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When It Rains	By : Illiandyandra Category: S through Z > Stephanie Plum Series Views: 9524 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to this fandom. Stephanie Plum and her world along with any characters there in, belong to Janet Evanovich her publishers and distributors. I make no money from this as stated by the fact that I own none of the rights

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
WHEN IT RAINS
Illiandyanndra
Illiandyanndra@yahoo.com
Stephanie Plum
Pairings: Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)
Rating: Eventually NC-17
Spoilers: Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.
Disclaimer: Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.
^^Thoughts^^
^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^
“Speech”
AN: I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…
AN2: Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.
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CHAPTER 12
Stephanie PoV
I’m fairly certain that if you are responsible for your sixty one year old mother being arrested, you go to hell. And while I don’t really have any clue what the fight was about, something deep inside told me that this time it was definitely my fault. Never in a million years would I have believed that I’d be bailing MY mother, of all people, out of jail. We got dressed and made it to the station in record time. My hair still wet, though Hal had been nice enough to comb it through for me and braided it into two French braids that met at the base of my neck. When I asked him how he learned to braid like that he just blushed and refused to answer. Of course the second we walked into the cop shop with Ranger bringing up the rear, Carl and Big Dog met us at the door, and started in with their oh so witty comments.
“Damn Steph, I can finally see where you and your mom are related.” Carl teased before he scurried off.
“Whatever, Carl.” I yelled after him.
Guilmero approached us, smiling. “Well I’ve managed to get the officers to sequester Helen in an interview room rather than placing her into gen pop. But she has been booked and Angela Morelli is quite determined to press charges.” He explained after greeting us all.
“Well, of course she is.” We heard a voice come from the doorway behind us. “Mother beat her up just for telling the truth about Heffy Stephie. God, you really cannot do anything right. First you lose Joe MORELLI, the single hottest guy in the ‘burg. Then you somehow manage to get Mom brainwashed into thing it a good thing that you have a freakin’ harem of those thugs. Now you get MY MOTHER arrested. How am I supposed to show my face at the next PTA meeting?” Val shouted.
“Wait…Stephanie has harem. Why did no one tell me? How the hell do you sign up for that? Is there an application process?” Big Dog yelled from the desk.
“Valerie Francine Plum.” Daddy roared. “What so you think you are doing coming here and telling your sister’s business in the street? Why are you even here? How did you even know Helen was arrested?”
“It’s my right to be here. She is my mother too. As to how I found out, Joe is my friend and has been my friend since before he even knew Heffy Stephie over there. He called to let me know that Mom had been arrested for assault. Heffy Stephie’s been hanging out with those spic and nigger thugs so much she has infected my mother with her crass behavior.” Val said disgustedly.
“Valerie. I did not raise you to speak like that.” Helen said angrily as Eddie led her out from the back. “You should know better than to use racial slurs. I did not raise you to say things like that. We are all God’s children. Especially those seven men; men who are good and honorable and have saved your sister’s butt time after time!” I watched as my mother got madder and madder. “There is nothing at all worse than a racist. How dare you?” she ranted for a good ten minutes, before pulling one of my moves. It had to be one of my moves, because I’m 300 percent positive that she did not mean to say the next part out loud. “Especially since you were one day away from being half black yourself, for God’s sake.” Mom didn’t mean to say that at all since she threw her hands over her mouth as soon as she realized the words had flown out.
“Damn, Helen. You mean I’ve been badgering Mr. Robinson at the senior’s center all these years to see his pecker, so I could confirm what they say about black men, and you’ve had practical information all these years that you haven’t shared!” Grandma said; ‘subtly’ redirecting the attention from Mom. Daddy used the diversion to take Mom into his arms. “Well don’t that just beat all.”
“Mom…how could you cheat on Daddy?” Saint Valerie asked aghast.
“Valerie, your mother would never, ever do something like cheating on me.” Daddy said, as he comforted Mom. “It was the seventies…me and some of my buddies from Nam got together for dinner every now and then. So when your mother told me that she wanted to know if her mother’s magazines were right about black men, one of them helped us out.” He pressed a kiss to my mother’s mouth that seriously made me advert my eyes…no one should ever, EVER have to see their parents’ kiss like that. “Carpenter, could have been you father as easily as me. Not that it would have made a lick of difference. You’ve been my daughter since I saw the two pink lines.”
