Adult-FanFiction.org : Books

Affairs of the Heart	By : CaptainParisStarr Category: G through L > The Infernal Devices (Series) > The Infernal Devices (Series) Views: 2984 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Infernal Devices franchise, any characters mentioned in this story, or make money, profit, or earn a living off the story.

Chapter List
- 1-Jem
- 2-Will
- 3-Colin
- 4-Jem
- 5-Will
- 6-Colin
- 7-Will
- 8-Jem
- 9-Will
- 10-Colin
- 11-Will
- 12-Jem
- 13-Will
- 14-Jem
- 13
- 14
Jem sighed and picked up his violin, once more unable to sleep. Over the weeks and months since he had finally bedded Will, Jem's health had steadily declined. The strain of having to overcome an addiction to sex as well as his ever-present addiction to yin fen were mostly to blame, though only Will knew that. Even Charlotte was kept in the dark about Jem's second addiction.
As hard as it was, Jem had abstained from sexual contact since leaving Will's bed that night. When the urge for sex became unbearable, he forced himself to play his violin, the music providing a means of escaping the pain. And, little by little, he had overcome the second addiction, while succumbing more and more to the first.
When his door opened, he called out to Will without glancing over, only to get no reply. Calling out again, he stopped playing and finally glanced over at the door. A young woman stood in the doorway, studying him curiously, and shamelessly, and he had to fight not to blush as he saw that she was dressed for bed.
“You're not Will.” He studied her back as she stammered an apologetic explanation of why she had barged into his room, and he incredibly felt a faint stirring of arousal low in his stomach. Was he not over his sexual addiction? Or was it her, was he somehow attracted to her, despite his proclivity towards men?
Without much focus on what he was saying, he explained that Will had told him who she was- the shape-shifter girl, Tessa Gray. All the while, he studied her, trying to figure out why he was feeling arousal; and he had to admit, after a few moments of careful consideration, that she was beautiful. But female beauty usually meant nothing to him, so why was she an exception?
Wanting to study this new feeling more, he invited her to ask him any questions she had, and soon found himself relaxing and warming to the conversation.
Will's arrival proved to be a welcome distraction, however, even as he teased Tessa for wandering into Jem's bedroom at night. Not that the teasing lasted long, as Jem was soon doubled over coughing, and Will shooed Tessa away.
“What do you really think about her?” Jem asked, after downing his medicine.
“Hmm? Oh, you mean Tessa?” Wills eyes dropped, and he seemed thoughtful. “I'm not sure yet what to think. Except...” He broke off.
“Except what?” Jem frowned, wondering if Will had picked up on his reaction to Tessa.
“Her shape-shifting power... I wonder if she could use it to help you. We never did find out anything more about his death...”
“No! Absolutely not. Tessa's been through hell already, I can't ask her to use her power for my sake.” Jem sighed, and fiddled with his violin case.
“Jem...” Will embraced him from behind. “You need closure, and she may be the only one who can give it to you.”
“My answer is still no.” Jem pulled away, and returned his violin case to its usual corner of the room. When he turned around, he found the room empty, even though he had not heard Will leave.
That night, his dreams were plagued with visions of Tessa, trying to please him by shifting into Colin, but being trapped half way, bleeding to death, or failing outright; and more than once he woke to find his pillow damp with tears.
The next morning, however, he found himself unwilling to stay in bed any longer, and felt strong enough to resume his normal Shadowhunter duties. After he carefully dressed himself, he headed downstairs to breakfast, his mind still replaying scenes from his nightmares.
It wasn't until that night, after he had returned from investigating the brothel with Will, that Jem had any further time to reflect upon his attraction to Tessa. Was that the reason why he was so adamantly against her using her powers to Change into Colin? Or was it just too painful for him to see Colin again, like that?
“Jem? Are you okay?” Jem started, not having heard his bedroom door open.
“Yes, I'm fine, Will.” Jem felt an impulse to kiss Will even though he no longer had any desire to have sex with his friend, but it passed almost instantly. “Is there something you want?”
“Have you thought more about what I suggested last night?”
Jem shook his head. “No, Will. It's not fair to Tessa to ask her to Change into Colin.”
“Are you sure that's your real reason for saying no, or are you just scared?”
“I am scared, yes, but that's never held me back before. I was scared the first day I met with Colin, yet I still went. Why should this be any different?”
“Because it is different. Before you were scared of public reaction to you being a homosexual, now you're scared of your heart breaking all over again. You're scared of hoping that she can help, because she could fail.” Will took a deep breath before he continued. “But you need to know. You act tough, so that no one knows how much pain you're in, and nothing can change now unless you let it.”
“Will...”
“Let Tessa help, if she can. If she cannot, at least she'll have tried. Ask her, the worst she can do is say no.”
Jem shook his head. “Will...”
“Ask me what?” Both boys started at the sound of Tessa's voice as neither had heard her door open across the hall. When both just stared at her in shock, she repeated her question. “Ask me what? Will? Jem? What do you want to ask me?”
Will looked over at Jem, who sighed. “Come in and close the door.” Hesitantly she complied, but stayed close to the door, knowing how improper it was for her to be in a man's bedroom at night without being wed to him.
“What Will wanted me to ask you was to... use your powers to Change into someone.”
“Who?” Tessa's expression turned wary, and she unconsciously took a step backwards, towards the door.
“A young man named Colin Forrester. He... was very dear to me, and...” Jem looked away as his throat closed up, choking off any further words he might have uttered.
