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Hook's Wendy	By : MarianTheBlackadder Category: M through R > Peter Pan > AU/AR Views: 4195 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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After dinner, Caitlin had sat down on the couch for a few moments; feeling tired and warn out from the events of the day. Having had very little sleep the night before as she watched over James while he slept. It didn’t take very long for her to be out cold. Hook had disappeared out of the cabin on deck for a while, needing a breath of fresh air having been sleeping most of the day.

He looked out over the sea, listening to the slow whine of the timbers as the ship was rocked slowly by the gentle lap of the waves against its sides. He’d reached a stalemate in his conquest for a ‘Wendy’ of his own. Never had he dreamed that he would be the one who could go no further. He could tear a man to shreds, he could look in their eyes and hear their screams of pain and not feel a thing. No pity, no remorse, no sense of regret at all. But in these last few days, he found himself flooded with emotions and feelings that he’d once possessed but had gotten lost along the way. Not with anyone else, he still felt the same towards his crew, and towards Pan. Yet when he was near Caitlin in her waking moments, while they were alone, he felt like someone completely different.

Why then could he not find a way to trust her? She was his wife now, Mrs. James Hook. His eyes narrowed at the feeling of fear and embarrassment that came over him imagining the look in her eyes once his shirt was removed. The look she held for him now was the one he wanted, she looked at him as if he were a man. Just a man like any other, regardless of the limb that was lost, and she seemed completely indifferent to the fact he was a Captain of the ship.

The look of her eyes all the way through dinner was what haunted his mind now. Now it seemed as if she was holding back feelings she held for him, wanting more then he was giving her but willing to stay silent about it. This perhaps was more aggravating then before when she fought him every step of the way. James sighed shaking his head not sure what was going to happen next, nor how to go about it. Turning back towards the Cabin he took a deep breath letting it out slowly, as if he was walking back into the jaws of hell.

Once inside he locked the Cabin doors up for the night, “Caitlin . . . I think perhaps we should discuss. . .” He stopped his sentence short when he turned to see her completely asleep on the couch where he’d slept the night before. Walking slowly towards her seeing the angelic look she held while she dreamt brought a smile to his lips. Perhaps it was images of him that passed through her minds eye as she rested. Reaching down he carefully lifted her feet onto the couch, covering her with a blanket. Tenderly he swept the few strands of hair back from her face, so they would not block his view. It was her turn to sleep tonight, and he’d watch over her.

Suddenly as he gazed at her his smile faded, remembering the mark he’d seen earlier when here clothing had been cut. His eyes shifted towards his desk a moment before looking back at Caitlin. Deciding weather or not she would stay asleep and if it was a good time to bring out perhaps the ledger that held the answers he sought. He had to take the chance, for he felt as if he would go mad if the secrets weren’t revealed. Moving slowly from the couch so as not to wake her, he leaned up blowing the candle out nearest to her so the light would not bother her.

Moving slowly, he entered his office lighting a single candle and placing it on his desk taking out the ledger. Setting it before him he looked around the corner once more to make sure she was sound asleep. She had no movement what so ever, so it was certain he was safe. Quickly moving back to his desk he sat down opening the book with the point of his hook.

“The doctor said that I should keep a journal from now on. He said that since my parents died, it would help me to remember what happened and how I felt about things on a day-to-day basis. That it would help the councilor to know how I was doing and how to help better. He also said that this way, I would have something to do other then laying in bed all day long starring at the ceiling. I suppose that he’s right, and I should keep this journal. I think my mother would have said, ‘make sure that you do everything the doctor tells you to do, Caitlin. It’s the only way you’ll ever get better.’ So I guess this is how I should start. Page One of the rest of my life. . . . .”

Sometime later, he was completely engrossed in a particular chapter near the beginning of the book. His arms began to shake as he forced himself to keep reading, finally closing the book and pushing it away breathing hard. Running his hand over his face he stared wide-eyed at the now closed book. The secrets she had recorded and kept in this book that she never left and always carried by her side were a mixture of things. Several photographs from her childhood, Drawings, stories that she had written, and journal entrees with amazingly detailed descriptions of certain occurrences, including the one that explained the scar down her back.

