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Tears of the Phoenix	By : serialcabbit78 Category: S through Z > Valdemar Series Views: 1397 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY of the rights to the Valdemar Series, those all belong to Mercedes Lackey, who has given me the inspiration. I make no profit from this or any writing.

Chapter List
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Luna took a drink from her water skin and wiped sweat from her face with her hand. She watched the road for some kind of shelter.   They shouldn’t be too far from Lineas-Baires according to the map they’d checked before leaving Forst Reach this morning. She could feel a vague sense of something that seemed just out of range of her senses.   The Companions were travelling at a fairly sedate pace, and their mules seemed to be rather content.

“So what do we know of this situation? I mean besides the damage to their crops and the normal squabbles between the residents?” Trey asked Isabeth.

“Well, from what Baron Tashir has been able to find out, some traveler sold some of the farmers amulets that were supposed to boost their crops. It wasn’t until he was long gone that the crops seemed to start wilting and the fighting started.” Isa sighed. “This would be a fantastic time to have a mage with us. Given it is legally well outside of the bounds of Tashir’s lands he didn’t feel right about not helping. He asked for a Herald to see if we could find something as his gifts are not exactly suited to helping.”

That was the simple way to put it. Luna thought over what Isa had told them and it had a rather ugly and familiar feel. Margaret had told her that was how things started in her village. It was only when those men came back that the crops began to recover any. The fighting also mysteriously began to die down. From the things she learned from Vanyel, any mage who was not also a Herald would not feel comfortable within Valdemar, but this land like her village weren’t exactly part of the country.

“So, with this land, it’s outside of the areas held in protection of the Tayledras and outside of Valdemar. How is it they haven’t noticed what’s going on?” Luna asked.

“The Pelegirs, Luna. There is a lot of land there that is so damaged by the Mage Wars that sometimes small taints are not as obvious as the larger. The Tayledras try to purify as much as they can and heal the lands so humans can live there. If they haven’t noticed it, it could mean there is far more trouble.” Trey said grimly. “I know this village and the lands around it were purified ages ago and was recovered enough that they no longer needed the protections of the Tayledras. That was long before Vanyel ever came to k’Treva.”

That made sense. From some of the things they’d learned in history classes, Vanyel had discovered that there had been an active artifact from the Tayledras working on healing a rift deep within the earth. A family scandal had nearly destroyed both the lands of Linaes and Baires due to someone wanting to control that power held in Tashir’s family. Tashir’s entire family had been murdered by his uncle, though magical means and it was only his gift that saved him. He was indeed lucky that Vanyel had opted to sleep with his Companion that night.

:You know he almost died when he figured out what was happening. He’d gone into the town as a poor minstrel to scout out information; then he and Savil along with Tashir’s Lord Marshal and the boy came back to the palace. He gated them out and barely made it out himself, only to be stabbed by his father’s priest.: Surya said to Luna. :We think that he was given the option to move on or stay then. We all know he stayed, but I wouldn’t want to know the things he never shared with others.:

:I can only imagine. He seemed okay with his choice to protect us all. I think he knew that without Herald-Mages to protect us, we would be a rather juicy place for evil to exploit. They want to send us on this mission under the guise of an Internship because of Trey’s ties to k’Treva, right?: Luna asked Surya. :This may be out of our area of expertise. I see Kawe has joined us.:

The Companions broke into a run, leaving Stefen behind with the mules. On the horizon, they could see the gates to a city. They sped towards the city as if being propelled by an invisible force. This is when Luna realized how much of a blessing it was to have Stefen along. Even though he rode a Companion, if they needed to use speed to get somewhere, then they could and let him catch up with them at a pace more suited to the mules.   They made it to the gates of the city in a short time and Isa began to tell the guards who she was. A messenger was sent off at a run. Isa turned back to the younger Heralds.

“They’re going to get us an escort to take us to Baron Tashir. He’s sent up some supplies to them, but it seems their crops are close to failing.” Isa sighed. “We may have to travel with all due speed and take only what is needed most.”

