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Neighbours	By : That-Girl-Han Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 2455 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Today was the day that Jacob was meeting my mother and father. Strangely enough, they weren’t aware of that fact. I’m sure my mum had told dad that Jenny was coming in his place, but after last night, we had made up. I smiled at the memory; me and Jake put an offer down on the house and hopefully were going to hear from Craig or his wife today on whether we had been successful. It was quite exciting. But the really exciting bit came later that night. Hehehehe. And, no, it wasn’t sex. Jacob’s penis isn’t working yet. We actually played scrabble! I won, of course. Then we had a little cuddle, followed by questionable dry humping…still good, all the same.
I parked outside my mum’s house precisely at half one. I blew out a breath. “You know, my mums going to go potty when she sees you.” I said to Jacob, still not making any effort to get out of the car. “Especially when she sees those,” I inclined my head towards the big bunch of flowers Jake held in his hands. He had insisted that we stop off at Tesco so he could nip in and pick up a little bunch. But, his little ‘nip’ had turned in to twenty minutes of him just staring at the rack, unsure what ones to get. Honestly, if I didn’t just pick any at random, we’d still be there now.
“Why?” The corner of his mouth twitched. “You been telling her all about my good looks? “And these,” he looked down at the flowers, “are the least I could do for inviting me over.”
I gave a snort. “You make prince charming look like a thug, you know that?”
Jacob grinned as he unbuckled from the chair and starting to get out of the car. I followed suit. I slung my bag over my shoulder before locking my car and started the walk of horror up my parents drive to the front door.
“Ness, do you want to give your mum the flowers?” Jacob asked, trailing behind me as I reached up for the doorbell.
“Not really.” I shrugged. “Besides, she’ll like it if you gave them to her yourself.”
“Right.” He nodded. “Okiedokie.”
The front door swung open and my mum appeared. Her face literally dropped when she saw Jacob standing next to me. It was quite funny; my mum was hardly ever speechless.
“Hi, mum. This is Jacob.” I jabbed my thumb at him. “Jake, this is my dear mummy, Bella.”
Jacob leaned forward and kissed on her on the cheek. “Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He said, his voice irresistibly smooth. “These are for you.”
“What a surprise!” She shrieked her voice considerably higher than usual. “Their absolutely gorgeous, thank you. It’s lovely to finally meet the mystery man!” She chuckled sweetly, carefully taking a hold of the flowers. “Come in, my lovelys.” She ushered us in. I stepped in and was taken aback. Christ, she wasn’t talking shit when she said she had the carpets clean. They used to be an egg shell colour but now…they were actually white!
“Edward! Jacob is here!” She shouted at the top of her lungs, closing the door behind Jacob. “Come and say hello! Hmm, these smell lovely.” She had her nose buried in the flowers.
I shimmied out of my coat and hung it on the rack with my bag. Jake did the same as my dad strolled out easily, with his hands behind his back.
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” He extended his hand towards Jacob. “Quite a grip you’ve got there.” He said dropping his hand and putting it behind his back again. “Reminds me of my university days when I was that ripped.”
My mum charmingly giggled. “Edward, Jacob is a fireman. Of course he’s going to be beefed up.” She smiled as she jokingly shook her head at dad. “Ignore him, Jacob. We do!” She chuckled. “Jennifer coming later or something?”
I shook my head. “Nope, I told her not to come since Jacob could make it.”
“Oh.” Mum pursed her lips. “Well, when you see her next, send her my love, won’t you?”
“Yup.”
“Good.” She grinned. “I’ll just pop these in to some water. What can I get you to drink? Jacob?”
“Umm,” he looked at me. “I’m not fussed.”
“Mum, he’ll probably have a beer, if you’ve got any.” I said, keeping my eyes locked with his. Aw, it was cute to see him nervous.
“Of course, we’ve got Fosters, if that’s OK?” Mum said.
He violently nodded. “Yes, that’s fine, thank you.”
“OK.” She grinned. “What about you?” Her smiled dropped as she looked at me. Charming.
“Orange juice please.”
