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Tears of the Phoenix	By : serialcabbit78 Category: S through Z > Valdemar Series Views: 1397 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY of the rights to the Valdemar Series, those all belong to Mercedes Lackey, who has given me the inspiration. I make no profit from this or any writing.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
*Author's Note - This will probably be one of the longer chapters I've written and by far one of the hardest.   Though the act itself is not reffered to, rape is heavily implied in this chapter.   Luna seems strong, but only time will tell how this affects her in the future. Feel free to leave comments.

Before Luna could even realize, classes let out for the early summer. She had decided to stay at the Collegium, and she would be sharing the suite with Thad, Trey, and Kasie.   Stefen had taken up with a fair that would take him away for a few months and they spent the last evening together.

Luna dashed into the rooms after working with Surya. She had enough time to bathe before Stefen returned from requesting provisions.   She darted into the privy, intending to make a fast trip when something caught her attention. It was a brownish stain that had soaked clean through her underclothes, hose and left a vivid blot on her breeches.

She had remembered feeling some cramping in the day, but she brushed it off as something to do with her weapons work or how she’d worked with Surya. She honestly didn’t expect anything else. The outer room was dead silent as it had been empty when she’d entered. Tears stung her eyes as she realized she was alone. Something was wrong with her and she was completely alone.

Hot tears streaked her cheeks as she tried to rationalize just what was happening. She knew she hadn’t sat in something that would have left this kind of stain as it appeared to have come from inside her clothing, not out. She hadn’t incurred any injury that would cause her to bleed. She heard the door open out in the sitting room then it closed.
“Someone, please, help me.” She cried out. “Please!”

Stefen opened the door and poked his head inside. He saw Luna’s tears and came over to her. She was sitting there, with her clothes balled up in her fist, trying to hide the hideous stain. She felt humiliated, not understanding what was happening. Stefen gently pried the material from her hands and looked. His soft gasp made her cry harder.

“Oh, little one, it’s quite alright.” He said softly, stroking away her tears. “I bet you are worried something horrible has happened to you.”

She nodded, wiping her nose on her sleeve. He pulled a handkerchief from his sleeve, a habit he’d picked up from Vanyel. He carried one in a pocket inside his tunic for his own use, but carried one in his sleeve, in the event he had to comfort one of the girls. She heard the door open again and heard Kasie calling out. She trembled as he wiped her tears and hugged her. He rose and opened the door a bit.

“Kasie, can you bring me a set of Luna’s clothing and some of those supplies. I think you and Leanna decided to keep them in your room.” He asked softly. She heard Kasie agree, and in a moment the girl came in.

“Get out, Stefen. I can handle this; that is unless Luna wishes to have you close.” She laid Luna’s robe on the floor and began to strip away her clothes. Stefen stepped out, letting the older girl handle the situation. “I know you are scared, I was when this happened to me. Let’s go get you into a warm bath, I’ll help you.”

Kasie pulled the last of Luna’s clothes off and tossed them aside. Stefen reached in and gathered the soiled clothing and carried it off to be washed. He was rather relieved that Kasie had come in, as he felt completely out of his depth. He knew how to help Luna, but this was something better suited to having a female handle. He dumped the shirt and undershirt into the laundry basket but took the other clothing in to soak in cold water.    He watched Kasie gently lead Luna to the bathing room and collapsed on the couch as Thad came in.

“You look like someone who’s seen a ghost, what’s wrong?” Thad asked as he sat next to Stefen. “Where are the fairs going?”

“The fairs are in the south.” Stefen sighed. “Keep an eye on Luna, you and Kasie both. I can’t tell you why, though. I don’t want her more embarrassed than she is already.”

“Oh, bless her heart. I wondered when it would happen; she’s been a bit moody lately.” Thad shook his head. “I can imagine that took her off guard. Kasie can do all the helping there, but I’ll take her to the Healers in the morning so they can get her on that potion.”

Stefen nodded numbly. He felt bad for taking the assignment with this fair, but it would help him spread the songs he’d written.   He knew it would be a good source of income, as he had a whole room full of new friends to buy presents for, and it was a blessing that Lord Withen had stepped up to help sponsor Luna into Bardic. It freed up funds he could use for other things, and it gave her a full name.

“I’m just glad Kasie is staying behind. I think the child would have gone mad if it had to be you or me to explain things to her.” Stefen said quietly.

In the bathing room, Kasie helped Luna into a tub and gently patted her shoulders.   She remembered the first time she’d had her own experience with moon days. She hadn’t been much older than Luna when that happened, but it was before she was chosen. The poor girl was so confused, it was clear on her face.

“I was trying to think how I could have hurt myself. I hope I didn’t scare Stefen.” Luna said as she got herself under some control. “I was afraid.”

“Honey, most girls are when it happens. Sooner or later, we all get them. We’re just lucky we have two men who definitely understand that. Poor Letha though, that dumb ol’ ox of a mentor she has fainted. There she sat, scared she was dying and he’s layin in the floor knocked out cold.” Kasie chuckled. “I think she scared him more than that scared her. I’m glad they got Isa to take over that room. Then again, they were chosen earlier this year, so I don’t think he expected to have females that young.”

Luna scrubbed herself, reveling in the heated water. She washed her hair and moved to let the water out of the tub. Kasie showed her how to use the rag clouts and pin them in place. She dressed in a soft rust brown outfit, one of her older outfits she’d came in with. It had been nearly too loose then, but it fit perfectly now.

“Since we ain’t got classes, I think you can get away with wearing that. Though, given what’s happening, no one will comment.” Kasie winked to her and led her back to their room. “Once we know how this goes for you, I’ll show you some better ways to handle things.”

Stefen looked up when the door opened. Luna was dressed and looked like she felt better, though her stride was a little awkward. He could understand that, she just had to get used to things. Thad moved over and patted the seat between himself and Stefen.

