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Tears of the Phoenix	By : serialcabbit78 Category: S through Z > Valdemar Series Views: 1397 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY of the rights to the Valdemar Series, those all belong to Mercedes Lackey, who has given me the inspiration. I make no profit from this or any writing.

Chapter List
- 15
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Stefen heard a muffled sob pierce through his dreams and shook himself awake. He sat up in bed wondering what exactly had caused the sound, or who had caused it.   He heard it again, and flung the curtains on his bed open and got up. He pulled his robe off the hook by his headboard and put it on. He looked around the room when a scream pierced the night. He ran to Luna’s bed and flung open the curtains to find the girl tangled in her bedding.

Luna struggled against something that had her pinned and her hands bound. She struggled against the bonds that seemed to tighten as she fought against them. She struggled again and cried out. Pain ripped into the tender places between her legs and she couldn’t move to get away. Worst of all, she couldn’t see at all. Her face felt swollen, painful and something covered her eyes.

Stefen grabbed for the blanket at the foot of the bed and began to pull. Slowly, he eased the heavy covers away from her body. Her sheet was wrapped tightly around her and he couldn’t pull it free. It had one arm pinned to her side, the other pinned against her chest. He knew if he touched her, it could only make her nightmare worse. After a few moments internal debate, he snatched her lute from beside her desk and began to play. He sang, very softly, lest the sound of voices frightened her more.

‘You are safe, you are among friends, please wake up and come back to me my little moonlight’ He thought as he sang. He rarely ever referred to her by the little nickname, but tonight it seemed appropriate. He watched as she began to relax, then slowly woke up.

Moonlight illuminated the room through the slight gaps in the curtains. Luna saw Stefen stood by her bed, softly playing music. She tilted her head to the side, trying to figure out why he didn’t just shake her awake. She remembered the nightmare of course, though the last time had been moons ago, right before she started sleeping in her own bed again. Stefen had simply shaken her awake then. She sat up and tried to untangle herself from the sheets.
“Why didn’t you just shake me?” She asked, stifling a yawn with her hand. “You shook me before.”

“This seemed different than last time.” He said as he finished the cord he was playing and set the lute aside. “You were so tightly wrapped in your sheet that if I touched you it could have thrown you into a worse terror.”

Luna shifted as she finally unwound the sheets from her body then froze in shock. She pulled her hand up, and saw something shown wetly from her hand. She was a little sweaty from the dream, but surely that is all. She eased from the bed and cringed as her gown dripped. Stefen stopped her from burying her face in her hands as Kasie dashed into the room. She took one look from Stefen to Luna, then went to strip the bed.

“Luna, it’s alright. We’ll change your linens and you can sleep next to Stef for now.” She carried the soiled linens from the room as Luna burst into tears.

“Come on, let’s go clean up, little one.” Stefen led her into the tiny room that held the shower and privy and pulled her gown off and pushed her into the cubicle. “Clean up some while I get you something fresh.”

Stefen couldn’t blame Luna for being upset. She’d had plenty of nightmares before, but this was the very first time she’d wet herself in the midst of one. She hadn’t had very many over the past few moons and most had been when she slept next to him. He’d been able to wake her with a gentle shake, and generally he caught them before she began tossing around in the covers. He got her a clean shift and night gown and carried them into the room. She was stepping out of the shower and took a towel to dry off with. She took the clothes and dressed again.

“Maybe you should see if they can get me diapers like a baby.” She said tartly, then began sobbing again.

“Why? Sweetheart it was a nightmare of something terribly traumatic. I’m surprised more that this is the only time it’s happened. You’re not a baby, you are a very brave and strong young woman.” Stefen pulled Luna into a tight embrace. “You know none of us will think of you as anything less than that.”

“But it’s not fair to you that I keep sleeping next to you, like some child or something. I mean I know you want to have your privacy too.” She leaned into the embrace as she sobbed.

