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Destiny Awaits	By : Lollydolly Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Jasper Views: 19535 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
An: A heady mix of blackmail and bribery convinced me to put this up now, it was going to be longer, but I decided to put up what I’ve got for now.
As always, thank you for the wonderful reviews, hope you enjoy.
Chapter Thirteen
Bella
“Jasper?” I swallowed down a fresh wave of sobs, trying not to sound as pathetic as I felt.
“Bella?” I hadn’t done a very good job of hiding my emotions, he already sounded worried.
“Are you... busy?”
His answer made me feel ten times better. “I’ll be there in ten minutes. Leave the window open.”
I ran into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face to hide the fact that I’d been crying. It didn’t really work, it just made my cheeks as red and blotchy as my eyes. Huffing at myself in the mirror and running a brush through my hair, I wondered why I was bothering.
Jasper wouldn’t actually care what I looked like, and he’d be able to tell how upset I was before he even got into the room. I realised that I was making an effort because I didn’t want him to see me looking a mess. Should I care or was I being stupid?
Back in my room I opened up the new frame and set it out on the bed ready to slot in the picture. I wanted him to sign it first.
Sitting in the rocking chair near the window I wrapped my arms around myself. I glanced at the clock, it had been six minutes. Four minutes left, that wasn’t too bad.
I used to like being on my own, peace and quiet and solitude. The Cullen's had cured me of that, I hated being alone now that I’d grown used to having so many people around all the time. I dreaded to think how I’d cope next time it was sunny on a school day.
Two minutes. The window was wide open, and I’d moved the rocking chair to face it. Ten minutes had never passed more slowly in my whole life. I glared at the clock, willing it to tick over to the next minute.
Jasper landed in front of me a whole minute and a half before he was due. “What is it? What’s happened?”
I couldn’t do anything but fling myself straight at his chest and start crying again. I tried uselessly to stem the flow of my tears. I had hoped Jasper would distract me for a while, I felt like an idiot for crying all over him.
“Please Bella, tell what’s wrong. Are you in trouble for going shopping with us?” Jasper asked, one hand stroking my hair and the other on the small of my back.
I was thankful when I felt calm washing over me, it helped me pull myself together long enough to answer him. “I had an argument with Edward... and sort of... broke up with him... for a while.”
The flow of calm stopped and Jaspers arms fell away from me. “So you’ve called me here to say goodbye?” He stepped away from me and sat down on the edge of the bed and stared down at the carpet. “Are you going back to Phoenix?”
He brought me right back to my senses. “No, why would you think that. I’m not going anywhere.” I sat on his lap facing him. “I just wanted some company.”
“Oh.” Was his only answer, as he hugged me to him tightly.
“Why would I leave?” He didn’t answer me. “I broke up with Edward, not Forks, and certainly not the Cullen's.”
He chuckled against my hair and let me go. “Sorry, I seem to be suffering from separation anxiety.”
He was trying to laugh it off, but it was obvious that he was still struggling to cope with Alice leaving. “Jasper I think you need to try to believe that just because she left you doesn’t mean everyone else will. I promise I never will, as long as you want me, you’ve got me. In fact, even if you don’t want me around you’re pretty much stuck with me now.”
I tried to think about how much I cared for him, so that he could feel it, and watched the smile light up his face. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
“Of course I mean it, what would be the point in pretending?” I rolled my eyes at him and decided I hadn’t yelled at Alice nearly enough when I’d spoken to her last. She had made him question his worth in everyone’s eyes, because he had meant so little to the woman he’d thought he meant the most to.
“So? What were you doing when I called?” I was worried I had interrupted something important.
“Just thinking.” He shrugged.
“What were you thinking about?”
He hesitated, looking nervous. “You. I was wondering if you’d mind if I called so soon after seeing you.”
_________________________________
Jasper
She looked... hurt. She felt sad, and just a little bit angry. Why would she be upset that I was thinking about calling her?
“You can call me whenever you want to. Although I should warn you that if you call me in the middle of night I might be a bit grumpy and say things that don’t make any sense. I told you to call me whenever you wanted to talk.”
“I didn’t hesitate to call you at all when I needed a hug just now did I? And I expect the same from you.” She sighed. “We’re supposed to be friends, so you’ve got to start trusting me a bit more. When I say I want you around, I mean it. I’m not going to get angry or stop liking you just because you want to talk to me. It makes me like you more, it’s nice to feel needed.”
