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Destiny Awaits	By : Lollydolly Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Jasper Views: 19535 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
An: Thanks for all the reviews, I love you all. Thanks again to my wonderful beta ladyofkeegan for making this readable.
Chapter Sixteen
I sat at the table between Charlie and Jasper and stared down at my bowl. It was full of birth control pills. Jasper was sipping blood through a straw from a tall glass and Charlie was polishing his gun.
“Eat up Bells. We don’t want any accidents do we?” Charlie laughed.
I spooned a few of the little blue pills into my mouth and crunched. They tasted like chocolate.
Jasper drained the last of the blood, and the straw made a horrible gurgling noise as it sucked up the last drops. “Thanks dad.” He said, smiling at Charlie.
“You’re welcome son. If only we could get Bella to behave.” He mumbled, glaring at me. I spooned up some more of the pills, hoping to please him, but he looked disappointed.
“She doesn’t know what she wants.” Jasper said conversationally. “If she did, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“What mess?” I asked around another mouthful of my ‘dinner’.
They ignored me and started talking about quadratic equations. I took a drink of my orange juice, but it tasted strange, and I realised it was blood.
“Now look what she’s done.” Jasper laughed, taking the glass and pouring the thick red liquid into my bowl.
“Tick-tock Bella, times almost up.” Charlie said.
“What time? I don’t understand.” I garbled and something poked me in the back. I wriggled away from it but it poked me again harder this time.
“Rise and shine!” Charlie crowed, and I opened my eyes and squinted up at him. Weird dream.
Someone yawned beside me and I rolled onto my side to see who it was. Jasper. Oh no.
He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck. “Mornin’ Chief Swan.” Even I believed he’d just woken up.
Charlie stared at him for a minute then smiled. “I’m going fishing. Be good kids.” He said cheerfully, and left. That had gone a lot better than I expected. I half wished he’d gotten mad and thrown Jasper out, that way I wouldn’t have to face him.
He’d said I’d laugh about kissing him today, but I couldn’t have been further from laughing if I’d tried. I was mortified. The best, and somehow worst of it was, he believed it had been an act of drunkenness. I turned it around and around in my head. Had he not kissed me back because he’d thought I didn’t mean it, or was he just not interested? Or was it worse than that, had he been repulsed?
He didn’t sound bothered last night, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t. I should say something. I could apologise, or I could make a joke about it. Or I could do what I already knew was the only option, and pretend it had never happened.
“Good morning.” Jasper said startling me; I’d half forgotten he was still here. “Would you like some breakfast?”
Apparently, Jasper was going with the denial plan too. That worked for me. “I’ll grab something later.” I said as perkily as I could.
“I’ll wait downstairs while you get dressed then.” He smiled and disappeared around the door.
The real problem was that I very much wanted to kiss him again. At least he’d gone for a while so I could asses that, without worrying about him reading something from my expression or my emotions.
I took my time getting dressed, replaying the kiss over and over, in the hopes that I’d be able to decipher how he felt about it from his reaction. Only he hadn’t had one, he’d been perfectly still beneath me, not even a flicker of an expression had crossed his beautiful face. Maybe I’d shocked him. I’d shocked myself. I didn’t think I was capable of acting that impulsively.
I wanted to blame the whole thing on alcohol, but I knew that I’d wanted to kiss him long before the first glass of punch had passed my lips.
And I was still technically with Edward. I’d cheated on him. Did one kiss count as cheating? I thought it did, especially if I took my feelings about it into account. I wasn’t the sort of girl that cheated on her boyfriend. At least I hadn’t been.
I knew I had two huge problems. The first was that I was now completely sure that I wasn’t in love with Edward anymore, and I had to find a way to tell him that. The second was that I was falling in love with Jasper, and I had to find a way to keep that a secret.
Stupid shield. What was the point of it if it didn’t work on Jasper? Why couldn’t it stop him from feeling my emotions the way it stopped Edward and Kate and Eleazer?
I settled myself into what from now on would be referred to as ‘friend mode’ and went downstairs. Jasper was making me breakfast despite the fact that I’d told him not to bother. I was suddenly annoyed at him. Why did he have to be so perfect? Last night he’d looked far too good, and now here he was, not making a big deal about my little slip, and cooking me breakfast. If I didn’t know any better I’d think he was seducing me on purpose.
“Edward called.” He said pleasantly as I threw myself into a chair. “He’ll be here in half an hour.”
“Great.” I muttered. Just what I needed, another complication.
I felt awful for thinking that. He’d tried so hard yesterday, and he’d even left me alone with Jasper, of all people. I realised his jealousy on that count wasn’t nearly as baseless as I’d made out. It wasn’t fair to him to keep him hanging, thinking things would be ok when I already knew I was going to break up with him.
How the hell was I supposed to tell him that I didn’t want to be with him, without hurting him? In a perfect world, he’d feel exactly the same as I did, but I knew that wasn’t the case. You couldn’t fake the kind of love that was all over his face every time he looked at me.
What would happen after I told him? I’d have to stay away from the house, that was only fair, and he probably wouldn’t talk to me at school anymore. Would the other Cullen's think badly of me? Of course they would. Especially Esme, she had been so pleased that Edward had finally found a mate. What if they never wanted to see me again?
“Hey, hey, calm down. What’s the matter?” Jasper said crouching in front of me.
“I have to tell Edward.” I whimpered. “And everyone will hate me.”
“Ok Bella, first, you don’t have to tell Edward, it was only a drunken kiss. And if you do tell him, he’ll forgive you, and no one will hate you. We love you.”
I stared blankly at him. He thought all this was about the kiss? Laughter bubbled up from nowhere and Jasper looked at me like I’d lost my mind. I calmed down quickly.