Starting to reach for it again he pulled his hand back. Hook leaned back in his chair, his eyes staying firmly on the ledger. There were so many things that he didn’t know about her, so many things that he would have never imagined where possible upon just watching her from afar. The entry’s after that just got darker, and more melancholy. For a few brief weeks, it seemed as if she wanted to take her life and end all that she’d been through.

James just sat there starring at the ledger, not because of what he’d read in the book and the dark passages that where kept there at the beginning of the book. But because he’d seen the same words, the same entries and the same anger and pain that pushed her hand to write them and express them on paper. Reaching down quickly he opened another drawer of his desk pulling out a leather bound book, a silver clasp on the leather piece to hold it closed. Turning the pages quickly to a certain page, he reached out for Caitlin’s and opened it once more, laying them side-by-side.

The hand the books had been written in where completely different. Hers seemed much neater and less fancy then James handwriting was, but that was not what he was comparing. He read from hers first,

“ . . . . . There are some days when I have to wonder why I survived. It seemed as if there were some point to surviving before the doctors gave me the news . . . . . who would ever want me now, who is out there that I could possibly want in return after what had happened to me . . . .”

Moving over to the words he’d written so long ago in his own book, reading a similar passage from it,

“. . . .There is no justice in this world, and I must ask myself day by day what the point is of living any longer. . . . . with my hand gone, and no way to retrieve it, I am less of a man now then I had ever been . . . . . I’ve never before thought of companionship before this dreadful occurrence, . . . . but now I know it shall never be . . . . could never be. . . .”

Hook’s eyes moved from the books, perhaps he and this woman where more alike then he imagined. His pain was visible, and something that he could never forget no matter how hard he tried. Lifting his hook before his eyes, he looked over it a moment. He had lost his hand in an unfair twist of fate that allowed a child to indulge his grotesque display of ‘manhood’. Even though the rest of her body had healed from the wound she suffered, she’d lost her ability to produce life of her own, to bare children. “’tis a cruel master that governs our destiny’s my beauty.” He said to himself, before closing the books putting them away. James decided he’d seen more then enough for one night.

Caitlin had not been asleep, yet she’d not seen the books he’d been reading nor the words he’d spoken. Her mind was awash with so many thoughts and feelings. Her dreams had been strange, filled with nightmarish enchantments. While asleep, she dreamt that something terrible had happened to James. Pieced together as dreams often were, she could only remember the terrifying parts and she could see him falling away from her had not being able to catch him as he disappeared into the darkness. Flinging the blanket from her lap she quickly got to her feet, walking into his office area seeing nothing.

It was clear that James was no where to be found. He’d must have gone out on deck for some reason or another. Giving a deep sigh of disappointment, she moved back to the couch and sat down. She began running her fingers through her hair, trying to shake the bad feeling she had in her chest. “I’ve only known him a week. A WEEK!! Why do I get so sick when I think I might lose him, or something bad might happen?”

For Caitlin, the believable romance stories always took weeks or months before they even began to care for each other. At least that was how she thought it was supposed to go in real life. If her father gave her away to this man, then he must have approved and thought he had a lot to offer. Or perhaps he thought, that the Captain may really care for her. She frowned suddenly looking down, “What was my father like?” Closing her eyes, she shook her head lying back down on the couch to try and get some more sleep.

Caitlin had been right in her suspicions, the Captain did go out on deck as he needed some fresh air to process all he’d just learned. A sea of thoughts passed through the Captain’s mind as he stand looking out over the railing. The moon cast an eerie glow over the dark mysterious waters of Neverland. It was beautiful, the sort of scene that would properly be shared with another you cared about greatly. A loud sigh left the Captain at this thought.

Smee had watched Captain Hook since he’d come out of his Cabin earlier in the evening. Finally he took it upon himself to cautiously approach the hot-tempered Captain. “You haven’t slept hardly at all since you and the Misses returned Capt’n. ‘tis not healthy, not right.”

“Shouldn’t you be stealing someone blind, or some other such nonsense, Smee.” The Captain growled like a wounded wolf who did not wish company nor to be touched.

Smee walked closer waiting a few moments before attempting it again. “Why did you marry her Capt’n? You could have just kept her about for a while, when this one didn’t work as she was supposed to you could have found another one.”