She nodded before swanning off to the kitchen. We both followed dad to the living room, my hand snapped to cover my nose. Urgh. What the fuck was that awful smell!? Essh. I didn’t want to be rude or anything, but it was foul. I couldn’t even put my finger on it.
I hissed to Jacob. “Can you smell that?”
He lightly shook his head. “Smell what?” He whispered back.
I let out a breath. “Don’t worry.”
“How long you been a fireman?” Dad asked Jake suddenly, as he rested his elbow on the mantel piece.
“A couple of years now.” Jacob replied, matter-of-factly.
“Ah,” dad nodded his head. “How old are you, then? You look fairly young.”
“Dad.” I groaned, still trying to breathe through my mouth.
“It’s OK. I’m twenty six.” Jacob smiled.
“Twenty six.” He mouthed. “Ness is twenty six this November, aren’t you?” He turned to me.
I nodded my head. “Yup, dad, I am.” I muttered my hand tightly over my nose.
Just then my mum waltz back in with the vase in her hands. She smiled as she set it down on the coffee table. Her smile faltered when she saw me trying to plug my nose with my fingers. “Something the matter, Nessie?” She asked.
“What on earth is that hideous stench?!” I said through gritted teeth, trying to stop myself from gagging.
Mum frowned. “What smell? I can’t smell anything.” She looked around the room, as if she would try and find it. “I cleaned up this morning.”
“Mum, it’s absolutely foul. How can you not notice it?” I said, rushing to open a window. “I can’t even describe it to you. It’s really starting to bother me.”
Everyone looked confused. In the corner of my eye, I saw Jake slyly sniff himself.
“Edward,” Mum groaned. “Put your slippers on. That’s probably what the smell is. No wonder why I couldn’t smell it - I’m used to it!” She turned towards Jacob and smiled apologetically. “I’m so sorry about this.”
“No, mum, it isn’t dad’s feet.” I said with my head hanging out of the window. “Are you cooking anything?”
“Yes,” she began to tick them off on her hands. “The chicken. The potatoes. The veg, the parsnips and the stuffing -”
“That’s it! I think it’s the stuffing. It smells wrong.”
Mum’s hands dropped by her side. “But you love sage and onion stuffing. You usually eat most of it. Stop being silly and shut that window.”
I reluctantly nodded. I suppose I was being a little stupid. I slammed the window closed and turned towards everyone. Urgh. It still bothered me. That isn’t the normal stuffing she buys, I know that for a fact. This one smells…wrong and stale.
“Sit down, Jacob. I’ll just fetch your drinks and then you can tell me all about yourself..” Mum said waving her arm around to signal the sofa.
Jacob briefly smiled before doing as he was told. He was about to open his mouth and start talking but I lurched forward and my hands flew out near my face, suddenly gagging on thin air.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” Dad said taking a hold of my shoulders pushing me towards the downstairs toilet in a hurry. “Not on the carpet, Ness!”
But the gagging and heaving didn’t stop. Luckily, I was bent over the toilet when my stomach muscles contracted, sending my breakfast in to the toilet.
“Bella, get rid of that stuffing!” Dad called, pulling the hair out of the way and rubbing my back. “She’s being sick.”
“I think I’m OK no-ugggnrnrnnnnrnnnn!!!”
I felt Dads hand pat my back gently. “Get it all up.”
I gagged one last time but nothing came up. I held my shaking hand up towards my dad. “Can I have something to wipe my mouth with, please?” I grumbled my jaw muscles now hurting and tight.
Dad turned on the cold tap and rinsed a flannel before handing it to me. The cold material felt wonderful against hot my face. I stood up and wiped my mouth once before lowering my head to the sink and rinsing my mouth out. I gurgled the water before spiting it out in the sink. I caught dad’s eye in the mirror, he was leaning against the door frame.
“Feel better?”
I shrugged. “I feel fine. I’m not even sure what just happened.”
“I think you do, Nessie.”
I hesitated. “Whatcha mean?”