“Wonder how your precious ‘burg would have treated you if you’d been biracial…Saint Valerie.” I said snidely. I noticed that Ranger seemed to be biting back a chuckle. Wonder what that’s about.
“We’d have moved to Newark if she had been. Those self-righteous bitties in the ‘burg would have made my life hell otherwise. Maybe life would have been better if she had been. I was so relieved that Frank wouldn’t have to uproot his whole life because I wanted to swing a little…I may have gone a little crazy on being the perfect housewife after Val turned out to be his. I even quit nursing school so I could make sure to fit the mold. God Stephanie, I am so sorry. I’ve spent years trying to force you to be something you aren’t and something I never really wanted to be.” Mom said moving over to engulf me into one of our family’s rare hugs.
“Damn, Bomber, you have the most interesting family drama, ever.” Cal said in a stage whisper.
“All it proves is that the family is full of three generations of whores.” Bella Morelli said meanly from the doorway where she stood supporting a battered Angela.
“Oh, please. Stop being so sanctimonious Arabella Morelli. I’m as old as you…I know for a fact that little Donatella was born less than five months after your wedding. Just like I know that Anthony might be a Morelli by blood, but it was your father-in-law that knocked you up, cause your husband was overseas serving the whole time you were pregnant with that boy. In fact, I’m willing to bet money that both your boys are Papa Morelli’s not your husband, Joey.” Grandma said.
“You, shut your mouth, Edna Mazur. Before I curse you.” Bella shouted.
“As I hear it you’ll soon be learning all about the magic of my people. Helen got your daughter in law with a good one. I’ll match your Sicilian with my Hungarian any day. I will not stand here and let you bad mouth my daughter or grandchildren…especially since we may be sharing a great-grand soon.” Grandma said snidely.
“Nope! No way. Not a chance in hell, Grandma…I made sure Joe always used condoms, and I took care of myself just in case.” I assured the room at large.
“Right kitchen, wrong pot…you may have been careful with Joe, Baby Granddaughter…but your sister wasn’t.”
I’m pretty sure that time stopped in the Trenton Police Station that night. The gasps that we all sucked in at this point may have actually created a vacuum.
I could see from the look on Val’s face…it was true. But she was about to try to brazen her way through. “Grandma…are you going senile. Heffy Stephie is the one who was dating Joe. I’m married to my snuggle-umpkins, remember.”
“I’m not going senile. I can tell you and your sister apart just as easy as the rest of the room. And I KNOW that it was you I saw giving Joe Morelli the ill nana; Lula told me they call it that sometime; to Joe behind Helen’s kitchen while he was there supposedly with Stephanie and poor Albert was taking care of Lisa. I didn’t say anything yet, because I’m still waiting on the evidence to comeback at the drugstore. I could have gotten them back sooner, but I hate paying extra for the rush jobs. Then my baby granddaughter separated from that scumbag Morelli, so it was moot anyway.” Grandma said with a evil grin. “Probably I wouldn’t have said anything to anybody, but then you had to come in here and tell the whole world your sister’s business…trying to make her relationship with those nice bounty hunters something shameful, when you are just jealous as you ever were.”
“I’m not jealous of Heffy Stephie. Why would I be? I’m mom’s favorite. She and I did everything together. Stephie can’t cook without causing a fire, she can’t run a home and she’s hopeless at marriage. I mean Steven may have left me. But it was after YEARS not weeks.” Valerie bitched.
“OK. I’ve had it. I don’t know what your problem is lady…but you are a fucking wack job.” Hal said moving from behind me. I don’t think I’d ever heard Hal curse…apparently the rest of the JLS felt the same cause they were all looking at him like he’s grown a second head. “You have a mom and dad who obviously love you, a sister who loves your daughters so much that men who barely know YOU have secured their futures, a grandmother who is willing to go toe to toe with the dragon of the ‘burg for your family, a cousin, who while a pervert, makes sure that any of your family that needs a job has one, even if he probably should have said ‘no its too dangerous’. I mean am I remembering wrong…Wasn’t it Stephanie who moved out of HER apartment when you needed a place to live? It was Stephanie who made sure that your mom stayed off your case when you had your little anti-’burg rebellion. You should be on your knees thanking God for a sister like her…instead you go behind her back and fuck the low down dirty mutherfucker that was verbally abusing her and apparently cheating on her all while claiming he loved her. You are one sick twisted bitch.”
