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Hook's Wendy	By : MarianTheBlackadder Category: M through R > Peter Pan > AU/AR Views: 4195 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
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It seemed that there was no happiness in sight for these two very unhappy souls. Although Hook had bestowed his name onto Caitlin, it was in formality only. He didn’t fully posses her in any other way then by a marriage vow. It was also true, that Caitlin didn’t fully posses the Captain either. She did not hold his trust, for he would not allow her to see his true self. He was to afraid that if she were to see, all hope and the few scattered moments of bliss they shared would be lost. He could not bare the thought of her eyes to look upon him with distain.

Their conversations grew quieter, decaying into long periods of awkward silence and avoiding casting glances in each other’s direction. Caitlin was suffering from a growing desire to go to him, but still, she dare not. He’d turned her away when she’d tried to advance the last time, and could find comfort in telling herself that he would let her know when it was alright to come to him. Neither of these two newly weds were sleeping hardly at all after they retired. In an attempt to remedy this problem, James had another small bedroom built into his Cabin. Hoping that perhaps they would both be able to rest in privacy, rather then uncomfortably remaining in each other’s presence. But it did little to ease either of their sufferings. If anything it made it worse, for now they suffered in the open when they were alone, instead of trying to keep it hidden.

Caitlin would lie awake during the dark hours of the early morning, listening to the rhythmic footfalls of her husbands pacing on the wood floor of the Cabin. There we’re other times when she heard far worse. Such as the sound of breaking glass against the walls, shouting and curses of pain, frustration, agony, uncertainty, all mixed together in a strain of suffering that had driven lesser men mad. Caitlin still could not remember very much, if anything, about her life before she was brought to Neverland. She relied on James and what he told her as the only link to her lost life. Even with this darkness that held her past a secret, she couldn’t help but feel she knew what he needed. As if she’d been there before herself.

Finally one night, she lie awake as usual, listening to the footsteps along the timbers of the ship floor. Counting 12 steps one way, and then the same 12 steps back. The same number as they always held every night since it began. Her mind seemed to be running particularly fast tonight, as she had made a decision that she would find someway to comfort him, even if she herself could not be comforted. Her breath caught in her throat when the foot falls stopped and moved towards his bed and the candle light that crept under the door disappeared. He’d laid down now, to lay awake drowning in merciless thought, lonely feelings, and a defeating emptiness that felt as if it could smother you in the darkness without so much as a second thought. Caitlin could not stand this nightly routine any longer.

Hook didn’t even bother to remove his boots, much less his sash, shirt, or the bindings that harnessed his body. The tightness of which he wore it, served as a constant reminder of his sins past, and the hell that he must endure. He found it strange as he lie thinking to himself, for it seemed he had lost some memories with his venture into the real world. He could not remember if he’d always been this miserable, or it had just been increased twice over in punishment for his leaving in the first place. “Someday, we shall all be free of this torturous purgatory. Upon our escape we shall find our eternities at long last, which ever way we may fall.” His eyes closed as he shook his head giving a groan, he’d gotten used to speaking out loud to himself. He began this ages ago under the assumption it was the only possible way he could find intelligent conversation.

He lay thinking about that night they had shared together, the caring touch that had caressed his face and the softness of her virgin crimson lips that had never before bestowed a kiss on another. This thought did bring a small smile to his lips, all those young men that had pursued her while she was engrossed in her studies as handsome and dashing as they were, never where held in high enough regard to receive a kiss from this wondrous girl. He smirked a bit his jealousy he’d suffered watching them being able to approach her, turned into pity for those souls. But the smile faded as he found himself not being able to remember her gentle kiss as clear as he’d been able to recall at first.

His eyes opened suddenly feeling the air in the room move and change, interrupting his concentration. Sitting up just in time to see Caitlin appear in the darkness and approach his bedside. “Caitlin? What is it, what’s wrong?” James quickly moved to rise to see what could have frightened her. But Caitlin reached her hand up placing it gently upon his chest to keep him from getting up.

“Shh James.” She whispered sitting beside him, looking down into his eyes. Her long hair was down, and hung in dancing curls about her face. Hook wasn’t sure what was going on, this was an extremely bold move for her, considering what little had gone on between them the past few weeks. Their words having dissolved into empty greetings and well wishing. As if they were two strangers condemned to each others company. A question look rested in his eyes as he gazed at her. “James . . .” She began in a soft and gentle voice, searching for the words she wished to say night after night. “We can not go on this way.” Caitlin’s fingers reached up, carefully brushing back the hair that had fallen across his face. “It seems as if we are not even trying any longer, we exist and that’s all. We must start somewhere.” She whispered looking into his eyes.