Stefen led Luna to ‘her’ side of his bed. In the years since Vanyel, he’d rarely taken a lover. There were times he did, but they were few and far between. However after becoming a mentor, he put that on hold. He and Thad had talked about romantic encounters, and the lad quite understood about why Stef wanted to wait until he got his whites. True, the only times that he’d shared sleeping spaces with Luna before she was raped was only when they had been coming to Haven. It hadn’t really been an issue, and the only reason he had put her in his bed after that was it was closer to the privy. He didn’t want her to have to move around more than necessary.
“You know that’s not an issue with either of us. I know you think it’s not fair to me, but honestly Luna, I’m fine with it. I know you are still recovering and it can take a very long time for you to feel safe being alone again.” He led her to the bed and tucked her under the covers. “It may well be when we’re both old and grey, you will always be my little one. If you were to choose to sleep by me even then, you would never be unwelcome.”

“I’m serious though, I want to be strong, but it’s like every time I think I’ve faced it down it comes back again to knock me in another direction. I don’t want to feel like I have to depend on someone to keep me from going mad.” Luna said and watched as Stefen joined her in the bed. “I can’t go without sleep either.”

“No, we can talk to the healers if this keeps up. I know it’ has been quite a while since you had one, was it new memories, or the same old ones?” Stefen scooted closer to Luna and took her hand. “You have been overly busy here of late, and it simply could have been that you’ve overdone yourself.”

“It was the same memories.   I’ve been doing so much lately, and we had that little crisis that needed several Heralds and trainees to work on. I don’t think I got much sleep until we got back here. It’s been nearly a year since it happened, but sometimes when those nightmares take me back, as if it just happened.”

She lay back into the pillows, allowing him to pull her close. She and several trainees had gone south towards Rethwellen to handle something that still had her puzzled. Two villages had been feuding and it had gotten to the point when one village burned the crops of the others. Luna had discovered that her gift with plants tied nicely in with her Bardic Gift and she was able to revive most of the crops. The villagers had been able to put out the fire before they lost too much, but it would set them back and force them to purchase from neighboring villages.   Several Heralds would be staying there in both villages to keep the situation from degrading even more.

It had been quite rough. Thankfully, the nightmares stayed away while she’d been gone. She hated watching children starving and she would frequently slip away into uninhabited areas to forage for fruits and nuts, encouraging the plants she encountered to give her enough food so that not only the children had more than enough to eat, the adults did as well. It was stressful for all that had gone, but they finally got to the root of what set off the feud. The Heralds who stayed behind could handle that and aid in the peace. There was enough war going on outside and on other borders to have it happening with their own countrymen.

Somehow in the midst of her thoughts, Luna fell asleep again.

Stefen had prayed that the nightmares wouldn’t bother Luna any more, but sometimes prayers go unanswered. For the next few weeks, Luna alternated between having nightmares that had her screaming half the night to crying for days. Both he and Luna were so worn out they literally could fall asleep standing on their feet.

“I seriously think this is a bit more than our mind healers can handle.” Kathlee sighed. “She needs more help, like she had before she got here.”

“I was afraid of that.” Stefen sighed. “I’ll have a talk with Trey and see if he can contact his friends for me.”

Kathlee sat on the couch in the suite that Stefen and Luna still shared with Trey and Kasie. Michael had moved into another set of rooms to be a mentor and Thad had gotten his whites and was on his own circuit after his internship. Herald Isa paced by the fireplace then snapped her fingers.

“I think I have it. The only thing keeping both Trey and Luna out of their whites is their age. We can do an extended internship. Because of Lord Withen, Luna’s home base is now Forst Reach, even though she’s never been there. We can have her go through there up into the outlying areas.” Isa said. She looked at the dog that lay on the floor by the seat she’d been sitting in. “I think Corden and Rhoda can help us get messages where they need to go.”

