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Focused Madness	By : fusedtwilight Category: Twilight Series > General Views: 3772 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Focused Madness
Chapter 15

Fusedtwilight: Thanks to my betaanimegirlkiki for betaing and thanks to everyone who reviewed. Last chapter Fred returns after a month with the Cullen's. He learns both their ways and what happened to poor Bree. Meanwhile Matthew does his best to keep men away from Leah and now they all talk about what happened in the month and Matthew has a memory of his mother.

Remembrance: The state of bearing in mind, an act of recalling to mind, a memory of a person thing or event.
Example: Fred, Leah and Matthew all have remembrances of the past.

Leah P.O.V
“So let me get this straight. While I was gone Matthew ate your neighbor’s dog?” Fred asked.
We were all sitting in the living room and I was telling Fred what Matthew had done while he had been gone.
“Yeah. I come into the living room and see him wearing this collar and I ask him where he got it from and he said he found it on a dog he snacked on. Then there is a knock on the door and it is one of the ladies and she asks me if I have seen her dog and she hands me a flier with a picture of it and I see he is wearing the exact same collar that Matthew is wearing.”
I smiled recalling the incident.
“So she is all crying and saying how she hopes he is okay and her kids will be devastated if she can't find him, they have had him for years and I am all comforting on the outside but on the inside I am like 'Crap!' so I promise her I will keep an eye out and I come back in and look at the collar Matthew is wearing and it has the same address as what is on the flier and I am thinking 'My god he ate Killer.'”
“Killer?”
“That was the name of the dog, he was a rottweiler.”
“He came wondering around while Leah was inside the shower and me was hungry. No one told Matthew he is not allowed to have dog,” Matthew said shrugging his shoulders.
“So what happened? With the family I mean?”
“Well eventually they gave up and got their kids a new puppy. I swear I can't look any of them in the eye now. I always feel so bad you know, I mean how do you look your neighbor in the eye when your kid ate their dog.”
Fred gave me an odd look when I called Matthew my kid. It no longer bothered me to say it, I have been calling him my son for so long now and taken care of him, so well the line between lie and truth was slowly becoming blurred.
“Matthew kept the collar, it real nice,” Matthew said.
“So what was it like going yellow?” I asked Fred.
“It took a while, I had been drinking human blood for so long, and trying animal blood was like....being used to meat then going straight to a veggie diet. It makes the burning go away but it doesn't fully satisfy.”
“Me know, human blood is awesome,” Matthew said.
Matthew and Fred got these looks on their faces, like they were remembering a really good meal they had once. I decided quickly to change the subject.
“So how are the Cullens doing?” I asked.
Fred seemed to snap out of it, but Matthew was still off in la la land. “Oh they are doing great. Wonderful people, I still can't believe how humane they are. It's amazing; I thought all of our kind were savage. Not them.”
“Believe me they have their moments,” I said remembering the fight with the newborns.
“They helped me with my power as well. That Bella girl is something; my power didn't affect her at all. No matter how hard I focused on her she didn't even flinch. Want to see a cool trick?” he smirked and in an instant he was gone.
“What the hell?” I asked.
Suddenly he was back again, a huge smile plastered on his face. “Cool huh?”
“You just vanished, I didn't even feel repulsed,” I said.
“That's how it works, I can make the repulsion so subtitle that every sense you posses simply refuses to know I am there. I did not move, I was still there, you just refused to see me.”
“Me do that,” Matthew said snapping out of it. “Watching this.”
He closed his eyes and like Fred before him he vanished in thin air. I looked at Fred and he looked just as amazed as I was. I grabbed the area where he had been but I felt nothing but air.
“Fred, that power of yours doesn't stop you from being solid does it?” I asked.
“No. He just vanished, I can't detect him at all.”
“Shit!” I shot up and began to look around.
“Matthew? Matthew!” I called.
I was starting to panic. Where the fuck was he? I couldn't smell him, I couldn't see him, I couldn't hear him. Hell if Fred couldn't then I sure as hell couldn't.
I was about ready to tear the house apart when a pair of small but strong arms wrapped around my waist and Matthew shouted. “Boo!”
I jumped like five feet in the air and spun around. Matthew stood there smiling. “Surprised Leah,” he said.