I knew what she meant about feeling needed. I was thrilled she’d called me. Me, of all the people she could have chosen. I felt useful, worthy. Maybe I could help her the way she had helped me.
When she’d told me that she and Edward had split, I’d felt a little thrill. That needed to be crushed quickly. She wanted some comfort, the last thing she needed was me trying to slip into Edwards place. Besides, they’d probably be back together by this time next week. I doubted they would even last that long apart.
My feelings were nothing really, just a little crush. If I ignored it, it would fade away. Hopefully. I needed her too much to let my feelings get in the way.
“I’m sorry, I’m just not used to this. Even with Alice, she often wanted time on her own. I’ve never really had a real friend outside of the family, it’s difficult to know what to do sometimes. It’s like learning to fit in with a new culture, I’m not sure of what’s acceptable and what isn’t.” I tried to explain my reasoning, carefully leaving out my worries that I would push her away.
“I don’t think there are any rules to friendship Jasper, it’s like love, you just do what feels right. I don’t think I’m likely to get sick of you. I always feel better when you’re around.” She blushed and ducked her head, embarrassed.
I think she was worried that she would scare me away with the depth of her feelings, but the opposite was true. The more she made me feel wanted, the more I wanted her.
As a friend. Only as a friend. I had to keep reminding myself of that. Alice had been gone such a short time, I shouldn’t already be thinking about someone new. Especially if that someone was Bella. I still loved Alice, and I missed her terribly, but I knew I could live without her. As long as I had Bella.
She didn’t lie to me, her words always corresponded with her feelings, but sometimes it was hard to believe that she really did accept me for who I was. No one else ever had. For sixty years I had been told I could do better, that I must try harder. I had put a strain on Alice and on the whole family.
Bella only ever wanted me to be happier, something that came easily to me in her presence. Most things were easier with her by my side. I had become so used to the delicious smell of her blood that it hardly bothered me at all anymore, and all the other humans I came into contact with were nowhere near as appetising.
Control, the one thing that I had struggled with my whole life, was now something I gave no thought to. I could trust myself to walk around town unaccompanied, knowing that I wasn’t going to slip. If I could resist Bella I could resist anyone.
It was a cruel irony really, that the biggest problem between Alice and I had been cured just as she’d had enough. I wondered if I’d made an effort to get to know Bella sooner, Alice might have stayed. Would she have let the vision go if she had been happy?
Bella was staring at me, her face a few inches away from mine. “What?” I asked, worried about how long I’d been lost in my own little world.
“I’m your first friend?” She was happy about that, she looked like I’d given her a present.
“You are.” I chuckled. “First and best.”
“Good. So, as I’m your best friend, I think you should hang that picture for me. Sign it first though, and I want your real name.” She ordered.
I waited for her to get off my lap. She didn’t move. “Bella? For me to hang the picture you’d actually have to let me stand up.” I smiled.
“Oh right.” She stuttered, blushing. “Sorry.”
I watched her stumble over to the rocking chair, muttering something unintelligible under her breath. My drawing was stretched out across the desk, the ends curling inwards. I found a pen and put my signature in the bottom corner, just below Esme’s feet. J. Whitlock. It had been a while since I’d signed anything in that name.
I could feel her eyes on me as I set the picture into the frame. “Where do you want it?” I asked over my shoulder.
Bella came over to the bed and stood behind me, I could feel the warmth of her body, and knew she was standing less than an inch away from me. If I moved back just a little we would be touching, and I had to fight the impulse to do just that.
I needn’t have worried, as Bella leaned against me of her own accord. “I want it right in the middle above my bed. I’ve got some nails, will two be enough? I can find some more.”
I sucked in a breath, trying to ignore the way the contours of her body were pressed against my back. She had no idea what she was doing to me. I struggled to focus on her question. “Um, two should be fine.”
“It looks good.” She whispered resting her chin on my shoulder to see the picture in the frame. Her warm breath flitted across my neck, and then she was gone, rummaging through her closet. I felt bereft.
Closing my eyes I thought of Alice, hoping that would distract me from the warmth so near to me. It didn’t help, thinking of Alice only made my need to hold Bella stronger. Hanging the picture, that would take at least one part of my mind away from thinking about Bella.
I pushed the nails into the wall with my thumb and heard Bella chuckling behind me. I hung the huge frame on the wall and stepped back to look at it.