“Anything to help her, we can’t keep trying to push the memories aside. From what I’ve seen in her memories, they’re coming back and in fuller detail. She doesn’t know how to tell exactly what’s bothering her because when she’s awake, she’s not exactly sure what she dreamed.” Kathlee said. “I think going out for her internship would work as a cover, though I’m not sure how we’ll explain Stefen going as well.”

“Easy, I go to spread my songs. Not only that, since only Treven and Jisa and a few Senior Heralds will know the true reason, they know it’s for moral support.” Stefen said. “To avoid that, I can leave two weeks early and meet up with you outside of Forst Reach. Only Lord Withen would need to know to send on word.”

“Now that’s a good idea.” Kathlee said. “Well, I’m going to take myself on out of here, let me know when you all are ready to ride out and I’ll send along something to help her sleep. It should take a couple moons for you to get out that way.”

The dog watched as the Healer left the room and shook it’s head. The illusion dropped away and Stefen realized with a shock that it was Kawe. He looked to Isa for several seconds then they both left the rooms. Stefen waited for Luna to return to their rooms, as she was out riding Surya with Trey and Corden. They were indeed ready for this next step in their training, though Luna may be one of the youngest to get into whites. To say she wouldn’t ever be the youngest would be a stretch, but with Heralds you never know.

The fact that he’d seen Isa with what looked like a large dog, one that incredibly turned out to be a Kyree in disguise said something to the magnitude of Luna’s distress and he wasn’t entirely sure that something hadn’t happened to the girl on the road. It could have simply have been the stress of what they’d had been working on though. The girl was a fairly strong Empath, and unless she was unconscious she picked up on things unless she was shielded.

The two came in chatting about some place in the Companion’s Field that Luna had been to several times. Sometimes it seemed when she had visited that place, her nightmares stayed away. He had an idea.

“Luna, would you take it amiss if I suggested you sleep in that little area you said Surya took you to?” Stefen looked at her and smiled. “If you are afraid, I can sleep out there with you.”

“Surya suggested it, but I didn’t want to be out there alone. Trey said he could spend one night with me, to see if it helped the nightmares to stay away.” Luna cast the young man a speculative glance. “I’d rather have you.”

“I told you I wouldn’t be offended if you preferred him. Hell, Luna after what you’ve been through I understand. You wouldn’t be alone with me though, you’d have Corden and Surya.” Trey said with a chuckle. “Though I understand those two are getting a little bit chummy.”

Stefen blinked. He wondered if the fact her Companion was trysting with Corden, the emotional effects had affected Luna. It wasn’t a crazy thought, as the arousal from her attacker would have felt though her Empathy. With Surya sensing that Luna was easing out of the nightmares, she’d feel up to courting the stallion and it was possible.

:Not likely, Stef. I’m very careful to shield it from her so nothing leaks. Trust me, I’ve wondered myself. I agree with the healers, there is something that’s triggering that they cannot find, so it’s off to the Vale for us. Kawe is on his way there now.:   Surya rarely spoke to Stefen, and often it was only when she felt he needed to know something. There were times she could wake Stefen before Luna’s nightmares got bad. :Starwind says for me to talk an unpartnered Companion to take you. I have someone in mind that would be willing, as there is a young one in Tashir’s lands that could be ready on our return trip.:

Stefen’s eyes widened in shock, apparently when the Companions wanted things done, things moved fast. He also knew that with them consenting to carry him, they had to make all due haste. It wasn’t like he’d never ridden a Companion moving at gut wrenching speeds. He handled it then, barely, he could handle it now.

“I think instead of packing to spend the night, we need to pack to leave within the next couple days. Isa has gone to see if they are ready to start your internships, as they will be long track, two years at the most.” Stefen started when running footsteps sounded in the hallway and the door burst open with both Isabeth and Tantras coming in.