“It’s your mothers cooking.” He broke out in a smile. “It’s hazardous for our health.” He began to chuckle and headed away.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to admit the obvious assumption, or just pretend to ignore the facts that were making themselves clear to me. First it was the frantic impulse to have a peanut butter, cheese, marshmallows and prawn cocktail crisps sandwich, and then this morning when I was brushing my teeth, I spent more time eating the toothpaste rather than brushing my teeth.
And there’s the matter about my period….I think I’m a tad late. But that happens to me sometimes. Like once, I missed a period. Completely missed it. but the next month, wala, I was on. I mentally worked out when I had my last period….OK; today is the 23^rd of June….my last period was….the beginning of May. Oh god. How could I have missed this?!?!
OK, let’s not panic. I’m probably wanting to eat these crazy things because I’m about to come on my period! That must be it. I always seem to turn in to a crazed eating machine a couple of days before I’m due on. I rubbed my eyes, suddenly feeling sick. I can’t be pregnant. I can’t! Shit, I’d have to pop to Boots on the way home for a test.
I washed my hands and left the toilet. As I entered the living room, Mum was sitting on the sofa next to Jacob, hysterically laughing about something while dad was sitting in his arm chair, flicking through the TV channels with a newspaper grasped firmly in the other hand.
“Mum, have you still got my toothbrush here?” I asked, feeling conscious the fact that I probably have sick breath.
“Of course.” She pushed herself up. “C’mon.”
I gave a quick smile to Jake before I followed my mum. He still had the dark shadows under his eyes, but he had made the effort to shave this morning, despite my pleads for him not too. I quite liked the rough around the edges Jacob.
I followed my mum up the stairs and to the bathroom. She swiftly pulled my old toothbrush from mirror cabin above the sink. She handed it to me with a smile.
“Jacob is very lovely.”
I nodded. “I think so.” I said, putting a small amount of toothpaste on the end on the brush.
Mum hobbled back downstairs, no doubt, wanting to bask in Jake’s presence. I could understand why. He was a lovely man. A great man, in fact. And, I never needed to remind myself how lucky I was to have him. Then my thoughts travelled off…he’d probably make a good dad. I’d guarantee it, but I couldn’t guarantee that he’d actually want to be a dad. That was something I’d have to talk to him about – if the test came back positive. Although, it probably wouldn’t, because I’m not pregnant. I can’t be.
When I was happy that my breath was now minty clean, I went back downstairs and sat in the other arm chair. I wasn’t sure what the topic of conversation was, so I decided I’d just listen until I had figured it out.
“I know.” Mum said, throwing a glance back at dad. “It’s terrible. They wouldn’t have hacked any Tom, Dick or Harry, would they?”
“Of course not, Bella.” My dad replied quickly. “That’s the whole point. They did it to political figures.”
“And celebrities.” Mum added with a smile – directed at Jacob.
Dad folded the newspaper that he was reading and placed it on his lap. “Which was a complete waste of time, if you ask me. Why on earth would we care what these ‘celebs’ are doing?” He said bitterly, doing air quotations.
“You’d be surprised, Edward. Some people find celebrity life’s interesting.” Mum said causally. “I wouldn’t mind knowing what shampoo Hugh Grant uses. He’s hair looks so soft.”
“This is exactly what I’m talking about. If a newspaper is going to hack calls or whatnot, then it should be for vital information.” Dad said with sudden energy. “Not for silly trivial things.”
“Edward,” Mum turned to him, “you may not regard the condition of your hair vital, but let me assure you, its-“
“Anywaaaay!” I clasped my hands together, trying to defuse the sudden argument that would, without a doubt, happen. “We’ve got some good news.” I told them, looking at Jacob with a grin.
“Oh my!” My mum’s hand flew to her chest. “You’re pregnant!”
I froze, unable to move or form words. How had she known that I was thinking that ten minutes ago? Sometimes, I swear my mum is physic. Sometimes. Jacob came to my rescue.
“No,” Jacob lightly laughed. “We’ve put an offer down on a house. We’re hoping to hear from the owners today actually.”
“That’s wonderful!” My mum grinned. “Isn’t it, Edward?!”
“Absolutely.”
