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Destiny Awaits	By : Lollydolly Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Jasper Views: 19535 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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An: Massive, huge, astronomical thanks to all who reviewed!

As always, thanks to my lovely beta ladyofkeegan for convincing me this chapter was postable, and making it readable for you guys.
Chapter Nineteen
Bella
The last two months had flown by and it was almost Christmas. Jasper and I had settled into a routine, I spent from Friday night to Sunday afternoon at his house and he spent Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday at mine, the door stayed open for Charlie's benefit. Wednesdays and Thursdays were total hell, but I didn’t want to push Charlie’s generosity by asking if he would let Jasper move in. Those days we had to be content to talk on the phone for a few hours.
I was well aware of the fact that our relationship was unusual. Friends did not spend this much time together, especially those that had only really known each other three months. In the beginning we had been together so much because Jasper was sort of dependant on me, but now I was dependant on him too. A day without seeing him was my worst nightmare. It probably wasn’t healthy, but I didn’t care.
He still seemed oblivious to my feelings though, and I was both grateful and disappointed by that. I’d almost resolved to give in and tell him, but I was a coward and it would take me a while yet to drum up enough courage to take such a huge risk. Rosalie prompted me to do it almost daily and even Esme gave me thinly veiled hints whenever I was with her.
She regularly found reasons to send us out alone, or for everyone but us to be away from the house for a few hours. I wondered if Jasper was aware of what she was doing. He was doing so well now. I couldn’t say he was back to normal, because I didn’t really know what he was like before Alice left since Edward never let me get to know him, but he was happy.
Sometimes he had a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was lost in a dream or a memory, but he never looked sad. I thought he might be remembering some happy moment from his relationship with Alice now that it didn’t hurt him so much to do it.
I was in his room now. Our room, really. I always had clean clothes in the closet and my shampoo and shower gel stood next to his in the bathroom. As far as Charlie knew, I slept in Alice’s room when I stayed here, which was somewhat true, or had been in the beginning at least.
Every time I saw our things together, either here or at Charlie's, I was hit with a jolt of love and happiness. Sometimes I worried that I wasn’t being fair to him, because our friendship meant something different to me than it meant to him. I thought keeping my feelings to myself might be unfair, but I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable by telling him the truth. I was stuck.
Jasper was out hunting, something I’d had to get used to, but it wasn’t too bad, as he was never gone long, and always chose to remain behind when the family went away for longer hunting trips. I could hear the TV on downstairs and went to investigate as I’d thought I was the only one home.
As my foot hit the top stair, I heard the TV turn off, a soft thump and a quick rustle.
I found Emmett sitting on the sofa staring innocently at an upside-down copy of the TV guide. I held down a giggle as he smiled up at me. What had he been watching? The remote control was on the opposite sofa, where I was sure he’d thrown it. I picked it up and turned on the TV, just in time to see the end of the Powerpuff Girls.
I turned back to face him slowly, my shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter. “Powerpuff Girls, Emmett?”
“I wasn’t watching it.” He said quickly, avoiding my eyes.
“Yes you were, I heard you from upstairs.” I giggled, throwing myself into the seat beside him.
“I had the sound on low.” He groused, then cursed quietly as he realised he’d admitted it. “I’ll give you a thousand dollars to keep this to yourself.”
I mulled it over as I watched him get more and more worried. This information was worth far more than a thousand dollars. “Nope, sorry.”
“C’mon, please Bella?” He gave me such a sorry expression I almost cracked. “You wouldn’t want to upset your big brother would you?”
“I’m sorry Emmett, but you’ve had a little humiliation coming for quite some time. I’m sick of checking everything I use for bleach and dye, and I’ve had enough of wandering around in Charlie's clothes because you’ve hidden all of mine.” I grinned in anticipation, Jasper and Rose would tease him mercilessly.
“Ok, I’m sorry. A thousand dollars and I’ll stop pranking you. All you have to do is keep quiet.” He begged. I liked that, I would have some cash to add to my Christmas shopping fund and I’d have a quiet life back. Nothing I’d done to Emmett had put him off so far and I was swiftly running out of options.
“Deal.” I told him shaking his hand.
He sighed with relief, then snatched the remote and changed the channel just before Esme and Carlisle walked in.
Esme smiled at me, raising her eyebrows in silent question. I knew what she was asking; she wanted to know where Jasper was. It annoyed me a little that she thought I’d know. We weren’t joined at the hip. Quite. I gave in and told her.
