Monster | By : TheBloodyWhiteWolfxoxo Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR Views: 2424 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga is the property of Stephenie Meyer. Similarities are for the sole use of entertainment/fanfiction, and no money and/or profit is benefited from this fic. |
Rain crawls down the window, the wetness blurring the glass. Some drops are sucked away into the air, evaporating before they can even be noticed. The lucky drops continue to hustle down the window, striving for the ground, dragged down by the mighty force of gravity. Very few make it all the way down, but some are lucky enough to survive the fall and splash onto the ground, shattering into thousands of microscopic bits before lazily seeping deep into the roots of the unexplored earth.
My eyes study the process many times over, cycle after cycle, drop after drop. The black wave of my hair rests on my shoulders, sprawled down my back in messy tangles. I don't pay any mind to it. I sit statue-still on the ground, my back perfectly erect, my hands folded into my lap. In the mirror of the window, the misty reflection of my gaze stares steadily back at me, unmoving. The dark blue depths of my eyes are filled with an intense, unbreakable focus. The focus is indirect and completely meaningless. It's merely an exercise—clear the mind, stop the thoughts, and breathe. My stomach is full. Not with food; no, I haven't eaten since dinner. A heavy weight has settled in the pit of my stomach, weighing me down. It's an odd sort of thing, something that doesn't occur every day. Yet I know exactly why it's there. His memory burns in my mind, an icy fire that no element can extinguish. Blood races in my veins, carrying tiny bits and pieces of the flames in their flow. Everything about him is completely and utterly breathtaking. The boom of his laughter, the dimples in his grin, the shine in his eyes, the sweetness of his scent, the hidden humor of his words, the chill of his breath, and the firmness of his body. Every part of him is simply amazing. And I hate it all. Hate is a strong word that is commonly misused. And of course, I am misusing it now. The sensations of him—just Emmett being himself—are stronger than any hint of fury or pain I've ever felt. It's nearly passion. Passion for someone I barely know. Passion for a being that I'm meant to slaughter. Passion for the enemy. Sickening. Breath leaves my parted lips in a soft breeze. I slide my fingers through the thick layers of my hair, bowing my head away from the window. My muscles lock back down into place, my body going still once more. The war raging in the front of my dark thoughts is unavoidable. I've changed sides time and time again, never settling on one for more than a few minutes. Go with it, end it. Go with it, end it. Go with it, end it. The decision is impossible. I am bound back down to earth; bound to a creature that is my enemy. So ready to fight, to kill, to drive his species into extinction. And now this. I'll have to break away from this, somehow. I'll have to undo this curse that fate has set upon me. This has to be a mistake, or maybe even a punishment. I can't be destined to find love, of all things, with a creature that I am designed, trained, and ready to slaughter. He will only have to lay a hand on me, get to close to me, say the wrong thing to me, and instinct will unleash the monster. No matter how large his muscles are, he won't stand the slightest chance. A part of me is relieved by the thought. But another part of me, the part locked up and suffocating deep within me, reacts to the thought of his death. It's the part of me that is bound to him—a part of me that has been long silenced finally starting to rise up again. The shrill screeching of an alarm clock sucks me back into the moment. I am on my feet the instant the sound touches my ears, my body tightening and becoming completely alert to my surroundings. My ears reach the muffled sounds of stirring people: Sam's exhausted groan, the smack of a hand against an alarm, the squeak of the mattress as another repositions to fall back into the arms of gentle slumber. I shake my head and tear off my clothes, bundling them up before tying them to the string on my leg. I am gone then, down the stairs and out through the door before Sam even has a chance to sit up. The others won't care much. I've done them a favor, making sure that I won't be a spoil to their lovely family morning. On my way out, I nearly break the door down, having no patience for obstacles. The wolf in me stretches, sending shakes throughout my muscles as it demands release. I give into it without a thought, diving forward into the green maze of the tree line. The chill of the morning whooshes over my naked human skin, caressing it for just a moment before I am gone to the wolf. My paws hit the ground running. How come I couldn't