I bent down and hugged him close to me. “Don't you ever, ever do that again Matthew, do you hear me, never again!” I said firmly.
“Me sorry Leah, me wanted to show you my new trick.”
Fred walked over and bent down to look at Matthew. “How did you do that Matthew?”
“Matthew is seeing Fred-Fred do it. Me radiate same amount of repulsion and it easy. Me become disappeared like Fred-Fred.”
“Can he copy every vampire power?” Fred asked.
“No, the vampires called him a psychic-lens. Eleazar from the coven in Denali has a gift for figuring out how vampire powers works says Matthew can manipulate mental energy. It's what lets him see, sense and manipulate emotions. But he can also use it to intensify vampire powers.”
“Yes, I remember Carlisle telling me about that,” Fred said.
We looked at one another as we spoke. I could not help but check him out while we were so close. I have seen many good looking vampires in my day, but Fred really took the cake. I stared at his eyes. It seemed like only yesterday they were red, now they are yellow.
He came to me in worn down clothes, wild dirty hair, and a raggedy appearance. Now here he was looking sharp in fresh brand new cloths looking fine as hell. He should be in college, at some fraternity taking some pledge and studying to be a someone. Not in some backwoods little hamlet stuck for eternity as a blood sucking vampire.
He should be meeting a nice girl, marrying her and having two point five kids, a nice house and a white picket fence and maybe a dog to top it off. But he would never have that. Sure he could find some human chick and turn her or some available vampire woman and create a few other vamp's to make a little coven/family.
“Yeah he said he could increase a vampires powers times twelve. When the Cullen's first started looking after him his power leaked out and started causing all their strongest personalities and powers to hay wire.” that was putting it lightly.
“Man, to think such a kid can be so powerful. Can he mess with Bella?”
“No, not unless she drops her shield and lets him,” I said.
“Is there anything you can't do Matt-Matt?” Fred asked.
Matthew's smile fell a little. “Me not remember.”
I frowned. Before I could inquire more about what he meant he grabbed my and Fred's arms and dragged us upstairs.
“Come Fred-Fred, we show you your room.”
“My room?” he asked.
“Yes well we kind of set you up a room for when you visit,” I said.
He got a surprised look on his face. “Wow, really?”
“It was Matthew's idea,” I said.
Matthew dragged us into Fred's room. I had bought some new drapes for the window, we kept the bed, I figured even a vampire needs to lie down once in a while. There was a T.V and a small desk for him to sit at. I also added a few pictures to put on the wall, simple photos of random things.
“What you think Fred-Fred?” Matthew asked.
Fred examined the room. I couldn't tell if he was impressed or not, Fred was good at hiding his emotions.
“If you want to add a few things that’s cool, I wasn't sure what you would want,” I said.
“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” he said.
I could not read him real well; I could tell he really did appreciate the room. Fred probably just didn't want to get all gushy about it. Some people just don't wear their emotions on their sleeves.
“Can we go hunting tonight?” Matthew asked excitedly.
“Sounds like fun to me,” Fred said.
“Sure, we have to wait for dark though,” I said.
“Hey Matt-Matt, why don't you go find us something to watch on the T.V, we'll be right down,” Fred said.
“Okay.”
Matthew walked out and left me and Fred alone. I thought he was going to tell me this was all too much. “Thanks Leah, I really appreciate this,” he said.
“I was worried you were going to be freaked out or something,” I said.
He shook his head. “No, this is great. Makes me feel like I belong. Listen, I had another reason for getting rid of Matthew.” he reached into his coat and took out a stack of envelops. I knew from the smell that was almost hidden by his scent it was letters from the others in La Push.
“Before I left your friend Jake gave me these to give to you. I figured you might want to read them in private or something.”
My hands shook slightly when I took the letters. Names were on the letters. Seth, mom, Jake, Embry, Quil, Billy, Charlie, Emily.....Sam.....
I gripped the letters and smiled at him. “Thanks. Let’s go see what Matthew found.” I turned and headed for the living room downstairs. If Fred noticed what those fucking letters did to me he wisely kept his silence.