“That's not what I have to tell him.” I shook my head. Was it fair to tell Jasper what I was planning to do before I told Edward? Probably not, but I wanted some advice. “I’m going to break up with him.”
“You are?” He said incredulously, and I nodded. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. I don’t love him anymore.” I whispered the words as if that would make them less real.
“You’re really going to leave him?” He said. “Huh. I didn’t see that coming.”
“Neither did I, I thought we were forever. I guess we just aren’t meant to be.” I sighed, saying it out loud made it feel uncomfortably real, but I knew it would feel much worse when I said it to Edward. “How do you think he’ll take it?”
Jasper smiled sardonically. “Badly.”
“That's what I thought. How can I make it easier for him?”
“Tell him the truth. I think I’d have coped better with Alice leaving if she’d been honest with me, and given me the chance to say goodbye.” He smiled sadly.
“Oh god I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you.” Was I as bad as Alice?
“I’ve told you Bella, I’m fine.” He smiled again, a little wider this time. “He might fight for you; you should be prepared for that. He loves you very much.”
I hadn’t thought about that. I was almost certain I wouldn’t be able to turn him away if he asked me not to. What would I do if he begged me to love him the way Jasper had begged Alice that night on the phone?
Edward had told me once that he loved me enough to leave me, and I wondered if that also meant he loved me enough to let me go. “What can I say?” I asked desperately.
“I don’t know Bella, you’ll think of something. Whatever you say, you’ll hurt him, that's unavoidable.”
“Wow, you’re a lot of help.” I snapped.
“Sorry, I don’t have much experience of breaking hearts. I’ve only ever found myself on the other side, and it’s not a pleasant event.” He said tightly.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” I said weakly. “I don’t want to do what she did.”
“This is nothing like what Alice did Bella. You’ve given him a chance, you told him what was wrong in your relationship and that's all you could do. You’re not just springing this on him out of nowhere.” He left my side and went back to the stove. Something smelled delicious. “And you’re not leaving him; you’ll be his friend if that's what he wants, right?”
“Of course, but that’s not what he’ll want is it? Think of how he acted after I asked him for some space. He called me Isabella! I’ll be surprised if he can even bare to look at me. And Esme’s going to hate me, she’ll be so angry.”
“Don’t be stupid, you know she won’t hate you. Your happiness is important to her too. She’ll be sad that things didn’t work out between you and Edward, but it won’t make her love you any less.”
I watched him tip an omelette onto a plate and wondered when he’d learnt to cook. If it weren’t for the conversation we were having this would be the perfect morning. It was so... domestic. It felt so utterly natural to sit here chatting while he whipped up breakfast, looking like he belonged here in my kitchen.
I thought about what he was saying, and wished I could believe it. I was fairly sure Esme did love me, but she loved me because I made her son happy, and she’d wanted him to be happy for such a long time. Carlisle had asked me if I’d still want to be a part of the family if I wasn’t with Edward, and he’d told me they would still want me. But that had all been hypothetical.
“What about Rosalie? She’s only just started speaking to me, and I was hoping we’d be friends, but she’s going to start ignoring me again now isn’t she?” I was getting more and more depressed the more I thought about it. Maybe I should just stay with Edward; it wasn’t worth losing everyone else.
“Half the reason Rosalie didn’t like you was because she thought you were weak.” Jasper laughed. What? She thought I was weak? “She hated the way you let Edward push you around and decide everything for you, she’s probably only speaking to you now because you’ve started standing up for yourself.”
“Edward said she didn’t like me because I was human, and that made her jealous.” It wasn’t something I’d ever really believed.
“That’s true to a certain extent.” He said, handing me the plate, it looked perfect and I dug in as he talked. “Rosalie and Edward have never really been close, so he’s just taking what bits of her thoughts he hears as fact. She does envy your humanity, but that’s not enough to make her dislike you. Honestly Bella, she’ll probably like you more for breaking up with him.”
I raised an eyebrow at him and he had the decency to look sheepish.
“I’m not trying to talk you into it.” He muttered, and why would he? It had no bearing on him. “I doubt Emmett will be bothered by it. You only need to worry about yourself and Edward.”
God, this was a good omelette, I should have convinced him to cook for me before now. I attempted to come up with some sort of plan, but all I could think was that I needed to be alone with Edward when I told him. I had nothing, I’d just have to tell him the truth in the kindest way possible and hope he took it well. Good luck Bella.
“Have you spoken to Emmett yet? I need to know what to cook tomorrow.” I changed the subject, I wanted to enjoy what little peaceful time I had left before Edward arrived.
“He said I should eat really rare steak, because you can still taste the blood so it’s not too bad, and he said to avoid carrots at all costs. I’m not sure if I trust him though.” He laughed.
“Won’t the blood make you thirsty?” I asked finishing the last bite of my breakfast.
“I didn’t think of that.” He frowned. “Perhaps I should be a vegetarian. What about pasta like what Esme and I made? That didn’t smell too terrible.”
“This is just awful. You could pretend to be ill or something, then you can just pick at it.” I hated that he’d have to eat, but I’d do the same for him if things were reversed.
“Don’t worry about it Bella. It will be fine.” He smiled taking my plate and washing it.
“That was the best omelette I ever had, thank you.” I smiled, falling just a little bit more in love with him as he stood at the sink. I hoped he couldn’t tell the difference between friendly love and love love.
“You’re welcome. Cooking is actually quite fun.” He sounded amused by that as I watched the muscles of his back moving under his shirt. I turned my thoughts back to Edward and stared down at the table top before my feelings got out of hand. The key seemed to be stopping them before they really had a chance to get started.
I rested my head in my hands and tried to pull myself together. Edward would always have a place in my heart, he was my first love but it was time to move on. I would always be grateful to him for letting me into his life and bringing me to the rest of his family. I couldn’t imagine life without them. I couldn’t imagine life without him.