Bella came to stand beside me, and I felt her happiness tickling at my own. “It’s perfect.” She said, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She’d told me to do what felt right, and this did. She rested her head against my shoulder, still smiling up at the picture.
It felt peaceful, standing here with her like this. More right than anything else I’d ever felt. I didn’t want it to ever end. But it would have to soon.
“Carlisle asked me to ask you if you’d go to the hospital after school tomorrow.” I told her, still holding on, hoping she wouldn’t move.
No such luck, she pulled away to face me, her nervousness the predominant emotion. “Why? Why would he want me to come to the hospital? I hate hospitals, all that blood.” She shuddered.
“I don’t know why, he didn’t say, but don’t worry, he doesn’t bite you know.” I laughed.
“I know.” She scowled, but I knew she appreciated my attempt at a joke. “What could he possibly want to talk to me about? I see him at the house often enough.”
“I expect he’d just like to talk to you without being interrupted or overheard.” I was curious too, Carlisle didn’t usually hide anything from the family if he could help it, so whatever he had to say must only concern Bella.
Bella took my hand and fiddled with the bracelet I still wore. I wondered if she knew exactly what the beads meant. I held onto it like a promise, hoping she knew and that she’d given it to me as more than a just a trade. Love... Friendship... Eternity...

“You don’t have to wear this all the time” She said quietly. “I wouldn’t be offended if you took it off.” Yes she would, her emotions told me clearly how much it pleased her to see it on my wrist.
“I like it.” I smiled, receiving a beautiful smile in return.
“I’m going to take a shower.” Bella said eventually. “You don’t have to stay.”
I was thankful for my gift yet again, as it let me read how much she didn’t mean that last statement. “It works both ways Bella. If you need me, I’ll be here.” I said softly.
Her shoulder slumped with relief and she smiled tiredly. She was still upset by her argument with Edward, and I could easily understand her need for some company. “Thank you.” She whispered slipping out of the room.
While I waited I looked through her collection of books. She had good, if a little eclectic, taste. I settled on the bed with the only book I hadn’t read before, but didn’t get further than the first page. I could just make out the steady rhythm of her breathing and heartbeat over the drumming of the water.
It fascinated me. Every so often her heart would speed up a little, or her breathing would hitch and I’d focus on reading her emotions. Mostly, I felt sadness, but sometimes excitement, nerves and guilt would swirl together perplexingly.
The scent of her skin, almost, but not quite masked by shampoo floated into the room itching my throat.
I smiled again thinking about how easy it was to resist now. Not so long ago the thought of her blood, heated by the shower would have had me at the door before the smell even reached me.
Her blood wasn’t the problem now, but I did have a strong desire to walk into that bathroom. I shook my head and tried to get back into the book.
After five minutes I heard her hairdryer and relaxed knowing she’d be back in here soon. Would she be bothered to find me sprawled out on her bed? I didn’t think so, but I didn’t want to assume too much so I sat up and straightened the quilt. If she wanted me to stay here again she would ask.
When she walked back into the room I forgot to breathe and simply stared. She had changed into long white satin pants and a matching tank top. She looked like an angel as she glided towards the bed and sat opposite me.
“Jasper? Is something wrong?”
I tried to find my voice, but it was difficult surrounded by her scent with her looking so perfect. I swallowed and said the first thing that came into my head. “You dazzled me.”
I regretted it instantly, it was the truth, but had I just given away my feelings? She felt pleased and proud, but it was quickly outweighed by guilt and self-consciousness as she wrapped her arms around herself.
“I’m sorry, should I change? Am I making you uncomfortable?” She worried her lip waiting for my answer.
“No, don’t change, I’m sorry, you just looked like an angel.” Shut up! Why couldn’t I ever manage to keep my thoughts to myself around her?
To my amazement she relaxed instead of running away from me and smiled. She blushed, but I knew she was pleased. “Do you remember?” She asked. “I said that to you not so long ago.”
I’m a monster I’d said, and she told me I looked like an angel.
“I remember.” I settled back against the pillows, amazed at my good fortune. I hadn’t offended her, or scared her, in fact, she’d taken it as a compliment.
She scooted closer to me fitting herself in the space between my body and the wall, and pulled the quilt over her. I sensed her hesitancy. “What?”
“Would you mind staying?” She mumbled. “If you want go, I don’t mind. I know it’s not much fun hanging about here.”
