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No Easy Way	By : secretlysecretly Category: M through R > The Phantom of the Opera > Het Views: 7568 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: First of all we would like to thank all those readers who took the time to drop us a kind word. A special thank you to Blackrosephantom for all her thoughts, suggestions and corrections. We took everything under consideration and we would like to receive more feedback of this kind.

Second of all, regarding the lake scene, the inspiration was the mere thought of Gerik taking a bath...That was all it took! (Although we will try to find the movie BRP mentioned in her review)

And yes, Erik enjoyed controlling Christine, but he did so by letting his infatuation for her take control of the situation. Obviously, Christine made her choice and proved that she had an opinion and mind of her own and Erik accepted her decision. We would like to think he learnt his lesson...eventually...

Furthermore, take into account that herein you'll find a chapterstarringcrazy-Erik who's talking to himself, trying to figure out all that's happening to him. Think of him as something like the Gollum with extra points for being so hunky! Please don't forget to review and let us know whether we did good in giving Erik a split personality (we promise, it's just this once)

Enough with the rambling already! Read on :-)

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Chapter 15

Erik was confused. A few days had gone by since his visit to Marianne and he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about her. He had tried composing but every time he would sit at his organ her face kept popping up in his head. Her hazel eyes that seemed to change colors every time she would get angry at him. Her sensuous lips moving against his own when he kissed her. Her fingers as she stroked his hair with understanding just before they parted.

He mentally shook himself out of his reveries but something inside gnawed at him.

‘Why can’t I stop thinking about her? Is it mere lust for that which I know I’ll never have?’

‘She seemed quite interested in you when she kissed you back with such urgency by the lake.’

‘But she has not seen past what lies beneath the mask. If she were to witness this abhorrent face of mine, she is sure to run screaming never to cast a second glance my way ever again.’

‘She said that appearances don’t matter, did she not?’

‘She says that now. It is easy to be benevolent when one does not know what one is talking about. My own mother couldn’t bring herself to look upon my deformity, why should Marianne be expected to have the ability to endure it?’

‘Don’t show her what lies beneath the mask then. She seems to find the rest of you quite agreeable.’

‘I couldn’t possibly stop her even if I wanted to. Female curiosity is a power no man will ever be able to control no matter how hard he tries. Christine…’

‘Marianne is nothing like Christine. While the latter ripped off your mask the first chance she got, Marianne did nothing of the sort and you cannot deny that she has had plenty of opportunities.’

‘That she did, but sooner or later…’

‘Sooner or later, nothing! She said herself she will not press you until you’re ready to show her yourself.’

‘I could never show her! How could I bear to see the fear reflected in her eyes? She is the first person who has ever regarded me like an ordinary man. Even Giry took me under her wing out of pity.’

‘That wasn’t pity my boy. It was humanity.’

‘Nevertheless, Giry is not the point here!’

‘Giry isn’t, but your self pity is. Why must you wallow in misery when you have accomplished so much for yourself? You vowed that night at the Opera to change your life and look how far you have come. You own a beautiful house -above ground, you have servants who cater to your every whim -however frivolous, you have a beautiful neighbor who seems to be attracted to you -despite herself, you have even found the nerve to appear in public -making quite an impression for that matter. Why can’t you simply accept things as they come to you?’

‘Marianne and I have nothing in common. She is a Duchess and will eventually be wed to a man bearing a title. A man who will be good looking and wealthy; a man she will not fear.’

‘She is not afraid of you. She has not allowed you to intimidate her despite your callousness.’

‘That is because she’s an impertinent little rich girl who thinks the world is at her feet if she so desires.’

‘Why shouldn’t she think so? She’s beautiful, she’s well-educated, she’s smart, she’s a noble … need I carry on?’

‘Exactly my point. She will never settle for someone like me.’

‘She said herself she is looking for love.’

‘I love Christine.’

‘No, you don’t. You were simply infatuated with her.’

‘I loved her!’

‘You were obsessed with her.’

‘Is it not the same thing?’

‘Not necessarily. You cannot love someone who fears you.’

‘Fear and loathing. That is all I’ll ever be worth to people.’

‘Not all people.’

‘Don’t start again.’

‘Oh, but it is time. Giry did not fear you; she was your friend. Vincent does not fear you; he respects you. Raoul did not fear you; he fought for what was his. Marianne does not fear you; she regards you as an equal.’

‘She doesn’t know me.’

‘Yet she tries to get to know you.’

‘She cannot possibly accept me.’

‘What harm is there in trying?’

‘A few stolen kisses is all we shared.’

‘You didn’t steal those kisses. She kissed you back.’

‘She couldn’t resist my strength.’

‘She stole a kiss from you.’

‘She did not know what she was doing.’

‘Didn’t seem that way to me...’

‘It was merely lust.’

‘You have to start from somewhere.’

‘I do not dare hope for anything more. I could not bear putting my heart on the line only to have it crushed again’

‘Every man has the right to dream.’

‘Not me.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I know what the outcome will be! I dreamt of Christine and look how well that turned out. I was her angel of music. I was her mentor, her maestro, her soul companion through her darkest hour of need and what of it? The minute that insolent boy came into the picture, she forgot all about me and couldn’t get far away from me fast enough. The same is bound to happen with Marianne.’

‘That was your doing! You lied to her!’

‘I might have at first, but…’

‘You yelled at her!’

‘I did, but I couldn’t stop myself.’

‘You abducted her!’

‘But then I let her go!’

‘Then why hold it against her if she simply took the escape route you gave her?’

‘Because I know that she wanted me! Maybe she loved that fop, but her body yearned for me.’

‘What of it if she desired you? She loved Raoul!’

‘But she kissed me with such ardor!’

‘She loved him!’

‘Perhaps it is so…perhaps he just made her feel safe!’

‘From you!’

‘I could have made her stay! I could have kept her by my side if I wanted to…’

‘You didn’t…’

‘I could not. What good would it be if she would always dream of him?’

‘She came back…’

‘Only to give me the ring back.’

‘As a token!’

‘As a way to tell me that she wanted nothing to do with me.’

‘You drove her away!’

‘I didn’t. I simply granted her her freedom.’

‘Some Opera Ghost you are…’

‘The Phantom died that night.’

‘The Phantom never existed if you ask me…’

‘I killed.’

‘To protect yourself.’

‘I stole.’

‘To survive.’

‘I blackmailed.’

‘To make her a star.’

‘I lied.’

‘To gain her trust.’

‘How can I live with myself?’

‘You are not that man any more.’

‘What if the Phantom is just sleeping within me and one day he wakes from his slumber and strikes again?’

‘You said it yourself. The Phantom is dead.’
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No Easy Way