“There is a situation outside of Lineas-Baires, we’re not sure how far. Herald Isabeth will be taking you to start your Internship the day after tomorrow. That should give Herald Isabeth to get you two in to order your supplies. Given it’s summer now, you’ll have mules. Be careful on what to pack, if you have any questions, you can talk to Isa or Stefen, as they know the sort of thing to take along with you.” Tantras said. “Stefen, the Companion Evanna has agreed to carry you, she has an idea there’s someone up that way who may be chosen. This shouldn’t take either of you more than half a year.”

“I can get their uniforms lined out, will they be getting Whites to go in or their normal grays. I can go order those, as I know they’ve had sets ready for them for a week or two now.” Stefen said, getting to his feet. “Isa take them to get the stuff ordered.”

“Their Whites will be delivered in the morning. Herald Tashir feels with this happening outside his boarders, we need to keep an eye on it.” Tantras said, then nodded to them and stepped out.

:This situation is real, and isn’t too far outside of k’Treva’s territory. We didn’t expect it to explode so soon, but Tashir has it in hand for now. Evanna will be delighted to carry you, and it gives her the chance to observe the girl before choosing.: Surya chuckled warmly. :We need not make an excuse because as a Master Bard, you can help with soothing the tempers.:

Isa gave Stefen an odd look. She noticed that there had been times Surya spoke to Stefen, and she figured it was more due to the fact Stefen had been key in helping Luna recover from the incident that happened last year.

“Well, we were just notified of things going bad up there. Since I’m here, and have ties to the Kyree, that will get us up that way. They’re giving us some time to work on the situation and take Luna to those healers.” Isa said. “We need to take you two to show you where you order your road gear.”

Isa ushered the two youngsters out leaving Stefen to go gather Luna’s packs. He remembered all too well the night he packed to leave with Vanyel. Luna had already been taken to select a new suite to be ready when she got her whites. She’d chosen a rather nice suite with two bedrooms and a sitting room. Not many of the Herald suites had two bedrooms, but they were for who might have had minor children. They allowed her to chose it because she’d still need an older mentor with her until she reached eighteen. Stefen knew she’d probably elect to keep him with her, even after she came of age.

He began to sort her sleeping gowns and robe and clothes she would use to lounge around in. Since her whites would be coming, he would pack what she’d need of those. It was early summer now, but they could be out past winter. He didn’t know what sort of weather to expect so he made sure she had what she might need. He hurried through packing his own gear, summer and winter changes of both then wrote out a note saying he was going to visit with a few friends before they finished up the packing tomorrow.

Luna came back to her room later to find her bed covered with folded white garments. She picked one up with wonder. She grabbed her new robe and dashed to the bathing room to wash up. She hurried through her bath and dashed back into her room to don the new outfit. She was looking at herself in the mirror when a tap came from the open door.

“You keep prancing like that and someone’s gonna herd you off to the stables thinking you are a Companion.” Kasie’s chuckle floated into the room. “Girl, you ain’t even fifteen yet, and you look amazing. Where’s Stef?”

“Nah, she looks like a snow bird. She’s pretty enough to be one.” Anya stepped into the room with Kasie. She picked up a folded note and handed it to Luna. “Well he can’t be too far, he left her a note.”

“I wasn’t expecting this. I thought they’d have me start my Journeymen level with Bardic, but I guess duty calls.” Luna said as she read the note. “He went to say farewell to some of his friends.”

“I wouldn’t wait up for him, then.” Anya chuckled. “Poor guy probably thinks he won’t meet anyone while traveling.”

“Well, Medren is in for a bit, so I guess he went to see him. Just because he went to visit friends don’t mean he’s doing you know what.” Luna laughed. “Just where did you get those filthy thoughts anyway?”

“Girl, just because you haven’t found someone doesn’t mean you never will. You know I never expected to find someone myself.” Kasie said. “Maybe getting away from here and getting your mind off things will help.”

Luna looked at the empty packs on her bed and shook her head. She had a few ideas on how she should pack, though the last time she’d gone away, Stef had done her packing for her. She began to sort through the items, storing some in packs.

