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When It Rains	By : Illiandyandra Category: S through Z > Stephanie Plum Series Views: 9524 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to this fandom. Stephanie Plum and her world along with any characters there in, belong to Janet Evanovich her publishers and distributors. I make no money from this as stated by the fact that I own none of the rights

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
WHEN IT RAINS
Illiandyanndra
Stephanie Plum
Pairings: Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)
Spoilers: Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.
^^Thoughts^^
^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^
“Speech”
AN: I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…
Please take a moment and Check out My new Community: MORELLI BASHERS ANONYMOUS
AN2: Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.
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CHAPTER 16
HellaGood
Stephanie PoV
After mine and Lula’s shopping trip, the mission included there in, which I totally killed. I received one hell of a reward from Tank and, my oh my, what a great reward it was. Granted I couldn’t exactly talk the next day, and sitting was a bit of a challenge but it was so very worth it.
Over the course of that week, we grew together as well whatever, exactly we are. Ranger finished all the security upgrades and modifications, and on Wednesday he walked us through all the changes. Currently they are on what he considers medium alert mode. So in addition to the usual keypad with biometrics and camera monitoring, we also had two Rangemen walking the perimeter and we were ‘dressed’ whenever we were dressed.
Sexually it was one of the best weeks of my life. I made love every evening and night, and most mornings; relishing in spending some alone time with each of them. It is amazing how different they all are; even while being so fundamentally similar. Tank, while he truly loves me, is so completely in love with my ass I no longer feel bad about it. His devotion to my backside is almost scary. Cal truly enjoys touch. Lester is almost as good with the mind fuck an aural sex as Ranger was when he was ‘poaching’. Currently Ranger seems to be focused on the making sure that now that he has me, he wants me as physically and emotionally fulfilled as I can possibly be. He seems to know just when I’m feeling down during training, and he’s always there with a “proud of you Babe” or some other words of encouragement. Bobby is a freaking slave driver. He’ll torture me for two hours with exercise and then he’ll torture me for another hour with his hands and mouth, and lovely long, thick delicious…well you know.
Hal is my cuddle bear. I mean don’t get me wrong every single one of them give me hugs and cuddles whenever I want…but Hal truly seems to want and need them as much as I do. It’s great. Hector, he’s my ninja. He shows up out of nowhere ready for whatever. He and I are working on our language skills together. I teach him English and he teaches me Spanish. We haven’t gotten beyond the body parts yet, but we’re working diligently on those.
In Hector, I found the best fighting trainer, ever. The rest of my men are used to being the biggest, baddest dog in any fight. Hector and I, neither of us have that immediate advantage of an intimidating size. So Hector taught me the best ways to beat bigger, arrogant adversaries. Unfortunately in the midst of learning to live together, making sure that my nieces stay safe, searching for a stalker, and playing matchmaker for Ranger’s far too picky siblings…ok so they aren’t that picky, not considering that they themselves are extremely attractive and have great careers…anyway; we managed to completely underestimate exactly how messed up in the head Val actually is…but I’m jumping ahead of myself.
Anyway…I was back in fighting form by Friday. Lula came through and Connie had the day off. Mrs. Molnar agreed to pick Lou’s boys up from school and keep them until Saturday afternoon, so she and Lenny could come out with us. Mary Lou was in heaven. Not only was she going to be able to have a girls’ day, but she and Lenny hadn’t had a night out with friends in forever and one that didn’t include the kids, well that was even longer ago. So yeah she was quite happy.
My mom sort of invited herself and Grandma along. But since that gave her Rangeman eyes a shift in the office, it worked out well. However at the time I wasn’t sure the positive outweighed the negative. The negative being the extreme embarrassment that came when we were discussing the client services available and those previously requested for the group. Of course the attendant was a girl I knew. Nicole Polizzi, is as nosy as any ‘burg girl but she managed to keep her professionalism to our faces. “Now we have the facial masks and seaweed wrap for everyone. Facial hair removal for all, leg and bikini waxing for all. I see we are leaving the Brazilian waxing up to the individual, so which of you ladies will be choosing to have one?” Connie and Mary Lou exchanged looks that seemed to say ‘I will if you will.’ And both raised their hands.
“What is that?” My mother asked, she looked a little embarrassed.
The attendant gave mom a reassuring smile. “Well, Mrs. Plum, a Brazilian wax traditionally removes any and all hair from the vaginal area. Though each individual can decide to leave some hair in any desired shape.”
Mom blushed as red as anything, but she spoke calmly. “Oh, I see. I would like to include that service as well.”
“Go Helen.” Grandma laughed.