“He went hunting about half an hour ago.”
She looked a little disappointed, and I guessed she’d thought of some ridiculous errands to send us on. Last week she’d sent us to buy salt for something she wanted to cook for me, it was some special kind that we couldn’t get in Forks. We’d driven all the way to Port Angeles for her, only to be told at the store that the special ‘lateral isotonic rock salt’ didn’t exist by a laughing clerk.
To be fair, I don’t think either of us had expected to find it, it wasn’t the first time we’d been sent on a wild goose chase. When we’d got back Esme had laughed, apologised, and claimed she must have written the recipe down wrong. Yeah that’s believable; the vampire with perfect recall and perfect vision copied a recipe wrong.
Carlisle went off to his study to do some paperwork and Esme joined us in the living room while Emmett flicked through the channels.
“When are you putting your decorations up?” I asked, Charlie and I had decorated our tree a week ago, and most of the houses in Forks had been glowing with lights for a few weeks already.
Esme waved a hand dismissively. “We don’t do Christmas.”
“What do you mean? You can’t not do Christmas. It’s... well, it’s Christmas! Is it a vampire thing?”
“We just don’t do it.” Emmett shrugged. “Never have. Every decade or so Carlisle tries to make us get into it, but we don’t like it.”
That was unbelievable. How could anyone possible dislike Christmas? I shook my head at them and went looking for Carlisle. How awful for him to be left out of Christmas because his family didn’t want to participate. Well, he’d have Christmas this year.
I knocked on the door and let myself in. I’d long ago learnt that I wouldn’t get a reply loud enough for a human to hear.
I leaned against the edge of the desk and waited for him to finish the sheet he was working on. It still surprised me to watch his hand move across the page with lightning speed while the perfect handwriting appeared as if by magic.
“What can I do for you Bella?” he asked as he put aside his work.
“I’ve just heard something horrifying.” I said dramatically.
He smiled and raised his eyebrows. “And what would that be?”
“I’ve heard that this family is full of scrooges, and you’re the only one with Christmas spirit.”
He frowned. “It’s true. They are a lost cause.” He said. “None of them like Christmas, they don’t enjoy any holidays actually.”
“Well I think we should have Christmas anyway. We could get a tree, some decorations, and some silly little presents. I’d invite you to our house for Christmas, but I think Charlie might find it a little weird if you came without everyone else.” I was getting kind of excited now. “And we could just decorate in here so it doesn’t bother them. On the other hand, we could do it in the living room! You never know, we might even convert a few of them.”
He looked sceptical. “I don’t know Bella. I haven’t celebrated Christmas in... a very, very long time, and I’ve never had modern Christmas, like you have now.”
“Aww, please. You know you want to.” I tried giving him the look that usually made Charlie cave. I figured if it worked on my real dad, it might work on my second father too. “I spend half my time here, you wouldn’t want me to miss out on anything, would you?”
“Fine, you win.” He laughed.
I hugged him quickly. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I shrieked. Christmas turned me into a four year old. “When can we get a tree? Have you finished? Can we go now?”
Tree shopping was one of the best bits and Charlie had done it without me on his way home from work one night. I was sure I could convince Carlisle to get a huge one to go in the living room.
He chuckled and ruffled my hair. “Give me half an hour and we’ll go. I’ll assume you know where we can get what we need?”
I frowned realising I hadn’t thought this through. “I’ll call Charlie and ask him where he got ours from.” I offered, dancing out of the room. I called Charlie, who was at Billy’s house. He found it odd that the Cullen's hadn’t needed a tree before, as they’d lived in Forks for two years now. I made up a quick excuse about Christmas vacations and got the details I needed.
Esme watched me while I talked to Charlie, looking baffled. Emmett looked intrigued.
“Where are you going?” He asked casually.
“Tree hunting.” I told him, almost bouncing in my seat as I waited for Carlisle. “Want to come?”
“Hunting?” He mused, making me laugh.
“Yep, for a tree.”
“Hunting for a tree.” He repeated slowly. “I’m in.”
I wondered if he thought we were going to be doing something entirely different, but I let him think whatever he wanted. I knew he would be the first to start enjoying Christmas.
“Would you like to come Esme?” I asked sweetly.
Her lips twitched, but she controlled the smile and shook her head. “No thank you.” It didn’t bother me, I was sure she’d crack once she saw her husband happy. And if that didn’t bring her over to our side, the decorations would.