Hook just remained silent, continuing to keep his gaze into her merciful face. At this point, he would give anything to feel that touch that had graced his skin that one night. He’d longed for it, dreaming of it night after night.

Caitlin could see he was uncomfortable. Only God himself would know when the last time he’d gotten dressed into bed clothes, or had a decent nights rest. Keeping her eyes on his she stood slowly moving to his feet, removing each of his boots and setting them by the foot of the bed. Hook just watched, his crystal blue eyes catching what small bit of moonlight crept through the heavy velvet drapes. He could see her beautifully delicate hands had mended well from the injuries that had been inflicted upon them, as they moved to the sash he wore about his waist, slowly slipping the cloth from it’s knot pulling it away from his body. She folded it neatly and placed it on the bedside table, sitting beside him on the bed once more. Giving him a moment to adjust to this before she moved on in her efforts.

James hesitated a moment but then moved to brush his fingertips over her arm through the material of her nightgown sleeve. Caitlin reached for his hand as soon as she felt his touch. Her eyes moved to his once more, bringing his hand to her lips and kissing the sore knuckles that had been striking the wooden doors and walls on a nightly basis for sometime, resting her cheek against it as she held it close. It was the first time he’d touched her in weeks, after he pushed her away that night it got less and less until there was no contact at all. It was heart crushing when she’d realize it.

The relief this small act of affection gave Hook, was overwhelming and his eyes closed just wanting to feel her soft skin and warm breath once more. Caitlin watched him continuing to caress his hand. However, she was not finished yet, there was still much she was resolved to do this night. She simply could not live like this anymore. Reaching slowly she took a hold of the base of his Hook, which took the place of his wrist that had left his body with his hand it seemed. His eyes opened looking at her, watching her closely. Caitlin’s eyes moved to his a moment, before moving back to his artificial appendage, cautiously she unlocked the Iron Hook from it’s seat, slowly untwisting it until it fell from the metal threads that held it in place. The look in her eyes was not that of malice with the intention of disarming him, or fear. It was more a look of concern for the man who wore it, rather then fear of the blasted thing itself. Reaching over towards the table, she set it down beside his sash.

This was much further then they had ever explored before. The fact that it was begun completely unprompted was what kept him at bay. He was curious, but also anxious and a bit uneasy at the same time. Caitlin’s hands moved back to his body once more, finding the ties of his white undershirt, she pulled them free. Their eyes locked on each other’s gaze, for it was obvious at what came next and Caitlin found herself back at the place she was once before. Careful fingers reached for the hem of his shirt, as she started to raise it, but as before, it jerked James out of his trance like admiration for her. He bolted upright into a sitting position beside her, “Caitlin . . . please.” He whispered to her in the darkness. Releasing his shirt once more she reached up tendering cupping his cheek in her hand, letting her fingertips caress his skin. Trying to put his fears at rest.

“My wish, for days and days has been to comfort you and ease your suffering, James. Not even being sure if I could.” Her words fell gently on his ears as the touch of her hand seemed to ensnare him once more, closing his eyes leaning his face further into her palm. “Let me try James, let me unburden you. Let me try and lift the weight that’s been crushing you from your shoulders.” Her voice whispered seeking permission. Caitlin couldn’t help but feel that it was her being here that was causing him so much inner turmoil. Perhaps it was something he had to deal with before, but it seemed her presence had increased it considerably. Surely his injury had occurred after their marriage was arranged and the dowry was paid. Such as he was now, she could not imagine it was possible that he’d asked for her hand otherwise.

Hook’s blue eyes opened looking deep into hers. She was right; the not knowing affected his sleep as much as anything else. The burden that he carried was that of wanting to be the way he was before all of the injuries and hate had twisted him into the monster that he had become. He could not ask her to be married to him forever, but stay in a separate room and never ever have his trust with no explanation. He would let her continue as far as she could. Now, he would at least put an end to the constant wondering of what might be.

Caitlin saw the look in his face that seemed to say he surrendered to her entries, but there was uncertainty and nervousness there as well. As strong and commanding of a leader that this man was, it was something that no one anywhere could have ever expected to see in those crystal blue eyes, that were often so dark with cruelty. She leaned forward kissing his cheek ever so tenderly, one more final moment hoping to spark a bit more courage into him. It seemed as if he could face an entire army or fleet without flinching or batting an eye, but facing his wife and letting her in was the one thing that drained him of his confidence.