“There’s my sassy little sister, how are you feeling?” Thad asked as she sat down. She leaned in to each of her friends as they hugged her. “If you want, I can take you to the Healers in the morning, or if you prefer, Kasie can.”

“I want you, Thad. I know Stef has to leave early, so if you don’t really mind, please?” She asked as tears threatened to fall again.

“It would be my honor. Besides, what kind of brother would I be if I didn’t offer you some sort of support.” Thad chuckled. :The Healers will want you to start on some potions that will help you with your moon days. Trust me, I’ve had to walk a few others through this.:

:Thank you. It just took me off guard, and I totally forgot everything Isa told us. I think I was expecting something else.: Luna felt more comfortable with Mindspeech, though the only two she used it with mostly was Thad and Trey. :Sometimes I wish I could talk to Stef this way, would be so much easier!:
“That’s true, little one. I’ll be gone for around three moons, but I should be back in time for the classes to start back. You’ll be in good hands.” Stefen said, hugging her tightly. “You didn’t frighten me or gross me out. I just wasn’t prepared for you to be growing up so fast, that’s all.”

“Honestly, neither was I. I thought I hurt myself and I didn’t know how I would explain it to anyone.” Luna smiled softly.

She changed into her bed gown a bit later and sat on the side of her bed, brushing her hair. She was glad she’d had it cut, having it fall just past her shoulder blades made it much easier to deal with. She was tempted to sleep next to Stefen, but she figured he’d wish to sleep alone, without worrying about waking her when he rose.

:You know he would like that. He missed you terribly when he had to spend those months away from you, as it was not like being away from home.: Surya said. :You haven’t outgrown him, not by a long shot. I don’t think you ever will.:

:I don’t think I will either. He’s more than a friend, more than a brother, I don’t exactly know how to see him.: Luna idly stroked her hair as she talked to Surya. :I mean since Lord Withen ‘adopted’ me, and I know he was quite angry over those rumors.:

:Withen was like an angry bull over that. He wasn’t angry with Stefen over what happened, as he and his wife were consoling you both. He wanted to arrange for you two to spend time together in their suite, but things didn’t go as planned.: Surya sounded irritated. :Don’t worry about your little issue, he’s not going to care.:

Stefen entered the room, and simply watched Luna brushing her hair. He knew she was speaking with Surya. He had missed her already, as she was someone he could talk to about nearly anything and she didn’t shy away from telling him when he was being an idiot.   He began to undress, noticing that Luna noticed very little around her.

:I wasn’t thinking of that, I was thinking that some may think that I’m outgrowing wanting him as a friend.: Luna thought crossly. :I just wish he didn’t have to leave again so soon.:

:You won’t outgrow needing someone like him. You both know that your lives will hold a lot of time away from each other. That is what makes your friendship with him special, you understand that. I think he wants to talk to you: Surya pulled away gently.

Luna began to braid her hair, tying it off and tossing the braid over her shoulder. Stefen chuckled as she looked up, gasping as she caught him putting on his robe. She blushed and looked away. It always seemed to shock her seeing him naked, and tonight he decided to ask her why.

“Luna, we’ve known each other for almost a year now, why do you always look away?” Stefen asked, sitting next to her on the bed. “It doesn’t bother me, and you’ve dressed with me in the room, so I know we’re comfortable with each other.”

“It’s not what you think. I think sometimes I do it to be polite. You must think I do it because I forget you are a man, but that’s not it. I still remember that day in the waystation, when Surya got onto me.” Luna shrugged. “If you haven’t noticed, it’s more when you catch me off guard. I hadn’t noticed you come in, let alone undressing.”

“Well, you seemed to be caught up in a little chat with someone, so it’s ok. I’m going to go take a nice soak, but if you wish to sleep next to me tonight, it will be ok. I know you’ll miss me when I’m away.” Stefen hugged her and got up to walk out.

Luna watched as he left the room. She got up and tidied her side, noticing that Kasie had tucked some of the things she would need into her little closet.   She also noticed a little note tucked into the bundle. She pulled it out and opened it to read Kasie’s neat script.

Luna,
When you use these, there will be a special bucket in the privies for you to put used rags in. I don’t know exactly how they deal with them, but be sure to not put any pins in with them.
Kasie
Luna smiled to herself, glad to have the friends she had made here. She laid out a clean outfit for the morning then stepped out in the sitting room. She saw that someone had brought a tray of snacks in and she helped herself to some.

She sat on the couch next to Thad while she nibbled the little snack. He smiled down to her, but kept reading the history he was studying. They’d learned more about how the issues in the Sorrows had been a long time problem. Somehow, the Heralds had not often traversed there, as it wasn’t really considered part of Valdemar.    Since Vanyel though, they tried to keep an eye on the forest, but some of the villages there seemed to fall on and off their notice. Her village was one that seemed to be either one they really didn’t take not of, or never noticed what was truly happening.

“It’s odd, there’s been times they noted that our village seemed to be quite tiny and without a name. They said that it was just a handful of families.” Thad mused. “You and I both know that isn’t exactly true.”

“I know, and many seem to argue with us over what we know. I can’t honestly say that Heralds came through with any regularity as you know unless I was hidden away at Nana’s or stayed with Sven’s family, I was in the forest. There were times the weather would get quite nasty but for a long time I didn’t understand why.” Luna sighed. “If what we’ve learned about Vanyel is anything to go by, then that explains a lot.”

“That’s true. He could have been quite irritated by the things those people were doing, but because there were too many innocents living there, he didn’t directly intervene. There was one village that they did completely subvert and that one was completely erased, all they found was rubble and bodies. There were no children there what so ever.” Thad snapped the book shut and set it on the arm of the couch. “All we can do is make sure more are sent through on longer circuits.”

“Well, now that we have many Trainees and Heralds, I think we can, unless the Karsites decide we look tasty again.” Luna said and hugged Thad. “Well good night.”