Stefen caught up with them about the time their escort arrived. They traveled through the city as a strange parade.   Luna noticed a slight aura to the city, as if something were still at work deep beneath the ground despite the destruction that happened here over a decade before.   She thought that maybe there had been help to keep the healing spells intact after the destruction of the castle. There had been an earthquake here, but it was relatively minor compared to what could have happened. She could see the aftereffects of the disaster, but everything had been repaired and the ruins of the castle were still visible.

Once they reached the Baron’s home, they were lead to the stables where they dismounted and began to groom the Companions. The hands around them began to take their packs off the mules and stacked them in a storage room that could be locked. They looked at each other, wondering exactly what was happening. One of the hands spoke up.

“Your pardon, Heralds, Tashir has asked us to stable your mules and send you on with only what the Companions can carry. He wants you to stay until the morning.” The girl went back to tending to the mules.

Other servants arrived and took the packs Isa directed them to take. They shouldered a few of their own and followed them into the building. They were directed to a suite of rooms that held three bedrooms, a bathing room and a sitting room. Other servants came into the room and began laying out trays of food.

“You get your bath first, Isa. You’re the senior Herald, so you go first. The young ones can go after, and I’ll go last.” Stefen said. “I’ll help them get settled into rooms.”

Isa looked into each of the rooms and saw they all held only one bed. The beds were fairly large and two could fit in one when needed. She sighed and opened the door to the bating room. There were two tubs, fed by large copper boilers. She smiled and turned to the others.

“Luna and I will get our baths first, then you two can get yours. Stefen, I think it would be best though if Luna shared with you and Trey and I will take the other two rooms.” She said.

They went about getting cleaned up and into fresh uniforms before they set down to eat the food that had been brought. They’d ridden most of the day to get here without stopping. The sun began to set when a knock sounded on the door. Isa went to it and a man stepped into the room, dressed in Whites.

“I am Herald Tashir, Baron of the March of Lineas-Baires. Thank you sisters and brother for coming to help. Herald Isa, I hear that you have treaties with some of the Kyree clans.   I hope they can reach out to the other clans to see if they can help. It seems the same traveler came through here, trying to sell his wares. I say tried as someone caught the feel of magic on him and well… he’s dead.” Tashir said bluntly. “Herald Luna, I hear that you have a rather extraordinary gift. I think it can help the people and maybe they can get their crops back on schedule. That is if we can find the talismans that they were sold.”

“So you’re sure it’s something magical? How is it that they got past the safeguards?” Isa mused. “Those things shouldn’t be here.”

“That is the big question. My idea is to have Stefen go in ahead of you. The Companion who has consented carry him can get a grasp of the situation. If you have brought your other uniform with you, Luna, you can pass as his apprentice.” Tashir sat down at the table with them. “I know the Companions can alter their looks if need be. I think the guise of a wandering Bard would be better, as Luna is a full Herald, not many know of her other talents.”

Luna thought this over. With her and Stefen entering first, she could get a good feel of the situation and have Surya send it back to Trey. Her being Stefen’s ‘apprentice’ she could find ways to talk to the children without the adults taking notice too much because of her age. This would get vital information out not only to Trey, but because of his range, he could relay that to the Tayledras and see if they had any ideas to handle the situation.

“That may be the best idea. They may not take to Heralds riding in directly, and being dual trained, I can observe as both a Herald and a Bard.   Surya and I can get information out and ease the tension for Isa and Trey.” Luna said carefully.   “Is it just ruined crops and discontent?”

“I think, as does my Lord Marshal that the discontent is due to the crops. We have been sending in a trickle of food in, as have a few villages to the north and it seems things calm. We cannot sustain them through the winter though.” Tashir said. “I hope with this being only midsummer that Luna can help them. I heard about what you did in the south with the burned fields, so maybe when they realize you are that Herald, it could ease the discontent more.”