do this earlier? Because— This is so awesome; I don't have to even talk! Hey Brady, how's it going? Oh, you know, just changing into a big huge wolf and heading out to kill vampires! Can we change into other things too? Oh my God, I want to be a lion! You can't, but can you at least shut up for one damn second and listen? This is serious. We have to focus. Yes, please shut them up, Jared. We all would like a bit of peace and quiet, for once. Ha, look at their paws, Jared! They're gigantic! The thoughts of the pack mind hit me all at once. There are so many thoughts shooting through one mind to the next that the images drawn by their senses are muddled, giving only short flashes of the green of the forest and the occasional fur color. My change is felt but not yet noticed. I shoot through the forest, thundering across the ground without bothering to be quiet. The scents of the current patrol has mixed in with a new musk—the scents of two new wolves. Whoa, did you feel that, Collin? Yeah . . . creepy. Are we changing back? No, that will take patience. That feeling means— Damn, Jared, you're awful at this. Let me handle them, scrawny little snots. I break through the trees into the light, muddy clearing just as Paul lunges out to stand over two cowering figures. Both are clearly newly phased—the excitement, shock, and fear is mixed inside their heads as if they can't decide what they really feel. Both wolves stand on large, oversized paws that slip through the wet sand as they press back against a pile of freshly chopped and stacked wood. The wolves appear to be very similar, though they are different in their colors. The wolf nearest to me is covered in an ashy-brown fur that appears to be nearly gray, while the other wears a red-brown coat colored with darker markings. A brown wolf stalks behind Paul, his ears pressed flat but his stance at ease. The brown wolf wears an air of authority around him. I remember then that Jared has been the beta of the pack for a while now; the news of Jacob's denial has passed through to me earlier. My stare grows more critical as I study Jared's actions. He doesn't seem embrace his control or have even acknowledged it much at all. The silver wolf—Paul—peels his lips back, exposing his long, white teeth. A growl rumbles in his chest as he hovers over the wolves, snapping his teeth at their muzzles. The smaller, red brown wolf's eyes widen. Both of them whimper, pressing further into the wood. God, Paul, scare them right out of their skin. I allow my thoughts to grow present in the pack's mind as I press forward. Both of the wolves glance warily in my direction, taking in the sight of my white fur against the sand. Paul's growls cut off abruptly. His gaze darts to the side, taking in my form as if he has never noticed me. He is quick to avert his gaze, his muscles stiffening beneath his fur. His mind scrambles before he turns to Jared. You know, maybe I should head off. I'm starving. Jared considers this, his thoughts hesitant before he nods his head once. Okay, but make sure that you're back soon. We have a patrol to run. The silver wolf nods back and swerves around, jogging toward the forest. He heads straight in my direction, but his thoughts are only a fading hum. His front paws slip as he brushes past my form, his shoulder jamming into my side. I give a low growl and ram my own side up against his, causing him to skid. A rumble rises in Paul's throat but he catches himself. He shakes his head and snorts before pulling himself up and disappearing into the forest. Oh, almighty beta, Leah thinks sourly, tagging onto the quieted thoughts of Paul. The flashes of the green forest slow in her mind as she halts. May I— Go ahead, Leah. Jared's stance relaxes as Leah's thoughts cut off. His gaze flickers my way, his mind scanning over my firmly placed and confidently held stance. He doesn't give me a greeting, but he doesn't add on any disgusted side comment about my presence, either. It's the closest thing to some respect I've gotten since the night of the chase. I can feel the curious glances of the two relaxing new wolves pointed in my direction. They shift around after Paul has left, leaning away from the wood pile. The ashy brown wolf's gaze settles on me. Did she just chase all of the others off? The wolf glances to the red-brown wolf next to him. What's wrong with her? I don't give the other wolf a chance to answer. I saunter forward, taking their wariness as a chance to mess around with them. You thought Paul was scary, did you? He's pleasant, compared to me. I kill, not threaten. I kill slowly, listening to the sound of the dying screams. And if either of you are ever, ever to try something with me, I'll be listening to you beg for mercy as you're crushed and twisted and torn into a mangled mess. I pause before them, my gaze steady. Is that clear? The wolves shake as they take in each word, their