“Go on, tell us everything about it.” She said, then added, as if an after though, “It isn’t on Corps street, is it? Because I specifically told you-“
“No, mum.” I shook my head, finally able to get words out. “It’s just off Greenwich Village, actually.”
“How did you manage that?” Dad said, now interested, lowering the newspaper in his hand. “The prices there are outrageous.”
I nodded. “Yeah they usually are. But this one is to rent, but they said that they are looking to sell soon so if we get it then eventually, we’d buy it off them privately.”
“I assume the rent is per calendar month?” Dad raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, it is.” Jacob said. “One thousand-nine hundred.”
“That’s quite reasonable.” Mum gave dad a reassuring look. “Especially for that location. How many bedrooms?”
“Four.” I quipped. “But the little one at the front hardly counts. It’s tiny.” And it was. It was a bedroom at the front of the house, next to master bedroom.
“Well, if you do get it, you must have us over with your parents.” Mum said, looking at Jacob. “I’m sure we’ll all get along like a house on fire.”
“Of course.” Jacob replied charmingly. Honestly, I was starting to get a bit jealous. He was so polite and formal. For some strange reason, he reminded me of Legolas from The Lord of the Rings. Hmm, that would be a good role play –I’d have to make a mental note about that one for a later date when Jake’s penis was up to it again. Plus, I’d have to buy a blonde wig for him. Ooft. And I’d have to remember to say Jacob, not Orlando…
Dad’s head suddenly appeared from over the newspaper. “Ness, what will you do with your current flat?”
I crossed my legs. “Sell it, I suppose.”
“Righto.” He nodded. “What do you think you’ll get for it?”
I shifted the in chair. “Dad, I don’t know.” I groaned.
“One-fifty thousand, I’d imagine.” Mum cut in while she examined her nails.
“One fifty?” Dad shook his head slowly. “I don’t think so, Bella. Ninety thousand, maybe, but not one fifty-“
“Oh,” mum dropped her hand suddenly, narrowing her eyes at him. “And, when did you go off and secretly work as an estate agent? Hmm?”
“Mum. Dad…” I gave each of them a stern look, trying to get them to stop it. But, I went ignored, as always.
Dad turned a page of the newspaper. “It’s called common sense,” his head popped over the newspaper. “I wouldn’t expect you to know anything about that.”
I cringed. Ooh dear. That wasn’t good. Mum sucked in a breath, obviously readying herself for her assault. I glanced at Jacob, hoping he wasn’t clutching the sofa, wanting to escape the crazy house for dear life, but to my surprise he was sitting there with a tiny sly smile.
“What the bloody hell does that mean?” Mum hissed. If looks could kill, I’m afraid to say, we’d all be dead. ‘The Look’ she was giving was terrifying, it really was. I used to joke that whenever she did ‘The Look’, she resembled one of those ugly witches from the film The Witches, then she actually gave me ‘The Look’. I soon after stopped joking about it, seriously afraid for my health if I continued.
Instead of giving her an answer, Dad simply licked his finger slowly, making sure to give my mum serious eye contact before his eyes dropped back to the paper and turning the page.
I quickly stood up, deciding that if I didn’t defuse the situation, mum would literally pounce on dad and strangle him to death. Then turn on us for being eye witnesses.
“Mum, let’s go have a look at dinner.” I grabbed her hand and yanked her up. “I’m absolutely starved.” I pushed her in front of me before she could go over to dad and leaned over the paper and get up in his shit. She gave a disgruntled look at dad before storming in the kitchen. I looked back at Jacob with a frown. I should have warned him that my parents bicker a lot and this, believe it or not, was one of their good days.
“You don’t mind sitting here with dad, do you?” I asked him.
Before Jacob could even reply, Dad’s head appeared over the top of the newspaper. “Ness, I’m not a monster. He’s perfectly fine here. It’ll give us a chance to have a man to man chat.” He cast his newspaper on the sofa beside him before raising his eyebrow at me. “Bugger off, then.”
“Oh.” I frowned. “Alright.”