Being around Fred was easy enough, he was the strong silent type, and lord knows I need plenty of those in my life. The boys in the pack were all loud, obnoxious, rude, and could be downright pricks at times. But Fred despite looking like he should be a typical loud, obnoxious man was very quiet and reserved. He reminded me of Jasper or Edward. Only less of an emo.
He keeps it up I think I will definitely enjoy having him for a friend.

We watched a few movies and talked with Fred more about his experience with the Cullens.
I learned there was a bit of an incident with him and the wolves. See Sam found out Fred knew where I was and came over to the Cullens demanding to know where I was. When Fred refused to talk Sam continued to press the issue and tried backing him into a corner until Fred used his power to send him running.
On one hand I was glad he was feeling better to be a dick, on the other I was annoyed he was still doing this. Something told me reading his letter wasn't going to improve me attitude towards him either.
The letters were in the kitchen in one of the drawers. I don't know why everyone wrote letters, I still call home every once in a while and talk to them.
We had gone hunting when night hit. I merely watched as Matthew and Fred hunted some deer. Things got really creepy when Matthew went running up a tree and came down carrying two chipmunks in this hands. “Look Leah, num, nums.” before I could stop him he bit the head of the one chipmunk and squeezed the blood into his mouth.
Before he could finish off the other I made him drop it and let it go. It ran away as fast as it's little legs could carry it.
“Come back here!” Matthew said going to chase after it.
“Matthew let it go,” I said.
“But Leah.”
“No buts, if you are going to eat something it is going to be something bigger to fill you up,” I said firmly.
“Okay,” he pouted.
After that we played hide and seek. Between Fred and Matthew it was an interesting game. Fred would use his power to hide but Matthew always found him.
After a few hours of playing in the woods we returned home and I got Matthew ready for bed. He took a bath and I and Fred were tucking him in.
“Good night Matthew,” I said.
I kissed him on the head and he smiled at me warmly. “Night Leah, night Fred-Fred,” he said.
“Good night Matt-Matt,” Fred said.
“Fred-Fred will you stay with us?” Matthew asked.
Fred got an uncertain look on his face. “I don't know Matthew,” he said.
“Please, me and Leah really like having you here, it's being lots of fun. We could use a friend.”
“We'll talk about it later Matthew.” I kissed him on the head again.
“Leah....if me have nightmares again....”
“Then call me and I will come,” I said.
He nodded and closed his eyes. We left his room and I closed the door, but left it open just a crack so some light could filter through. Fred and I walked downstairs in silence.
We sat down in the living room and there was an awkward silence. “So can I get you anything?” I asked.
“No, I am fine.....so why is Matthew like the way he is? Is it a birth defect?”
“No. See, did the Cullens tell you about the incident with the Volturi?”
“A little.”
“Well while they were getting ready Alice and Jasper found Nahuel who is another hybrid. He told the Volturi all about hybrids and his father Joham. Joham found out about hybrids and was trying to make his own little super-race. They left but made it clear they would be visiting Joham. Months later we found Matthew. From what we have pieced together Joham created a whole family of hybrids, the Volturi came for them and during the commotion Jane found Matthew and his sister Rosemary. She used her power on Matthew and he lashed out with his power causing both Jane's and Rosemary's power increase and that is what made him what he is today.”
“What was Rosemary's power?”
“I guess she could manipulate memories. She was going to go into hiding with Matthew as Joham planed in case the Volturi ever came after them. She was in the middle of wiping Matthew's mind when Jane showed up. That's why all he can remember is pain, Rosemary wiped his memories and Jane filled it with pain. I have never been on the receiving end of her power but from what I understand it is like having a fire burning in your body. I can't imagine what it would be like increased by twelve.”
“Rosemary must not have totally erased his mind. I mean if he can still remember bits and pieces.”
“That's what worries me sometimes.”
“What do you mean?”
“See Joham was training his kids to believe they were gods, that humans were only good for a snack. What happens when Matthew starts remembering his time with his daddy?”
Fred said nothing at first; he had a thoughtful look on his face. “You are afraid he will remember what his father taught him and he will become more like a wild vampire?”
“Yes. You haven't seen what he is capable of Fred. See him and I left because he attacked my cousin Emily who is Sam's imprint. You know Sam?”
“Yes, he was very insistent I tell him where you are. He seemed really worried.”
“Well Emily is his imprint.”