But it would have to be different, because I couldn’t pretend to feel more for him than I did. The comforting weight of Jasper’s arm fell across my shoulders and I leaned into him automatically. If I could just stay here, exactly like this, everything would be fine.
“He’ll be here in less than a minute.” Jasper whispered, hugging me quickly. “I’m going home, but you can call me if you need me.”
It was difficult not to grab him and beg him to stay, but somehow I managed it, and then he was gone, and Edward was pulling into the drive. I could see them talking through the window, but I couldn’t hear anything.
I started wiping down the already clean worktops for something to do as I heard the roar of Jasper’s bike pulling away, and Edward letting himself in. “Good morning, my love.” He said coming into the kitchen and I felt my throat constrict with tears. I hadn’t really thought that leaving him would hurt me too.
“Morning.” I managed, trying to compose myself before I faced him.
“Would you like to come out to the meadow with me? I know it’s not particularly sunny, but it’s warm enough.”
Would that be a good idea? It seemed fitting that we should end in the place we’d really begun. “I’ll grab a jacket and we can leave.” I said quietly, wondering if he would pick up on my mood.
We were almost silent as we drove, talking to him now felt like lying, because only I knew where we stood and what was going to happen. I began to wish I’d told him at home and gotten it out of the way. I stared out of the window, fighting back tears and almost trembling with nerves.
I was jolted out of my thoughts as Edward pulled open my door; I hadn’t even noticed we’d stopped. “Can I carry you?” He grinned. “Or would you prefer to walk?”
Get it over with my mind shouted. “We can run.” I did my best to smile back at him before I climbed onto his back.
I felt sick by the time we got to the meadow, and it was nothing to do with the speed. Edward set me down and spread a blanket across the ground. He also had a small picnic basket that I’d failed to see before. I wasn’t very observant today, but my mind was on other things.
“Did you have a good time last night?” Edward asked, sitting close beside me.
“It was fine. We went home pretty soon after you left. How was Laurent?” I knew I was putting it off, but I couldn’t seem to force myself to say the words.
“He was trying to block me, but he didn’t have much success.” Edward scowled. “He’s slipped far too many times to be really trying, and he’s still in contact with Victoria, though I don’t know why.”
I shuddered both at the thought of him killing, and at the mention of Victoria.
“Let’s not talk about them.” He smiled turning towards me. “I thought we could talk about us, and get past all this ‘space’ nonsense.”
“It wasn’t nonsense Edward.” I said tightly. “I needed it to figure some things out.”
“And have you?” He asked quietly.
My stomach churned and my palms became damp as I tried to find the right words. “I... I have, yes.”
“Are you going to tell me?” He asked.
“I think, I mean... I want...” I couldn’t get my brain to link up with my mouth, and Edward was starting to look a little worried. “I think we should break up.” I whispered finally, not daring to look at him.
Edward was quiet for a long time. “You think we should break up? Why?”
“We’re not right for each other anymore.” If I could avoid it, I wouldn’t actually say I wasn’t in love with him.
“I think we are.” He said taking my hand. “Just tell me what to do to make things better, and I’ll do it.”
“There isn’t anything you can do Edward.” My eyes burned with unshed tears, but crying felt somehow self indulgent when I was the one causing the pain.
“You want more freedom? Is that it? I can do that, I can back off, but you can’t expect me to stand by while you hurt yourself, I’ve waited eighty years for you.”
“It’s not just that. I know you were trying to... trust me... more, but it’s too late for that now.”
“What do you mean it’s too late? Are you saying you don’t love me Bella?” He looked so shocked and hurt, this was exactly what I’d hoped to avoid.
“No, I’ll always love you, but I’m not... in love with you.” What a cliché.
“This is Jasper’s doing.” He growled. “He’s manipulating you, messing with your emotions!”
“Why do you always think everything is about him? He would never, ever do something like that. This is only about us!” I shouted, angry now.
“It’s the only thing that makes sense Bella. You spend a few weeks with him, and then poof, you don’t love me anymore. I can be like him Bella, is that what you want?” He snarled, rolling me to the ground and pinning my wrists above us. “You want danger? I can be dangerous.”
“Get off me!” I shouted. “I don’t want you to be like him, you’re being ridiculous, and he wouldn’t even do this.”
“Oh no?” He whispered sinisterly. “You think I don’t know? I always find out these things Bella. You can’t hide anything from a mind reader for long.”
He pulled aside my jacket and licked along my neck just like Jasper had and I froze. Someone had slipped. He knew. “Edward stop it.”
“I thought this was what you wanted?” He breathed, suckling my pulse. “Esme seemed to think that it didn’t bother you in the slightest.” He raised his head to look at me and his eyes were dangerously dark. “He hurt you, and you just wanted him more for it. Didn’t you?” He scraped his teeth along my jaw and I struggled to free my wrists. I wanted to hit him.
“What’s the problem Bella?” He growled.
“You’re hurting me.” I yelled.
“Isn’t that what you want?” He squeezed tighter and something snapped, my wrist felt like it was on fire, and Edward had disappeared.
I sat up clutching my injured limb and saw that he was standing a few feet away.
“I’m sorry. I snapped, it won’t happen again.” He mumbled as I glared at him.
“No you didn’t. You were hurting me deliberately, and you went too far.” I shouted struggling to my feet. “If you’d really snapped you’d have crushed it. Stay away from me.”
I headed back into the forest in what I hoped was the right direction, but he followed me. “Please let me take you back, we can fix this. I’ll take you to the hospital. You’re going the wrong way Bella.”