“Mom?” I asked. I don’t know why I asked, or even what I was asking really.
“Well dear. I used to be well bare down there many years ago. But I had to stop shaving when you and your sister decided that you had no need to knock before entering the bathroom. After a while it became normal not to…but since I’m here.” She said. Funny how I can feel chided for something I did twenty years ago.
“Mrs. Plum, don’t you let Skinny White Girl trip on you. if you want your chocha bare, that’s nobody’s business but you and the wax girl…well and Mr. Frank’s.” Lula said giving my mom a bright smile. “Stephanie should give it a try.”
“I can’t.” I said looking down and studying my shoes.
Lula bristled. “Why the hell not? It’s a free country.”
“Les and Bobby want to take care of that themselves.” I mumbled.
My grandmother, whom I love and would never think of pushing into traffic, heard my answer though it was too low for Lula to pick up. “Baby Granddaughter…you and those boys of yours are too much.” She laughed loudly. “She can’t get waxed because Lester and the Doctor want her to let them handle that themselves.’ She explained to the others.
“His name is Bobby, mother.” Mom reminded Grandma.
“I know his name, Helen. But I can brag if I want to. You used to call the Dick, ‘the Lawyer’.” Grandma grumbled.
“Of Course I did, What kind of grown man calls himself such and embarrassing name. I couldn’t say that word out loud like that all willy nilly.” Mom rebutted as we were being led back to the changing rooms. Caesar, our Rangeman inside, was settling down in the lobby with his cell phone out to play Angry Birds when the door closed behind us.
The day turned out to be wonderful. By the time we were all waxed, plucked, exfoliated, moisturized, wrapped and everything else we came out looking and feeling like new women. And for once in my life, I wanted to spend more time with my mother.
“I wonder if they can fit me in at the beauty parlor.” She asked no one in particular. But she did give me a great idea.
I whipped out my phone. “Mr. Alexander Maison de Cheveux.” He answered in the second ring.
“Mr. Alexander, its Stephanie Plum. I have my mom with me we just finished at the spa you recommended. Great place, by the way. Anyway she’d like a new look. Can you fit us in?”
“Of course. Just the two of you…I thought it was going to be a whole gaggle of you girls going.” He said all too knowingly.
“Well yes. I have Mary Lou, Connie, and Grandma with me too…oh and of course Lula. But you know she goes to Patrice on Starke, and Patrice would cut her if she went anywhere else.” I laughed.
“Bring them. I’ve been dying to get my hands on your Connie’s hair, I know this is New Jersey…but it is no longer the early nineties. And dear lord. I would kill to get rid of the little old lady hair I see on your grandmother.” He laughed. “But not Lula. Patrice would cut me too. We shop at the same hair supply store.”
“Are you that bored?” I asked.
“YES.” He groaned. “This economy is freaking killing me.”
“See you in a few.” I replied. “Okay Mr. Alexander can fit us all in. well except you Lula… because he says that Patrice would cut both of you.”
“Damn Skippy.” Lula laughed.
I quickly texted my JLS. ‘Done at Spa…headed to mall. Still six of us plus Caesar and Brett.’
‘OK. Will pick up Manny and Vince en route.’ Came the reply from Ranger.
We headed out and sure enough our convoy picked up one more Rangeman SUV, noted for their size shiny and blackness. We hit Mr. Alexander’s first and as soon as he had his hands full with Mom and Connie, I made two quick phone calls. The first was to Rossini’s. I begged and pleaded until I was able to get a reservation for two at six. Then I called Daddy.
“Hey Pumpkin, everything ok?” he answered his cell.
“Of course Daddy. I’ve got Mom and Grandma with me at Mr. Alexander’s and Mom is getting a new hairdo. So I’m thinking that I may drag her to Macy’s and get her a new outfit and you and she can go to Rossini’s for dinner.” I suggested.
“That would be great, Pumpkin. Your mother would love it. But I’m not sure that I can get a reservation this late.” He began.
“Already taken care of…it’s for six under Plum.” I said with a smile.
“Well then I guess I’d better go and get my hair cut.” He laughed. “Steph, I’m glad you and your mother are having such a good time together today.”
I chuckled. “Hey. I never said we were having a good time. She might be driving me crazy. Telling me I should be more like Mary Lou or someone.” I teased.
Daddy laughed. “If she were, you’d have never taken her to your hair guy…let alone be getting ready to take her shopping, and setting us up with a nice date.”
“You’re right. I cannot ever remembering having this much fun with Mom. This is better than when I was a kid.” I told him with a smile.