“I’d love to stay.” I told her seriously, pulling the quilt over myself so she could tuck herself into my side more comfortably.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you from anything important.” There was no conviction in her words, only a sleepy security. She already knew I wasn’t going anywhere.
Why would I want to be anywhere else? There was nowhere better than this.
“Go to sleep Bella.” I chuckled, wrapping my arm around a little more to rub her shoulder. I used my gift to help her relax and breathed in an out in time with her.
“Love you.” She muttered, as the last vestiges of consciousness left her.
“Love you too.” I whispered back, knowing she wouldn’t hear, but needing to say it.
Friendship was like love, she’d told me. And as I held my sleeping angel I agreed completely. Friendship was very much like love indeed.
_______________________________________
Bella
“Bella, wake up.” The voice was far away, and I wished it would go even further. No such luck. “Wake up, Emmett’s downstairs.” Jasper. I felt myself smile, he’d stayed all night.
“I know you’re awake.” He chuckled, shaking my shoulder. “Emmett is downstairs and he’s talking to Charlie.”
That woke me up properly. I opened my eyes and squinted against the pale light. I tried to sit up, but found I’d become somewhat tangled up with Jasper in the night. My legs were wrapped around his, and I was laying half on top of him. Squeezing my eyes shut I tried to fight down my blush. The problem wasn’t so much the position I was in, as that fact that I was comfortable in it. I liked it, even.
Staying exactly where I was seemed like a brilliant plan, but apparently Jasper had other ideas. My shirt had ridden up in the night, and Jasper took advantage of that to tickle the exposed skin of my back.
I wriggled away from him trying to stifle my laughter so Charlie wouldn’t come up to investigate. “I’m awake! I’m getting up!” I gasped.
Getting out of bed without falling flat on my face seemed impossible, so I just sat up to lean against the wall. “Why is Emmett here? Actually, why is Charlie still here? He’s usually gone by the time I get up.”
“Emmett knocked on the front door about twenty minutes ago and asked Charlie if he could make you breakfast. I have a feeling your dad was thinking about getting his gun, he was quite angry and very worried. Emmett had to explain that you’d helped him make up with Rose and he’s been telling Charlie stories about Rose ever since. I think he’s trying to escape, but Emmett hasn’t shut up yet.” Jasper was shaking with laughter as he spoke.
I sniffed the air experimentally. I knew Emmett couldn’t cook, but I could smell bacon and eggs, so either Charlie had helped, or I was in for some food poisoning.
Jasper started laughing again as I heard the front door open and shut. Charlie pulled the cruiser out of the drive and down the street much more quickly than usual. I guessed he was worried Emmett would start talking again if he didn’t make his escape quickly enough.
I could hear whistling coming from the kitchen now, swiftly followed by something smashing and a loud exclamation of “Shit!”.
I groaned and burrowed back down under the covers. Maybe if I went back to sleep, someone would kindly get rid of Emmett and clean up whatever mess he’d made in the kitchen.
Jasper scooted down under the quilt to join me. “Bella.” He sang, his breath tickling my ear. “He won’t go away. He’ll be up here in a minute and besides, you do actually have to get ready for school at some point.”
I gave my best shot at a growl and snuggled closer to him, still intent on going back to sleep. I was very nearly then when I heard the tell-tale creek of my door.
“Breakfast!” Emmett yelled, probably hoping to wake me up. Jasper chuckled quietly, but we didn’t move. “You better be decent.” Emmett muttered by way of a warning half a second before he hauled the blanket of the bed.
I rolled onto my back so I could glare up at him and found him smirking at Jasper. “Dude!” He laughed, “Edward is going to tear you limb from limb!”
I sat up and tossed my pillow at his head, feeling distinctly jealous when he dodged it, and managed to keep a plate of breakfast and a glass of juice stable at the same time. “We didn’t do anything, idiot.”
He raised an eyebrow then shrugged and sat cross legged on the end of the bed. The mattress groaned under the extra weight. “Charlie helped with the food, so you have to eat it.” He told me setting the plate on my knees.
I had to admit, it did look pretty good. Crispy bacon, scrambled eggs and toast that was only slightly burnt. “Last night went well then?” I asked and tucked into my food.
“Like you wouldn’t believe” He beamed at us. “We nearly sank the boat! And you should have seen the Captain hiding in his cabin, it was so funny. Carlisle had to come and get us this morning, because we had to pay for the damages and he wouldn’t accept any of Rosie’s credit cards. Man was Carlisle pissed, but I tell you it was worth it.”