“Goodnight little one,” Thad gave her a hug back.
Luna went back into her room and flopped on her bed. Even though most of the classes were out for the hotter days of the summer, those who remained behind still had weapons work, work with their Companions and since she was in Bardic, she had to give small performances. She still wasn’t exactly at apprentice level, but she’d only been here nearly a year. She excelled with most instruments, but her writing was still not that great.    She heard Stefen come in and she smiled up at him.

“I think before I go, I need to tell you something. There were more reasons to my moving over to the other room than the ones you were told.” Stefen began, looking a bit uncomfortable as he sat on the side of her bed. “I really don’t know how to discuss this with you…”

“I think I know, Stef.” Luna reached for his hand. “A few times when I played for Lady Treesa, there was a woman there wearing green, and her clothing was not as nice as the other Ladies.”

“She is a Healer; she was there to see if you showed any evidence of sexual trauma, like rape or molestation. They had me move over to my other room before they asked her to observe you. The Bards and the Heralds both felt it would be a good idea to have me step back a little to see if it would ease the rumors, and I think the expected it to die down. The reasons the rumors were even happening is because I was there when one of the boys was tested to see if he had the gift. He was talented, but had no trace of the gift. In some ways, Breda said he reminded her of Vanyel, except this boy had no love of music. He retaliated by saying I was forcing you to be my play thing and many other things.   He was the one the Companions chased about the Field. I’ll tell you something Surya may not have told you, she was the only Companion of a Trainee.” Stefen gave Luna a soft look, holding her hand gently. “He thought that you held some power to make yourself appear younger, a power that any Herald or Companion would find absolutely repugnant.”

“Even if I had Mage powers, blood magic is something not to be messed with. No mage with any ounce of morals would engage in it. The Tayledras always look young because of the powers they work with, or so he told me.” Luna shook her head. “So was it retaliation against you, me or Bardic in general.”

“He was jealous that you, being from outside, with no training what so ever, making it in. You had very little training in what you could play when you got here, even though you take to most instruments as easy as breathing. He spent years learning his instrument, from the time he was Cody’s age. He thought they wouldn’t admit him into Bardic because you were the one to be my protégé. He was retaliating against you.” Stefen growled.

“It merely proves that family money and influence can't buy everything.” Luna said.

“That’s true, but the problem was, his dad wanted him in on merit and talent, not by buying is way in. You are too insightful for your own good sometimes.” Stefen chuckled. “I think we should get some sleep. I have to leave in the morning, but I’ll write when I can.”

They got off Luna’s bed and she pulled back her covers. Stefen gave her a warm smile as she crawled in and he tucked her in. He pulled the curtains closed after kissing her head. He blew out the candles then crawled into bed.

Luna woke early in the morning, hearing Stefen getting around. She crawled out of bed and stretched. For a few moments, she watched him as he packed away his instrument. He looked up at her and gave her a smile. He set the travel case aside and opened his arms. She jumped up and hugged him.

“Good morning my little one, did you sleep well?” He said when he pulled back. She nodded shyly then slipped into the privy. She shut the small door with a click, forgetting one thing she’d need. Stefen chuckled and pulled a small bundle from her closet. “Did you forget this, Luna?”

“I did, thank you.” Luna said as Stefen opened the door a little and passed the bundle to her. “I think I’ll keep some in here, just in case.”

“Wouldn’t be a bad idea, and it won’t bother me when I am here. Though I think most men rather the things stay out of sight, it doesn’t bother me. It’s just a fact of life.” Stefen chuckled. “The girls moved the stuff out of the main privy because Michael complained. It somehow offended his sensibilities, typical male.”

“I do believe you are male, Stef.” Luna laughed as she came out of the privy. “I mean seriously, you act as if some men are barbarians.”

“That’s because they are, my dear. I’ve seen plenty of girls and women with their poor hearts and bodies torn apart by men who are only after a bit of pleasure. I pray that I never have to see you go through that or endure what Van did.” A sad look on his face made her hug him again. “It was only the things I had to see growing up that I was able to help him.”

“He was lucky to have someone like you, and you are a very gentle man Stef. I’m sure if someone gets on the wrong side of you, you wouldn’t be so nice.” Luna hugged him and pulled away. “Let’s get you fed before you have to go saddle up.”

Stefen carried his packs into the sitting room with Luna’s help and she put them by the door. She fixed him a plate of food and brought it to him. He sat on the couch and slowly ate. He seemed rather reluctant to leave. She honestly didn’t blame him. She didn’t want him to go either, but he had a duty to do. Even though he was her mentor, he’d spent a good part of the past year away, but she knew he would always return.

“I must go now, but I will write. The direction we are going there will be plenty of Heralds carrying currier duty so maybe I can send you a few things back. I know I’ll send you some music.” Stefen picked up his packs as Thad came into the room. Thad helped him carry his things out and Luna picked at her own breakfast.

When Thad came back he sat down and held Luna gently. She leaned into the embrace feeling glad she wouldn’t be all on her own. She pulled away and finished the food then went into her room to get dressed. She pulled the linens from Stefen’s bed and changed the sheets and put the blankets in the laundry. She didn’t mind doing the chore, and it was due for both beds to have the blankets cleaned. Surely she should stay warm enough with the warmth of early summer upon them.

She changed her own sheets and put her blankets into the basket and carried that into the sitting room to set by the door. She sat on the couch to put on her socks and boots, and smiled up at Thad. He was eating his own breakfast and nodded to her.
“You seem to be taking this well. I was prepared for you to be in tears, but then again, you’ve had to be away from him before. I know he was away this past fall and early winter.” Thad said as he put his plate on the table. “I hope they can get a decent set of cooks soon, I’m getting tired of cold meat and bread for breakfast.”