I ignored him and continued to stumble in and out of the trees. The tears on my cheeks irritated me, formed half from fear, half from anger. I couldn’t hear Edward behind me anymore, but I knew he was there. There wasn’t a chance he’d leave me alone in the woods.
Then again, up until half an hour ago, I hadn’t believed he would ever hurt me. I didn’t understand how things had gone so wrong so quickly.
I could see things about him that I hadn’t noticed before. The size of his ego for one thing. How he had been so sure that the only possible reason for me not to love him was if Jasper had made me feel that way.
And how long had he known that Jasper had attacked me, why had he done nothing about it until now? I’d thought he’d go after Jasper if he ever found out, but he’d saved the knowledge and used it against me instead. I rubbed at my neck with my good hand and cursed him.
I stopped for a minute to catch my breath and take off my jacket without hurting myself more, then started up again. It didn’t matter if I was going the wrong way, as long as I travelled in a straight line I was bound to hit a road eventually, then I could call someone to come and pick me up.
“I could kill him.” I muttered darkly as a branch scraped across my arm. I wondered if he’d follow the scent of my blood, or leave me alone now to keep me safe from him.
When I got home I’d ask Emmett to punch him for me. I was sure he’d do it. I wished for the millionth time that I was a vampire too, so that I could inflict the violence myself.
I’d been walking for nearly an hour when it started to rain. I’d never been so pissed off at anyone in my entire life. Everything, I decided, was Edwards fault. Not just my sore arm, but every little scrape I’d got, the fact that my hair was a mess, the tears in my favourite jeans, the mud on my hands and the fact that it was raining. I debated putting my jacket back on but I’d dropped it so many times it was almost completely covered in dirt. That was his fault too.
Half an hour later, I tripped, twisted my ankle and stayed sprawled on the floor. I’d had enough. I wasn’t moving again until it stopped raining, and even then I might decide to just stay here. I glared up at the canopy of leaves above me, fuming silently as I tried to stretch out my injured arm.
Closing my eyes against the rain I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. I was being stupid; if I stayed here much longer I’d end up sick on top of everything else. When I opened my eyes again my heart nearly stopped. Edward was hovering over me.
“Are you alright?” I could tell he was trying not to breathe, and I’d have enjoyed the fact that the scent of my blood was burning his throat if it hadn’t made him more dangerous.
“Go. Away. Edward.” I growled swiping wet hair of my face.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that. You’re miles away from anywhere and you’re going to get ill.” He said, scooping my up into his arms.
“Put me down.” I shouted, trying to tip myself out of his grasp. “I mean it Edward! Let me go, I don’t want you to help me!”
Every time I moved he tightened his grip, but I didn’t stop struggling until he was holding me so tight I couldn’t breathe. Everything started going fuzzy and my head felt huge and then I couldn’t see at all.

I woke up in Rosalie’s bed and it took me a minute to work out where I was and why I was there. I ached all over and I had a brace on my left wrist. Someone, presumably Carlisle, had also strapped up my ankle and put little plasters on most of my cuts and scrapes.
Someone else had got me changed out of my wet clothes into what I thought might be Rosalie's pyjamas. My chest hurt and my head ached, and I finally remembered that Edward had been holding me too tight and I’d passed out, I was quickly furious again, and was trying to stand up when Rosalie walked in.
“Oh you’re up.” She whispered. “Are you ok?” She handed me a glass of water and I gulped down half of it.
“Where is he?” I growled.
“It’s ok, you’re safe. Emmett's got him in the garden; he won’t be able to get past him.” She must have thought I was scared, when in reality, I was wondering if there was anything I could throw at him that would hurt.
“Can you take me to him please?” I asked, feeling a bit pathetic. I didn’t think I’d make it downstairs on my own.
“You want to see him?” She looked surprised. “Esme said you might forgive him, but I didn’t believe her.”
“I’m not forgiving him! I’m going to... to... well I’m going to do something.”
She grinned then, and I was reminded of what Jasper had said about her that morning. She picked me up easily and carried me carefully down the stairs and out into the garden, setting me on my feet about ten feet from where Emmett had Edward pinned to the ground. Esme was standing beside them, pain written clearly all over her face.
I hobbled closer leaning on Rose for support. Esme's eyes flickered back and forth between us and her sons. When we got level with Emmett I realised there had been some sort of mistake, and I had no idea how it could have happened. He was holding Jasper down.
“What are you doing?” I shouted. Jasper looked over at me, but Emmett didn’t move. He was sitting on top of Jasper with his forearm across his neck.
“Emmett get off him!” Still he didn’t even seem to hear me, and I noticed him muttering something at Jasper.
“...sick son-of-a-bitch. I ought to rip your head off...”
“Emmett!” I yelled for the last time. Esme and Rosalie were looking at me weirdly. I looked at the half full glass in my hand and threw it at Emmett as hard as I could. The glass smashed on his shoulder, water and glass shards almost exploding from it. He finally looked up.
“Get off him now. It was Edward.” I ground out, shoving his damp shoulder.
“It was Edward?” He said looking from me to Jasper for a few seconds before he pulled his arm off his throat and stepped away from him.
I took a step towards him, my ankle didn’t hold me and I crumpled next to him on the ground. “Are you ok?” I asked, frantically running my hands over his face and down his arms looking for any injuries.
“Are you?” He asked, reaching up to do the same to me. “What did he do?”
Satisfied that he was ok I faced Emmett, who promptly stared at the floor and scuffed the toe of his shoe against the grass.
“Explain.” I snapped.
“Well he didn’t say anything...” Emmett accused, looking at Jasper.
“You can’t really speak if you can’t get any air.” Jasper growled from behind me.
“Sorry man, I didn’t think. When you came running in with her in that state I just thought-”
“Wait, you brought me here?” I asked Jasper.