“Oh and Rose told me to thank you both.” He added.
“You told her we helped?” I asked around a mouthful of toast. “How well did that go down?”
“Well see, first I told her I did it on my own, but she didn’t believe me. So I had to tell her the truth and she wasn’t pleased at first, but then we had angry sex, and everyone knows that's the best kind. So she was happy in the end. And get this, she put the engine back in the jeep three days ago and didn’t tell me! I can’t believe I didn’t check.”
“What are you doing here then Jasper?” Emmet asked after he’d finished regaling us with tales of his escapades.
I saw Jasper glancing sideways at me, waiting for some cue that it was ok to share the story. I nodded, finishing the last scoopful of eggs.
“Bella was a bit upset last night. Edward was here when she got home yesterday and they had an argument. They’ve split up for a week.” He told Emmett.
“Wow, I bet he took that well.” He laughed. That was so like Emmett, totally unfazed by what he was hearing. “I suppose that’s why he didn’t come home last night. Carlisle asked us if we’d seen him this morning.”
Where had he been? Had he left the area completely? Or worse, had he been hovering outside here all night, checking up on me as usual? I didn’t want to know.
“Anyway, enough about brood-boy. I’ve got a present for you.” Emmett announced making us laugh.
He took a crumpled brown bag out from behind his back and handed it to me. I hated getting presents, but I had a feeling that expensive things didn’t come in paper bags so I wasn’t too worried.
I took the bag from him and dropped it immediately when I realized that it was damp. “What is it?”
Emmett reached into the bag and pulled out a small stuffed pig in alarming shade of green. “You wanted one remember? You said so in your sleep.”
I took it from him hesitantly. “Thank you Emmett, but why is it wet?”
“Shops in Forks don’t really have a very big selection so I had to dye it, it’ll be dry soon enough, just put it in the window.” He said, as if dying toy pigs green was a perfectly normal, everyday thing to do.
I smiled down at the little toy, it was actually quite cute. I had never really wanted a pig, but I appreciated the gesture.
“That's very sweet. I love it.” I told him.
“Him. It’s a him not an it. He’s called Emmett junior.” He said seriously. I couldn’t control my laughter.
“You named my pig after yourself?” I gasped knocking my plate to the floor as I shook. Jasper picked it up and put it on the side table, laughing himself.
“Where’s my present?” Jasper asked once he’d calmed down. “I helped too.”
“I won’t tell Eddie where I found you this morning.” Emmett snickered. “Will that do?”
I went to the bathroom to get ready while they squabbled. After a while I heard them cleaning up in the kitchen, and then the sounds of the TV.
Back in my room I scooped up my school bag and books and put ‘Emmett junior’ in front of the open window to dry out.
“I’m driving today Bella.” Emmett shouted as I walked downstairs. “My baby needs the exercise.”
“I’ll still have to take my truck. I need to go to the hospital after school.”
“I’ll drop you at the hospital and Carlisle can take you home after.” He offered, I wondered if he knew why I was going to the hospital, or if as usual, he was happy enough not knowing.
Jasper opened the car door for my and lifted my effortlessly up into the seat. My skin burned where his hands had brushed against it. I told myself that my reaction was only due to the fact that his hands were cold, and they had shocked me, but I’d been having similar reactions to him a lot recently and it was starting to worry me.
_________________________________
Edward was standing by his car waiting for us, and I suddenly felt awfully guilty. How must he be feeling? I’d practically broken up with him last night, and this morning he finds me laughing and joking with his brothers. Surely they should be sympathising with him, not me.
His face was expressionless as we walked over to join him. I hadn’t really thought about what it would be like to see him today. I didn’t know how to act around him, usual I would have hugged him or kissed him, but that wouldn’t work now.
“Morning bro” Emmett said, thumping his arm.
“Emmett. Jasper.” He nodded at each of them, and then turned to me. “Good morning Isabella.”
His use of my full name hurt, he had never called me that before, I had been Bella since the very first time he had spoken to me. He’d obviously decided that we weren’t going to try being friends.
“Hello Edward.” I whispered. I’d meant it to sound blasé, like I wasn’t bothered, but my hurt must have shown through, as both Emmett and Jasper stepped closer to me.
I watched Edwards eyes flick coldly from one brother to another, his face still blank, before he turned abruptly and walked away from us. Math was first today, and I was glad to have Emmett and Jasper as buffers.