forms seeming to blur. Their response is instant and identical.G-Got it! My head turns over my shoulder in Jared's direction. He is completely frozen, his eyes bulging out of his head as he stares at me. I drop my head, swinging it from side to side. Take a joke. Jared is the first to realize I am only messing around. He pauses for a moment before he chortles, the sound ragged and rough in his throat. I glance back at him as he bumps his shoulder lightly into mine, his amusement flowing from his mind into my own. Clearly, his hard feelings have faded, if not disappeared. I bump his shoulder in return, careful to channel my strength into my balance instead of the movement. The two wolves glance at Jared before echoing his laughter, their tones still nervous. I nod to them, trotting back toward the forest, needing to move. Just a joke. The ashy-furred wolf finally relaxes. He places his paws down carefully as he jogs forward. Oh, well . . . nice to meet you, uh, Jordan? I'm Brady! With a huff, the other wolf bounds forward, not wanting to be left out.And I'm Collin! I'll be killing all the leeches around here. Brady snorts. Dude, really? You're too chicken to even look at a girl. How are you gonna kill a leech? Hey, now. Jared steps forward, his thoughts suddenly impatient. We'd better get going—you two have wasted enough time already. We have to run patrol and there's no time left to mess around. He jerks his chin in my direction. Jordan and I can show you around a little until Sam is out. I nod. Jared takes the lead and I start after him, although following after another wolf feels . . . wrong. I shake it off, forcing my attention on the forest. Collin and Brady's hesitation hums in the edge of their minds as we depart. I wolf smile to myself and swing my head around, taking one last look at them before I disappear into the forest. Come on, you're already falling behind. Collin and Brady reluctantly bound forward to catch up. They duck behind Jared, falling in step behind him. Our movements are silent, with the exception of the clopping of the new, oversized paws as they squish through the muck. Each thought is hushed, all fading into a low vibration. After a few miles pass, I find myself in the lead, making my way through the forest without a second thought. I am home, in the land I've always known. I don't need any instruction—I know the forest like the back of my own hand. Jared patiently answers to Brady and Collin's never-ending flow of questions, whether they are directed at him or not. He keeps his mind pressed into theirs, always watching. I am allowed to let my senses wander as I head toward the river, knowing from experience that the treaty line is always the first stop. The calming scents of the river seep into my nostrils as we near. Water levels have risen with the melting snow. The river is swollen, expanding out over the bank, reaching for the trees. My paws splash through the water, oblivious to the chill. I don't bother being quiet—the point is to keep leeches off our land, anyway. I reach the edge of the river, feeling the water suck my paws in, leaving me standing with the water up to my ankles. I huff and raise my head just as a gust of wind blows through the forest. I breathe in the woodsy musk, tasting the clear, odorless scent of water and the sweet, delicious scent of. . . No. Oh hell no. Strolling down the bank across the river, shirt on but muscles still in full view, is none other than Emmett. He is not close enough to get attacked, but he is close enough to cause some sort of ruckus. The minds of Jared and the new wolves are all channeling into mine as they stop. They're right on my heels and reaching the edge of the tree line. It's too late to stop them now. Jared growls softly to himself as he sees Emmett, but it's ignored. Collin and Brady freeze, their muscles locking in place. I feel the cold realization as it seeps into their minds. They stare for a moment before they erupt into a frenzy. Both of them throw themselves forward, yowling and yelping and snapping. Dirt flies as their paws move, the easy silence of the forest disrupted. Cold Man! Cold Man! I pause for only a moment, my gaze catching Emmett's, but that moment is a waste of time. As I am standing still, a large silver form charges past me, howling and snarling up a storm. The form hurls itself across the river, splashing through it before knocking Emmett to the ground, planting his paws on his chest. Got it! Paul turns his head to look back, his wolfish expression smug as he looks straight through me, his gaze focusing on Jared and the new wolves. I have been so focused on the forest, I haven't even heard Paul's thoughts as he joins us. Emmett grunts, his nostrils flaring as he is held to the ground. "Get off of me!" he snarls. A moment later, Paul crashes into a tree, a foot-shaped imprint in his fur. Emmett shakes his head and