“You are sharing my sister with five other men, and you have the nerve to call me sick and twisted?” Valerie said with a huff. Ignoring, as usual, anything positive anyone had to say about me.
My Mother spoke up. “Valerie, I am ashamed of you. How could you do that to your sister? She has been nothing but wonderful to you since you and the girls came back from California.”
“You know what, I don’t care.” I spoke up. “I have you and Daddy and Grandma in my court. When my JLS and I decided not to make any attempt to hide this, I said that those who love me will be happy for me and fuck anyone who isn’t. Val has hated me since the day I was born. I was stupid to think that would ever change.” I gave my sister a hard look. “But if you EVER treat Mary Alice, or Lisa the way you’ve treated me…or encourage Angie to do it…I will take those girls. I will take them and hide them so far away from you they will not only forget that you were ever less than sane, they won’t even remember what you look like.” I growled.
“You will keep your nympho hands off my daughters.” She snarled at me.
“NO. Valerie, you will never make a comment like that about your sister again. And if you don’t change the way you treat Mary Alice, I’ll petition the courts myself.” Daddy said commandingly. “Ranger and his men are good men who I respect and who go out of their way to make your sister happy. If you were sleeping with the Morelli boy while he was with your sister, then you are no longer welcome in my home.”
“But Daddy, No.” Valerie begged.
“Valerie, you have been spoiled your entire life. The apple of your mother’s eye, but I cannot believe that you would do something that you had to know had the possibility of crushing your sister. IF she HAD been in love with Morelli, how do you think she would have felt when she found out about you sleeping with him? Your husband loves you. How do you think he will feel? You are no better than the Barnhardt girl.” Daddy said taking Mom’s hand and leaving the cop shop.
Man do I hope Guilermo was finished getting her bailed out. We all went our separate ways after that. Bella and Angela circled camp around Valerie. But there was no hope that the entire ‘burg wouldn’t know about her and Joe…Carl, Big Dog, and Eddie all looked like they couldn’t wait to tell someone. And since Eddie is bound to tell Shirley…the entire world would know soon enough.
By the time we made it back to Haywood we were all exhausted, so we agreed to table the envelop until the next morning. “We’ll meet in the small conference room off my office at nine to discuss the contents of the stupid envelope. For now I think we can all use some rest. Lula and Stephanie begin training tomorrow at 0’six hundred.” Ranger said authoritatively.
“Oh joy.” I thought as I stripped and climbed into bed.
*****
The next morning came far, far too early. Bobby dragged me to the shower, where he proceeded to gently lead me into an orgasm…only one however. It would seem that the guys have some big plans for me later. I strapped on a sports bar and some of my Rangeman panties. Never attempt exercise in anything other than cotton panties. Anything else is just asking for bad things in coochieville. Anyway. I topped those with some running shorts and threw one of Ranger’s wife beaters over the lot and Bobby dragged me to the basement.
I was shocked and amazed to see Lula already there. She didn’t look very happy to be there. But she was there, in florescent green cotton shorts, with a matching sports bra layered over a white one, with a big white basketball jersey on top of those. This morning was spent on doing tests to see where we stood. I was in better shape than Lula but not by much. I could run faster and longer, but she had better upper body strength than I did, and she knew some self-defense, other than just sitting on people. Of course, it was during the self-defense testing that we had an incident. Despite the two very restrictive sports bras, One of Lula’s girls still managed to make a break for freedom. Ram and Junior were sparing in the next ring, and Ram, well, he happened to look over at the exact wrong time. Ram hit Junior with full strength, instead of a pulled punch. The poor guy could barely apologize to his sparring partner; he kept mumbling; “So big,” Over and over again.
Lula was golden with her gun in the firing range. So I had to ask…”How come in here you can cluster a heart over the frikkin paper man’s heart…but in the streets you can’t hit the broad side of a barn?”
“Shit…it’s easy to aim and shit in here. It’s calm, quiet. That paper mutherfucker sure as hell ain’t gonna shoot back.” Lula said jokingly. “Why is it that you can’t shoot even the paper man worth shit, but you took out that one punk bitch when it really counted?”
“No clue…but he was going to kill a real person. So it was like time stopped and I just could do it.” I said honestly.