“Like Jake and Nessie?” he asked.
“Yeah. Well we were all having a friendly game of wolf versus vampire when Matthew caught her scent and we found out she was his siren.”
“Her blood called to him,” he said his eyes growing wide.
“Carlisle taught you well I see. Yeah, her blood called to him. He attacked her, she got away but Sam became hellbent on Matthew's death. I fought him to protect Matthew and I wound up hurting him real bad. I decided I needed to run with Matthew. If the Cullens kept him then they would have to leave and I didn't want Jake to be separated from Ness.”
“You could have given him to the other coven. The Denali coven,” he said.
He had me there.
“If I may say Leah, I think you did it because you love him.”
“Excuse me?” I said.
“I mean, I think that you grew to love Matthew you could not bear to see him hurt. You are a lot more affectionate with him now then what I saw two months ago.” he looked at the scar on my arm, the one where Matthew bit me. “You have no reason what so ever to care but you still do. Why?”
I shrugged. “I don't know. I was more than ready to kill him when I first met him. He was chasing my brother Seth around trying to eat him. Thought he was a simple plain wolf and was going to suck him dry.”
Fred laughed. “sorry I got this image of this great big wolf running around in circles with Matthew chasing after him snapping his teeth.”
We laughed at that image.
“He just latched on to me, more than any of the Cullens, I don't know why.”
“Maybe it is because he saw you naked.”
I glared at him.
“Emmett told me, sorry. Did he really ask you why you didn't have a penis?” Fred asked unable to hold back a smile.
I rolled my eyes, wishing Emmett was here to slap him. “Yes, he seemed to think I should see a doctor to treat a medical condition.”
Fred laughed harder. He had a real warm laugh. His face seemed even more beautiful lit up with humor.
I hated feeling like this around him. It was like I was hyper aware of everything about him now. It was like what I felt with Nahuel, only less about lust. I did not want to feel like this around him, he was a stranger and he was a vampire. At least Nahuel had been a little human. A little human, but all man, I still think about him from time to time. Still think of that wonderful one night we spent together.
“You shouldn't worry about him regaining his memories Leah. I think there is a reason he chose you, or you chose him. I think you were meant to care for him.”
“If you start saying it is because of destiny I swear to Christ I will rip your legs off,” I threatened.
“Well think about it. What are the odds that a she-wolf would form a parental relationship with a hybrid that has a mental instability and was going to be raised by his tyrant father who was killed by a coven sent to kill him? What are the odds Leah. As long as you fill his head with happy memories I think even if he remembers his past it won't matter because he will be filled with your love.”
My heart felt fluttery right then. “Thanks for the words of confidence,” I said.
“I am serious Leah. He loves you, fill him with your love and make him a better person than what his father wanted.”
“Ironic I can't have my own kids and now here I am looking after some asshole's kid.” I shut my eyes and cursed myself for my stupidity.
“What do you mean?” Fred asked looking concerned.
“Shit, I didn't mean to say that. See ever since I became a wolf....I haven't had my menstrual cycle. I can't have kids. Yet another reason for me to hate being a wolf.”
“The other being your dad and Sam right?” Fred asked.
“Who the fuck told you that!” I snarled.
“Umm, well your brother told me about your dad. He's a good kid and he told me why Sam was so eager to find you, because he still loved you.”
Anger began to course through my body. I can't believe that little shit went and told a fucking vampire our history! My history!
“Leah I am sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I was just curious,” Fred said.
He must be feeling nervous because I found myself unable to look at him. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes and began to count back from ten. I practiced my yoga breathing and tried to keep calm.
“It's not you, Seth should know better than to be blabbing to people about our personal shit, my personal shit!”
I continued to use my breathing exorcises and it worked. I opened my eyes and looked at Fred, but quickly looked away. “Sorry, us wolves have some real anger issues,” I said.
“So I noticed. I swear that Sam guy was going to try and attack me.”
“Sorry, he can be a real dick when he sets his mind on something,” I said.
“Not your fault. Besides I made him go away without even touching him.”
I smiled. “I would have loved to see him run away, I know you must have hurt his pride,” I said.
He shrugged.
“So Fred, I was thinking about what Matthew said. About you living here....I was wondering if you would like to move in.”
The look on his face was priceless. “What?”