stands, glaring at Paul pointedly. He growls once before glancing over at my tense form. He winks at me, his dimples popping up as he grins. Jared's unease swells in my mind for a moment, but it quickly disappears. He shakes his head and turns, figuring the situation will solve itself, making himself busy by herding Collin and Brady up the bank and back into the trees despite their noisy protest. I continue to stare, my mind and instincts conflicting. Paul shakes his fur as he picks himself up. His dark gaze shoots between Emmett and me. He snaps his teeth, his hostility on high. Emmett shifts to face Paul. His grin morphs into a smirk while his eyes narrow. He crouches into a fighting stance, sizing Paul up. Paul's warning growl grows in volume. Emmett leans forward, baring his teeth at the sound. Paul howls, the sound of it rising above the trees. He spreads his paws out and crouches, snarling through his teeth—he is accepting Emmett's challenge. In my mind, I can picture the two of them charging at each other, and that thought alone boils the protectiveness inside of me. My need to protect a side that is young and uncovered, but as I watch Paul start to circle Emmett, my thoughts change instantly. He's going to kill him. Paul is going to kill him. Paul is going to kill HIM. Paul is going to kill my Emmett. Or at least, it seems that way. I don't even give him the chance. In the blink of an eye, I have thrown myself across the river. I charge onto the bank and rear up as I near Paul's large silver body. My dead weight crashes down on top of him, knocking him right off his feet. Paul spits and snaps his teeth toward me, his body thrashing. I swing my head directly at his own. My skull meets his opened jaw, bashing upward beneath his chin. Paul howls out as his head slams pack into the dirt. He kicks his legs and thrashes his weight around, rumbling angrily in frustration. Some side of me knows that if I continue to play the offense, I will do more harm than necessary. My weight leans back, my paws dropping down against the earth. I sense Emmett behind me and hold on to the cold feel of his presence, soaking in the sensation, letting it seep beneath my fur and hold me together. Paul is up again in moments, shaking his head to clear it. Globs of saliva fly. I am a heated, towering barrier before Emmett. My jaws have spread to reveal each fine point of my teeth, giving off a clear warning to Paul. Paul doesn't retreat. Instead, he lowers his head and tips his weight from side to side. His mind evaluates and tries to come up with a smart move to get me out of the way, but his temper is getting the better of him. He snuffs out a breath and slashes a paw through the dirt before throwing himself forward into a straight charge. Paul's head raises, his teeth bared as he closes in. I let loose a sharp bark, the sound booming above his snarls. I launch forward, meeting Paul halfway. The two of us topple into the muddy river, head over heels. For a moment, I am completely submerged. Paul scrambles on the muddy river bottom as he tries to regain footing. I waste no time in shooting out of it, bracing my paws firmly in the muck. Paul blasts out of the surface, his snarls echoing out in the forest around us. His dark gaze locks with mine. I register the uncontrolled rage in them. For just a moment, I can sense the fear in the background, nestled into the minds of the other wolves. For a moment, I can feel the awe that the cold being behind me holds as he watches. But the sensations only last a moment. Paul barks once at me before lunging toward me with all of his might. Water bursts around us in large waves as our bodies clash together, the heat of our temperatures seeming to set the water ablaze. Paul swipes his paws at me, his head pressing in as he snaps at my throat. I return each snarl and snap, but I don't make any move to tear at him. Instead, I lower my body, aiming at his exposed belly before I heave myself forward, knocking him back. My teeth graze his throat as he crashes down, but I am quick to pull back. My paws drop back into the river and I huff, my shoulders quivering and my body wired with the same need to defend. I ready myself to move again. Paul rises, but this time he makes no move to charge again. He snorts and shakes his head, sending out a spray of water. His mind burns with tempered rage as he pulls himself onto the bank. He pants heavily as he steadies himself. His thoughts flash into mine, his tone bitter and blunt. You really love the tribe, Jord. My mind instantly rejects his words. I curl my lip back and let out one last snarl. Jared, who has stationed himself in the trees, out of the way, steps forward. His gaze moves between Paul and me before he swings his head back, gesturing for Paul to join them. Paul's thoughts focus only on the forest as he trots past Jared, bumping into his shoulder roughly as he