Bobby approached us. “You each have flip sides of the same problem. Lula, you need to learn to find that focus you have in practice, even in the field. And Sweetheart, you need to be able to find that zone, without being in a life or death situation. We will be working on building you both to a much improved level of fitness. Stephanie, while we work on Lula’s overall fitness level, we will begin with strength training for you. I’ll see you two back here tomorrow morning at the same time. Lula, go get cleaned up and report back here at eleven. We’ll be in a meeting until then.” He said dismissing her.
He turned to me. “Shower and meet us on five. Its ten after eight now. That gives you fifty minutes…don’t be late.”
*****
Of course I didn’t listen…but I was only five minutes late. However when I walked into Ranger’s office I could see that those five minutes were going to cost me. “You are late.” He said, in full leader mode. The rest of the guys were already in the small room. I’d never noticed it before. There were only the external windows in the room, so from the hall one just assumed it was like the CEO bathroom, exclusively for Ranger’s use. But nope it was actually a small fully loaded conference room for eight to ten. It would be perfect of clandestine meetings with government officials when the case was ‘need to know’ or ‘top secret’ or even ‘your eyes only’. I was so busy thinking about the secret military meetings that room was perfect for that I missed the fact that Ranger had locked his office door.
“Sorry, I had to cleanup. I was sweating like a pig this morning.” I said breezily.
“You. Are. Five. Minutes. Late.” He growled menacingly. “You will take off all of your clothes, and go present your ass to Tank. You will receive five smacks, thanking him after every one. Then you will crawl under the table and so each of us how sorry you are that you were late. Then you will come back out here, get dressed and return to the room for us to begin the meeting promptly at ten am.”
^^I wonder what his excuse would have been if I’d been on time?^^ I wondered, as I quickly doffed my clothes. I walked into the room head held high and presented my ass to Tank by laying across his massive thighs. “One. Thank you Tank, may I have another.” I counted seductively. If I’d been wearing panties, they would be ruined. If his pants had been pulled up they would have been messed up as well. By the fifth wack, I was screaming and cumming. But I managed to finish my gratitude. Then I crawled beneath the table and let my mouth play with his shaft and balls until he was pouring pre-cum. I sucked hard at the head of his cock and swallowed the rich, viscous fluid of his orgasm before moving onto Bobby seated at Tank’s left. It took me almost the full fifty five minutes to get all seven of my men to erupt into my mouth. I swallowed them all, not wasting a single drop. It is truly interesting, how they all taste very much alike and yet so different.
Much like in my fantasy, I was too full to even think about the fact that I’d yet to have breakfast. I’d also cum several times. So maybe that had something to do with it. As soon as I was dressed and we began the meeting proper…I was very glad that we’d taken the time to enjoy ourselves first.
*****
Ranger PoV
“Before we discuss the envelope, I’d like to ask if anyone has anything to bring to the table about the move?” I asked as I helped a slightly wobbly Stephanie into her seat at my right.
“I was thinking about it this morning. We’re gonna need super Ella sheets for the big bed. I mean we’ve got to figure out how to get Ranger’s super sheets big enough. I love those sheets.” My Babe said with a dreamy smile.
“We’ll also have to look into getting some custom made sheets of lesser quality for use with oils and such.” Bobby said before he launched into a quick rundown of the things we’d gotten from Carol. “Carol has agreed, that since Stephanie is the closest thing she has to family, that as long as we order through her we can look through her catalogues, and get a ten percent discount.” He finished.
I nodded in appreciation of his work. I would not have been able to be in that store with Our Girl, and not gotten kicked out for fucking her on the display counter. “Ok. Babe, start to research custom made linens. Then get with Ella, for thread counts for the premium sheets, but don’t go below three hundred thread count, even on the low end ones. They will be too easily damaged otherwise.” There is no need to let the whole world know that I have sensitive skin and chafe on too low a thread count…that is in no way bad ass at all.
“Can I ask something?” Hal piped up. When I gave him the floor he continued. “I noticed an extra drain, all but itself in the water closet. What the heck was that thing there for? I’ve been racking my brain, and nothing makes sense.”
“Yeah, I want to know too.” Stephanie piped up.
I looked around the room and was met with a stone wall of faces. I know they knew…at least I know Lester and Bobby both knew. I’m willing to bet money on the other three did as well. But not one of them were going to be the ones to answer. “Its used for certain types of sex play.” I said trying to ease into it.
“Well DUH! Everything on the top floor seemed to be designed for sex. But what the frilly heck could you use the drain in the floor for?” Stephanie said, clearly she was frustrated.