“Look, I have a ton of money right now, but it won't last forever. The day will come when I need to get a job to support him and me. But I can't leave him alone Fred, you see what he is like. I can't hire someone to babysit. He could flip out and bite them and that would be a disaster. So I was thinking, you are still new to this lifestyle, being around people might help you adapt to it more. If you had someone to help you out and look after you and in return you could look after Matthew for me.”
“You want me to be a babysitter?” he asked.
“Look I wish I could say that I am just doing this to help you out, but the truth is I can't do this alone Fred. If he was just a regular hybrid sure I could handle him, but I can't, you have only seen a fraction of what he can do, when he attacked Emily he made us all paralyzed with fear. If Bella hadn't been there we would have been helpless to watch him kill her. Matthew likes you, and if he gets out of hand you can use your power on him to keep him in line, I can also trust you to protect him in case a vampire finds him.”
“Or if Sam and his pack.”
“Exactly. Plus it has been nice talking to you Fred. I try and keep to myself here you know, it gets kind of lonely. I have Matthew but sometimes it's nice to talk to an adult. Think of it as an arrangement, you help look after my house and Matthew and we will help you follow your diet and give you a place to stay. Unless you want to live in the wild.”
Fred got a thoughtful look on his face. “Well, I could use the companionship. I also do owe you for helping me. Plus the little guy does need some male influence in his life.”
My brow twitched. “Male influence? What you think a woman can't raise a kid by herself without a man around the house?” I asked feeling irritated now.
“What? No, no, I just think it is better for a woman to have help raising a son is all. Just like I think a man needs help raising a daughter.”
Son of a bitch. I stood up and glared at him; I put my hands on my hips and did the best impersonation of mom when she was mad at dad. “Listen here buddy the only reason I ask is because he is a hybrid with a freaking powerful gift, now had he been a normal kid I wouldn't be asking you this question so don't be thinking I couldn't raise him. And another thing, telling a woman she can't raise a boy because she isn't a boy herself is pretty fucked up; there are plenty of women who didn't need a man to raise their son. So far I have done a fucking amazing job considering the circumstances, and don't you think it is a little sexist to be saying a man can only raise his son and a woman can raise her daughter? I will have you know my dad took me fishing and hunting plenty of times and I gutted my share of animals.”
I suddenly found myself unable to look at him.
“And stop doing that! For god's sake can't you have an argument without hiding behind your power?”
“I don't like fighting,” was all I heard him say.
“Look are you in or are you out?” I asked.
“I'll think about it.”
The spot where he had been was gone. I knew he was no longer here because I could look in the empty space where he had been and I heard the sound of the door quickly opening and closing.
“Great, way to go Leah scare off the only friend you had,” I said to myself.
I got up and went into the kitchen. I reached into the drawer and pulled out the letters he brought me. Now that I am alone I might as well read them.

Matthew's dream
Does the world grow smaller? Or do I grow bigger?
Everyday I ask myself this question. Once it seemed so vast, now I can feel it all around me, so tight all I have to do is reach out and touch it.
I have to be careful though. If I push too hard my world hurts, I feel it's pain in colors of blacks and whites. I love my world and I try not to move, but day after day it gets harder and harder.
My world is a alive, I know it. I hear a constant beating sound. I fall asleep to that sound. It is so wonderful and beautiful.
I hear things outside my world. I know that there is something beyond the warmth and the dark. Another world maybe. Sometimes I think if I push hard enough I can see this other world but I do not want to hurt my world.
My world loves me a lot to. Even when I cause it pain it loves me. There are times I sense something on the other side touching my world, making these motions and I hear my world make a soothing sound.
My world talks, I can hear it. My universe speaks with a beautiful voice. I can hear other voices to sometimes. Some are like my world, but there is one whose voice is deeper. The world likes him a lot, I can sense it. When the world is near him it lights up with soft pink colors.
The world calls him Joham.
The other voices all taste similar to one another and this Joham. Like they were related somehow or in some way I could not understand.
I sense his fondness for my world. His color not soft pink like worlds, he does not love world like world loves him. He feels some affection for her though.
I sense others to, the other girly voices. They have no affection for my world, they all feel indifference for my world. They have much love for this Joham though. They call him father and he loves them a bit more then the world.