“Considering I’ve had more food here in one day than I got in a week before I was chosen, I’m not going to complain. I guess they had better food before?” Luna tilted her head to the side. “I would like to have more choices though.”

“We did, a few months before you were chosen, the cook we had was very good, but we are not sure why they left. Some of the trainees weren’t all too keen on helping. With as many Heralds and trainees as we feed at each meal, it can be quite a task.” Thad chuckled. “I think their hope is if we have to put up with this long enough, more will get the idea that helping in the kitchen is good.”

“You’d think after a year of this, they could find someone. The night cook is good though, and I love working with her. Sometimes she makes sure to have little treats to send out for the cold breakfasts though.” Luna giggled.

“She does, and I think she makes sure those treats go to the rooms of those who help her. She does make sure that everyone in those rooms gets them. You ready to head over to the Healers?” Thad stood and held out his hand. Luna took it and they went off to the House of Healing.

Thad directed her to sit in a chair and he went into a room to speak with someone. She didn’t hear the conversation, but she knew he was explaining things. She remembered the afternoon that Michael had gone off on the girls about the moon day supplies, and how it had nearly brought the wrath of everyone around them down on him.   Stef had brought the compromise that the girls keep the items in their room for the time being, but the pail for the soiled ones stayed put. She didn’t understand why Stefen and Thad were so calm about the issue. Then again, they had more in common with the girls in ways Michael could never understand.

Thad stepped back out into the hall with one of the Healers who led them both down the hall to a small room. She opened the door and waved them inside. Luna had the odd feeling that had it been almost any other boy, the woman would have chased him out yelling at him, but she simply allowed him to stay. She had Luna sit on a cot and Thad took a chair behind a small screen.

“I’m Healer Kathlee. So your mentor tells me you recently started your moon days?” She asked Luna. “How old are you?”

“I’m twelve; I’ll be thirteen this winter. I started sometime yesterday, and I had some mild cramping but I thought it was due to something I did.” Luna looked at her hands as she clasped them in her lap. “Other than feeling those cramps today and a bit of a headache, I don’t feel different.”

“Many of our female trainees don’t come to us as young as you, so most have already started before they come, yet we do get a few late bloomers. You are by no means a late bloomer.” Healer Kathlee smiled at Luna. “I suppose you recognize me from Lady Treesa’s little gatherings?”
For the first time, Luna really looked at the woman. It was indeed the woman she’d seen in Lady Treesa’s rooms, and Stefen had explained why she’d been there. It was a bit of a relief to have her instead of someone who was more of a stranger, even if Thad was in the room.
“I do, at the time I had wondered who you were, but Stef and I had a talk. I take it you were able to prove those idiots wrong?” Luna tilted her head to the side. “You are angry those things were said?”

“I was, and knowing how both Stef and Thad are, everyone knew those rumors were baseless. The biggest problem was keeping Lord Withen off the boy’s case, but the Companions took care of that, for everyone.” Kathlee shook her head. “I think with you being so young, I’ll put you on a lighter version of the powders we give to the other females. There’s no chance of you becoming sexually active any time soon. It’s not that I don’t think you’ll find guys you like; it’s getting through your friend. At least that is until you are a bit older.”

Luna giggled as the Healer directed her to lie back on the cot. She went through a few exams and Luna wasn’t exactly sure what she was looking for. The Healer made a few notes and after several long moments, she helped Luna sit up again.

“You are healthy enough I think you’ll be alright if you keep eating right.” The Healer moved to a cupboard and pulled out a couple of boxes. She looked around the screen and motioned for Thad to join them. “I’m going to have you start these little packets; you pour one into a glass of water each morning.”

She went to a pitcher and poured a glass. She emptied one of the tiny packets in the water and stirred it. She handed it to Luna who drank it. The girl had expected it to taste foul or gritty, but it had little taste. She handed the empty glass back to the Healer. The woman set the glass aside and sat at a desk.

“I’m also going to give you a bit of a pain potion to take if your pain gets to be more than you can manage. Some girls need them more than others, but I want you to be careful with them. You can experience cramps, headaches, nausea, vomiting and a few other things. If they become a problem, come back to see us.” Healer Kathlee gave Luna a reassuring smile. “Welcome to the wonderful world of being a woman.”

“I’ve been around girls enough I think I can keep an eye on her should any problems arise.” Thad chuckled. “When Stef comes back I will keep him updated on things.”

When they left the Healers, Luna seemed to be quiet. She carried a bag that contained the little boxes Healer Kathlee gave her. Thad let her have her thoughts as he had other things to think on himself. He didn’t mind helping the younger female trainees through their first times as women, as even some of the older girls shied away from the situation or reacted like the girl should know what’s happening. He and Stefen had long conversations on it, and the older man often agreed that women needed more understanding than some gave.

As the summer days grew warmer and longer, Luna kept to her weapons practice and spent long hours with Surya. Her Companion seemed to be a source of encouragement and sympathy as Luna adjusted to growing up. Though she’d grown a little, she wondered if she’d keep the short stature her mother had.

It was late summer when Luna received a special request. She’d been asked to play for another set of Nobles, as they were hosting a garden party. She dressed in her Bardic uniform and braided her hair, wrapping the braid into a smart bun. She’d recently bought herself a lute and this would be her first time playing it outside of classes. According to the note that had been tacked to her door, there would be two other players there so she wouldn’t be the only one playing.

She found a guard to lead her to the suite as it was in a part of the Palace she’d never been to. She didn’t recognize anyone in this part and something had her feeling slightly on edge. She couldn’t exactly put her finger on what was wrong though.

:Keep an eye out on me, will you Surya. There is something I don’t trust about this.: She sent to Surya. :I could just be a bit on edge though.:

:It’s just nerves, your first time playing for a new group, you’ll be fine.: Surya sent her a soothing mental caress.