“I was hunting when Alice called me; she said that if I didn’t hurry up Edward was going to kill you. She told me to run towards the meadow and she warned me that you were bleeding. Someone should probably call her in case she hasn’t seen that you’re ok.” He muttered, still looking me over as if there might be some life threatening wounds I was hiding.
“Edward was running towards the house with you, you were unconscious and bleeding, not badly, but from lots of different places. Alice told me not to hurt him, because it was an accident, and he just handed you over to me and ran. I brought you back and Carlisle took you from me. The second you were out of my arms Emmett tackled me.”
I looked up at Esme, if anyone knew how much Jasper cared about me it was her. She’d seen how ashamed he’d been weeks ago. “How could you possibly think Jasper did this?”
“Bella you have to understand, he walked in with you like this, we thought he must have attacked Edward and taken you. And your neck it’s just like...” She trailed off.
“Just like before.” I finished for her. “Edward knew.”
“That's why he attacked you?” She asked, horrified.
“No, he attacked me because I broke up with him, and he thought I’d like him better if he was more like- if he was more dangerous.” I explained. I still wanted to cause him some bodily harm if at all possible. “So where is he then?”
“We don’t know, when Jasper brought you back we thought he must be hurt somewhere, so Carlisle and Tanya’s coven have gone out to look for him.” Esme was clearly quite shocked about what had really happened, and I found myself angry at all of them for automatically blaming Jasper.
Jasper stood up and brought me with him, cradling me carefully. “Should have seen this coming.” He mumbled as he strode towards the house with me.
“It’s not your fault, idiot. And everyone’s fine, let’s just forget about it.” I told him as he sat on the couch, keeping me in his lap.
“Forget about it? He damn near killed you, you couldn’t breathe Bella! If Alice hadn’t seen it you’d be dead. It’s not ok, and we’re not going to forget about it. And don’t try to tell me none of it’s my fault; look at the marks on your neck. He did that because of me.”
“He’s right Bella. If he comes back here I’m going to take his head off.” Emmett growled as he stomped into the room. “Sorry Jazz, for you know...”
“Doesn’t matter.” Jasper said, kissing the top of my head. “As long as she’s ok. You are ok, right? Carlisle fixed everything?”
“I’m fine.” I sighed. “What time is it?”
“Almost five.” Rosalie told me coming to sit beside Jasper and I. “Would one of you please explain exactly what's going on? Because it seems like there's something going on between the two of you, and that’s why Edward's flipped.”
I gulped. There was something going on, but only on my side, and Edward seemed to think there was something. Esme was staring at Jasper with a strange, speculative look that I decided to ignore, my head was still a bit too muzzy to try to work out what other people were thinking.
“I’ll call Carlisle and let him know what really happened.” She said eventually and I realised I still hadn’t answered Rosalie's question.
I couldn’t hear any of what Esme was saying into the phone as she was speaking too quickly and quietly for my ears. I looked to Jasper for a translation but he was glaring at the wall and didn’t see me.
Esme came back and sat across from us in a chair. “They crossed his trail and it looks like he’s heading to Alaska. Tanya, Carmen and Eleazer are going home, they think that's where he might be going, Kate’s going to follow the trail for a while just to be sure.”
She looked as exhausted as I felt, which was quite scary, as I knew she wasn’t supposed to get tired. “I’m so sorry Bella.” She said.
“Don’t you dare apologise for his actions.” Rose snapped before I had a chance to say anything. “Edward is a fool, and we all put too much trust in his control. This is his fault.”
“I don’t think we can blame this on a lack of control.” Carlisle sighed, already holding Esme, though I hadn’t seen him come in. “Look at her injuries. He broke her wrist, from her bruises it’s obvious he was holding her down, and the marks on her neck show how in control of himself he was. He hurt her deliberately and it had nothing to do with blood.”
He looked so disappointed, so hurt and I felt awful, because really, it was my fault as much as it was Edward’s.
“Don’t think like that Bella.” Jasper whispered against my temple, his lips brushing my skin. “Don’t feel guilty. You didn’t ask for this.”
“This is the second time he’s left you because of me.” I reminded them.
“If he hadn’t run I’d have sent him away Bella.” Carlisle surprised me. “If he’d drank from you it would be almost more forgivable, a part of his nature, but hurting you like this is wrong. There’s no excuse for his behaviour.”
“He was trying to be what he thought I wanted.” I explained.
“Some of us are still a little out of the loop here.” Rosalie scowled. “You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Two weeks ago, I attacked Bella.” Jasper began, taking the lead. “She was mostly unharmed and she forgave me for it. She understood that I was almost starving and that I wasn’t exactly... sane, at the time.”
“You gave her that hick-” Emmett tried to interrupt, but Rosalie quickly silenced him, eager to hear the story.
“Only the two of us and Esme knew about it, so either Esme or I have slipped with our thoughts and Edward found out. When she broke up with him, he... what? Decided to replay it? Is that about it, Bella?”
“Sort of. He thought that I... wanted you... because you’re dangerous. He was trying to show me that he could be like that too.” I mumbled. “What am I going to tell Charlie?”
Jasper stoked my brace gently. “Tell him that you broke up with Edward, maybe you broke your wrist punching him.” He smiled. “Say that Edward has gone to stay with Alice for a while.”
I nodded and wriggled further into his comforting embrace. “I’ll tell him I wandered into the woods in a bad mood, he’ll believe that, and I’ll say that you came looking for me and took me to Carlisle. He’ll be annoyed that Edward left me in the woods, but he’ll like you more, so that's a plus.”
His chuckle rumbled through me, relaxing me further. Everyone else was half forgotten, and I thought how nice it would be to stay in his arms forever, but the room was too quiet, and it was a tense silence.
After a few minutes of waiting for someone to speak I looked around and realised that everyone else had left. I hated the way they could do that.