By the end of the week, I’d have the whole family as excited about the festivities as I was.
How easy would Jasper be to convince? And where was he anyway? He’d told me he’d be back soon and it had been almost an hour. I told myself that I was being stupid, but it didn’t stop me from staring at the door while I waited.
When Carlisle came back into the living room, I couldn’t help but laugh. He’d put on a huge parker, gloves and a scarf, even though he didn’t need them. “What?” He said sheepishly as I struggled into my own coat. “I wanted to look the part.”
Emmett, not wanting to be outdone, ran upstairs and came back similarly overdressed. It wasn’t even all that cold, even I didn’t need gloves.
“We should take the truck.” I announced to groans. I knew they hated it. “It will be easier to get the tree home that way. Do you really want to get one of your cars covered in scratches and sap?”
They both looked horrified, and I couldn’t help but grin at how easy they were. Threaten one of their vehicles and you had them in the palm of your hand.
We eventually decided that Carlisle and I would take the truck as this was ‘our’ thing, and Emmett would follow us in the jeep. As we got in the truck, I gave one last look around, hoping Jasper would get back in time to come with us, and saw him come running out of the trees.
I hoped Carlisle wouldn’t notice, or at least not comment on the sudden acceleration of my heartbeat. It happened every single time I saw him. Or heard him. Or smelled him. Did I mention I was pathetic?
I watched in the rear-view mirror as Emmett and Jasper had a quick conversation, then Jasper darted into the house. I was disappointed.
“He’s only gone in to get a jacket Bella.” Carlisle chuckled. I hated being so easy to read. “Let’s get going, they’ll catch up.”
I obeyed and started down the drive, mentally going over the directions Charlie had given me and hoping I remembered them right.
“Any thoughts about which college you want to go to yet?” Carlisle asked conversationally.
This was something else I’d been trying to pluck up the courage to talk about. Since Victoria's attack, I’d been more determined than ever to become a vampire. And I wanted it to happen as soon as possible. I had it all planned out. I could tell Charlie I was taking a year off from school to go travelling. That way I could be changed right after graduation. I’d spend my newborn year away from anyone I could possibly hurt and no one would wonder where I was. It was perfect, but I’d yet to tell anyone else about it.
“Bella?” He prompted, when I didn’t answer.
“I don’t want to go to college.” I said carefully. This was perhaps the best chance I’d get to talk about this without anyone trying to interfere or change my mind. In any case, it was Carlisle I really needed to discuss it with.
“Why ever not? You’re a very intelligent girl Bella, you shouldn’t waste that.” I could see his confused expression out of the corner of my eye.
“Thank you. I would like to go to college one day, but maybe not for a few years.” I was dragging this out. How could I actually ask him to bite me? Without sounding like a psycho, preferably.
“You want to take a break first?”
“Um, sort of.” I mumbled. “I was hoping I would have an endless amount of time to fit in college.”
“You were hoping- oh. You mean you’d still like to be changed?” He’d caught on more quickly than I’d expected him to, and every speech I’d prepared for this moment flew out of my head.
“Um... Yes.” Well done Bella. That will convince him that you deserve to live forever. Your eloquence astounds me. I frowned, annoyed at myself.
“Esme and I have discussed it of course.” He said, completely surprising me. “We were going to speak to you about it after you graduated. It’s difficult for me to know what to think about it. I had always seen this life as a last resort, but you see it as a choice. As you know Edward was against you giving up your human life, but I believe the rest of us would be heartily relieved to have you safe, with the possible exception of Rosalie. Have you thought this through, Bella?”
My mind was reeling. They’d talked about it? It was something they wanted? I wasn’t in the least offended that he thought Rosalie would be against it, she had her reasons, which I respected. He was talking about it as if it was a real, valid option. Every time I’d imagined this conversation, I’d had to persuade, beg, and plead.
“I’ve given it a lot of thought.” I told him eventually. “I hoped that if I could convince you to do it, it would be right after graduation.”
I explained my plans, and the excuses I’d give to Charlie and Renee. He listened without interrupting as I told him everything I understood about what being a vampire would really be like. This was something I’d planned. Edward had spent a lot of time telling me how horrible being a vampire was, and everything I’d have to give up if I became one. I didn’t want Carlisle to do the same.
“Do you understand that you might never have enough control to see your parents again?” He asked softly when I’d finished speaking. “Or that even if you can control yourself, you might look too different, and have to stay away to avoid arousing suspicions.”