As I walked through to the kitchen, I couldn’t help but notice the desk. The computer was half packed away. Huh, I knew they’d never use the thing. What a waste of money!....Oh, maybe I could do them a favour and take it off their hands? Hmm….
“Mum,” I said standing beside her while she was draining the vegetables in the sink. “What’s happened to the computer?”
She tutted. “I’ve banned it.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s disgusting!” She snapped, starting on the carrots. “It constantly brings up rude pictures and videos. I’ve never seen anything like it!”
A giggle rose up in my throat. I think I should have probably explained about porn and those naughty pops up on the web. Whoopsie. I cleared my throat to hide my laugh. “Mum, you can block those, you know.”
“Well,” she shrugged. “I don’t even want the thing in my house. You know,” she turned to me with a hushed voice, “one of them was a video of a topless woman, touching herself asking if I wanted to play….”
Both my hands flew to my mouth. Oh god. This was probably the funniest thing ever! It was priceless! I could imagine her face. I was half tempted to unpack it and turn it on, just to see her reaction!
“Mum, you know that it was a pre-recorded video, don’t you?” I said, starting to get the knives and forks from the draw. “She wasn’t actually asking you to…you know…play or anything.”
“Regardless, I won’t have that filth in my house.” She began to serve the vegetables on our plates.
“So,er,” I licked my lips, “what does dad say about it?” I asked causally, beginning to set the table.
“He was fine with it.” She rolled her eyes. “Only until, a man popped up, completely stark naked advertising Viagra.”
“Really? How terrible.” I frowned and lightly shook my head, pretending to be shocked, when really; I was straining not to suddenly erupt in to laughter and starting rolling around the kitchen floor like a loon. I helped mum dish up dinner before going back to the front room for the guys. Dad was sat on the edge on his seat with his elbows on his knees, deep in conversation. Even Jacob was leaning forward, using frantic hand gestures. He stopped himself as soon as he spotted me lurking.
“Hi!” I smiled as dad turned swivelled in his chair to look at me. “Dinners ready.”
“Good,” dad pushed himself up. “I’m wasting away.” He grumbled as he shuffled past me and in to the kitchen.
Jake smiled as he stepped towards me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You alright?” I asked, in a low voice.
He gave a slight nod. “Yup, prefect.” He leaned down and kissed me firmly on the mouth. As he pulled away, his smile dropped, as though he remembered something. “You did brush your teeth, didn’t you?”
“Why?” I raised a brow. “Would it bother you if I still had sick breath?”
A wry smile crossed his lips. “No?”
I let out a laugh and moved out of his arms. “You’re a sucky liar, Jakey Boyy!”
We all sat down around the table, after mum had insisted that I get everyone a new drink, even when dad and Jake still had more than half of their beer left. And I hadn’t even touched my orange juice, but heyho.
“I hope you enjoy it, Jacob.” Mum said looking very smug with herself. “This is like a mini-Christmas dinner!” She cackled.
Dead mumbled something incoherent. I kept my head low, hoping that mum didn’t catch his mumblings. Luckily for him, she didn’t. Or she did, but choose to ignore him.
“It smells great,” Jake smiled at my mum as he picked up his fork. “It’s just like how Sue makes it.” Jacob looked at me and I nodded. It was. Although, I did prefer Sue’s roast potatoes…but I’ve never say that out loud. Especially when mum had a knife in her hand.
“Sue?” Mum asked setting down her wine. “Is that your mother?”
Jake shook his head with a sad smile. “No. My mum died when I was young. Sue is…well, she’s my dad’s girlfriend. Sort of.” He gave a lopsided grin.
No one said anything after that. We were all too busy destroying our dinner. I discreetly pushed the runner beans to the edge of my plate. They were the vilest vegetable in the whole world. And mum knew I hated them, yet every time I came over for Sunday dinner, they’d somehow end up on my plate. Essh.
Mum rested her elbows on the table. “Ed, must you chew like that?” She thrusted her fork at him.
Dad nosily finished his oversized mouthful. “Bella, if you had it your way, you’d chew everything for me.”