“Emmett didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“Not really.” Jasper shrugged. “Irritated me more than anything else. He was incredibly angry.”
“That's... flattering, I suppose.” I frowned making him laugh. “Do you think he’ll come back? Edward, I mean.”
“I don’t know. Are you worried he’ll come after you?”
“No. He was, I don’t know, desperate. I don’t think he was thinking clearly, and I know he didn’t mean to go this far.” I explained. “I hope he comes back soon so I can yell at him.”
Jasper laughed again. “You could always call him and tell him to get his ass back here. He wouldn’t dare deny you anything.”
“You know, I think I will. Can I borrow your phone, I think mine’s still in my jeans.” The little cell was in my hand before I’d had chance to finish asking. He was looking at me with barely suppressed laughter, probably thinking he was about to hear his brother get his ass handed to him.
I scrolled through the phonebook and found ‘Eddikins’, laughing as I pressed the call button. It rang. And rang. And rang, until eventually I gave up and decided he wasn’t going to answer.
“Shame.” Jasper sighed. “I was looking forward to that.”
“Mmm.” I mumbled turning into him for a hug. “Take me home?”
“Of course. We should check with Carlisle first, just to make sure you’re really ok.”
His concern was touching, but I hated being fussed over. “Let’s just leave, I’m fine, honestly. I don’t want to bother them, but I’d really like to get home.”
“If you’re sure.” He said, scooping me up and carrying me into the garage. “Let’s steal the Volvo. Edward won’t be needing it for a while.”
The only problem was, Rosalie had already got to the Volvo. She seemed to be immensely enjoying the methodical pulling apart of the engine.
She looked faintly embarrassed to be caught doing it, but carried on nonetheless. “Are you going home?” She asked me.
“Jasper’s taking me.” I nodded, smiling at the sight of crumpled metal littering the floor all around her.
“I was hoping to borrow the Volvo.” He frowned. “She won’t be able to hold on very well on the bike.”
Rosalie looked torn for a moment, before something whizzed towards us and Jasper let me go for half a second to catch it.
“Seriously?” He grinned, bouncing up onto the balls of his feet.
“I want it back tomorrow in perfect condition. In fact, I’ll be at Bella’s house first thing in the morning to collect it, and if there’s a single scratch, your bike will meet the same fate as Edward’s car.”
By the time she’d finished speaking Jasper had already placed me in the passenger seat of Rosalie's car and run back over to kiss her cheek.
As we pulled out of the garage he ran his hand almost lovingly over the dash. “She never, ever lets anyone else drive this you know. She must be feeling guilty about letting Emmett wrestle me.” He laughed, his eyes alight like a child on Christmas morning.
I watched him as he watched the road, somehow still amazed by how beautiful he was. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of looking at him. He was especially wonderful to look at right now, happy and relaxed and hopefully unaware of me staring at him.
I turned my gaze quickly out of the window and imagined him instead. He’d come and saved me I realised, and wished I’d been awake to see it. I bet he looked beautiful running through the rain, all purposeful and angry.
Gah, bad thoughts again. Think of something else. He’d spoken to Alice. I wondered how he was feeling; he didn’t seem upset by it. I didn’t want to bring it up in case the only reason he was ok was because he hadn’t really thought about it yet.
Why had she called him anyway? There were plenty of people who could have come to my rescue. Maybe Jasper had been the closest to us, or maybe there was some other reason. Did she know about my feelings? I’d just about die if she did. What if she’d said something to Jasper about it?
“What is it?” Jasper asked worriedly. He reached over and put his hand on my thigh, probably in an attempt to calm me, but of course it had the opposite effect. “What are you worrying about?”
Think Bella! Crap, what could I tell him? “I’m thinking about... Art, that's it, yeah Art. We have to reveal our paintings tomorrow and I’m a little nervous.” I lied, hopefully convincingly.
“I’d forgotten about that.” He muttered, looking fairly worried himself. “You’ll be fine. Fenwick keeps saying it’s the best you’ve ever done, and I must admit, I’m curious to see what you’ve painted.”
Jasper was the only person that I wanted to hide the picture from. I knew it was good, but I was worried that he might guess my feelings for him all too easily if he saw it.
“Have you finished yours yet?” I asked him, hoping to get his mind off my painting. Jasper had restarted his picture every single lesson, and he’d never let me see the pictures he gave up on. I was as curious about his picture as he was about mine.
“I think so. I like the last one the best so far anyway.” He frowned. “I’ve never struggled like this before.”
“Why is it so difficult?” I was hoping he’d slip up and tell me what he was drawing, but he only sent me a sly look and ignored the question.
When we got out of the car at home Jasper had to carry me again, this time because I hadn’t thought to put any shoes on before we left. Maybe I could ‘lose’ all my shoes, and then he’d have to carry me everywhere. He opened the door easily, and stepped into the hallway letting me down but still supporting my weight.
Charlie came out of the kitchen and stood staring at us. I saw his eyes flick from my wrist to my ankle before quickly scanning the rest of me, then turning his hostile gaze on Jasper. “What have you done to my daughter?” He demanded. Now would be a really great time for Jasper to use his gift.
“He didn’t do anything.” I say quickly, noticing how close Charlie was standing to his gun belt. “I hit Edward.” I waved my wrist at him. “And ran off into the woods, that's how I hurt my ankle. Jasper came looking for me and took me to Carlisle to get me patched up.”
Charlie looked between us for what I’m sure was hours while I silently prayed he’d believe me. Finally, he gave Jasper a nod. “Where’s your brother now?”
“He’s left the family for a while and gone to stay with Alice.” Jasper said, his tone not giving anything away, and again I wondered about the phone call.
