Life Choices | By : JessieMundaiFan Category: M through R > The Outsiders Views: 1891 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: The Outsiders is owned by S.E. Hinton I own nothing. I make no profit on this fanfic |
Disclaimer: The Outsiders is owned by S.E. Hinton I own nothing.
… (Ponyboy's POV) I feel so betrayed right now. Johnny and Curly, two of the people I feel connected to, think I am helpless. (Flashback) After I said goodbye to the guys, I practically speed walked to my room. I didn't even realize how tired I was until I stepped into the house. Getting ready for bed, I emptied both my pants pockets and set my things on the counter. Looking through my stuff, I realized something was missing. "What's wrong Pony," Soda asked me as he stripped down to his boxers and undershirt. "I think I lost my key chain," I told him patting down my pants. That was favorite one to. Soda shrugged, "It's probably in the house, just retrace your steps." Seeing nothing else to do, I complied and went back to the front door. Hopefully it's in the house, I said to myself. Looking down I saw it was right at the foot of the door. I smiled to myself and picked it up. "He needs someone that can protect and look after him," I heard somebody say angrily from outside the door. "First of all I can protect him," Johnny exclaimed in irritation, "and I look after him just fine to." Curly and Johnny? What are they arguing about? I pushed my ear up to the door in order to hear more of what they're saying. Some of their words are coming out a little muffled. "…my babe and all that, but he doesn't need you. He needs a real man." Babe? There talking about me? They have to be, Curly only calls me babe. I tuned out the rest of their conversation as hurt flowed through me. Am I really that pathetic that I constantly need people around me to take care of me? I slowly walked back to my room, feeling very disturbed and saddened. "Did you find it," Soda yawned tiredly from the bed. "Hm," I replied setting the key chain on the counter and getting ready for bed. The words of my friends haunted me all night. (End flashback) Does Johnny really see me as a friend, or just some kid he needs to look after? Does Curly feel the same way? I don't need people around me. I don't need people to take care of me. I mean sure my brothers can be a little overprotective, but I always thought that was natural. Do they think I'm helpless to? I was brought out of my thoughts by a finger poking me in the cheek. Looking over, I saw it was Soda staring at me with both amusement and worry. "I know that look," he claimed cupping my cheek, "what's bothering you." "Nothing," I shook off his hand. I could tell by the look on Soda's face that he wasn't about to give up that easily. (Ring! Ring! Ring!) The phone was ringing. Seeing as I was the closest to it on the couch I answered it. "Hello," I answer dryly. Darry always told me to answer the phone professionally, but right now I wasn't in the mood. "Hey, Pony," I heard Johnny say brightly. Normally I would be happy to hear his voice, but right now I feel really betrayed by him. "What do you want," I narrowed my eyes. "Huh, um, I just wanted to know if you were…" "Spit it out," I snapped. I saw Soda's look at me in shock. There was a brief pause until I heard Johnny's clearly sadden voice. "Pony, did I do something to upset you or something? Whatever it is I'm sorry." I wanted to tell him that, yes you did do something to upset me, but I just couldn't get the words out. I couldn't find it in myself to start a fight with him, despite how hurt I was. Wow. I really am pathetic. "Don't worry about it Johnny," I sighed, "I'm just having a bad morning that's all." I heard him let out a sigh of relief. Why would he be so relieved that I wasn't mad at him? I don't mean that much to him do I? "Oh okay. Do you want to talk about it?" "No thanks," I said. "I'll call you when I'm feeling better. Okay?" "Alright, bye." "Bye," and with that I hung up the phone. I really need to get away from all this. I went to get a book from my room but was pulled into a one armed hold. Looking up, I saw Soda gazing down at me. "Talk," he ordered sternly. I shifted uncomfortably next to his side. I really don't want to talk about this, but knowing Soda he won't let me go until I do. "Soda," I said slowly. "Yes," he drawled. "Do you think I always need to be protected?" He looked confused by the question, "What do you mean?" "Why do you always want to protect me all the time," I whispered to him, "is it because you think I'm helpless?" "What? Where would you get that idea," he exclaimed angrily. I looked down at my feet. "I want to protect you Ponyboy because I love you," he kissed me on the head. "You're my precious little brother and I don't want anything to happen to you." "Am I really so pathetic that I need to be protected all the time," I cried pleadingly. "Did Johnny say that to you? Is that why you're mad at him?" "I heard him and Curly talking last night," I mumbled, "they were talking about how much they need to protect and look after me." A growl suddenly emitted from my brothers throat. Grip tightening, he held me closer to him. "What's wrong," I asked him curiously. "Nothing," he was glaring