“I would leave at least one set here. Kasie and I will pack what you don’t take with you and move it to your new rooms.” Anya said. “Take only the whites, though. Since they gave them to you early, that’s what you’ll be wearing.”

Anya and Kasie looked through the pack Stefen had already done and set it aside. They opened another to find various things she’d need for her Companion. They sat that one aside and helped her pack away the outfits.

“I think they’ll be giving you mules, and there will be four of those, so they can distribute the weight much better than if you were going out with just one Herald.” Anya said. “I’d take your instruments with you. Stefen will want to play in places and having a few choices on what you accompany him with will be good.”

“I know, but I would feel bad if something happened to that gittern.” Luna said as she opened her lute case and detuned the strings. “I know he’ll want me to take it though.”

“You can strap this to the pillion on Surya and carry the gittern on your back. It’s got a hard case so it should be just fine.” Kasie said. “I can’t believe our little one has grown up so fine.”

“Sometimes I don’t feel so grown up. Sometimes I feel like a frightened child who has to crawl into bed with her parents over a nightmare.” Luna sat heavily on the bed. “I wasn’t expecting to go out like this so soon. I guess we all have to have our trial by fire though. The only thing that kept me out of Whites then was my age.”

“Well, you were the hero of that particular mission from what I hear. It was you who saved the crops with that gift of yours.” Anya said as she sat next to Luna on the bed. “You were already well on your way to controlling your gifts when you got here so you really didn’t need all the basics some of us have had to do. Most of your classes were in history and law along with the Bardic Training.”

“None of us feel ready when we get our Whites. I’m sure Stefen can tell you himself, when he was made Master, he didn’t feel ready either.” Kasie sat to Luna’s other side. “There is one thing you should do though.”

Luna looked at Kasie as if she’d sprouted wings and started squawking. She couldn’t figure out why the girl was telling her she should do this one thing. Kasie reached around her and took the little mask off the wall over her bed and handed it to Luna.

“Make sure you hang that on your gittern case. It’s interesting, that little thing. When you got here it was as green as the grass it was woven from, but now it looks as if it was made of same feathers that hang from it. May I ask where you got that?” Kasie looked at it in Luna’s hand. “It is very beautiful.”

“Before I left the Sorrows, there was a little boy in our village named Cody. His parents were killed when I ran away and he somehow found his way to where Stefen and I were camping. Apparently some friends of Vanyel’s were coming to pay their respects, as they had in years past, and instead of going to the place they did, they came to us. They adopted Cody as their own son.” Luna closed her eyes, trying to think on why the tiny mask had turned white and looked like feathers. “This was something they made for me when I gave them locks from Surya’s mane.”

“I know what that is, Kasie. Treyvor can tell you as well, as it is something from the clan who holds protections over his village.” Anya said and smiled. “Maybe you’ll get a chance to go visit them.”

The memory flashed clear in Luna’s mind. Surya had been laying with Starwind when he and Moondance had finished with the mask and hung the feathers from it.   She could only visit them after this took on the look of the feathers.

:I would have told you it was time. There is truly an urgent matter not too far of Tashir’s lands, but I think that given what’s happening with you, a little visit with your little brother and his fathers would do you some good. Trey’s been getting much better at his long range Farspeech, and has been conversing with Brightstar. He’s told them a good deal of what happened to you.: Surya said. :Stefen is going at their request, and Evanna is carrying him because it will help us travel much faster.:

Tears welled up in Luna’s eyes. It had been only three years since she’d left the forest, but it had certainly felt like a lifetime had passed. She’d been so caught up in everything going on with her and around her that time took on no meaning. She touched the mask delicately as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“You want to see them again, your friends, that is?” Kasie asked. “They know you’ll always carry them with you in your heart.”