passes. Jared shakes his head and nods to Collin and Brady. They glance at each other before moving to follow after Jared. The shock has worn off and they are completely riled up, nearly exploding with excitement. THAT WAS AWESOME! Their thoughts start to bounce off one another, coming in too quickly. They sound like over-excited children, jabbering to each other without a single pause, images of the brawl whirring through their mind as they break down each moment at it. I listen to their thoughts before pulling my focus out of it. My attention settles on the completely relaxed form of Emmett. His golden gaze is bright with amusement as he stares after the patrol, smirking as he slides his finger across his throat. Emmett's eyes narrow again as he studies the forest for any sign of the wolves coming back. While his attention is divided, I take the opportunity to slip behind a large boulder. I drag in a large breath, allowing my eyes to fall shut for just a moment as I bend forward. The water stirs as it adjusts to my new form, the change only taking a heartbeat. I waste no time. My eyes snap back open, my hands tearing the clothes still secured to the string loosely wound around my ankle. Both the shirt and the shorts are absolutely soaked with water, but I don't mind. I yank each piece in place in record time. I sigh quietly to myself and breathe out again, placing a hand on the rock. I know he's there before I peek around it. Emmett grins at me casually and raises a hand in my direction, as if he's been waiting for me to look over at him. He raises his voice as he speaks. "Just stopping by." I shake my head, moving my gaze off him and onto the murky surface of the river. Do I stay, or do I go? The choice threatens to tear me apart once again. Paul's burning gaze still hovers at the edge of my thoughts, but the pull is drawing me in again. I exhale sharply, knotting a hand in my hair. I glance his way once more. Emmett's eyes catch mine and he raises an eyebrow. I am about to turn away when he grins at me, his dimples appearing as he does. Damn the dimples. I quickly wade through the current of the river, stepping onto the bank. Water runs off of me, sliding down my arms and dripping off my fingertips, but I ignore it as I hold Emmett's eyes with my own. I can almost see the pierce of my dark blue gaze reflected in the golden pools of his eyes. He still seems unaffected by all that has happened. Emmett leans back against a tree, crossing his arms tightly to his chest. "Back for more already?" he asks with a chuckle. The humor is normally softening, but the fun isn't over just yet. The same suppressed fury is boiling deep within me, blistering hot. I continue to approach Emmett, my steps slow. "Exactly why are you here?" My tone is flooded with warning. I am no damsel in distress like any other woman these days. He isn't going to sway me so easily. Emmett shakes his head again, continuing to chuckle. "I could ask the same." Suddenly, I am face to face with him. My instinct goes into overdrive and I am pressing in close to him, my gaze nearly level with his. The fury settles into my expression. "Damn it, just tell me what you want from me already!" I demand. "What is it that keeps you coming back? You shouldn't be here, at all, but apparently you're looking for something. The more you come here, and the more I come here, the more complicated things are gonna get. Neither of us needs this, so just spit it out!" My fingers start to tremble. "A fight? Entertainment? Sex? Hell, it doesn't matter, but enough with all this crazy shit. It's driving me mad!" Emmett doesn't reply at first. He doesn't bother to move me away from him, either. His fingertips brush the side of my neck again, stopping my furious rant in its tracks. All of the rage is bottled up and locked away suddenly at his touch. A smile curves on his lips as he holds my gaze again. "I came here to ask you if I could take you out in Seattle tonight. You know, like a date?" I can't say I have been expecting that. I frown, my brows pulling down slightly. "This is another joke, isn't it?" Emmett laughs, dropping his hand. He tilts his head as if he isn't quite sure why I would think that. "No, it isn't." He rakes a hand through his hair, wearing the same easy-going smile. "It's what I came here for. It was worth a shot, even if you're with," he gestures across the river, "them. From what I've seen, you're a badass. And a badass doesn't back away from a challenge." I remain locked in place. I don't move my stare. "I'm dangerous," I tell him slowly, making sure to pronounce each word so they can't be mistaken. "Just my type." Emmett smirks at me knowingly. "Are you really gonna reject me? I mean, I might only be completely heartbroken for the rest of my existence, but if you don't want to. . ." My eyes trace the joking shape of his smile before resting on his eyes. I search the