“I’ve thought about that.” I nodded. “It would be hard, I’ve already been away for my mom for months, but we keep in contact with emails and phone calls, and it’s bearable. I could do the same with Charlie.”
He gave me a sad smile, and then brightened considerably. “Now for what I think is the most important question. Why do you want to be changed?”
The most important question was also the easiest. “At first, when I was with Edward, I simply wanted to be able to stay with him forever. Now it’s that I want to stay with all of you. I want to be part of the family for real, but more importantly, I don’t want to be a hindrance. Don’t deny it, we both know that twice in the last six months the simple fact that I’m human has put the family in danger. First with James, and then with Victoria.”
“I can’t stand by while people I love fight for me. I want to be able to look after myself, and let’s face it; I don’t seem to be too good at that.” I smiled, turning off the main road and onto a dirt track that should lead us to the tree place. I left out the part about hoping to spend forever with Jasper.
Carlisle remained silent. I worried that I’d answered wrong.
The tension coiled within me as I pulled the car to a stop and turned off the ignition.
“Bella, have you thought about anything else over the last few months?” He laughed finally. “I think you’ve covered everything. You sound like you’ve been plotting this for a long time.”
I felt my face burn. “I have been thinking about it quite a bit.” I whispered, embarrassed to be caught out.
“We should really talk about this as a family, but I think it’s safe to say that you’ll be sparkling this summer.” He grinned across at me and I’m sure I felt my heart leap right up into my throat for a minute. He’d taken me seriously. I was going to get what I wanted. We both laughed at his ridiculous statement.
The Jeep pulled to a stop beside us and I watched Emmett and Jasper shoving each other and laughing. My heart fluttered again.
_______________________________________
Jasper
I was really going to have to give in and go on a real hunting trip soon, the elk population had taken a huge hit over the last two months and I was dying for some real prey. I hadn’t tasted a carnivore in months.
It was my own fault, of course. The thought of spending a few days away from Bella made me feel terrible. The only thing that helped me believe I wasn’t a complete idiot was the fact that she didn’t like being away from me for long either.
Spending the night with her was both heaven and hell. Heaven, because there was nowhere else in the world I’d rather be, and hell, because I had to constantly remind myself that to keep my hands off her.
It was horribly frustrating, especially at Charlie's, not to be able to touch her. Her dreams were the worst part. Though it didn’t happen often, when she started throwing off lust and writhing about in the sheets, I had to get out of bed and stand on the other side of the room. With both her desire, and my own affecting me, it was almost impossibly hard to resist her. And she didn’t even know she was doing it.
I always listened to what she said during these dreams, much more than any others. She had said my name only once while she’d been dreaming like this, and I wasn’t all that sure I hadn’t imagined it. I’d been standing across the room, as usual, trying to control my lust, when she’d whimpered and breathed my name. The sound shocked me stupid for several minutes, and by the time, I’d collected myself, she was sleeping peacefully again.
It gave me hope.
She talked in her sleep most nights, and I’d heard my name often, but no more often than I’d heard Emmett’s, Esme’s, or Charlie's. I knew because I kept count. I was fully aware of how obsessed I’d become. I was also aware that I probably shouldn’t be spending the night with her, it wasn’t right.
How would she feel if she knew I spent every night thinking about everything I wanted to do to her? I was so desperate to touch her, but I was careful to do nothing that would betray the trust she placed in me by falling asleep in my arms.
I stroked her hair, kissed her forehead and her cheeks. All things she allowed me to do when she was awake. But nothing more. I was always careful to put some distance between us if I felt the need within me grow too strong.
The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted her, and the more difficult the nights became. But I wouldn’t give them up for anything. The two nights a week without her were much harder to bear than my own internal struggles when I was with her.
Thinking about being without her made me miss her, and I decided I’d had enough to eat. It was time to go home.
I almost crashed into several trees in my haste to get back to her, and when I reached the yard, she was sitting in her truck with Carlisle. Where were they going? It was only Friday; she was supposed to be here until Sunday. I convinced myself not to panic. She wasn’t hurt, or else she wouldn’t be driving, and the fact that Carlisle was with her meant she was almost certainly coming back.
Emmett's jeep pulled out of the garage and stopped twenty feet behind the truck. It looked like he was going with them. I raced over to see what was going on.
“Where are you going?”
He smirked at me, knowing I only cared because Bella was involved. “Tree hunting.”