“Don’t be so ridiculous!” She scoffed. “It wouldn’t kill you to eat like a normal person, would it?”
“Oh.” He slapped his knife and fork on the table. “So, now you’re saying I’m not normal?”
This was so like my parents. They couldn’t go ten minutes without squabbling over the tiniest thing. I really should have had a stern chat with them this morning on the phone, telling them both clearly if they acted up, I’d have no choice but to bang their heads together.
“Not when you chew like a hideous creature!” Mum let out a breath. “Honestly, it’s unearthly. I’m sure a cockroach has better table manners than you, my dear.”
Before dad could fire some insult back I spoke first. “Enough.” I looked between them. “You wonder why I don’t bring boys home yet when I do, you both sit there like little children arguing with each other. Shh.” I raised my hand when my mum tried to cut in. “Shut up, the pair of you and just eat your dinners.” I heaved a sigh when they both reluctantly nodded and looked down. There. That wasn’t so hard. I gave Jake a grin. “You OK over there?” He just nodded unable to speak with his mouth full. “Good.” I looked at everyone before tucking in to my own dinner.
I’m proud to say that my parents kept their mouth shuts throughout the entire meal. It wasn’t until we were all finished and looking at each other that my mum spoke. “Ness, you haven’t eaten your runner beans.”
I nodded, through a gulp of orange juice. “I don’t like them.”
Shock rolled through her face. “What? Since when?”
“Since forever.”
“No, it’s swede you don’t like.” She said, almost definite. Almost.
“No, I quite like swede.” I corrected. “I don’t like runner beans. Remember Aunt Rose used to make me eat them? Well, now I can’t stand them.”
She gave a high chuckle. “She never used to force feed you. That was Alice with Marmite.”
I leaned back in my chair and blew out a breath. My mum had the patchiest memory when it came to things she’d rather forget. Like the time when she hit me with a wooden spoon across the arse. But whenever I bring it up, she insists that I’m mistaken. But I’m not. I remember it clearly. I was mucking about in the kitchen, smearing cookie dough and flour all over the kitchen. When she caught me, she chased me around the house until she got me. Safe to say, I never did that again.
“Yes, thanks for the reminder.” I grumbled.
“I hope you’ll not be like this when you meet Jacob’s parents.”
My eyes went wide with horror. Oh god. I haven’t told her I met Billy and Sue because I knew she’d go a bit funny about it. I discreetly gave Jacob a look. One that meant ‘do not tell her. Do not!’ I don’t think he understood me.
“She’s already met them a couple of weeks back.” He suddenly caught on, giving me an odd look. “We stayed there for a weekend….” He added, slowly, with an apologetic smile and his eyes fixed on my horrified stare the whole time.
Mum slowly put her glass down and lifted up one perfectly shaped eyebrow. Oh god. God, no. This was the beginning of ‘The Look’. Urgh, I can’t watch. I dropped my eyes towards my semi empty plate.
“You didn’t tell me you’ve met his parents.” She said coolly, keeping her eyes fixed on my head.
“Didn’t I?” I shrugged. “Must have forgotten.” Then as if the mighty powers knew I was in for a tongue lashing, my phone began to buzz violently in my pocket. I pushed the chair back with my calf’s and abruptly stood up, pulling the phone from my pocket.
“Phone.” I waved it about in front of everyone. “Excuse me!” I rushed before dashing in to the back garden. “Hello?” I answered as I closed the back door behind me.
“Ariite. Is this Ness Cullun?”
My heart tried to leap out of my throat. It was Craig! Oh my god. OK, breathe and relax.
“Hi. Hi. Hi! It’s me.” I screeched down the phone. So much for trying to relax. I couldn’t help but start dancing on the spot, suddenly about to burst with over whelming nerves.
A chuckle came from the other end. “'Aha. I’ve got some wicked news. Me and me missus went through it all lassnight, and we're cheddered ter tell yous dat its yos.”
I let out a womanly shriek. YES! “Ohmigooood!!! I’m so thrilled! Thank you!!!” I practically shouted down the phone at him.