“And I’m glad Pumpkin. She seems to be more like her old self than she’s been since Val was born. So have you decided what you want to do about giving me a grandson?” he asked slowly.
I laughed. “Sorry Daddy, have to go. Mr. Alexander is calling me for my turn.” I replied.
“Yeah, right.” He said skeptically. “Well think on it.”
“If it makes you feel any better, you’ve got Lula, Mary Lou and the guys on your side.” I teased.
“Yeah…but until you get on board, I’m still fishing alone.” Daddy rejoined. “Go, have fun with you mother and make sure that she doesn’t cut her hair again. Love you Pumpkin, whatever you decide.” He disconnected.
An hour and a half later, Mom and Mary Lou were finished. Mr. Alexander was blowing my curls out and his shampoo girl was washing the highlighting solution from Connie’s hair. He set my hair in huge rollers and I ended up over by Lula while Grandma and Mr. Alexander resumed their hair color argument. He wanted to tint Grandma’s grey curls a nice brown with blonde highlights…much like my own. Grandma disagreed. She wanted either a platinum blond or a nice red. Lula offered me $20 on Grandma…but I wasn’t stupid enough to bet against the woman from whom I inherited my stubbornness.
Eventually Mr. Alexander caved and gave her a lovely deep but natural red with blonde highlights. Mary Lou’s hair was simply a richer version of her natural blonde, with honey lowlights and very light almost platinum highlights. My own natural brown had been enlivened with golden blonde and light red highlights, and some darker chestnut lowlights. Mom had allowed Mr. Alexander to take her hair back to her natural chestnut brown, a shade or three darker than my own, but she had dark golden and deep auburn highlights throughout her curls. Rather than blow out her curls, he’d wrapped them, still wet, around some large rollers and put her under a hood dryer from the get go. The finished look made her look at least fifteen years younger.
I wished we’d had the time to get her nails done, but by the time Mr. Alexander finished with us we were already pushing four. We hit Macy’s like we were on a mission. The Rangemen providing forward and rear coverage that got us through the slight crowds quickly and efficiently. First we found Mom a gorgeous Jones New York faux wrap dress with chiffon sleeves in the prettiest shade of sapphire blue. It was perfect for the new her. A quick stop at the costume jewelry department and Connie found her some beautiful synthetic sapphire and pearl accessories. I took her to the shoe department and refused to let her buy anything sensible. Instead I found her a pair of retro looking pumps with a small platform and a 31/2 inch block heel. I let her be comfortable by staying with a neutral black. But I absolutely put my foot down when it came to those old fashion pantyhose. We searched the lingerie department and finally found her a retro sex kitten undergarment that gave her tummy control but best of all it had garter straps which let me talk her into getting a pair of seam up the back stockings.
Thankfully Fredericks was only a few doors from Macy’s on the top floor. The lingerie store was out last stop for Mom. And our first stop for us. I managed to keep Grandma from going crazy, but I just know she’d gonna drag me back here when we have more time. Caesar and Vince took my mother and grandmother home, Vince staying to keep eyes on Grandma and Caesar stayed with Mom and Dad.
Lula found the actual clothing section at Frederick’s and she became immediately enthralled. She became determined, and I mean one step from rhino mode determined, that we get out lingerie and tops from here. Then we could hit Macy’s for the rest of our outfits. Granted that may have been because she found this amazing corset top. It was red with black embroidery; it was also low cut, tight and eye catching…so all around a perfect Lula top. She found a bra and panty set that was just as red as the shirt.
Mary Lou looked and looked for her before I finally made her get a great surplice blouse in purple, with cap sleeves, that was sexy without being over the top. It was subtle sexy and therefore perfect for Mary Lou. She found a lace over satin half-slip and bra set that had the garter straps as well and she grabbed quite a few pairs of the back seamed stockings. And she thought I didn’t notice the ruffled shelf bar and panty set she picked up too.
Of course as easy as it was to find things for Mary Lou, that’s how hard it was to find something for Connie. Finally we decided to just look around and see what we could find. Connie seemed to be less about the looking for an outfit, and more about looking into every mirror she passed mumbling, ‘my hair’ over and over.
“It looks great.” I told her honestly. Mr. Alexander had introduced some auburn and mahogany highlights to her almost jet black hair. He’d blown it out and finished it off with some face framing layers that made her heart shaped face even more beautiful and doll like. She looked amazing. But she didn’t really find a top that spoke to her. So she went to wander the store alone while I tried to find a shirt. I looked but I didn’t see anything. At least not until I stumbled across a clearance rack of dresses. Most of them looked like total distraction wear, but there was one…It was a Chinese Cheongsam style dress, but rather than the traditional red, the background was a pretty blue topaz color. It had Japanese Cherry blossoms for the embroidery with light pink flowers, green leaves, and dark brown branches. I loved it. It was actually ankle length with slits up both sides that came pretty high up the sides of my thighs. I found the cutest little stretch satin and lace chemise in black that had the required garter straps, and I went with regular sheer stockings in deep brown, rather than back seamed ones.