“Tree hunting.” I repeated. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t actually know.” He frowned. “Bella was in the study with Carlisle, and the next thing I know, she’s asking me if I want to come tree hunting with them. It sounded like fun.”
“Wait for me.” I told him as I ran into the house to grab a coat. I still had no idea where we were going, but wherever it was Bella would be there.
“Have fun!” Esme yelled as I ran back out a minute later. She was really starting to drive me mad. Sending us out for imaginary salt was taking things a tad too far in my opinion. I was amazed Bella submitted so willingly to all the trips Esme sent us on, even when it became obvious that there was no need for them.
Sending us out for balls of wool had been another low point. She’d claimed she was thinking of taking up knitting, but the wool we’d procured had never seen the light of day. Esme wasn’t quite as skilful at matchmaking as she believed, and she seemed convinced that we didn’t suspect that there was anything odd about her frequent requests for items we never saw again.
When I got into the car, Emmett was leaning back in his seat humming to himself. I waited for him to start the engine. He didn’t. I felt his amusement and anticipation and realised he was trying my patience on purpose.
“Today would be good Emmett.” I growled. He continued to ignore me, but he was fighting his laughter. “Do you know where we’re going? If not, I suggest you get a move on before we lose them.”
“Spoil sport.” He laughed turning the keys. “Have anything nice to eat? I had some great lynx last week.”
I glared at his reflection in the windshield as he taunted me. “It was adequate.”
“How’s the MBFLJ plan coming along? Or have you given up?” He turned down the radio and waited for my response. He’d been bringing up that stupid plan far too often for my liking. Even referring to it in front of Bella, and I’d had to tell her I didn’t know what he was going on about. She didn’t believe me.
“Of course I haven’t given up.” I snapped. “I just haven’t decided on the best course of action yet.”
“Right.” He snorted. “Scaredy cat.”
“I will do something about it Emmett, perhaps if everyone else stopped interfering I might get around to it.”
“Esme’s really pushing the boat out huh?” He laughed. “I can’t believe you fell for that last one.”
Emmett had been doing his part too. At school, he made himself scarce at lunch a few times a week, and in the few lessons we both had with Bella, he’d switched seats with me so that I could sit with her.
At home, he came up with plans. He’d thought of everything from surprising her with a candle lit supper, to buying her expensive jewellery, to kidnapping her and taking her for a weekend in luxury hotel. I appreciated the effort, but I wouldn’t dare do any of those things until I knew for sure that she wouldn’t freak out and reject me completely.
She already knew about the worst parts of me. And she’d accepted them as easily as if I’d told her I I’d once lost a library book. I’d almost managed to convince myself that nothing would faze her, that even if I let her feel how much I loved her she’d stay. Everything I knew about Bella reinforced this belief, but a part of me still worried that I might be wrong, and that part of me was terrified by the prospect of losing her. I knew I wouldn’t cope very well without her. I wouldn’t cope at all.
As we pulled up behind the truck, I noticed a huge sign outside a cabin. I smacked the back of Emmett’s head. “Tree hunting? We’re here to shop for a Christmas tree!”
“Don’t be an idiot.” He grunted shoving me. “I told her we don’t do Christmas... Oh. I guess she and Carlisle are having their own Christmas.”
“How could you possibly have a conversation about Christmas, and then agree to go tree hunting without linking the two up?” I pushed him back and he retaliated immediately.
“She said hunting. I was just thinking hunting, ok. I did wonder about the tree part though.” He stared thoughtfully at the sign and I gave him another push before getting out of the car and joining Bella and Carlisle.
They were both full of love and happiness, but Bella was also relived, and Carlisle thoughtful. I sent him some curiosity, but he just shook his head and smiled at me. Bella skipped close and grabbed my hand, still bubbling with happiness, which intensified as she reached my side. “I’m glad you came.” She grinned up at me.
I was glad too, even if I had to help find a tree. I’d do the whole Christmas deal if it would keep her as happy as she was now.
Carlisle was grinning like a child as he grabbed her other hand and dragged her off into the cabin. It was difficult not to let their excitement rub off on me as I waited by the cars with Emmett. He wasn’t too happy with the situation. I wasn’t surprised.
None of us had ever held any enthusiasm for Christmas, for many different reasons. In Emmett’s case, it was because he had quite clear memories of spending the holidays with a huge human family, giving gifts, eating special food and being too excited to sleep. That was what Christmas was about to him, and he couldn’t do those things anymore.