golden hues, probing them for any signs that they can't be trusted. They find nothing but the same light of shining humor, and maybe something more than that. "To hell with it," I murmur. "When should I be back here?" He grins, nodding slowly in approval. His eyes hold mine a moment longer before he turns his back to me, still beaming. "I'll be back at sundown." Emmett darts away then, disappearing into the dense green of the forest. He's just as crazy as I am. It's either that or the dimples, but something is making him completely irresistible. I stand there, mulling over what I have just agreed to. It takes me a few minutes, but I manage to cross back through the river and start to head home. The run home is a slow one. My pace is steady and strong, but I can barely move. Each step drags as if chains are wrapped around my feet. The rain around me is only a drizzle, yet I swear I can hear each little drop splashing into the ground. I clench my teeth, practically flying through the front door of Sam's house. I crash through the living room, heading straight for the shower. Steam escapes as I run the water. Its cloud presses up against the ceiling, frantic for escape. I soak in the muggy feel of it as I slide into the shower, shutting the curtain behind me. My hands instantly snatch up the bottle of shampoo. I squeeze a nice sized puddle into my hand before working it through my hair. A few moments later, the calm patience is gone. I scrub my nails feverishly into my scalp, scraping at the skin. My teeth grind together, heat pulsing off the top of my head. The surge of thoughts and emotions are powerful, fueled by the warmth of the shower. Each feeling swells inside of me and then explodes, sending off a fresh wave of heat. Isn't this how it works in all fairy tales? Doesn't one have to make a sacrifice, follow their gut, and then make things right in the end? Or do the two people fall blindly together, forgetting about everything around them? Does the pack really want me to be cut off and deprived of him, even though he is my imprint, just so that I am folded up in a neat little space inside of me, allowing the monster to take the reins? Or can the pack allow me to take a jump at it? Is it really so bad to go after a change, if the change will benefit the whole tribe? Is this really such a sin? As I dive deeper into my internal battle, thoughts start to flow from the other direction. I barely know this man, yet he has an influence over me. A man that I barely know can flash a smile at me and melt away all of my thoughts that are against him. A man that I barely know can be so important that I will go to the lengths of fighting back my own pack brothers to keep him in one piece. But this man isn't a man. He is my enemy. Is it possible that imprinting is a mind trick? Me, of all people, imprinting on a bloodsucker? This is just like a fight, I realize. I slam my damp back into the wall, both of my hands tangling in my hair, my eyes squeezing shut against the pelt of shower water. To stop the fight, I must first find the source of the attack. The source of the fight is what is allowing the weapons to fly and the blood to be spilled. I think back, flipping through each memory. Meeting eyes with him. Jumping across the line. Racing to find the leech. Gathering in the clearing. Paul's kiss. That first day back with Paul and Jared. Returning home. Being called back home to. . . My eyes snap open as I target the source of all of this. Being called back home to not only kill a leech, but to keep a leech from hurting our dear, precious Bella. Bella Swan. I've seen her face in Jacob's mind time and time again. I don't need to hear the irritated thoughts of the pack to know that he has caused her to be the star of the show while I have been gone. She has entered the picture and become the core of the pack, as if we all orbit around her, surviving to protect her and keep her alive. From what I've seen, her decisions decide how life will go for the rest of us. If she does something stupid, it's never a surprise, but it affects everyone. I don't need to hear those thoughts from the pack mind to know that's how things are—our lives are proof of it. Here the pack is now, laying our lives down for the amazing Bella, running our asses off, and for what? To make sure Bella doesn't get bitten? To make sure sweet, caring, perfect Bella survives, even at the cost that one of us won't? Hell, forget about the rest of us. None of us can ever be as important as Bella. Eventually, I will need to take care of this Bella. I'll set her straight if no other cowering fool can. But first, I need to meet a sworn enemy at the line so that he can take me out. I snort, my fingers slowing and once more working through my hair as I rinse out the shampoo. I can't ever expect a dull moment in life at this point.
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