“You'll get de keys on’d de 1st o' July. We'd need yous ter come over as befur den to sign a few things.” He said. “But I’ll explain everyth'n whun yous come over.”
“Excellent.” I replied still doing my victory dance, with hip thrusts and everything. It was quite the sight. “When would it OK to pop over and sign the paper work?”
“25th, de Tooesdee.”
“Tuesday?”
“Aye.”
“Perfect. I’ll call Tuesday morning, then.”
“Alriiite. T’rah.”
“Byyeee!”
I couldn’t believe it. We had the house. The house! It was ours! Mine and Jacob’s own place. Hehehehehe. I’m so giddy right now; I think I could pass out on the lawn. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and re-entered the kitchen. It was empty. I shrugged to myself and walked through the living room. Jacob and my mum were sitting on the sofa looking at photo albums.
“And here she is in the bath.” Mum frowned. “That isn’t a very flattering shot.”
Oh god. She had cracked out the old dodgy baby pictures. Damn, I should have known she’d unleashed them upon him. Well, anyway, there isn’t a picture she could show Jacob that could dampen my mood. I was on cloud nine.
“Oh lord,” Mum chuckled loudly pointing to a picture. “I think we were on a holiday to Devon there, but she was at least ten so I don’t know why she’s naked….”
I charged forward and took the photo album from their hands. “Enough of that.” I said, throwing the album on the other arm chair and turning back around to Jake. “We got it.”
His face lit up. “Seriously?”
I nodded.
Jacob shot up, his arms wrapped around my waist, securing me in a tight embrace before spinning us around. I grasped on to his shoulders when he set me down.
“We got it!” He said.
“We got it!!” I shouted back.
“Got what?” Dad looked up from his chair. “And you’re in the way of the TV.”
Me and Jake spoke at the same time. “The house.” Then we all had a little chuckle.
We spent the rest of the day talking about the new house, the type of furnishing we wanted, what we were going to take from our old place. Mum had to whip out the Argos catalogue and going through the entire book, picking out bits and bobs. In the end, we were both sitting there with pieces of paper scribing things down. In the end, we decided to get a new TV stand, a new hoover, a nice dining table and chairs for the dining table and get a nice little round table for the kitchen. And a new bed. With no bars, Jacob was absolutely strict about that. Then dad insisted we buy a trouser press instead of a new iron and iron board. No one agreed with him. As usual.

As we sat back in the car. I let out a breath. Finally, it was over.
“I hope my parents didn’t come across as freaky.” I said, starting the car. “I am sorry about their behaviour.”
“What?” He smiled. “I think their great. Very amusing.”
I scoffed. “Yes. Although, amusing wouldn’t be my word choice.” I began to pull away and drive down the road.
“It wasn’t that bad.” He said, fiddling with the radio dials. “Your dad is quite scary, though.”
I gave him a quick look. My dad? Scary? That isn’t right. My mum is much more scarier than he is. In our house, it was never ‘wait till your father gets home’, it was always ‘your mother won’t be happy with you when she finds out’. In fact, I remember when I was seventeen, I snuck out to a party and got absolutely pissed. So pissed, in fact, that I came home, stole my dad’s car keys and crashed the car in to a lamp post. My mum went mental at me, screaming about how dad will literally murder me, when all he did was raise his eyebrow, tut and shake his head. Hardly the punishment I was expecting, although, I didn’t argue with it.
“What did he say to you when I was in the kitchen with mum?” I asked Jake, keeping my eyes firmly on the road. And the horrible driving of the car in front. Honestly, they must just randomly hand out driving licenses these days.
“Erm, not a lot,” Jake replied casually, still playing with the radio.
“You’re such a shit liar.” I said. “What were you two talking about?”
Jacob chuckled. “Trust me when I say nothing of great importance.”
“Right…..” I pulled a face. “Anyway, I’ve ,er, gotta pop in to Boots on the way home.”
“What for?”
“Oh.” I looked out of the side window quickly, giving him a shot of the back of my head. “Just lady stuff.”
“Tampons?” He said on a sigh.