Edward was at our table when we walked in, but he’d moved his chair as far away from the others as possible.
He didn’t as much as look at us throughout the whole lesson, but Jasper and Emmett carried on as normal. I wondered if they were used to Edward being in moods like this.
In biology I gained a new appreciation for the phrase ‘cold shoulder’. Edward turned himself away from me the way he had in our very first lesson together.
“Please talk to me?” I begged after a torturous half hour of silence had passed.
“What would you like me to say?” He said pleasantly, turning his stone face towards me. I couldn’t find an answer, so he spent the rest of the lesson carefully pretending I didn’t exist.
He wasn’t very good at it, every time I moved he would stiffen and mover further away from me. I was quite tempted to kick him, but knew I would only hurt myself. Besides, this was my fault really, he hadn’t asked me to break up with him, and I knew I must have hurt him very badly. Having said that he’d been around for over a century, I expected him to be a little more grown up.
Lunch was the worst. No one spoke for the first ten minutes, our table seemed to be stuck in a bubble of silence that even the noise of the other students couldn’t penetrate.
Emmett was content drawing patterns on his plate in ketchup beside me, while the rest of us snuck glances at each other. Every time I saw Jasper looking at me I felt a little thrill, and tried to squash it down in case he could feel it.
After a few agonising minutes of this, Edwards head snapped up to glare at Emmett, his face furious.
“Oops.” Emmett said, looking straight at Jasper.
“Jasper, get outside now.” Edward demanded quietly. I gathered Emmett must have been thinking about this morning, and Edward had got the wrong idea.
“No.” I couldn’t let them go out, if they went outside where they couldn’t be seen they would end up fighting. “Please Edward, calm down. Nothing happened. Tell him Jasper.”
“If he wants to fight me, I’ll give him a shot.” Jasper said, rising to his feet with Edward.
I shot up and ran around the table to stand between them. I only had a chance at calming them down while they were still inside the building. “Edward please don’t do this. I was upset and he was only there to keep me company. Please sit down.”
Edward looked between the two us, his face unreadable again. I reached out for his hand, but he stepped away from me. “I’m warning you Jasper. If I find you in bed with my girl ever again, you won’t live long enough to hide behind her.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed the floor would swallow me. Edward had spoken loud enough for everyone at the closest tables to hear. In minutes the whole school would think I was having an affair with Jasper Hale. Not only my boyfriend’s brother, but my best friend’s boyfriend. I wondered how long it would take to get back to Charlie.
While I was busy trying to calm my flaming face, and pluck up the courage to open my eyes Edward swept out, Emmett rounded the table and grabbed hold of Jasper to stop him tearing after Edward.
I opened my eyes and stared at the space Edward had stood, feeling Jasper and Emmett struggling behind me.
Every eye in the room was turned towards us, watching avidly for the next scene in the Cullen saga. Slowly, I turned around and put my hand on Jaspers chest, he stopped fighting immediately. Emmett let go and sat back down.
Jasper stared at me as I slumped back into my seat. “Why didn’t you let me go after him?” He asked sliding into the seat opposite me.
I couldn’t think of a single possible good outcome if he’d followed Edward. “Have you lost your mind?” I snapped. “You’d have either killed each other, or been exposed and have to leave.”
“So you didn’t want Edward to get hurt.” He said morosely sliding into his own seat and giving the table a glare that could have withered stone.
“Are you deliberately twisting my words? I didn’t want you to get hurt.” I sighed. “Right now I wouldn’t much care if I never saw him again.” I knew I didn’t really mean that but I was so angry with him. He didn’t trust me at all.
“Uh, sorry guys, I guess that was my fault.” Emmett said sheepishly.
Jasper broke into a smile. “You’ll have to get me another present.”
_____________________________________
“Hi, I’m here to see Dr Cullen. Could you tell me where I might find him?” I asked the nurse on reception. I knew I sounded less than polite, but I was still reeling from school. I’d spent the last period studiously ignoring the whispering and giggles and sidelong glances.
Edward had left the school entirely, we assumed he’d gone home, but I didn’t care where he was. All I wanted was to go home and relax, and hopefully get to Charlie and give him some sort of explanation before the rumours got round to him. News travelled fast in Forks. The more scandalous it was the faster it spread.