“Well, I haven’t really talked about this with very many. Only King Treven and a select few know the truth about what happened in my village. According to our Wise Woman, it all started like what you’ve told us. Except for those who sold the talisman came back once the crops were failing and people were arguing over food. They were able to negotiate the rights to stay and things started looking up.   However, what they didn’t know at the time is these people wanted to control us. They slowly took over to the point that half the village were complete sheep to their will. Any child with any sort of Gift was killed. There were three they were unable to bend or break. My friend, Herald Thad was driven out when he turned ten due to some viewing him as perverted and too unclean to even kill. My own parents turned me out and for a long time I thought it was due to the fact they wanted sons, but I know now that it was because I had very unique gifts. The third, they killed his birth parents, but he found a new family. As we have no more Herald-Mages, he would have no one to train him, so he went to those who trained Herald Vanyel.” Luna looked at her hands. “Most of the girls were given over to be brides by the age of thirteen. If they thought that we would have useful Gifts, usually they took us much younger. They tried to take me when I was eleven. The little boy with the Mage Gift, his powers woke extremely early and somehow it caused confusion and I escaped.”

“How did you survive? The Sorrows is not a place for children to wander unattended.” Tashir gasped. “I’ve heard some very strange stories about that place.”

Luna favored Tashir with a warm smile. “I’m sure you have heard that those strange stories started the night Vanyel died. His spirit guards that forest. The only bad things I saw happen were to those who deserved it. There are those who know him better than I do, but they knew him when he was alive. You know he’d never allow an innocent come to harm if he could prevent it. Isn’t that why you hold your position?”

Tashir sat back in his chair, a very stunned expression on his face. True that he had heard the stories of bandits, barbarians and rogue mages being found dead within the forest. Children could traverse from one end to the other and never come to harm. It was also true that if it hadn’t been for Vanyel, there would have been a major war in these lands. He also knew some about the Tayledras, as they had restored the Heartstone, even with the destruction of the castle.

“That is true, Luna. He truly was a very unique person. When I first met him, I am afraid I was a bit of a brat. He told me of his first love, who looked a lot like me. He was in so much pain that I don’t think that he gave himself the time to grieve. He took up training, then working as a Herald, and I think he tried to stay busy so he wouldn’t think about what happened.” Tashir’s voice became quiet. “But I think after he and I had talked, he felt better. Sometimes everyone needs an external focus to talk to. Even if that person is a stranger, they can give you a perspective you don’t often see yourself.”

Luna smiled to herself. She knew more about Tashir than she would let on. Vanyel often told her stories during her lonely hours in the forest.   He’d told her about the night he’d had the long talk Tashir was referring to. Luna suspected that Tashir was indeed right, but she couldn’t blame him. She had watched Stefen wear himself down to a mere thread a few times over the past couple of years, and it had to do with how much he missed his love. Both had so much in common though. They both had duties that held them to life until those duties ultimately called them on.

She also thought on the past year. She had spoken with the healers at length and with Queen Jisa about what happened to her. She had talked to Stefen and had spent long hours crying on him as she still could never figure out exactly why the boy had targeted her. Right now she could use the distraction of this mission and having the ability to help others made her feel so much better.

“I think you are right, Tashir. There were many times Vanyel and I talked about things and sometimes it helped him to have a fresh perspective. I help the Trainees that were assigned to me with that, too.” Stefen smiled.

Trey noticed that Luna seemed rather lost in thought tonight. She’d been quiet the past few weeks, and he understood she’d been having some rather bad nightmares. Though most knew of her friendship with Stefen, they’d put the girl in a room by herself last night and she’s spent most of the night screaming.   Isa had gone to wake up Stefen and when he got her calmed, no one prevented him from staying the rest of the night with her.

“I think I’m going to sort what I need to take with me for the morning. Thank you for hosting us, Baron Tashir.” Luna politely excused herself and went into the room she’d be sharing with Stefen.