at the wall for some reason. Taking a deep breath, he seems to calm down slightly, but not by a lot. "Look Ponyboy, when people lov, I mean, care for someone a lot they usually feel like they must do everything they can to make sure that person doesn't get hurt. Regardless of how strong that person is, they will still feel as if the person they care about is as vulnerable as a new born baby. I sighed, burying myself in his chest. "Yeah, but I'm not strong." "Yes you are," he interjected quickly. "You are a strong boy. You're strong enough to not only separate yourself from the crowd of idiot greasers around you, but also try and be something more than a greaser. It takes guts to be different Ponyboy, not a lot of people can that." I was blushing from the over the top praising he was giving me. "I just don't want people to feel like they have to look after me. I want be like you, more mature and independent." Soda moved down and leaned his head on mine. "First of all, that feeling people have to protect the one they care about doesn't go away. I guarantee you that even when your thirty I'm still going to be protective of you." I let out a chuckle "Second of all, don't be so worried about being mature. Maturity comes in time, and you most likely won't notice you've fully matured until it happened. And third of all, I'm not as independent as you think Ponyboy." Hm? "What do you mean," Soda is very independent, at least from what I've seen. "Don't worry about it," he moved his hands to my sides and started to tickle me. "No…more…feeling…bad…you hear me," he grinned stressing out each word. "Okay, okay," I replied giggling out my words. "I can't hear you," he started to tickle me harder. "Okay," I cried out. He nodded and finally stopped tickling me. "Good, now I don't hear any more about feeling bad about yourself alright?" I nodded, feeling a little better than I did last night. As he pulled me into one final hug I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. I have one great brother. … Right now I was jogging around the neighborhood trying to relax and let everything my brother said sink in. Maturity comes in time. Yeah that's true, but that doesn't mean I can't move it along a little. Nothing wrong with a little push is there? But how should I do it though? I could learn how to defend myself better. I could learn how to be more street smart. I could learn to be more aware of my surroundings. Okay, scratch that last one. I'm plenty aware on what's going on around me. Maybe I could find someone to teach this kind of stuff. Somebody older, who's been around the block a few times. Who could to it though? Darry? No, Darry doesn't like to teach me things. I've learned that the hard way. (1) Soda? No, he would probably take it easy on me. Two-Bit? No, he wouldn't take me seriously. Dally? Yeah right. Boyfriend or not, Dally doesn't teach anybody anything. Who's left? "What the fuck," I heard someone yell. Looking over I saw Steve glaring at his car with the top popped open. Hm, I wonder. I crept up next to him while he was busy cussing out his car. "Steve," I shouted. "Oh," he gasped breathing heavily. He looked over at me with deadly intent. "Go away," he glared. Steve then turned his focus back on his car, determine to ignore me. I just stood there and stared at him. This works all the time with my brothers, stare at him long enough he'll get annoyed and look at you. Sure enough it worked. He turned around and marched up to me so that we are face to face. "What do you want," he stressed out every syllable. "Can you help me with something," I asked him sweetly. "No," he replied dryly. I shook my head, "you don't even know what it is." "I don't care," he smirked, "I ain't helping you with shit." "I need help speeding up my maturity," I told him. Steve raised an eyebrow at me. Seeing an opening, I started to explain myself. "I want to learn how to be a stronger person, but I need help doing it." "That's great brat," he said sarcastically, "but what does that have to do with me." I looked down with a blush. "I need somebody that would be tough and hard on me." "And you think I would be a good choice." I nodded at him. "What makes you think I'll help you out," he snickered at me, "especially since I'm not getting anything for it." He moved back to his car and started to work on it. I growled at him internally. That jerk, what make him think… An idea just popped in my head. "Tom Powell's party is coming up soon," I said casually, "biggest party of the year." He continued to ignore me. "Soda invited to come along with you two," I had to strain myself from letting out a smirk as I saw Steve freeze. "I might be busy that night. I don't really know," I feigned thought out loud, "it might just depend on my mood whether I go or not." Steve looked back at me with narrowed eyes. "Let's make a deal," I said trying to reason with him. "Every time you help me out is a time when you can choose when I don't go with you and Soda somewhere." He gazed at me blankly for the longest time. Finally, he moved over to me. Taking my hand in his he gave me a rough hand shake. "Deal." …While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
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