She knocked on the door and a maid answered it. She stepped into the room and explained who she was. The maid nodded and shut the door. She led her to a room that overlooked a garden and she sat on a stool waiting for her. She pulled out her lute and began to tune it, not noticing that someone else had entered the room until the door shut with an ominous click.

Stefen was tired. He’d come back from the fairs in a fairly good mood. His songs seemed to have been liked, but he always had to change what he played. The music about things outside of magic seemed to be unfavorable. He didn’t understand it. People wanted heroes and plenty of the Heralds he wrote about had done extraordinary things with the gifts they had. The problem is they wanted mages. There were no more mages in Valdemar and probably would not be for a very long time.   He carried his packs into his room, having had most of his gear cleaned at the last inn he’d stayed at.

He dropped the packs on the floor and set his gittern case on his bed. He noticed a crumpled set of reddish brown clothes on the floor, but he didn’t really take note. He stepped into the privy, more intent on a more pressing matter than anything around him.

Luna sat huddled behind a curtain that shielded the shower area from the rest of the room. She heard someone coming in and the thumps of things hitting the floor. She tried to keep quiet, thinking those who had attacked her had found her. She heard the door to the privy open and the fumbling of cloth. Soon she heard a trickle of liquid and held her breath.   After a few seconds, the sounds stopped and she could hear cloth rustling again. She let out a soft breath.

“Luna? Are you in here?” Stefen asked. He looked at the floor and that is when he noticed small droplets of blood. They led into the shower, with a bloody handprint clearly visible. He pulled the curtain back.

Luna sat huddled in the floor, her back a mess of bruises.    The arm he could see was bruised in several places, but fortunately her hand seemed unharmed.   He snatched a towel off the shelf and wrapped it around her shoulders. He could hear her start crying. Out in the other room he could hear someone come in, then knock on their door.   Herald Tantras stepped into the room and Stefen looked out.

“Have you seen Luna? She was supposed to report for a garden reception a few marks ago and apparently she didn’t show up.” He sounded worried. “This isn’t like her.”

“She’s in here Tran, and we need a Healer. Can you help me get her into my bed?” Stefen asked.

Stefen laid a towel on the bed after pulling down the covers. Together they helped Luna to Stefen’s bed, and Stefen grabbed one of her gowns. He dressed her as Tran left the room to fetch a Healer.

“I showed up for that reception, but I think they got the time wrong. There wasn’t anyone there yet so I started to warm up when someone hit me.” Luna said. Stefen had a little bit of trouble understanding her because her face was a mass of bruises. Her left eye was swollen shut and her lips were split and puffy. “I can’t feel Surya.”

“Luna, I hate to ask…” Stefen looked at the streaks of blood that ran down Luna’s legs. “Are you…”

Luna shook her head. Stefen felt a chill race along his spine. He had hoped that it was possible the girl had her moon days, but her denial had him uneasy. The fact she couldn’t feel her Companion was not good. Stefen heard a few more people entering the sitting room and some very angry voices had Luna cowering into the bedding.

“Her instrument was found in that suite. She was there, no matter what you or your misbegotten offspring say. Your son’s friend was found playing it, and his hand was busted up.” Lynnell’s angry voice was sharp. “So are you going to tell us that you allowed a wild party with a minor child attending?”

“No, it was supposed to be a quiet affair. Yes, my son wanted to have the reception for his friend’s birthday, but I don’t think he knew this would happen.” A man’s voice could be heard, sounding quite shocked.

More arguing could be heard and Stefen stepped out into the sitting room. He glared around the room as Lord Withen stepped in. He pointed to their room and Withen disappeared through the door. He heard the man murmuring softly to the girl.

“It is clear to me what’s happened to her. She’s been beaten and raped. So, my Lord, the only person I know who could want that sort of revenge on Luna was…” Stefen was cut off by Lynnell.

“When did he get back?” Lynnell whirled on the older man with a rather nasty glare on her face. “Why would you ask for Luna, Lord Downly?”

“I wasn’t aware she was specifically asked for. When I made the request, it was for a quartet. Apparently my request was counteracted.” Lord Downly said glumly. “I had wanted to have four players who have played together.”

“That’s not the request we have. It was that you had asked for four players to wander among the guests. She was asked for, by name.” Lynnell said with a dangerous edge to her voice. “Had we known that Nicholas would be there, she would not have been sent.”

“She’s one of your finest students, everyone who has heard her says so.” Lord Downly stated. “I will pay for the repairs to her instrument and case and whatever fees she incurs with the Healers.”
Stefen stepped back into the bedroom to see that Withen had tucked Luna under the covers and was softly talking to her. He had expected her to be afraid of men, but he wasn’t sure. She was listening to him talking to her, nodding or shaking her head in response to his questions. He heard more commotion in the outer room and Withen grumbled.

“You’d think they would have the sense to keep their voices down. Every time they start to shouting, I have to calm her down.” The older man growled. “Shh, it’s alright, no one is going to hurt you.” He added softly.

“Lord Downly said he’ll pay for the repairs to her instrument. I am quite glad she didn’t take her gittern.” Stefen sighed. He picked up his own instrument and tuned it quickly. He sat on the bed and began playing and they both could see the look of pain ease from Luna’s features. “Hopefully they can get someone here quickly to see to her.”

Herald Tantras rushed into the room with Healer Kathlee close on his heels. Withen moved away to let the Healer examine Luna.   Stefen continued to play as she dropped into a Healing trance, to tend to some of the worst injuries. He knew that by him playing it would help the Healer work more effectively on her own, as he was controlling Luna’s pain. He would give anything to help the girl, he’d rather be in her place.

He watched as the swelling in her face lessened and some of the wounds closed. The bruises faded to a lighter shade, but would still be there. Another Healer entered and moved in to aid in the process. The new Healer put her hands on Luna’s forehead after wiping away a few tears that were streaking down her face. After what seemed like several marks, both Healers pulled away. Stefen finished the melody he was playing and sagged against the headboard.