Tashir watched the girl leave the table. She looked rather young, and he’d heard other stories about her. He knew she’d been chosen at age eleven and had a few rough patches during her first year of training. He’d heard the rumors that had been spread by a few of the Lords and that things had gone all wrong and both of them were now in prison, working their lives away with hard labor.

“How is she recovering? We’ve heard the news up here, and I can’t fault King Treven for what he did with them, but even execution would have been far too kind.” Tashir said with venom in his voice. “Jacobi’s eldest son seems to have far more brains than his father or brother. Their family was very angry at what happened. If Lord Within hadn’t already taken her into his family, he would have.”

“This we know.” Stefen sighed. “Lord Alan is a kind young man. He couldn’t take his father’s seat though, not with him being the eldest and his father stripped of all titles. The lands and titles all went to him, and from what I understand, both families have deemed both Jacobi and Downly dead. With Downly.. The pompous arse seems to think he only should be known by his surname.”

“She’s not recovering well, is she?” Tashir persisted.

“She seems alright at times, but when she gets stressed she has nightmares. When she has duties to think of, sometimes she holds them off, but I just don’t know. I know the after effects of rape can last for years.” Stefen sighed and looked at the closed door. “I want to take it all away, the memories and the pain. I want to erase it but I can’t.”

“Stefen, we’ve all seen victims of this, sometimes all we can do is just hold their hand when the memories get too much.” Isa reached over and took Stefen’s hand in hers. “She knows that you personally had to deal with someone in her position. You know how to react when she’s having the nightmares and how to wake her without traumatizing her more.”

Stefen sighed and nodded. He’d spent several sleepless nights, sitting by Luna watching over her while she slept. He’d played music for her until his fingers nearly were as shredded as they were the first time he’d played for Randale. It sometimes seemed like he was trying to push a boulder up the side of a mountain, for sometimes the progress she made was only marginal. Tashir cleared his throat, catching Stefen’s attention.

“The fact that she trusted you, even immediately after proves that it’s not fear of men that’s causing her nightmares. It’s not even the fear of being hurt, but being in a situation she doesn’t know how to handle.” Tashir said.   “She knows that there will be times she can’t always direct a situation to a good end, but she has help. It’s being completely helpless that has her living in fear.”

Tashir’s words hit Stefen like a hammer.   She was afraid of being helpless. She’d said when he found her she couldn’t feel her Companion. She had a bond with Surya tight enough that if she could not feel her nor had someone close enough to reach out to, it certainly had to feel helpless. When he’d run when they had been ambushed, he’d been helpless.

“I think we’ve looked at this the wrong way.” Isa said. “She was in a strange situation and wait didn’t you tell me she couldn’t feel her Surya? I remember Kathlee saying there was some sort of block on her, one they were able to pull away while they healed her.”

“I remember Breda saying something about how Nicolas misused his gift. How he could use it to block someone from temporarily using their gifts. That’s why she rejected him, but why didn’t she someone handle blocking him.” Stefen said. “I remember when Kathlee came to heal her, I played and they didn’t need to use pain blocks.”

“Because the boy can hid his gift at will. You said you sensed him playing at something when he played for you, but you couldn’t be sure. Breda said the same thing, she could tell he was up to something, and you know she’s immune to many forms of the Bardic Gift. She could see what he was trying to do.” Isa said. “Though there is a rather apt retribution in his case. His voice was destroyed when he tried to drink an acid in a suicide attempt and his fingers have been smashed. He’s lucky to hold a pickaxe.”

“That I didn’t know.” Stefen chuckled softly. “So how did he manage to break his hands that way, or was that something I don’t want to know?”

“Seems some of the other prisoners didn’t like the fact that he forced himself on a twelve year old girl.” Trey said with grim glee. “Though I’d have rather seen his throat slit. Corden tells me it’s not Herald like to feel that way, but he also says he can’t fault me for feeling that way.”