Suddenly Connie appeared next to me smiling back. She not only had the sexiest black dress I’ve ever seen, but a box of something too. She held up the dress and I could tell it was cut down to there a deep scoop neck in the front, and as low as it could go in the back. The skirt would hit Connie a bit below mid-thigh. And the dress had kind of billowy sleeves that were gathered at the wrist and slit from shoulder to cuff. I was about to ask her how she was gonna manage that dress given her rather well-endowed chest area, when she held up the box. “Nu Bra invisible bra system.” She answered my unasked question. The sales girl found it for me and she found me the tiniest red thong. So now I just need shoes.”
“Me too.” I smiled and showed her my finds.
“Now, you are sure that Ranger’s brother is going to be there?” She asked. I gave her a surprised look. “Lula told me. She said that he was almost as fine as Ranger. And he better be ‘cause that mustache wax hurt worse than the Brazilian.”
“Man, Don’t even mention Brazilian.” I moaned.
Mary Lou laughed as she joined us at the counter. “Still trying to repress the fact that your Mom got one?”
“I was.” I said giving her a death glare. “Until you just mentioned it.”
“Whoops!” Mary Lou said unapologetically. “I don’t know if it makes you feel any better. But it feels a little like I know that my mom just got ---you know what, I really won’t mention it again.”
Laughing we all headed to Macy’s after checking out. Lula found a cute little, and I mean little, black lace mini skirt and a pair of Steve Madden black patent leather pumps with an animal print platform and five inch red stiletto heel, these were some perfectly Lula shoes. Mary Lou decided to go for a pencil skirt with leather trim in black. It had a slit up the back that made it sexier on than I’d have thought. We found her a great pair of Marc Jacobs black suede peep toe pumps with a patent leather bow embellishment and a mesh cut out detail in the back.
Once again Connie and I faced a dilemma in the shoe department. She finally found a pair of Marc Fisher pumps in red suede. They had an almond toe and ankle strap. Then she found me a pair of great almond toe Mary Janes with a 51/2 inch heel and an 11/2 inch platform. They were dark brown patent leather, and had an amazing arch support. I could wear these shoes all night and then some. I dragged the girls to Claire’s and then back to Mr. Alexander’s. He gave me one hell of a cute faux-hawk that flowed back into a chic bun where he placed the Chinese looking hair sticks in my hair for me. Finally we all headed back to Haywood to get dressed.
The guys were getting dressed at the house, but they were kind enough to send Ella to us here. I love Ella. We had a great time and with her help we all looked fabulous. We did nails and Ella gave me a totally cool Asian look eye. She found fire engine red nail lacquer and lipstick for Connie and a nice deep warmer red for Lula. If I didn’t know better I’d swear that Brett and Manny had been relaying her the info on our apparel just so she could grab the right stuff on her way over. But by the time we were done, we had each tried to thank her at least a hundred times each.
“Girls, I had just as much fun as you did. You each look beautiful. I’m sure that the guys are going to swallow their tongues when they see you.” Ella told us was she herded us to the elevator. “Now have fun. Sorry but you are running a bit behind.”
Ram PoV
Before we could all go out tonight, I needed to have a talk with Tank. It was awkward but he is my boss…or at least my direct supervisor, but even more than that he’s one of the rare people whose opinion of me matters to me. “Tank, you busy?” I asked when I poked my head in his office before lunch.
“I could use a break. What do you need?” he responded.
“Umm…it’s about tonight.” I started, taking the seat he directed me to. “I’m supposed to go with you guys to dinner and out after. And I understand that Ms. Lula is coming along.”
Tank gave me a searching look. “Yes, she and Steph took the girls out for a special spa day. They even invited Abegaile but she had a dead line to meet. Why?”
I’m sure that I’m blushing like a nun in a whorehouse. “Well, I just. I’d like a chance to ask her out. And I know you’re happy with what you and the guys have going with Steph; but I value your friendship and respect you too much to go after Ms. Lula without, I don’t know, checking with you.”
Tank gave me a cocky smile. “So you like the lovely lady Lula?”
“Yeah, I kinda do.” I said with a grin of my own.