“Do I need to track him down?” Charlie asked me. “What did he do to make you hit him?”
Oops. We hadn’t covered this in our little planning session. I needed something bad enough to warrant hitting him, but not bad enough that Charlie would want to go after him, and I was coming up with nothing.
“That would be my fault I guess Chief.” Jasper muttered doing a very good job of looking embarrassed. “When Bella broke up with him, he accused her of sleeping with me. Which isn’t true, of course.” He added hastily.
I had to fight down a laugh. The lie was perfect, and it was one Charlie had heard before. Again he looked at us for a while, and I began to think he might not believe us, but eventually, he smiled. “Ok.” He said. “You kids hungry? I was going to order pizza.”
“I ate at home.” Jasper told him quickly.
“Sure dad, I’ll have some.” I had plans that involved Charlie getting to know Jasper and liking him, and the only way to do that was to get them to spend some time together. “Help me into the living room?” I asked Jasper.
While Charlie called the pizza place Jasper carried me to the sofa and set me down. “Do you know anything about fishing?” I whispered quickly.
“Not really.” He looked confused. “Why?”
“I want Charlie to like you, plus dinner tomorrow will be easier if you’ve already gotten to know each other a little.”
“What else does he like, besides fishing?” He asked looking a bit worried.
“You know, what, forget it. He’ll like you anyway,” Maybe a confidence boost would help more than giving him good things to talk about. I was rewarded with a huge smile that had me almost melting.
He carefully lifted up my feet and slipped onto the sofa under them, resting them in his lap. His cool hands on my swollen ankle were bliss and I couldn’t quite contain a moan. I knew I was blushing furiously, and I could feel him shaking with laughter, so I tipped my head back to rest on the arm of the couch so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
“You like that Bella?” He teased, running his fingers over the bandages.
“No.” I lied pathetically, I couldn’t even convince myself to move my feet away from him.
I heard Charlie walking back into the room and sitting down in his chair. It was comforting to be around someone who actually made noise when they walked again. “Billy and Jake are coming for dinner tomorrow Bells, do you need me to buy anything on the way home from work?”
“Dad, Jasper’s staying for dinner tomorrow, remember?” I reminded him, surely he hadn’t forgotten.
“I know, I thought it would be nice if there were more of us.” I knew that by ‘nice’ he meant less awkward. Clearly, he didn’t know his old friend as well as he thought he did. I couldn’t imagine anything more awkward than Billy Black eating dinner at the same table as a Cullen.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I said carefully. I knew that Charlie knew about Billy’s dislike of the Cullen's, but I didn’t know if he knew exactly what Billy thought of them.
“He’s promised to keep his silly prejudices to himself.” Charlie told me, his eyes quickly flicking to Jasper. “And you like Jake, right? Billy said he’s wanted to see you for a while.”
Last time I’d seen Jacob he’d been sent to my prom to warn me away from Edward. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing either of them.
“Great.” I mumbled only relaxing when Jasper resumed his gentle massage. Could he be more perfect? I was watching him again when he cocked his head to one side, listening to something.
“Carlisle” He whispered, low enough that Charlie wouldn’t be able to hear it. I strained to hear whatever it was he was listening to, and after about half a minute of nothing, I heard the distant purr of an engine.
Jasper sent me a wave of calm before I even had time to start worrying about why they were coming here. The car pulled up at the curb and Charlie stood up, to answer the door, probably thinking it was the pizza. We stayed on the sofa listening carefully, and I watched Jasper’s lips twitch, assuming he was saying something to Carlisle.
“Dr. Cullen, Mrs Cullen.” Charlie greeted them. “Have you come for Jasper?”
“Actually I wanted to see Bella. I prescribed her some pills for the pain in her wrist and she forgot them. I thought we’d bring them over and make sure she was doing ok.” Carlisle’s voice was warm and calm as always and Charlie invited them in without hesitation.
Esme’s face transformed from worry to joy as soon as she caught sight of us on the couch. I sat up to make room for her and she perched between us, staring at me. “I thought... when you left, that you weren’t coming back.” She whispered, while Carlisle kept Charlie occupied in the hall. “But you will, won’t you?”
“Of course Esme.” I smiled, reaching round her for a hug. “As long as you want me.”
“Always.” She said stoking my hair back. “I’m not losing you too.”
I felt guilty again. She’d lost her son because of me, and who knew when he’d come back.
“Bella.” Jasper growled. “Edward leaving is Edward’s fault, not yours.”
“We don’t blame you.” Esme exclaimed, a little too loudly considering how close Charlie was. “We wanted to apologise, for Edward's actions, that's the main reason we came.”
“Both of you are being ridiculous.” Jasper sighed. “Edward made a mistake, and the two of you are fighting over which of you gets to take the blame. Let’s leave the blame where it belongs, with him.”
Esme nodded, but I don’t think she really believed what he was saying. Parents always blame themselves after all. Carlisle and Charlie joined us laughing like old friends.
“You’ve kept the brace on?” Carlisle asked, switching into doctor mode as he moved to the couch. Quietly he explained my injury, as he hadn’t had time to before. “It’s a hairline fracture, and the brace will have to stay on for a few weeks I’m afraid, but you should be able to walk on your ankle by tomorrow.”
“Thanks.” I told him as he handed me a small bottle of pills.
“I’m very sorry for everything that’s happened Bella.” He said sadly. “I thought I’d raised him better.”
I didn’t think I could get away with hugging him, Charlie might think that was a bit weird, so I kissed his cheek quickly hoping Charlie wouldn’t notice.
He grinned and ruffled my hair as he and Esme stood to leave. I took my chance now knowing Charlie was less likely to argue in front of them. “Jasper can stay, right Dad?”
“I don’t know Bells, it’s a school night. What do you think?” He turned to ask Esme's opinion.