“What you have to realize, youngling, we may be Heralds, but we are also human. We have emotions and when someone hurts one of us it does make us angry. Now if you said you wanted to slit his throat then Corden would have had a nice little chat with you, I bet.” Isa said softly.

“I think I’m going to go join Luna in getting stuff ready for the morning, since it seems we’re leaving earlier than you. It will give her a good chance to wear those new outfits I got her.” Stefen said as he rose. “She’ll look amazing as a little Bard.”

Stefen left the table and went into the room he was sharing with Luna. She was sitting on the side of the bed with holding a leather vest in her hands. It was a reddish brown color with scarlet and silver embroidery. The designs were simple flowers, but gave a feminine feel to the outfit. Stefen had this particular set made for her once he learned that she’d stay apprentice status for several years. Lady Treesa had overseen the making herself, making sure she had all of Luna’s measurements right and with a little allowance for growth.

“You had these made for me? Lady Treesa said you had her working on something for me, but she’d never let me see what. This is so beautiful.” She set the vest aside and stood to hug Stefen. “Thank you so much.”

“I had wanted you to wear those to play for her in, but she was the one who suggested that you take them now. She did some work on my stuff too, so we’d match.” Stefen hugged her gently. “Are you sure you are ok going in as a Bardic Apprentice? I’d take a set or two of your Whites, so they do know you are a Herald.”

Luna nodded and moved to finish packing. She stuffed a few last items into the pack that held her clothes then moved to compact Surya’s grooming gear. She was able to compact most of what she needed down to what Surya could safely carry. If they had to make a run back here, she wouldn’t lose anything.

“I think I should take my gittern, the lute would only be excess. I can carry the flute though.” She looked to Stefen. “Stefen, there is something I haven’t told you. I was ashamed that it had happened I made a mistake when we went down south.”

“Luna, what do you mean?” Stefen stepped over to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. “You can tell me anything sweetie.”

“I am not exactly sure how it happened, I just found myself separated from the others and this boy from one of the villages we started talking. I don’t think either of us intended for it to go where it did, but we ended up…” Luna looked away and bit her lip. “He was sweet and really nice… but after it happened, he wouldn’t even look at me.”

Stefen listened to Luna and held her gently. It didn’t take him long to realize what had happened. She’d been down south for several months the previous summer, and when she was away, she’d written him a few letters. He knew she’d met a boy that seemed to be a friend, but then she never mentioned him again. He’d wondered what happened, but he decided to let her tell him when she was ready.

“I know it can feel like you did something wrong when you and someone don’t work out the way you’d hope, especially when you go there. Before I met Van, I wasn’t too picky about whom I slept with, and many times it was only one night. After I met him, I only wanted him.” Stefen led her to the bed and sat down, pulling her into his lap. “It’s not always a failing on your part, and sometimes it’s just not meant to be.”

“I had thought that because it hurt so badly, I did something wrong. That’s how he reacted to me. Like I was tainted or disgusting,” Luna said. “Kathlee said I could have some scaring from what happened, but there is little the Healers can do.”
“Well, if all goes right, I can get you into Moondance’s hands. I think he may be able to heal you far better than most of our Healers.” Stefen said. “Is that what has been causing your nightmares?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve had them off and on since it happened, so I can’t really say what causes them.” Luna said. “When I’m stressed out, they are bad.”

“Well how about you get out of those layers and I’ll give you a massage. We can talk about anything you want to, and see if we can get your mind off stress.” Stefan held her tight. It wasn’t very often that he could pull her into his lap and hold her as he had when she was younger.

Luna was still shorter than him and still very light. She kissed his cheek and stood, stripping away her top layers of clothes and laid across the bed. He pulled a bottle of oil from his pack. He crawled onto the bed beside her and pulled her hair away from her back, tickling her neck lightly. He poured a little of the oil onto his hands and warmed it by rubbing them together. He started at the base of her spine and began to work on the knotted muscles there.