“Colin died suddenly and violently, many weeks ago, and we never found out... who killed him. That is what we are asking, Tessa. If you could Change into Colin just long enough to tell us if he saw his attacker, saw the bas- person who ended his life.”
Tessa glanced from one young man to the other, then back again, carefully considering her answer. “What is it that you are not telling me? Why is this Colin so dear to Jem that he cannot even speak of him even though he's long dead?”
“Will knowing that change your answer?” Will asked, then sighed.
“He was my lover.” Jem whispered the words before Tessa could reply. “Yes, Tessa. Colin was as male as I am, and yet we were lovers, and in love. Please do not tell anyone else this; Only Will and Charlotte know the truth of my relationship with him, the rest think he was only a very dear friend of mine.” Jem's silver eyes gazed straight into Tessa's softer grey ones as he spoke.
Tessa drew a deep breath, then let it out. She thought about her aunt, and her parents; the pain she had felt when she had realized that she would never see them again, and finally the pain she felt at not knowing when she would once more see her brother. “I'll do it.” The words escaped her unconsciously, but she did not retract them. “I'll Change into Colin, for Jem. I have never used my power to willing help another before, but if it can be used that way, then it should be.”
Jem went to the desk, and retrieved the ring Will had recovered from Colin's body, which he had not worn since he had told Charlotte about Colin. But he hesitated before handing it to her, which Will saw, and he realized what the problem was.
“This might not work... Tessa, Colin was stabbed through the heart. Will that affect your ability to access his dying thoughts?” Will asked her on Jem's behalf.
Tessa paused, remembering how she had passed out after changing into someone who had been shot, and had bled out their blood. “I do not know. Maybe if I focus hard enough I can control the change enough to avoid bleeding too much.” But doubt was written across her face even as she spoke. “But I still have to try.” She held out her hand, and Jem placed the ring in the center of her palm as Will spread an oil cloth over the floor, to catch any blood that resulted from Tessa's Change, and Tessa moved herself to the very center.
Once in place, she closed her fingers over the ring, then closed her eyes and focused on Colin's presence in the ring, but felt something she had never felt before. Peace she had never known washed over her, and then she was Colin. But not Colin as he had been moments before death, no this Colin was strong and whole of body, radiating life rather than death.
“Jem, I have missed you more than you will ever know.” The words flowed through her and out of her mouth without conscious thought. “I love you, even in death I will always love you, and only you. Please, be happy, that is all I ask.”
Crying now, Jem stepped closer to Tessa/Colin. “Who did this? Who separated us through your death?”
“I don't know, for I never saw their faces. It was two men, both young and strong of body. After you left my flat that last night, I'd gone down to Whitechapel, jealous of how dependent you were being with Will. That he even bought you your yin fen... it was more than I could bear. To show you that I can be depended on to, I planned to buy for you the drug, so that you could have a supply at my flat as well, and I did. The men jumped me as I left the drug den, mugged me for your drug. I never stood a chance, as they stabbed first, without saying a word. I was an idiot, to think that a normal Mundane such as myself would be safe in such an area... I put you through hell just to prove my worth to you... can you ever forgive me?”
“Yes, yes of course I can. Colin, I love you too and that will never change. Part of me will always love you, even as I give my heart to another.” Stepping close, forgetful that it was Tessa and not Colin who truly stood before him, he hugged her tight for a brief moment, then stepped back. “Please, be at peace and do not worry about me.”
Smiling, Tessa felt Colin's presence slip away, and then she was herself again. Collapsing to her knees, momentarily lightheaded, she heard footsteps approach her, and then a warm hand was laid upon her shoulder.
“Thank you.” Looking up, she found herself gazing into Jem's eyes, eyes that were noticeably warmer than they had been moments before, despite being filled with unshed tears. Will was standing behind him, his eyes filled with thanks and concern.
“I am fine, just dizzy.” Taking Jem's hand, she rose to her feet. “This was unlike any Change I had ever experienced before.”
“You did not simply Change into Colin; you actually housed his spirit for a few moments. He helped you Change, then took control of your body for long enough to get his message to me.” Jem didn't know where his certainty came from, but even as he spoke the words, he knew that they were true.
“I channelled him... Yes, that makes sense.” Then she looked at him. “Was it painful for you, to see him again, like this?”
“Yes, but it was nothing compared to the pain of not knowing. I had wondered if he hadn't been killed for... liking boys in general, and for liking me. But now that I know the truth, I can begin to heal. So, thank you, Tessa. Thank you for helping me.”
She could only smile as she realized the true magnitude of what she had done, then she turned to leave and return to her own room.
“You're welcome.” The words were whispered as she closed the door behind her, and Jem felt his heart loosen enough to begin to let her in. What he felt for her he didn't know. It wasn't love, being nothing like what he felt for either Colin or Will; but it wasn't simply caring, or compassion either. It was an entirely new feeling, and he wondered what it would one day blossom into. But for that night he was happy to simply let Will hold him as he cried out the last of his tears for Colin and began to allow his broken heart to heal at last.
End.
Authors Note: There will be several side stories coming, including a sex scene between Jem and Tessa, what happens when Will confront's Magnus Bane about that kiss, and what Gabriel Lightwood does after seeing Colin and Jem kissing in the alley. They will be seperate stories as they will all take place between scenes in the actual books, and I do not wish to touch too much on what Cassandra Clare had written, as the books are perfect the way they are. These stories are to add to the storyline, not to change it.
I hope everyone enjoyed reading this, and, as always, reviews are welcome.
- 13
- 14
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Affairs of the Heart