The story of the chief’s daughter seeing two brothers at once was probably the best bit of gossip Forks had seen in years. Charlie would have a heart attack when he heard.
The red haired nurse looked up at me disdainfully. “Do you have an appointment?” She sneered.
“No, I don’t but Dr Cullen will want to see me. If you could just tell me where I can find him, I’ll be out of your way.” I tried not to sound as annoyed as I felt.
“No one see’s Dr Cullen without an appointment. He’s a very busy man.” The way she said it showed me quite clearly that she had feelings for Carlisle. I guessed he had that affect on a lot of the women who worked here. “If you’d like to give me your details I’ll see when he can fit you in.”
“Never mind about that Katy, I’ve been expecting Bella.” Carlisle said, appearing at my side. The nurse’s expression shifted immediately to a simpering smile that had me giggling. “I’ll be in my office if there’s an emergency, but if not, I’d like to be left undisturbed.”
“Yes Dr Cullen.” The nurse breathed, her eyes glazed.
Carlisle led me away from her and through the hospital. I knew it would take me forever to find my way back out on my own. Eventually we came to his office, it took much longer than it should have, as everybody we passed had something to say to the renowned Dr Cullen.
His office was a lot like his study at home, but not quite as comfortable, and I felt a twinge of nervousness as he offered me a chair. I was like being in the Principal’s office. I wondered for perhaps the hundredth time today why he wanted to speak to me.
“I suspect you’re wondering why I asked to meet you here rather than speaking to you at home. It’s only that I wanted to get your opinion on a few things without any of my children trying to influence you. Relax Bella.” He laughed. “You aren’t in trouble.”
I nodded, anxiously waiting to find out what he could possibly want my opinion on.
“First, I wanted to know how you think Jasper is coping.” He steepled his fingers and looked at me over them, waiting patiently for me to gather my thoughts.
This was easy. “I think he’s doing quite well. He still misses her very much, and sometimes I see him staring at nothing looking sad, but most of the time he’s quite happy.”
“Really? Are you aware of how he behaves at home?” He asked.
“I don’t know, about the same I’d guess.”
“He doesn’t speak. To any of us. After school, he’ll play games with Emmett, or talk to Esme, but within an hour he goes up to his room and sketches in that pad, or reads in his study. We don’t see anything of him again until he leaves for school. He cuts himself off from us, and when we try to engage him, he gives us the barest recognition and goes back to whatever he was doing.”
It was horrible to think of Jasper sitting at home alone, it was difficult to imagine that he could be so despondent after I’d spent a day laughing and joking with him.
“Sometimes he sits staring at the wall for hours. He’s always been a stoic person, but I haven’t seen him smile once this week. Can you think of any reason why he would be acting this way at home?” Carlisle's voice was gentle, coaxing, but I couldn’t help him.
“I don’t know. He’s happy at school most of the time. He smiles, laughs even. Maybe the house reminds him of Alice too much, he’s comfortable enough at my house.” It was the only explanation I could think of.
“I think it has more to do with you than Alice, and Esme agrees. She told me about what happened when we went hunting, and I find it hard to believe that anything less very deep feelings for you could have stopped him from biting you. He acts as if you’re all he has, it’s not the memory of Alice that hurts him so much, I think it’s the absence of you.”
I sat digesting what he was saying. I didn’t believe that Jasper was so depressed at home simply because I wasn’t with him, that was ridiculous. I shook my head at Carlisle. “I know he cares about me very much, but he could live without me. That can’t be what’s upsetting him so much. In any case, I’ve told him that if he wants me he can call at any time.”
“I think he might be afraid of scaring you away if he shows you how dependant he has become. Which brings me to my next point. Edward was here at lunch time, and he told me that you and Jasper have become something of an item, and that you have broken up with him, presumably for this reason.”
“If he would just have waited two minutes and let us explain...” I sighed. “I asked Edward for a week of separation after we argued last night. Things between us have been strained for a while now, and I snapped. After Edward left, I was upset so I called Jasper and he stayed with me. Emmet found us together this morning, and when Edward saw it in his head he got the wrong idea. As usual.”
I knew I sounded petulant, but I was sick of having to explain myself.
“I thought as much.” Carlisle laughed surprising me. “Where you’re concerned, Edward isn’t very level headed. That still raises some questions though. If you and Edward are to split permanently, what do you intend to do?”
“I haven’t really thought that far ahead.” I admitted. I’d been trying not to think about what would happen at the end of the week.