“She had a few broken ribs and a concussion in addition to the injuries you’ve seen.” Healer Kathlee said. “She had a little bit of tearing that I was able to fix. Thank you for playing, Stef, that helped us work without having to use pain blocks.”

“Anything to help her,” Stefen looked down and noticed that Luna had drifted into a sleep. “What about mental trauma?”

“She’s quite resilient. I think when she’s ready to talk, let her, but don’t try to coax it out of her. From what I can see in her memories, she doesn’t understand what has happened. I think whatever they did, the rape happened while she was unconscious.” Healer Kathlee said. Something about her words brought back a memory for Stefen.

“She has some friends a bit north of Forst Reach, where Herald Trainee Trey’s from. When she’s recovered enough, would it hurt to take her to them?” Stefen asked. He secretly hoped that Moondance or Starwind could help her. That is, if she remembered the rape at all.

“We have mind healers who can help her, but if the trauma is too much, then we’ll look into that.” The other Healer said. “The fact that she seemed alright with men around her might mean the trauma hasn’t surfaced, if she remembers it at all.”

Stefen knew that sometimes rape victims buried the trauma, and that it would take time to work through it. He never wanted something like this to happen to the girl, and he truly wished that he had easy access to a number of friends who could help her. He didn’t believe that Lord Downly hadn’t known something like this was in the works, it was too convenient and he was too quick to offer to pay. The poor girl was only twelve, too young an age to even understand what had happened.
Stefen pulled himself up off the bed and allowed the healers to spend a few more moments with her. He stepped out into the outer room and reached for the lute in Bard Lynnell’s hands. He inspected it. It was a finely crafted instrument with a mother of pearl inlay of a crescent moon. He knew why Luna had chosen it, there was no damage to it. He could see that a few of the strings had been cut, but that was something he could fix for her. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Lord Withen standing behind him.

“Looks like the repairs will be easy for the instrument. I hope she recovers and I know you will be her biggest support.” Withen said. “There is something you’ve been hiding.”

Lynnell nodded and stepped out. Withen led Stefen over to the couch and took the lute and set it in the chair. He sat down and patted the seat beside him. Stefen dropped wearily into the seat and sighed. This was something he never wanted to share with anyone, let alone Vanyel’s parents. It was a memory he could hardly bear to stare down on the best of days. He knew sooner or later, he’d have to face it down to help someone else in that same position. How could he walk two people he deeply cared for though such a trauma?

“It’s not that I want to hide it, it’s just a painful memory for me. It’s something I hoped I would never have to tell you or Treesa. When Vanyel and I went north, some of that dark mage’s men caught Van. They did something to him that made him immobile, and carried him off. When they ambushed us, I did as he told me and ran.” Stefen hung his head, trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall. “I found Yfandis, and was able to help her. We went looking for him and found him at a rundown keep.”

Stefen had to pause, the memory overpowered him. He could still clearly see the images from that night, the rage he felt form Vanyel was overpowering. The broken look in his eyes when he’d gotten him calm, the shock that kept him silent for days. He felt Withen’s arm wrap around his shoulder, offering warmth and support.

“Yfandis and I were trying to figure out a way to go in to rescue him when part of the building just exploded. There were bodies everywhere, and there he was, in the middle of it. His eyes and that amber pendant I got him were this eerie red.” Stefen took a deep breath. “They’d beaten him and I guess when they tired of that, they raped him.”

He heard Withen make a sharp gasp. Stefen sat trembling, expecting anger from Withen, when instead he got a tight hug. Stefen turned and was enveloped in a tight hug, and he couldn’t hold back. He wept as brokenly as he had then. For what seemed like a long time, he cried out the pain and the anger he’d felt then.

“You only did what he told you to do. By you running you made a rescue possible. You can’t control what others do, and you can’t always protect those you love. One thing that I think will help our little girl in there is you let her see your tears. You let her know you’re hurting just as bad as she is. This sort of thing doesn’t just affect the victim, it affects those around them.” Withen released Stefen and pulled away to look in his eyes. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned after years of being a father is you never stop being afraid for your children. I know you love that girl, and you trying to be strong will only make you weak. I learned that the hard way with Van. I had wanted him to be a strong man like I saw myself, and it was almost too late before I realized that in his own way, he was a far better man than I was.”

“I just wish I had come home sooner, maybe it wouldn’t have happened…” Stefen started but Withen cut him off.

“Now don’t you start that, you and I both know that had that boy really wanted to get his hands on her, he’d make a way. Bad people seem to always have a way of getting things to go their way. All we can do is help her pick up the pieces. If you try to be all strong for her she’ll hide her tears from you. I’m not saying to go and sob all over her, but in her own way she’ll let you know when she’s ready.” Withen patted his shoulder. “I need to get back, we’ll probably have a session to discuss this ordeal and dealing with it.”

Stefen nodded and watched as the man left the room.   He felt a little better about the situation, as he felt as if he was at fault for leaving in the first place.   He sat thinking for a long time, not noticing that the sun was creeping lower, making the room dark. Thad came in and began lighting candles and noticed Stefen sitting there. The news of what had happened was all over the Collegium and the word wasn’t good.

“It seems that we’re going to have two open seats in Counsel. Lord Downly was here to petition for one that was coming open in his region, and apparently he and that Counselor hatched the plan to bring that boy back. They knew they had to do it in secret because if anyone got wind that bastard was coming back, they would have had guards on him waking and sleeping. How they ever convinced Bardic to send her is beyond me. I hear they’re changing the rules that any student with less than two years training will not be allowed to perform solo without their mentor.” Thad shook his head. “I don’t mind accompanying Luna with the Lady Treesa, but they may require you to go with her.”

