did ye?"

"I don't believe so, ma'am." Henry took off his shirt and let Agnes inspect the wound.

"Everything's healing up nicely." she said. "The stitches can come out now. Mark, fetch me shears, lad." Mark went through one of Agnes' bags and found a pair of shears. "Now, this may hurt a wee bit, lad." Henry gritted his teeth as he felt a thread snip and snake through his skin. "Any of ye seen Aubrey of late?"

"We haven't seen him, Mum." said Matthew.

"I sent him off hours ago to fetch some chamomile." said Agnes as she applied the last of her ointment. "I was going to show him how to grind it with lanoline with a mortar and pestle, but he's taking such time with it."

"He'll probably be back before long." said Henry. *So why do I have such an awful feeling just now?* Henry thought.

"Guess what, Mum!" said Mark. "Luke's fallen in love."

"We'll that's nice." said Agnes. "Anyone we know?"

"Henry's sister." Mark noted his slip up. "That is to say, Henry and Aubrey's sister."

"Oh, well, tell me all about her, Henry. Mark, Matthew, you go help Luke with supper now." The two brothers left. "Henry," she leaned in close. "I know ye and Aubrey are nae really brothers."

"But-but of course we are!" Henry tried to laugh as if it were a joke.

"Henry, ye can nae fool a wise old woman like me. Yer nae brothers. Ye do nae argue enough to be brothers."

"We've argued." Henry remembered his foolish jealousy about Robin Hood.

"Aye. Ye argue like a pair of young lovers, afraid to hurt each other's feelings, quick to make up. Yer lovers, arn't ye, lad?" Henry blushed and nodded. "Ach. Knew there was some reason ye spent so much time 'bathing' at the loch. Never coming back together, now, that was clever." Henry blushed and fidgeted. This woman knew all along! "Cheer up now, lad. I do nae hold it agin ye. I'll even keep yer secret like I've been doing if ye like. Truth is, me brother Duncan were like ye and Aubrey. He had a lover name of Kendal."

"What happened?' Henry asked before he could stop himself. "Sorry, ma'am, none of my business, is it?"

"Our da killed Kendal with an ax." Agnes said sadly. "Accused him of seducing his son. Duncan was never quite the same after that...." She got a sad, far off look in her eyes.

Henry nodded. He knew how devastated he would be if Aubrey were to be killed.
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"I'm not a child, you know." Aubrey said peevishly as they walked.

"Well, you acted like a child." said Andrew. "Thinking running away will solve your problem."

"And I suppose threatening to kill yourself is very mature." Aubrey uncomfortably remembered making a similar threat to Henry. Had he been wrong to do that?

"Aubrey, you're in great danger! Henry's loose. What if he caught you?"

*Being chased and caught by Henry actually sounds like fun.* Aubrey thought to himself. *I'll have to suggest that when I see him again- if I see him again.*

"Let's not be sullen now, Aubrey." said Andrew. "Think how happy everyone will be to see you alive and well!" The trees were thinning out. They crossed the bridge over the stream that bordered Nottingham. Aubrey soon found himself in the town he thought he had left forever.

"Aubrey!" His mother screamed out his name as she came running to him. She embraced him and kissed his face, weeping. "Oh, Aubrey, Aubrey! My sweet baby boy!"

"Mother, please...." Aubrey was torn between wanting to pull from his mother's grasp and wanting to melt into it. Truth was, he had sort of missed her.

"Let the boy breathe, Abigail." Aubrey heard his father say. "Oh, come here, lad!" Aubrey's father embraced him and slapped his back. "So good to see you alive, son."

"I spent all night last night in the church," said his mother. "Lighting candles and praying for your return. Oh, that reminds me! You probably want to see Jane! You can get married right away!"

Thinking quickly, Aubrey collapsed to the ground as if in a faint.

"Aubrey! Aubrey!" His mother was patting his face and shaking him.

"Aubrey, get up!" Aubrey's father shouted.

"This may help." he heard Andrew say. Water was splashed in his face. He opened his eyes to see Andrew reaching for another double handful of water from a nearby trough,

"Hold, Andrew." said Master Dyer. "That's enough. He's coming to."

"Poor lad must be so excited to see his future bride again." Mistress Weaver sighed. "Are you alright now, Aubrey?"

"I...I...Oooooohhh!" Aubrey groaned as he grabbed his stomach, pretending to double up in pain.

"Aubrey, dear, do you feel sick?" asked his mother.

"Did you eat anything strange in the woods?" asked his father. "Berries? Mushrooms?"

"I-I did eat some mushrooms last night." That was true. Agnes had assured him they were safe to eat, though.

"What did they look like?" his mother asked.

"I-I don't know, they were a bit small and...oooh...I ate quite a few of them." Aubrey grabbed at his stomach, pretending to be in pain.

"Were they white? Yellow? Red?" His father pumped him for information. "Spots? Rings? We have to know what kind you ate, Aubrey." Aubrey gave out a low moan and pretended to be seized by a wrenching stomach cramp.

"Andrew, take your brother home." said their mother. "I'll get something from the apothecary. Put him to bed and boil some water."

"Still think you can take care of yourself?" Andrew scolded gently as he cradled Aubrey's limp body in his arms.
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Wish I Could Love You Out Loud