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Emptiness	By : Josephine1881 Category: M through R > The Phantom of the Opera > Slash Views: 8257 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Chapter Fifteen

The probing finger was pulled back as quickly as it had entered my body. Still the strange, uncomfortable feeling remained for a few more moments, before it vanished as well. Now Erik’s hand was only resting lightly on my hip.

“It appears that I got carried away,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Can we go on now?”

But it was too late. Whether nor not he had meant to startle me, he had done so. I found it rather ironic that while almost my whole body had gone rigid with shock, my manhood had developed into just the oposite direction. It lay in his hand limply, and when he started moving again, I pushed his fingers away.

“No,” I hissed. “I don’t want to go on.” It was hard to read any kind of emotion from his face in the darkness, yet it was clear that he took me seriously, for his erection subsided as well, though not as quickly as mine.

Pulling back my hand I turned to lie on my other side, facing away from him. I was a little afraid of what I could see in those amazing eyes. Surely he was angry because I had stopped without letting him find his release. But then, who was he to be angry at me? I was the one who had every right to be angry. After all, he had simply started touching me in that strange way without as much as asking me first. And then he had just tried to go on, as if nothing had happened.

Being angry at Erik had been difficult while running away from him, but now that he was lying right behind me, it was much worse. No matter how hard I tried to remain angry, I couldn’t help facing the fact that I didn’t want it to be that way. Though I didn’t necessarily feel like continuing what we had done before, I did want to lie in his arms.

Cold shivers ran down my spine. The warmth I had felt before had merely been an illusion, created by our heated bodies. It had been replaced by an icy cold. The fact that I wasn’t wearing anything didn’t exactly improve matters either. Only the thought of what Erik would say kept me from fetching my clothes. He’d probably assume I wanted to leave, which was far from true.

I had just arrived at that conclusion when I felt a strange pulling sensation under me and realised that Erik was tugging at the bedspread.

“If you want me to leave, you can say so,” I muttered. It had been supposed to sound cold, yet the only cold thing had been the chattering of my teeth.

“Yes, I want you to leave,” he stated, making me inhale sharply. “But only for a moment. Get up, and I’ll pull back the bedspread. You’re getting colder by the second, and I refuse to share the bed with a block of ice.”

There were many things I could have said, but my gladness about finally getting under a blanket had made any trace of sarcasm vanish from my mind. So I simply stood up and seized the time till he told me to come in again to light a lamp on the bedside table. Not being able to see the expression on his face was slightly unnerving, and I knew that we wouldn’t sleep anytime soon.

I hastened to crawl under the blanket and found myself in Erik’s arms. I couldn’t have possibly turned away from him now. Yet of course this only left me with one solution.

“Can we talk about what happened?” I asked cautiously.

He let out a low sigh.

“You always have to talk, don’t you?” he remarked grumpily. “And here I was, wondering how you could have survived being brought up by women only. The answer is simple: You became just like them.” If he thought that this attempt to provoke me would distract me, he was wrong. I knew his methods by now.

“I only want to understand what was going on,” I told him. “Why were you touching… that part of me?”

“I had to start preparing you sometime, and I thought I could as well do it then, while you were distracted. It’s supposed to be easier and less painful when the person is relaxed,” he explained, yet for all I understood, he could as well have spoken a foreign language. What had he tried to prepare me for? What would be easier? And no matter what he meant by ´less painful´, it obviously hadn’t worked. Or had he just not done it correctly? My head was so full of questions that I blurted out the one that would cover all of them.

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you trying to make fun of me?” he gave back, frowning. His eyes widened in shock as I shook my head, and realisation seemed to dawn on him. “You didn’t… you don’t… you have no idea… or do you?” he murmured. A moment later he had pulled himself together enough to utter a coherent sentence: “Just answer me one question, Raoul: Do you know how men sleep with each other?”.

His question came as such a big surprise that I didn’t even consider making up a reply.

“No,” I said truthfully. “I didn’t know they could sleep with each other at all… not the way a man and a woman do, I mean. I thought the things we were doing together, with our hands and our mouths, were enough…” My voice trailed off as I watched him, feeling very, very foolish. Why hadn’t that stupid book said anything about the topic? Erik was probably just trying to decide whether to yell or laugh at me. I didn’t know which one would be worse.