“I do and I’ve thought of them often. It may be a good thing if I can, as they helped me with things after I escaped some trouble in my village. Cody should have not come into his powers when he did, and they think it happened because several young girls were taken to be made wives.” Luna sighed. “I think I will tell you what happened to me before I was chosen.”

Luna held the mask in her hands and looked at it fondly. She told of the night she escaped into the forest after having been beaten and having seen several of the girls in her village being raped. She told of how strange things happened and she was able to use the distraction to flee into the forest before being overcome by the injuries she’d sustained.
“I woke up the next morning on a soft pallet covered with a cloak much like this one.” Luna said as she held up her new cloak. “With the exception of the lump on my head and this scar on my arm, all my injuries had been healed. I owe my very life to Vanyel, for without him I may have not survived.”

“Maybe what happened last year triggered some of those old memories. It could be the combination of that trauma and what happened before you were chosen are combining.” Kasie said gently. “The only thing we can do is to help people like you though. We can’t stop it from happening from anyone.”

“No, we can’t, Kasie. Even though my village was inside the Sorrows, Vanyel didn’t do much until the bad ones actually left to go hurt others. Though the morning after Surya came for me, there was a terrible storm that destroyed most of the village. All the men who had been part of the ones who caused the most problems died along with their wives and children.   It was no major loss as most of the girls who died had been completely corrupted.” Luna hung the mask on her gittern case, making sure the clasp was firmly latched.

“Corrupted how?” Kasie asked. “I get that they would have been damaged, but how?”

“Well, you know I can sense certain things. Sometimes, what I can sense is quite accurate, though sometimes I can be a little off. Like with you, Kasie. I had no idea you were at all Shay’a’chern. I knew Anya was though. With Cody, I could sense there was something special about him, but I couldn’t figure out why. Part of it was due to the fact that he’s like you, Thad and Stef, but there was something I couldn’t exactly figure out. When I met my friends, I realized what it was. Cody would be a Mage. I’m sure that had that been detected earlier, they would have killed him.” Luna said. “Because there are no Herald-Mages, he probably would never have been chosen as that was his primary Gift.”

“So you mean the people that tried to take over your village were mages?” Kasie asked her dark eyes wide. “Oh, so I get it now.”

“Apparently, they did some very nasty magic within the village and well, as some have pointed out, they made themselves a rather juicy target for Vanyel to hit.” Luna said grimly. “Fortunately most of the village did survive intact, but I think that with our help, they can recover.”

Stefen came back into the room while the girls were talking. He just stood for several moments, quietly listening. He noticed the packs set aside and started to stack his with them. He still didn’t understand how things moved so fast, but then again, though he stayed current on most things, political dealings weren’t exactly what he kept on. Though he had a feeling that even though this situation was quite real and volatile, they were using it as a dodge to get Luna out of the city with as few questions as possible.

“I see you’ve gotten your stuff packed and just the essentials at that.” Stefen said. “You look wonderful, Luna. My little one is so grown up.”

Luna set her gittern case with the packs and got up to show off her uniform. She could see tears in Stefen’s eyes and pride showing in the bright green depths. He hadn’t expected her to get her whites this soon, and it felt unreal. He knew she was ready, even if she was still quite young.   Isabeth was handling the where they would be going side of this, and he was quite sure that he would only be along for part of it. He decided to take Mel along with them as an extra pack carrier and leave her at Forst Reach.

He hugged Luna tightly and smiled at her.   He admired the way the uniform was fitted to her body. She was still slightly shorter than he was, but she’d grown into gentle curves. She was growing into a lovely woman. Her silvery blonde hair hung down to her mid back, and today she’d worn it an intricate braid. The new uniform did give her a more mature look, despite her young age. Most of what she needed now would be field experience, and she couldn’t have that in the grey uniforms.

“Thank you Stefen. I feel like someone dropped my laundry in a bleach vat, it doesn’t feel real yet.” Luna giggled. “I guess it just takes getting used to.”
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Tears of the Phoenix