“Right now, I would have to say unless it’s for Lady Treesa, she’s not to play for anyone. The only thing I can think of is because Treesa gets away with it, others thought they could demand her. No one has asked for Luna except Treesa. Unless things happened while I was out.” Stefen sighed.

“She played for a few of the Ladies that gather with Treesa. In my experience, she’s never played to mixed crowds. She doesn’t have the experience for the sort of gathering she was called for. The closest would have been that night Trey told me about before she got here.” Thad looked up as a servant came in and set up a supper. “Looks like we’re having a cold supper tonight.”

Stefen got up and went into their room, noticing that Herald Tantras was sitting by the bed holding Luna’s hand. The healers must have slipped out while he was lost in his thoughts. He could see that nearly all of the swelling in her face was now gone, but the bruises would take time to fade. He heard soft movement behind him and turned to see Thad bringing in two plates of food. Tantras accepted one with a smile.

“She’s sleeping for now, for some reason, they managed to not harm her hands or strangle her. She spoke to Surya for a bit. They knocked her out before she could even call out, and Surya thought she was null because she was performing. Though I did find out that Luna felt something was off and told Surya as much.” Tantras ate slowly. “Any news about what’s happening?”

“Withen said he was going to check and see if they were going to hold a Session. Seeing as that someone with a Seat was behind this, it’s likely to last half the night. They may not have summoned him before because he was with her.” Stefen sighed and ate the food Thad handed him. “We had a long talk though.”

“I heard you two talking, and I think he’s right. For her to know you are hurting for her can help. I’m sorry you have to face this again though, I can’t even imagine how it felt for you that first time.” Tantras said. “I mean helping someone you are close to…”

“When I agreed to be her mentor, I knew what I was getting into, Tran. I’ve seen it in the streets when I grew up, which helped me with Van, and all that will help me with this. We’ll just have to be each other’s support.” Stef smiled. “But that’s how it’s supposed to be for friends.”

“That’s true, Stef. The Healer gave her a dose of her potion and wants her to take it twice tomorrow, just as a precaution.” Tantras said.

“This just doesn’t seem right, talking about taking those precautions.   We can’t stop this from happening to anyone, but it isn’t fair.” Thad said, carrying in the soup. “She’s twelve!”

“I know it doesn’t seem fair, Thad, but it is a precaution we’ve had to take in the past. All we can do is help her past this.” Tantras said and moved so Thad could set the soup on a bed side table.

Thad reached down and very lightly touched Luna. She took a sharp inhale and began to wake up. She blinked her eyes a few times and looked around the room. Stefen spotted the fear in her eyes before the others did and set his plate down to rush to her side.

“Shh, Luna, it’s alright. You’re safe.” He said softly, gently taking her hand. She looked up at him and he could feel her trembling. “Do you need anything, little one?”

Luna moved to push the covers back, but found she was weak. Stefen moved the blankets and she struggled to sit up. He helped her, careful not to touch her bruises. He moved her to sit on the side of the bed and she stood to take a few shaky steps on her own. She fumbled for his hand and he took hers, and let her lead the way to the privy.   She allowed him to help her arrange her clothing and sit. He moved to step out and she shook her head.

“Please stay. Was I asleep long?” She still sounded tired, her voice a little unsteady.

“The Healers saw to your injuries. It’s possible that some of what they did made you sleepier than you would be normally.” Stefen turned his head away, trying to give the girl some privacy.

“I’m not going to explode or puke all over you.” Luna said, somewhat testily. “I’m almost afraid of it hurting.”

Stefen blinked, he knew she was afraid because of what happened, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what she meant. He heard her gasp as he could hear a halting stream of liquid in the privy. He cringed inwardly, suddenly understanding. He could remember the same pained gasps coming from Vanyel, though a bit different.

“If it bothers you too much, I can get Kathlee to check you in the morning. Are you alright?” Stef asked.

“It stings for a moment, but I think I’ll be alright. I should be the one asking you if you are alright, you look pale.” Luna said as she took his hand. He turned his head to look back seeing a concerned look on her face.

“Oh, little one, I’m alright. I know you are the one who’s hurt and afraid right now.” Stefen couldn’t stop the tear that streaked down his cheek.

“You’re thinking of him, did someone hurt him, like I was?” Luna asked softly. “It’s okay, we can help each other.”

Stefen turned to look at her. He could see she was in pain, but it felt a bit inappropriate to sing to her right now. She squeezed his hand, though her strength was not nearly enough to cause him any pain at all, it was all he could do not to drop to his knee and hold her. She whimpered as she tried to finish, and he could feel her shaking.

“Take your time, sweetie. Don’t force yourself or it will hurt more.” He touched her cheek with his other hand. “I’ll stay right here, if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t want to seem like I’m taking too long. Someone else might need to come in here.” Luna said softly.

This time Stefen did kneel down by her and he gently took her face in his hands. She seemed a little startled but looked him in the eye. The tears streaked down his face seeing the pain in her eyes and for a moment, it wasn’t blue eyes he saw but silver. The fear and the pain were identical and he shook his head.

“There are other places they can go, I won’t let anyone rush you. Not for me, not for anyone else. I promise you that. Take your time.” He said softly but firmly. “If we have to be here all night, that’s fine.”

She finally relaxed. He wondered how badly she was hurting the healing broken ribs by holding herself so tightly. When she relaxed, she realized it made things a bit easier for her. He could hear her sigh of relief. He stood and wet a wash rag in the shower and helped her stand. He tried to hand her the rag but when she let go of him, he felt her trembling. He winced as he gently wiped her, trying his best not to scare her.

“I’m alright, Stef. Thank you for helping me, you don’t scare me. I know you wouldn’t hurt me like that.” Luna held on to him as he opened the door. He dropped the rag on the pile of clothing that still lay there.