As I grow bigger my world grows worried. I hear her talking to Joham about taking me out soon. I do not know if I want to go. The world may be dark but it is so warm. A bit tighter then it was a while ago.
I would rather stay but if I am hurting the world I will leave. Who knows the world outside the world might be fun.
I hear voices talking now. It is feeding time and I am happy.
“Here you go Adora,” a voice I recognized as one called Serephina said.
“Thank you Serephina,” my world said.
I felt the world move and soon I felt my body grow strong through the link I had to the word. That part of my that grew into it, or it into me.
The world had a strange mix of pleasure and disgust of drinking this blood stuff. I don't know why, I enjoyed it.
“Thank you Serephina. Will Joham be here soon?” my world asked. My world was called Adora, but she will always be my world. I like the word Adora though, it sounds pretty.
I hear Serephina sigh in annoyance. She is annoyed by the world, I do not like Serephina. She is not colorful as some of the others or my world. I do not like her. There was something about her, something so hot it was cold.
“Father will be here soon.”
“Good, I am so nervous. I hope everything will be fine, I can't wait to be a mommy” the world says.
“Everything will be fine.”
“Okay,” the world says, sounding uncertain. The world knew Serephina was not being honest, the world had a feeling Serephina did not care.
The world could see things, I know this. The world was very good at telling what the others were feeling. I wonder why she could not tell this Joham did not feel as attached to her as she was to him?
I knew Serephina was lying, lying and she was completely apathetic about it. Something bad could happen to the world and Serephina could care less. I do not like her, I want her to go away.
Me focus on Serephina and the lights that come from her and me imagine her going away.
“Serephina, whats wrong?” the world asks confused.
“I can't...I have to go.”
I felt Serephina leave. “Why did she leave?” another female voice asked.
“What happened?”
Some of the other voices asked. They were confused why Serephina left, not knowing I made her leave.
I felt Joham appear. When I was smaller I could only sense the world and it's lights, then as time went on and the others touched what separated me and them I could sense their lights. Then I could sense them from a distance like I could now. I have to wonder how my sight will improve when I leave the world.
I like Joham, he likes me a lot. He is always touching the world a lot and I feel his love and affection for me. He talks to me sometimes, whispering things I do not understand, like how he has so many plans for me, how I will make him so proud, how I will be so beautiful.
I cannot help but love him back, he may not love the world like he loves me, but he still loves me and I like love. Love is a pretty fun thing to feel.
“What happened? Why did Serephina run?” Joham asks.
“It was the baby Joham,” the world says.
“How do you know Adora?” Joham asks.
I feel the world touch the wall that separates me from the outside. Love and affection radiated from her, lighting up the dark with pink.
“I know, I can't explain it but whenever I get sad or worried....I feel him in me, I feel him reaching out and making the doubts and fears go away. I feel like he can feel the world already, like he can already sense all of you. Sometimes I feel something flow out of me and into other people. It happened just know with Serephina, I think he made her go away.”
I could feel Joham grow excited as she talked, hope and eagerness increased in him as well as pride.
I feel him come close and touch the wall. I feel how could he is, unlike the others who are warm he is cold. He whispers again. “That's my boy.”
I try and touch the wall gently, try and get an idea what he feels like. I touch the walls and feel him pressed against it. I feel his joy as he feels me touch him.
“He likes you Joham, I know it,” the world says.
Joham pulls back as do I. “How do you know it's a boy?” he asks.
“Just this feeling. I hope it is a boy, I know how much you want a son.”
“Whether you give me a son or daughter I am more than happy to add another to my family, as are all his sisters.”
Sisters? What is a sister? Is that what the others are to me? Sisters?
They were excited, I could sense it. Were they excited to meet me?
“Tell me again Joham, how will this work?” the world asks.
“I told you love, first we will sedate you. Then I will preform a c-section on you and remove the child. Once it-”
“He,” the world corrects with a light chastising tone.
Joham chuckles, a streak of amusement runs over him. “Once he is removed I will sew you back up.”
“Can't you turn me then? I can't wait to be like you,” the world says.
“No love, you will be too weak from the operation. We must give your body time to recover so it can be strong enough to survive the transformation.”