“What I mean is, would you still wish to continue as a part of the family?”
That shocked me. I had given no thought as to what the break-up would mean in that regard. “Would you still want me?” I squeaked, horrified at the thought that I might lose them all.
“Of course we would. You mean a great deal to us. Esme especially, would be very difficult to live with if you were to disappear from our lives.” He chuckled, relaxing me. “I ask because, and I don’t mean to scare you or make you feel obliged to do anything, but because I have a very strong feeling that if Jasper was completely cut off from you he would fall apart. I think he would revert to the animal he became when Alice left. If not for you he would probably still be in that state.”
My throat tightened, I couldn’t bear to even think about Jasper in that state again. “I’ve already promised him I won’t leave. I love all of you, but Jasper is my best friend, I couldn’t stand to lose him either.”
Carlisle seemed satisfied by that, but he still looked troubled. “What is it?” I asked. “What aren’t you saying?”
“Don’t worry about it, I’m just thinking.” I didn’t believe him, but I didn’t know him well enough to try and worm it out of him.
“Now, the last thing I wanted to talk to you about is your shield. I’m sure you’ve heard us mention the Denali clan? Four of them were hoping to visit soon, and I’ve asked them if they would like to come on Thursday and stay until Monday. I was wondering if you would be willing to meet them.”
This was interesting, from what I’d heard, the Denali’s were vegetarians too, so it would be quite safe to meet them. I knew Carlisle wouldn’t even ask if he didn’t think so. It would be nice to meet the Cullen's friends. “I’d like that.” I said.
“They are quite curious about you, I believe Laurent told them that we were keeping a pet human. I can’t wait to see their reactions when they see you ordering Edward about. I particularly want you to meet Eleazar, he has a talent for reading others gifts. He might be able to confirm our theories.”
“What if it isn’t me blocking Edward from Jaspers thoughts?” I asked. “What if it’s something else?”
“It doesn’t really matter, as far as I can see, it’s a good thing, it isn’t hurting anyone.” He told me. “Emmett called and said you would need a lift home, and I’m due off in a few minutes. Why don’t I take you downstairs and you can get something to drink while I finish up?”
He took me to a drinks machine near the entrance and left me. I didn’t dare move for fear I’d end up lost. While I was enjoying a cold soda, the nurse Carlisle had called Katy came up to me. “Still here?” She asked plastering on a fake smile.
I couldn’t quite resist teasing her. “I’m just waiting for Carlisle to take me home.” I smiled.
I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing as she looked at me shock and dismay written clearly on her face.
“He’s married you know!” She whispered waspishly.
“Strangely enough I did know. I’m dating his son.” I took pity on her and told her the truth.
“Oh.” She said, clearly wrong footed. “I’m sorry, I thought you were...never mind. Which one are you with?”
She’d had some sort of personality transplant, suddenly smiling and interested in my life. Now she knew I wasn’t competition she was being very friendly. Perhaps she was the one who needed to be reminded that Carlisle had a lovely wife at home.
I was saved from answering as he came back to collect me. Katy waved us off with a beaming smile.
“I think you have an admirer.” I giggled once we were in the car.
“Oh yes?” He laughed.
“That nurse, Katy, she warned me off you, told me you were married.”
Carlisle shook his head, chuckling. “I’m old enough to be your great, great, great, great grandfather, and then some. What did you tell her?”
“I told her I was dating your son. You wouldn’t believe how nice she suddenly became.”
“That sounds like Katy. She’s actually not so bad when she isn’t scaring away visitors. She’s the only human I’ve ever met that has managed to scare me, but you mustn’t tell anyone I said that.” He smiled and winked.
“Carlisle? Could you do me a favour?” I asked, feeling more comfortable with him now.
“Probably.” He smiled.
“Could you not tell Jasper that you know about what happened at the weekend? He was very upset with himself, ashamed. I think he would feel worse if he thought you knew.”
“I won’t mention it. There’s no need. What’s passed is passed.” He had a quiet confidence in his voice that you couldn’t help but trust. I knew he would do as I had asked.
______________________________________________
When I got home I found Charlie in my room, glaring up at the picture above my bed. Great, the rumours had reached him already. It was time for damage control.
An: I’d love some feedback on Bella’s conversation with Carlisle. I don’t like it, but I can’t figure out what's wrong with it, so let me know. Criticism welcome x
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Destiny Awaits