Stefen helped Luna lay back in the bed then went to wash his hands. When he came back, she was carefully eating the soup.   He bent to examine the clothes that still lay on the floor, seeing tears and bloody places. He saw dirt in places and winced. How she had made it back to her rooms without creating chaos he didn’t know. The breeches were shredded, the tunic ripped from throat to hemline. He shook his head and pitched the whole pile into the rubbish bin.   He wouldn’t even try to repair them or allow them back into these rooms. Tantras gave him a funny look but appeared to understand.

“I know you are as good with a needle and thread as Van was. I do understand why you don’t want that particular outfit saved though. It’s like you are saving me from the pain he had.” Luna said softly. He turned to look at her.

“Luna, you’re right, I could fix them. Every time you wore them though, they’d only be a reminder of what happened. Even I couldn’t fix those tears and cuts. It would be better if we had something that didn’t remind you.” Stefen went to the bed and sat next to Luna. “The clothes he wore that night, I had to repair them as it’s all he had. That’s not the case here.”

“You’re right, Stef. I think I’ll talk to someone about her not wearing those outfits, not for a while.” Tantras said. “I think I’ll sleep on the couch in your sitting room.” With that, the Herald turned and left the room.

Thad carried the empty dishes out. Stefen could hear him and Tantras speaking in the outer room. He sagged wearily into the mattress. What he wanted more than anything was sleep, but he realized that with all that had been going on, he had never even showered after coming in from the road. He felt sticky and gritty. He sighed and heaved himself to his feet again and staggered into the privy room.

“Please leave the door open.” Luna said softly as she pulled the curtain a little to give him privacy. “I won’t feel so alone.”

“That’s fine by me, Luna. I’ll be quick.” Stefen shed his clothes quickly and stepped into the tiny cubicle. Though he noticed that no one had done anything with her clothes, they had cleaned up the blood.

Thad peeked in on Luna and saw she was still sitting up in the bed. She had the curtain pulled a little, blocking the view into the tiny room that served as a privy and shower. It was a clever idea, the waste water from the shower filled a little butt that flushed the waste away. He sat on the side of the bed next to her and touched her hand.

“Tantras is going to sleep in the sitting room, Michael near the door in and I’ll sleep in your bed. There are guards stationed outside in the hall. We don’t think there will be trouble, but we don’t want to take any chances.” He reached over and touched her cheek. “I didn’t really see you before but it looks like they did a good job. The healers want you to rest for a couple of days, they will be back in the morning to check up on you.”

“That’s good, I don’t think I can walk there. Walking to the privy hurt, and it hurt…” Luna trailed and bit her lip, then she whispered. “It hurt to pee.”

“I think that’s not an uncommon experience. You did have some tearing down there and some cuts. Though I didn’t have that particular problem, it did hurt when I had to go… you know.” Thad chuckled. “I know it’s embarrassing, but with Stef and I, well we can understand. I know we’re men, but we’ve both been through the trauma of rape. I had to deal with the trauma on my own, and Stef’s seen the effects.”

“More than you know, Thad.” Stefen said, and Luna could hear him drying off. “I’ve seen it happen to both males and females out in the streets and I had to help Vanyel recover. I’d would rather walk on broken glass than see her or anyone else dealing with this.”

“I sensed that, Stefen. I could see the pain in your eyes when you found me. I don’t think he’ll blame you for this, so please don’t blame yourself. I don’t.” Luna said softly. “I blame the person who did this, simply because he could not accept he does not have the gift.”

“Luna, you are a child. He’s older than Thad. An adult has no right to do what was done to you.” Stefen gritted out. “I’d like to put my hands on his arrogant neck and squeeze the life out of him.”

“That would get you nothing but what he is getting right now, sitting in gaol.” Thad said. “There may be several more sitting there before the week is out. It’s late, and this little one needs rest.”
Together they tucked her back in to bed and she looked pleadingly at Stefen. He smiled to her and crawled into the bed next to her. He wasn’t going to leave her side unless she asked, and only then. Before he realized it, he was sound asleep.

*Dream*

Stefen sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. Something about the room was wrong. There were two chairs by a fireplace. A low table sat between them. He looked around and saw Vanyel sitting next to him. This was impossible, Vanyel was dead. His job was not even close to being done, so surely there had to be another reason.

“There is, ashke. Luna is going to need you more than you know right now. Starwind told you that she is like me in several ways, and one is hiding her pain. It is a blessing that she trusts you as much as she does. To have Thad and Tran as support as well, that’s better than expected.” Vanyel leaned down and kissed him softly. “I am proud of my father, and I agree with him. Share the feelings you had helping me with her. She knows that something happened to me and you were the person to help me the most.”

“But, Van, I failed her. I wasn’t there” Stefen faltered and Vanyel put his finger over his lips.

“You were doing exactly as I asked you to do. Just like last time. You had no control over what could happen, and I don’t blame you. It was all planned, even the boy trying to get into Bardic. They expected him to get in, but the truth is he misused the opportunity. He was entirely in the wrong.” Vanyel sighed. “I can’t say for certain, but due to his own talents, he knew better than to damage her hands or her voice. I think he thought this would break her, and he’s greatly underestimating her.”

“That’s the truth. She’s a lot stronger than people give her credit for. She looks so small and helpless, I guess it makes her a target.” Stefen agreed. “I just wish I had a way to contact your friends, I feel she may need them.”

“Leave that part to me, ashke. Tell her I am very proud of her and thank you for giving her that gittern. I can feel it when she plays it and I think she plays it better than I could.” Vanyel said as he and the room faded into shadows, leaving Stefen sitting next to Luna. “I love you both…”

Stefen looked around the room, hearing Thad softly snoring in the other bed. His lips still tingled from the soft kiss. As moonlight illuminated the room, Luna rolled over and smiled.

“You’re welcome, I love you, too” She softly whispered into the shadows.

“As do I, ashke,” Stefen echoed in the darkness. “As do I.”
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Tears of the Phoenix