Joham was lying. But about what? I don't understand these things. What is transformation? What is C-section? I hear these words so much but I have no idea what they are meaning. Why would he lie about this transformation?
“Oh Joham, you have always taken care of me, even when I was a child you always looked after me. Remember when I got lost in the city and you led me home? My parents never believed me about you, they thought I had an imaginary friend.”
“You have come a far way since then, you have become a truly beautiful woman Adora, I cannot begin to tell you how much I love you for this.”
The world feels more soft pink for Joham now. “I love you Joham, soon Matthew will be born and then we can all be together as a family.”
Matthew? What is a Matthew?
“Matthew?” Joham asks.
“Our son's name. It means gift of Yahweh. It was also the name of the raven that helped guide Daniel,” the world says.
“Gift of Yahweh? Are you calling me god?” Joham chuckles.
“Oh you and your ego,” the world chides slightly. “No, you are my angel. God sent me you and our son, he has blessed me so well, soon we will be a family forever. You, me, Matthew and all his sisters. Poor boy, growing up surrounded by girls.”
I felt one of the colors draw close. “Do not worry Adora, we will do our best not to spoil him.”
“Or dress him up,” said another.
“Or style his hair,” said another.
“Or give him to many hugs and kisses,” said another.
Love and affection was so strong right now. Soft pink filled my world, both inside and out. I could not help what I did next, there was so much love and I had to embrace it. I moved my arms and legs and stretched them out, I wanted to embrace the soft pink, I wanted to pull it all in and keep it for my world so even when I was gone the love would remain with her.
But I stretched too much.
Soon the love was covered in a shower of blacks and whites. I heard something go SNAP and the world was filled with love and pain.
“Aghhhh...Jo-Johaaaam,” the world said.
Joham was filled with worry then. I felt him touch the world. “What is it? Whats wrong?”
“The baby...I think he felt all the love....oh God my ribs.”
“We need to do this now.”
I felt the world move, it caused her some pain but she stopped. She was in the position she was in when she sleeps. I could feel everyone moving around the world.
“Joham...we will be together forever, right?” the world asked.
“Of course love.” Joham...he is lying....why is he lying? Why won't him and the world be together forever?
I felt the world begin to become tired. “Joham...Matthew....our...sweet boy....together.....forever.”
The world fell asleep.
“Is she under Hypnia?” Joham asked.
“Yes father,” the voice of Hypnia said..
“Good, lets continue then.” a tinge of regret ran through Joham. I felt him close to my world. I felt him touching her above me. “Thank you Adora, you have no idea what you have given me, my only regret is you will not be able to live to see what he will do for the world. Goodbye.”
Goodbye? What is going on? Why is he feeling regret? Why is he talking like he will never see the world again? What is going on? I do not want to go.
“Father, maybe we should keep her alive, if he is as powerful as you think-”
“No Rosemary, she is unnecessary. A means to an end, nothing more, nothing less. I did not need any of the others to raise you and your sisters and I won't need her. Besides, as long as I have you it will be easy to control him. I can simply take away what I don't like and fill it with what pleases me. Now, let’s continue. I am sure we are all anxious to meet our newest addition.”
A streak of excitement ran through them all. They were so eager to meet me, but I did not care. I was not going anywhere, they could not make me leave.
“One thing I am thankful for is modern technology. Once was a time I would just leave them to fend for themselves until look them up a few years later. But with modern medicine I can make the process less painful for both. Remember, enjoying another’s pain is a primitive and crude emotion. For the sacrifice the mortal women make it is only right we offer them a quick and painless end. They may be our inferiors, but their sacrifice makes it all possible.”
What are these words? What are their meanings? I am scared, I do not want to leave, if I leave something bad will happen, I can sense it. I have to stay; I have to protect my word. I felt Joham press something small and cold against the wall. Then light appeared. Not like the light I normally see, this is pure white, more harsh.
I could faintly see odd shapes that could only be Joham and my sisters. I saw Joham reach inside and grab my blanket and rip it. When he ripped it I could see him and the others better. Pride and love radiated from him, but I did not care, he was trying to steal me from my world.
He grabbed the link that connected me to the word and ripped it. Severing my tie to the world. I was scared now, if I left now what would happen to the world?
“Hello Matthew, welcome to the world,” Joham said.