“Yes.” I lied. “Lots and lots of tampons.”
The rest of the drive was silent. Through the whole time, the only thing going through my head was this whole pregnancy thing. Oh, and if Jacob didn’t stop switching radio stations, I’d have no choice but to chop off his hand. I parked the car on the high street. I slid out of the car and paused. Jacob was slamming the passenger door. What is he doing?
I gave him an odd look. “I won’t be a minute, you can wait in the car.”
"I wanna pick up some headache tablets anyway." He said walking around towards me. "Come on, then."
I nodded. "Great." My voice was a little shaky. This meant I'd have to pick up the pregnancy test secretly. Damn, I'm not good at being discreet. I took a deep breath and followed him inside. I didn't bother following him around, as soon as his back was turned I pelted straight off to the section I needed. Honestly, it was like the staff knew I would be trying to find a pregnancy test quick time and they all decided it would be fun to hide them all. Normally, they tend to be with the condoms, ironically. But I couldn't see any. I ran my eyes along the shelf. Condoms. Lube. Favoured lube. Pregnancy tests! Excellent! Should I get the cheap one or pick the expensive one? I mean, did it really make a difference? After all, they all tell me if I'm actually pregnant or not. Fuck it. My hand dashed out, ninja speed, and swiped one of the expensive Clear Blue ones. It apparently was 99% accurate. Good. I didn’t want to be in the all clear but find out I’m pregnant while on the loo. I headed over to the tampons and picked up a random box. With the pregnancy test underneath the tampon box, I went to find Jacob. Luckily for me, he was standing in an isle with his arms crossed, scratching his chin looking lost.
"Alright?" I asked scooting up to him. He gave me a quick smile before turning back towards the shelf.
"These so many." He mumbled. " Paracetamol, ibuprofen, nurofen.."
This was good. If he was here then I could sneakily go off and pay for my test and, er, pearl tampax. Lovely.
"OK, I'm just gonna go and..." I jammed my thumb in the direction of the tills, already slowly stepping away from him.
"Alright."
I smiled at him before practically running away. I let out a groan with a slight growl as I joined the queue. Why did people need to buy things today? At this particular Boots? Arghh. God. People could be so inconsiderate. I shifted on one foot awkwardly, praying that Jake would take his sweet time picking what ones he wanted.
Finally, it was me next. I approached the counter and dropped both items.
"Hello." The lady asked with a bright smile. “Do you have a Boots cards?"
I did, but I didn't have it with me. "No."
"Are you interested in one?"
"No." I shook my head abruptly, hoping she'd quit asking me questions and crack on with scanning my things before Jake popped up.
"If you did get one, it you get points on everything you buy." She grinned. "And then you could actually purchase products with your points!!" She exclaimed like an excited three year old.
"Really? That's lovely. But, actually I just want those things." I gave her a quick smile followed by a nervous laugh. "I'm in a bit of a rush..." I added as if it would make the slightest difference. It didn't.
"Ness..." My head jerked towards the voice. Jacob was walking over towards us. Shit. The lady picked up the test and scanned it. Put it in the bag! Put it in the bloody bag already! She picked the box up, closely examining it.
"This one is supposed to be good." She noted. "Quite expensive, though."
"Uhuhh." I mumbled, my body beginning to shake with nerves as Jake approached us.
"I gave up," Jake explained as he stopped next to me, his eyes fixed on the bag, which the lady had just packed with my pregnancy test just in the nick of time. "I think I've got some at my place anyway." He rubbed his brow.
"Well," I said watching the lady scan my box of tampons, "why don't you take my car keys and wait in the car for me?"
He nodded. "OK."
I handed over my keys and watched him trudge out of the shop. Thank fuck for that.
"That'll be fourteen fifty six, please."
I nearly fell over. Nearly fifteen quid for two things?! Bloody hell. Those pregnant test cost a fucking fortune.
I, reluctantly, handed over the money. She gave me my change back and my receipt with a huge smile. "Have a nice evening."
"You too." I strode out of boots and to my car in a hurry. I just wanted to get home and take the damn test!
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Neighbours