“I know it seems crazy for someone young to think about sex, but he really wasn’t much older than Trey, and only by a few moons. I guess it could really just have been fumbling,” Luna sighed as he hit a tight spot. “It was over in a few moments. I guess he seemed pleased, even if I wasn’t.”

“Luna, I’ll be honest with you. Sometimes men don’t really think beyond what feels good in the moment. I’ve had lovers who would make sure I enjoyed it as much as they did, and I’ve had some that thought as soon as they got theirs it was over and they’d roll over and pass out.” Stefen chuckled. “It’s the same for women, too. You would not be the only girl to ever be less than pleased with her experience.”

“Most of the girls talk about sex when we’re working on mending. They talk about the boys they’ve been with and how it’s supposed to feel so amazing. They ask me what I think and I just have to shrug my shoulders. I think they forget I’m only fourteen.” Luna said, turning her head as she pillowed them on her arms a bit more comfortably. “They just giggle and say ‘she’ll learn’. They tease me about Trey, too. I think I could come to love him.”

“You two have been close since you first met. The fact that Corden sometimes talks to you could possibly mean something deeper than simple friendship. I don’t think it could be a Lifebond though. Those are very rare and the fact you think of other boys besides Trey… that’s telling. From the day I met Van, I never wanted anyone else.” Stefen said softly, finding another tense spot between her shoulders. “Since his death, there are times I’ve found release, but it’s always temporary. Some would think I’m crazy, but he experienced the same thing after his first love.”

“For me, I want to trust the other person. I want him to understand that… oh I don’t know be careful?” Luna couldn’t seem to find the words she wanted to say. “I’m sure Trey would be beyond gentle and understanding. I know I can trust him, too.”

“That’s the key to having a good relationship with someone. You have to trust them, and I know you’ve had little reason to trust people around you.” Stefen worked on another knot. “You’re going to have to start wearing those breast wraps or you’re going to throw your back out. You’re nothing but knots back here.”

“Kasie’s said the same thing.” Luna said with a giggle. “Actually it’s more like ‘girl you are so perky you may not think you need them but one day you will thank me for showing you the better way to wear them.’ I don’t like them because they itch.”

Stefen let out a hearty chuckle. He thought back on a conversation he’d had with Thad about Luna growing up and he mentioned the wraps to him and the boy nearly put his fingers in his ears and tried to drown out what he was saying. When it came to moon day supplies Thad was ever so courteous to fetch them for Luna. Both were vivid reminders that the girl was indeed growing. He could understand, though that the reaction was only a reminder she was growing into a woman.

“Thad and I had a little conversation about those and I thought he was going to claw his ears off.” Stefen laughed and worked his way up to her neck. “Then again, I think it was more that you are growing up than his reaction to you being female.”

Luna thought on the things that had happened in the past two years. This winter she would be fifteen, and by the standards of those in her village she was almost an old maid. If things had remained normal, she’d probably be married with at least one child by now. That is if she didn’t have the Gifts she did.

“I don’t remember a time that I wasn’t able to use my Gifts. I think they could have stirred early, especially the one with plants. I think you figured out long ago that I knew Vanyel longer than we let on.” Luna giggled. “I wasn’t sure who you were when I first met you then I saw your bond with him. It has several layers to it.   There’s love, friendship, and more things that most don’t realize.”

“I think you could be right on that. I knew you did, he sent me dreams about you, that you had to be found. He couldn’t hold off on the bad things happening to you, and he tried dearly to.” Stefen got up and pulled her gown off her pack. “He always felt that he wasn’t made to be a father, but I think he did a damn fine job.”

Luna took the gown and shrugged into it. She’d never confessed to anyone except Nana that for the most part, she’d been raised by a spirit. She figured that Vanyel had used some sort of communication to reach Stefen, but until she’d met him, she hadn’t known what. She eased herself beneath the covers and felt her eyes close before she could say goodnight.

“Goodnight, Luna.” Stefen said and kissed her forehead. He watched her slip off to sleep for getting himself ready for sleep and crawling in beside her.
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Tears of the Phoenix