“We have no problem with it.” She smiled widely, and I was mildly suspicious that she was dazzling him into agreeing. It was pretty much confirmed when he grinned back nodding stupidly.
Carlisle laughed at her and tugged her towards the door. “Be good children.” She called in an oddly eager voice as they left.
“Hopeful.” Jasper muttered, frowning. “She’s feeling hopeful.”
I got comfortable again and put my feet up. “About what?”
“I don’t know.” He cocked his head again, and then scowled at the door.
“What?” I nudged his thigh, but he just shook his head and muttered something under his breath. It was obvious I wouldn’t get any more out of him.
There was another knock at the door and Charlie went to answer it, I hoped it was the pizza this time, I was starving.
I craned my neck around to see what was taking so long. “Patience is a virtue.” Jasper laughed.
I poked his leg with my foot again and stuck my tongue out at him. Why was I acting like a five year old? That was hardly likely to make him feel the same way. Actually, when had I decided I was going to pursue him? I hadn’t. I wouldn’t dare.
I had absolutely no experience in trying to attract a man; I’d just make a fool of myself. Or worse, I’d scare him off and then I wouldn’t even have him as a friend. The only option was to pretend I didn’t want him, until I really didn’t want him. It should be easy enough, provided I don’t stupidly kiss him again, and I manage to disguise my feelings. Who was I kidding, he probably knew already. And he was still here, pretending he didn’t. New plan then, as long as Jasper ignores the fact that I’m falling in love with him, it isn’t really happening.
I mulled over ways of getting over him as I ate my pizza, but none of them were very good. Most of them involved avoiding him, or trying to date someone else, and neither of those appealed to me in any way at all. It would probably be a long slow process.
“Have you gotten all your homework finished Bella?” Charlie asked as he cleared away the boxes and plates.
“I just have some math left.” I said flippantly, internally panicking as I realised I had a few hours’ worth of the stuff to do.
Jasper smirked at me, no doubt feeling my sudden alarm. “Want me to take you upstairs?” He offered.
I agreed instantly, not bothering to tell him that I could probably make it up on my own. His hands had done wonders for my ankle. I’d start operation ‘get over Jasper’ tomorrow. Or maybe the next day.
Jasper kicked open my bedroom door and started laughing, and I wriggled around to see why. Charlie had set up a camp bed a few feet away from my bed with a sleeping bag and pillow rolled up on top.
“I guess he wasn’t too fond of us camping out on the floor together.” Jasper grinned, striding over the camp bed and setting me down. I pouted. I liked curling up with Jasper.
“Mmm.” I grumbled, pulling out the dreaded math text book. I might have understood it now, but I still despised it. “Want to help me?” I tried.
“I suppose by ‘help’ you mean tell you all the answers?” He laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling my feet up again. I bit back another moan and nodded hopefully.
“It wouldn’t hurt, just this once.” I pleaded. “I understand it; I just can’t be bothered with it tonight.”
He gave in quickly and dictated answers to me, but made me do the last one on my own. It was difficult to pay attention to what he was saying when his hands on my ankle felt so good. I really needed to work on not looking like I was daydreaming.
Eventually my thoughts turned to Edward again.
“What are you thinking?” Jasper asked, his hands stilling. “Why are you sad?”
“I was thinking about Edward.”
“You regret it?” He frowned.
“No. I just wish it hadn’t ended that way. Everything seems sour now. Today ruined things, all my memories feel tainted.” I explained. “Mom always told me that you never forget your first love, and that he’ll always be special to you. The way he acted today cancelled out a lot of the good things, and there were good things, it wasn’t all fighting.”
“I know you, Bella. You’ll forgive him eventually, and one day he might even forgive himself. In a few years it will be as if today never really happened and you’ll be able to look back on all the happy memories without anything spoiling them.”
“A few years.” I chuckled. “That's nothing to you, is it?”
“Every second counts.” He told me, smiling strangely.
“But the seconds are more important to me. In a few years I’ll be twenty.” That was a fairly horrible thought.
“I’m twenty.” Jasper grinned. “Sort of.”
“Yeah? Ok then.” I nodded to myself. So I wasn’t as old as Jasper yet, I felt better. “How old is everyone else?”
“Emmett was twenty when he was changed, Rosalie eighteen, and Alice was nineteen we think. Carlisle was twenty three, and Esme’s the oldest at twenty six.”
How stupid I’d been to worry that I was getting older than everyone else. Now that I was no longer with Edward I wasn’t worried about being older than him. I’d just have to convince Carlisle to change me before I was twenty. I told myself that had nothing at all to do with Jasper’s age.
I yawned and Jasper carried me to the bathroom. “Give me a shout when you’re done and I’ll come and get you.” He told me going back to my room.
It was the first time I’d looked in the mirror since this morning, and I didn’t like what I saw. How Charlie hadn’t noticed the marks on my neck I didn’t know, they were much more obvious than the ones Jasper had left. I’d have my work cut out to cover them up for school tomorrow.
The scratches were nothing; I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been entirely without cuts of some sort. The bruises annoyed me the most, they’d take ages to fade, and couldn’t be explained away if Charlie caught sight of any of them. I was definitely going to hit Edward when I saw him. If I saw him.
Jasper came back to get me and I made him push the camp bed up against mine. He didn’t seem to think there was anything strange about that, but I had an excuse ready just in case.
He pulled the blankets up to my shoulders and brushed my hair back out of the way, his cool fingers lingering for a moment at my jaw. For half a second I thought he might kiss me good night, but he turned away and got into his sleeping bag instead. I hoped he didn’t feel my disappointment or that if he did, he didn’t understand it.
We laid on our sides facing each other in the darkness; I wanted his face to be the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.
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Destiny Awaits