“Watersports.” I said succinctly.
“But it was a drain not a spigot?” Hal said, still clearly confused.
“Watersports refers to sex play centered around the evacuation of the bladder, either on someone or while inside someone or while someone is inside you.” Bobby said clinically.
Hal and Stephanie exchanged looks that were damn near comical. “EEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!” they said together.
“None of you are into that?” She asked us. We all shook our heads, except Lester.
“I’ve done it before. But it’s not something I need nor even want to do again.” He said with his usual smirk. “But, it’s also not something I’m completely against doing if you ever decide you wanted to try it.”
“Oh, please….name one thing you wouldn’t do if I really wanted to try it?” Stephanie teased him.
Without missing a beat every one of us who knew what the drain was for answered at the same time, and with the exact same limits. “Scat or blood play.” We said as one. After we explained to them what we were referring to; we watched their expressions closely. From the shivers of disgust that shook Hal and Our Girl, I don’t think that would be a problem for them.
“I have received the e-mail from the Carpenter’s son Richard.” I had a very hard time not smiling as I remembered how close Babe’s sanctimonious sister came to being her half-sister. “And placed the order for the mattress. It will be ready for delivery in three weeks. Guilermo is cognizant of our relationship and since Lester and I would both prefer to explain thing to our respective parents ourselves….he has demanded payment for keeping quiet. I promised to introduce him to Connie. Babe, I need your help in this one. I need you to get Connie to agree to a spa day with you and Lula; I’ll even pay as long as she walks out with no mustache.”
Stephanie, of course, fell out laughing but she agreed. “Good that’s settled…of course since we have been working with Abegaile for the design; she has made her own demand. “ I grimaced.
“How bad can it be?” Lester asked concerned.
“She wants her own personal Rangeman.” I said disgustedly. “She is willing to let us do the initial vetting. She however wants at least four to choose from. She has agreed to my rules. No one more than two years older than her, and none of the assassin trained men.” I had to wait until Stephanie stopped laughing again to continue. “I’d like names on my desk by close of business tomorrow. I only have three days or she goes to Mami.” Now I had to wait until everyone finished laughing their collective asses off.
“Moving on. Now that housekeeping has been handled. We have to discuss the envelope.” I took the contents out and, after looking through them, handed the pictures to Stephanie on my right.
Stephanie PoV
The contents of the envelope were disturbing. It contains the usual plethora of photographs. But these were clearly just a sampling. They stretched back years. There was even an old Polaroid of me in my Tasty Pastry uniform. There was a running outline of me in different Halloween costumes over the years. “Its like a picture outline of my life from sixteen to present. There are even pictures from when I’d come home during the summers and Christmases. My God I’ve had a stalker all this time.” I groaned. I started to notice that in any picture I was with a male other than my father in, the crazy had painstakingly cut out the man holding me. This was starkly apparent in the candid shots from my huge ‘burg wedding to the Dick. Finally I got to the back. There was a copy of a letter there. The guys must have taken the original for a forensic work up.
My Dearest Stephanie,
As you can see I’ve been watching you for a very long time. All these years, I’ve been patiently waiting for us to be available at the same time. That time has finally come. Now that it is here, allow me to tell you of all I have done to protect you over the years. I’ve been watching you forever, and when you married that lawyer, I had to save you from him. I mean what kind of grown man calls himself Dickie anyway. Still you have no idea how hard it was to convince an attorney to have an affair in his own home. But I knew you would have to see it for yourself. Joyce wasn’t the only one. But she was the one that would give you the best reason to leave. I lost track of you for a few years. By the time I was almost ready to give up, you reappeared in the ‘burg, and I was even more convinced that we were always meant to be. But then you hooked up with that cop. He was never good enough for you. If only you could have heard the things he said about you when he lead you astray. He was not worthy. But you finally saw that on your own.
Now I’m sure that you are being wooed by the ‘man in black’. But you are meant to be mine. I have been patient for years. I’m done waiting for you. Now you will be mine.
Soon you will have to make a choice. You have chosen not to be a cupcake. But you should know that you do not have to be a Babe either. I would hope that you make the right choice this time Stephanie. Your niece Mary Alice reminds me so much of you at her age…perhaps if you make the wrong decision I will teach her to play something a lot bigger than Choo-Choo.
Yours Always,
DONE WAITING
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When It Rains