No, this is my world, my world is not his world! Someone, help me! World, Adora....mommy?

Matthew P.O.V
Me wake up screaming now.
“Mommy!” me scream.
The door flew open and Leah comes running in, worry and confusion radiating off her. “Matthew?” she asked confused.
“My world is gone, my world is gone!” Me is screaming scream.
Me grabbed my side table and hurled it at the wall. Me grabbed my pillow and easily tear it to shreds. Me snarl and Me growl, Me am very angry now. My world is gone, my mommy is gone. Why didn't daddy protect her? Why didn't daddy save her like he said he would?
Me continued to demolish the room. Rage flowed through me and the world began to grow hazy.
“Matthew stop!” Leah ordered.
She take a step towards me but me snarl at her and she stops. Me punch holes through wall, me break pictures on wall. But then wave of revulsion hits Matthew.
“Fred!” me hear Leah shout.
Me fall to floor, to repulsed to move. Me see Fred-Fred standing next to Leah, both of them full of shock and some fear. “I heard the ruckus and came to see what happened,” Fred-Fred said.
“I don't know, he woke up screaming about his....of shit he remembered his mom,” Leah said.
Me curl in ball and begin to cry. Body shake and heart feel like it is being crushed. “Mommy,” I whimpered.
“Oh Matthew.” Leah walks forward and picks me up. I cling to her and continue to cry. Tears run down face and body shakes with sobs. Leah rocks me back and forth making a shushing sound.
“Mommy's dead, mommy's dead,” I whimper.
“I know baby, I know. Did you have a bad dream?” she asked.
“Me...remember....me remember when me is born...daddy said he would take me out and save mommy. Why didn't he save her? Why didn't he save her like he promised he would, she trusted him?”
“Oh Matthew,” Leah said.
Sorrow and regret litter her now. Fred-Fred step forward and kneel down to hug me too. Revulsion go away long ago but Matthew not move. “It's okay bud, we have you.”
Matthew sniffle and hug Leah tighter. It was odd being hugged by warm Leah and cold Fred-Fred. Me feel safe though, me feel loved. That enough to make sorrow go away, for now.

Leah P.O.V
We continued to hold Matthew even as he slept. I sang him his Quileute lullabies and he soon fell asleep.
“What happened?” Fred asked.
“I was in my room getting ready to read the letters when I heard him screaming. I came in and he was thrashing around and started wrecking the place,” I said.
“I have never seen him like that,” Fred said looking worried.
“This is nothing, you should have seen him when he tried to kill Emily,” I said.
Fred got a thoughtful look on his face. “I didn't truly understand your predicament until now. I am sorry for my earlier comment. I didn't mean to offend,” he said.
“Think nothing of it. I went overboard on you, sorry, I do that a lot,” I said giving him an apologetic smile.
“I have been thinking and after seeing this....if I am still welcome I would love to live with you and Matthew.”
“Really?”
“Leah I was always a loner. Even as a human, I was always very private person. It helped keep me alive as a vampire, but after Bree and the others, when I was all alone, then when I met you and Matthew and lived with the Cullens, I realized how lonely I was. I think if I want to sick to this lifestyle than I need to stay in touch with people. If I stay secluded then how will I get back in touch with my own humanity when I can't even let myself be around people.”
I smiled at him. “You’re more than welcome. I should warn you I have a tendency of being a pain in the ass.”
He smirked. “I noticed.”
“Watch it,” I warned.
Matthew snuggled closer to me. “Leah...mommy,” he mumbled.
I looked at him a little surprised he said those words in the same sentence.
I got up and carried him to my room and laid him down on my bed. “Well, I will go clean the mess,” Fred said.
“You don't have to,” I said.
“Hey, I live here as well, I got to pull my weight, besides, it would be best if you didn't leave his side,” Fred said.
“Thanks,” I said.
“Goodnight Leah, I will see you in the morning.”
He closed the door and I heard him walk away. I laid down next to Matthew and gently petted his hair. Matthew scooted closer to me. “Mommy,” he whispered.
I kissed his cheek. “I am here,” I whispered.

Fusedtwilight: Awww, poor Matthew. Next chapter the peace starts to break, and the new coven/pack face grave danger. Please review.
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