“Is her former profession gonna be a problem for you?” he asked seriously.
I thought about how to answer that. The truth is that if it weren’t for hookers I wouldn’t be here. My grandmother worked her way up from street level to become a Madame with her own house down in Baton Rouge. My mother had spent some years working in that house until she took it over. So no I don’t have any problem with the fact that she used to hook. Finally I simply said, “I’m proud of the fact that she got out and didn’t fall back in.” now that was the honest truth. My mama had gotten out once upon a time. Then she met and married my dad. But when that blew up, she went back to what she’d known her whole life.
“If it’s going to bother you…you need to leave her alone. She and I may not have worked out, but she’s a good woman, and I do care about her. I don’t want to see her hurt. And Stephanie will kill you if you hurt her or worse-just make you wish you were dead.” He advised.
“It’s not going to bother me.” I said calmly. Though the thought of Bombshell actively trying to do me harm made me a bit queasy.
“Okay then, go for it.” he finally said giving me a genuine smile. I stood and Tank came around the desk to give me a brotherly hug. “You know if you and Lula work out….you’re never gonna get rid of us.” He teased.
“Man, Tank, I’m a 20 year Marine. You guys let me kick ass, help people every day, and nobody cares that I’m half antisocial.” I said with a little bit of snark. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” I finished, a bit of the Louisiana creeping back into my voice.
I left that office and headed back to my apartment on four. I had several tailored suits, every Rangeman does for event security in the higher end homes. But I couldn’t find a tie that I thought Lula would like. All of mine are very subdued and reserved. Since Woody and Junior were meeting Abegaile tonight, I dragged them with me to Joseph A Banks. I hate the mall with a fiery passion, so I much prefer to shop at somewhere that caters to men. I was able to find a charcoal shirt, and a tie that was burgundy on claret, according to the tag, in a bold paisley print. I would pair those with my dark grey suit and be good. Woody and Junior chose less bold patterned ties, and more traditional colored shirts. Woody’s shirt was barely cream and Junior’s was a grey so light it was almost white. Woody’s tie was killer. I almost wish I’d seen it first. It was a solid deep wine colored Windsor tie. Junior had gone for a purple paisley tie with subtle but bolder then the background paisley diamond thingies on it. It was nice, and would play well with the shirt he found. Over all we were happy when we made it back to finish the day shift.
But now that I’m here in the garage waiting with the JLS, Lenny, Guilermo and Abegaile and her choices, I’m a jumpy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I think we all start when the elevator opens. Bombshell comes out looking quite pretty in a sexy version of a Cheongsam. She is followed by her friend Mary Lou. Lenny draws in such a deep breath he chokes on it. She does look nice. A little matronly for me, but what do I know. Connie steps out and a quick glance over at Guilermo tells me he pretty much just swallowed his tongue. I can say though that if I were a smaller guy, he’d have a fight on his hands. Finally Ms. Lula steps out and she is looking hot. Her hair has red streaks, I’m pretty sure they are the fake ones you put in and take back out later, cause her hair was just dark, dark brown when I saw her yesterday. But she is wearing a red top that looks like it ties on a little tiny lace mini skirt that shows off legs that would look damn fine over my shoulders. And some shoes that I’d let her keep on all damn night.
I can’t help but walk over and give her my arm. “You carriage awaits.” I said suavely as I led her over to the limo Ranger had supplied for the night.
Stephanie PoV
I’m starting to think that Connie and Lula are right and Ranger is a wizard. He found a Humvee Limo in shiny black that seated all sixteen of us comfortably, and he reserved us a private dining room at Malaga’s a Spanish Restaurant in the heart of the financial district. Within the room, the restaurant provided a huge family style meal that was a blend of Spanish and Cuban cuisine. We were all able to taste and eat to our hearts content and the sangria flowed freely. The food was amazing. Every time I turned around Tank, or Bobby or Cal and Hal were placing some new and tantalizing morsel in my mouth. Ranger and Lester both made sure I tried all the Cuban foods and Hector even found a Mexican inspired dish for me to sample. I looked around and Guilermo and Connie were talking animatedly. Ram and Lula were sitting close together, and Abegaile was being regaled with stories by Woody and Manny. Junior unfortunately already seemed to be out of the running, but our waitress seemed very ready to console him.
When we’d eaten our fill, we piled back into the limo and were transported to a club called Conduit that was really two clubs in one. We entered Planet Havana without having to wait in the line; in fact the bouncer was wearing a Rangeman shirt. However before we could make our way to the bar or the dance floor, all of our cell phones and pagers began to blare. Mary Alice was missing.
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