James closed his eyes when he saw her hands move down once more, to grasp the hem of his shirt. Caitlin saw this and waited for a moment before moving slowly and carefully lifting it until she could pull it over his head and down his arms. Hooks eyes remained closed, as if waiting for a shriek or scream of horror when her eyes fell upon him.

Caitlin put his shirt aside before turning back to him, her eyes wondering over his body. There were scars from battle wounds that had happened over the years, including the cut that she’d mended not but a few weeks ago. More horrid and defined scars that belonged to much more impressive and painful wounds, were easily seen. The leather and metal bindings that held his body, encased his entire arm in a tight death hold. As if it held him prisoner to it’s binds. She could see where the leather cut into his arm and chest but didn’t break the skin. She didn’t like the way that it seemed to challenge her, holding his body in its grasp not looking as if it was willing to let go. For several long moments, she remained deathly silent as her eyes studied the harness that entrapped him.

Hook waited for something, anything, not wanting to open his eyes to find her turned away and shielding her face, or to in shock and horror to move her eyes away from him. Millions of visions of what he imagined her reactions might be to his body played through in his mind. His thoughts came to a sudden halt when he felt her fingertips touch his chest, without a sound from her lips. He’d not been expecting this.

Opening his eyes, he saw Caitlin gaze fully on the leather straps. Holding a look that said, “he’s mine, let him go.” Her fingertips made there way to the hook and clasp, studying how it fastened together. There was no fear, no repulse, horror or disgust in her face. Reaching up with her other hand, she removed the hook opening the clasp of the leather strap across his chest. She pulled it away from his skin, causing him to gasp at the feeling of freedom that washed over him. He’d not taken it off in quiet sometime; the marks cut into his skin and had limited his circulation were testament to that.

Caitlin reached sliding the straps off his body and raised his right arm, removing the series of leather and chain that seemed to hold onto him for all it’s worth. However Caitlin was determined, and her will was stronger then anything that horrid thing held to claim him. With one strong pull, she released his arm from its mechanical master. His breath was deep in his chest, as he groaned loudly, feeling the blood return to the strangled parts of his body. Quickly, Caitlin moved the contraption from the bed, putting it on the side table with his other things.

Her arms returned to her Captain body, as a huge title wave of exhaustion had suddenly crashed over his being. She helped him to lay down, putting another pillow behind his shoulders to make him more comfortable. As she had promised, a large part of the burden was lifted off him and he felt as if he could breathe. The bind of leather, metal, and chains was just a thing. It was something that was constructed to hold his hook on his body that would not come off when he was cutting, or gutting someone. It was the fact that she could see past it, and she it as just an object that released him from a large burden he’d carried with him since they’d returned.

He lay back looking up at her, not willing to let go and submit to his bodies cry for sleep just yet. He wanted to know, he wanted his hopes to be confirmed or he could not rest, “What . . . do you see with your eyes Caitlin. You must tell me and tell me true.” He whispered between deep labored breaths. All the weariness of the weeks gone pasted flooded his eyes as he looked to her waiting for her answer.

Caitlin looked into his questioning eyes for several long moments, his blue eyes that seemed to beg for the release that would let him rest comfortably, the ease that his mind so desperately needed. “I wait to see this monster that you spoke of James. For the only ones I see here are you and I.” Her eyes shifted to his arm that once held a hand, carefully reaching for it, she lifted his arm looking over the old, long since healed wound.

Hook grew nervous for a moment his body tensed tight; he thought for certain that he was about to see the look he had long feared cross her face. But she surprised him yet again, as she bent down; placing a tender kiss against the sensitive scar that had been left behind. Her eyes moved back to his face, “It’s been along time since your hand was stolen away from you James.” Holding his arm to her heart, keeping her eyes on his, “But now . . . you have two more. To take the place of the one that was lost.” Moving her hands to his face, she caressed the lines of his handsome features with her fingertips. “These hands are yours James, they were given to you on our wedding day.”

He could not believe this scene that had just played out between them. His eyes closed as a smile swept across his face, this was just as the dreams he had before things went horribly wrong between them. “I wish to stay awake with you Caitlin, if I fall asleep . . . this might be just another dream that will come to an end. You will return to your room and I shall never know this is real.”

Her eyes wondered over his face, for a moment and she leaned down kissing his lips ever so carefully, moving to look into his face once more. “It’s alright James, I’ll stay with you. When you wake, I promise you I’ll still be here at your side.” She whispered as she lay next him, reaching up placing her hand on his arm so that he would know that she was there.

The smile remained on his face as he fell into a deep long desired blissful slumber.
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Hook's Wendy