Hook gave him a look of total disgust and complete loathing. “Are you this much of a blasted idiot naturally or is it intentional.” He snapped, asking a question that did not require an answer. Rolling his eyes he began to explain, “Pan’s one fatal mistake was that he had nothing to hold “Wendy” here with him. What reason was there for her to stay when he held nothing to offer her? Caitlin cannot leave me as she wears my last name. Hence she belongs to me, and she is the kind of woman who has a sense of proper duty, and will not leave her husbands side until judgment day.” The last sentence he spoke was not as confident as the rest of his words. He paused a moment pondering weather or not she would really act as a wife would when she did not choose her husband.

Shaking his head he continued, “As I now have a bride, I think “Alone” and “Done For” holds no sway over me. He can shout it and say it until he turns blue in the face for it’s simply no longer true. Nothing can be done about my age, but what does it matter. I can not grow any older as long as we’re trapped here. As Pan chooses to remain a boy for all his days, the young fool will never know what treasures a wait within a woman’s soft skin, and a marriage bed.” He said proudly with a slight smirk, as if to imply that he’d already enjoyed a husband’s right to his wife.

Smee was not as dim witted as the rest of the crew, hence the reason he was the first mate. The captain had been even more frightful and his rage more fierce since he returned. It grew worse, if that were even possible, since there wedding day. He’d even gone as far as to lock his bride away in a cell after dragging her across the ship. Also he suspected that the Captain would not be out there now in the middle of the night, had things worked out as he had planned. “Aye, tis a good plan. But Capt’n, there are many women out there that would have gladly accepted your name and taken her place in your bed, instead of turning you out night after night.” Hook’s eyes turned sharply looking at Smee, a look of shock and anger flashing past them. However, Smee did not catch this look in good time. “Now if you’d like,” Leaning in a bit closer towards Hook, looking from left to right before speaking in a near whisper, “The hellcat can have a bit of an accident, and you can find another more fitting that acts as a woman should. Not to mention . . . .”

Smee’s words stopped abruptly, as Hook had spun about holding his favorite weapon to his foolish first mates throat ready to slice him open from ear to ear. “You festering, revolting, maggot. There is no other woman on the face of the planet that was fit to be at my side and wear my name. There was no other I wanted more then she. I wanted a wife with a spark of intelligence and the beauty of a Goddess. Not a mindless whore whose been taken by more men then there are stars in the bloody sky!!! She is clean, she is pure, and she is my wife!” He snarled pressing the tip of his hook further into Smee’s skin, slight beads of blood welling where it was cutting his skin.

“If you would like to discover what your body would look like without a head, by all means, let that thought pass by your tragically small brain again.” There was a look of seriousness, but underlying pure madness in James eyes. One that Smee had no desire to test, nor to provoke.

“Y. . . y. . . yes. . . . Capt’n . . . . . yes. . . . I was only wanting to help s . .s. . .sir.” He said feeling the wound growing just a bit as he stretched his neck as far as it would go trying to keep from getting cut.

“Well DON’T!” He shouted not moving and continuing to hold his First Mate in a threatening position. “I am a grown man, and the Captain of this vessel. Do you honestly think that I can not handle my own affairs?” There was a slight tint of red in his eyes, although not the full blown bright crimson that signaled someone’s grizzly death. “What goes on between myself and my wife does not concern anyone on this ship. You have all been trying my patients, with the opinion that I should hang her over the side as a meal for some beastly creature. There had better not be any more talk of “accidents” occurring. I’ll take everyone on this ship apart piece by piece, and burn the corpses on the deck so that your ashes blacken the sky, and the smell of burning flesh turns every living creatures stomach in all of Neverland.” His eyes narrowed at Smee, waiting for an answer. “Is that perfectly clear, Mr. Smee?”

All he could do was nod, there was no way he could push words out. His eyes closed as he’d moved all the way up to his tiptoes trying to prevent his throat being opened to the night air. Growling, hook pushed him away. “Get back to your post!!” He yelled turning back to the railing trying to calm his temper. This was getting utterly ridiculous. She’d done nothing to any of these idiots, why was she being blamed for anything their small minds could come up with? Growling once more to himself, he turned and headed back to his Cabin.
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Hook's Wendy