Yet he did neither.

“My sweet, innocent boy,” he whispered softly, letting his index finger wander over my face. “You really are just as innocent as you look. How could I have forgotten that?” If he had said such things in his usual cynical voice, they’d have come out as insults. But at the moment his voice was gentle, as much of a caress as his finger. No, he didn’t want to insult me. “A woman’s face with Nature’s own hand painted, Hast thou, the master-mistress of my passion… A man in hue all hues in his controlling, Which steals men’s eyes, and women’s souls amazeths,” he went on.

I threw him a questioning glance.

“William Shakespeare,” he explained. “From one of his finest sonnets. It addresses a young man, such as you, whose beauty is so great that he’s adored by men and women alike… just like you are.”

My cheeks grew rosy, and I suddenly found it very hard to look into his eyes. After I had been so cold to him minutes before, I had certainly not expected compliments now.

“Thank you,” I muttered, as his finger followed the line of my nose.

When it reached my lips, I parted them and sucked it into my mouth for a moment, winking at him. I wasn’t angry anymore. He shivered visibly as I let go of him again, and I enjoyed the power I had over him.

“Now tell me now two men make love,” I whispered. “Or do you think knowing it could take away my innocence?”

“Nothing could take away your innocence,” he replied, his finger leaving a slightly wet trail on my cheek. “Although I’ll most certainly try…”

Remembeing his finger inside me I felt a little uneasy. Involuntarily I held my breath when he began to explain.

“Actually it’s very similar to what a man and a woman do,” he told me. His voice sounded kind. Apparently he didn’t think my ignorance amusing and was really willing to help me. “Do you remember that place I touched before? My finger was the preparation for a much bigger item that will be put there one day… I hope.”

I stared at him incredulously. He couldn’t be serious about it.

“But… but it’s… too big,” I stammered. “It won’t fit… into me…” I thought of his manhood in my hand. It had fitted nicely, but it had been too big for my mouth. How on earth did he expect it to fit into that other orifice?

“It will fit once I’ve prepared you correctly,” he assured me. “I’ve read about it. One has to start slowly, with one finger, then two. Your body will get used to it. I’ve also read about a certain lubricant one can use to make things less painful, but I haven’t bought it yet. I shouldn’t have begun just like that, but it was so tempting.” By now, he almost sounded embarrassed, which was a completely new experience for me. I hadn’t even known he could become embarrassed. Somehow, it made me more willing to forgive him that he had hurt me.

“The next time you should better ask before you do such a thing,” I advised him. “I could have died from shock.”

“Yes, next time I’ll try to keep in mind what a delicate creature you are,” he promised with a smile that was close to a smirk. “But now that you know how it is done… could you imagine letting me do it one day?”

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “It does sound quite painful for me…”

“But once you’re used to it, it’ll also be pleasant for you,” he hastened to say. “There’s a spot inside the male body that’s very sensitive to the touch, you know. Besides, I’d also take care of your… other needs.” He looked down at my body pointedly. “So you’d have twice as much pleasure as usual,” he finished.

Apparently this was a night in which I learned a lot of new things about Erik. I had had no idea he could be this persuasive.

“Well, all right,” I agreed. “We will make love. But I have two conditions: The first one is that we won’t do it right now. I still need a little time to get used to the thought. Besides, I’d like to wait for the lubricant.”

He nodded.

“I’m in no hurry,” he claimed. “But it is a little difficult for me. You see, usually I’m the one with the conditions…”

“Today you’re the one who wants to put his… thing into me,” I argued. “So I can at least be the one with the conditions, can’t I? The second one is that you’ll tell me about your family now, by the way,” I added.

He gave a groan.

“Wouldn’t you rather like me to tell you a nice bedtime story?” he asked. “I know some that are for adults only.”

“Maybe later,” I decided. “But now I want to hear about your family.”

“Really?” he wanted to know.

“Yes,” I replied simply, noticing that being the one with the conditions was rather amusing.

Author’s note: The lines Erik quotes are from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 20.
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Emptiness