For me, it was different. I had spent one hundred years as a soldier without ever even remembering Christmas existed. By the time I joined the Cullen's and reacquainted myself with human ways, Christmas had lost all meaning. It was just another day.
I hoped Bella knew what she was doing, only Carlisle would truly appreciate this, and I was worried that she’d be upset when no one else joined in.
I couldn’t hear what was going on in the cabin over the hum of carols and a crackling fire, but I could feel the pleasure of several people inside.
After about ten minutes of waiting, we were about ready to go in and drag them out, but Carlisle appeared in the doorway holding it open for Bella. She had a huge brown bag in one hand and a hot drink in the other, while he was carrying a small axe and saw.
I heard Carlisle clear his throat and saw him look up at a plant hanging above them. Bella blushed, laughed, and kissed his cheek. Jealousy surged through me.
“She likes Carlisle.” I sighed.
Emmett was feeling both amused and incredulous. “Are you blind now, as well as stupid?” He exclaimed. “There was mistletoe. Kissing beneath it is traditional, and she only kissed his cheek. She thinks of him like a father, and he loves her like a daughter. You know this Jasper. You’re getting ridiculous, if you don’t tell her how you feel soon, I will.”
I glared at him, even though I knew he was right. When Carlisle and Bella got closer, I couldn’t help poking into their emotions more closely than usual. Emmett was right, they had a strong, familial love for each other, and were happy, but that was all. I knew I was being stupid, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
I had to admit though; this was my most misplaced jealousy. It was Carlisle, for god’s sake. What was I thinking? Emmett was right; I had to do something about this soon.
I didn’t have to actually tell her I loved her. Maybe I could just ask her on a date. I could take her to the cinema, that way if it didn’t go well I could easily pretend it wasn’t a date at all. Man,

I am a complete coward!!!
I turned to look at the mistletoe again. If I could get her under it, I could kiss her, and gauge her feelings.
I slowed my pace and grabbed Emmett's arm, waiting until Bella and Carlisle had pulled a fair way in front of us before speaking.
“I need a favour.” I whispered. “Can you help me get Bella under the mistletoe?”
I thought his grin might split his face. “Catch up with them and I’ll grab it and hold it over you, she’ll think I’m just joking around and she won’t suspect a thing.”
That would probably be less romantic than I’d hoped, but at this point I was willing to try anything. “Ok.” I felt my own nervous anticipation building. I was finally going to get to kiss her.
“Shit, wait I can’t risk it.” Emmett muttered.
“What?” I was already speeding up, distracted by visions of Bella’s plump pink lips against mine.
“I promised I wouldn’t prank her anymore.” He shrugged.
“Why? That’s not even a prank anyway.”
“We made a deal.” He mumbled, something was embarrassing him. “She might see it as a prank. Sorry man, but you’re on your own this time.”
He ran off to collide with Carlisle before I had chance to question him any further about it. I could still do it, it would take a little more courage on my part, but I was determined. Once we’d found a tree, we would have to pay for it and return the tools, which meant Bella would be going back into that cabin. I’d grab my chance then.
By the time I caught up with them again, Emmett was helping himself to a box of chocolates Bella had bought from the cabin.
“I’ve done it.” He crowed, after his fifth try. “This is good. Seriously guys, you have to try it.” He stuffed another chocolate in his mouth as we gaped at him.
Carlisle was the first to crack and take one of the chocolates, and I swiftly followed, biting into mine quickly. It was a milk chocolate shell full of some sort of liqueur. And it was vile. I spat it out and saw Carlisle doing the same. We turned on Emmett, ready to retaliate, only to see him helping himself to another.
“You don’t like it?” He asked, baffled.
“It’s just as bad as every other food, son.” Carlisle explained.
Emmett shook his head furiously. “No, they’re good. I mean, they’re not as good as blood by a long shot, but still...” He trailed off popping in another one.
Bella smiled, rooting through the box for more of the chocolates he liked, and eating a few of her own. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so elated. I was with Bella, and everyone around me was happy, and I got to feel all of it.
If this was what Christmas did to people, it was easy to see why Carlisle had wanted us to participate. I couldn’t believe what I’d been missing.
___________________________
Bella
As Emmett helped himself to more chocolates, I wondered if he’d forgotten that he’d have to bring them back up later.
I hadn’t had this much fun in years. The four of us strolled through the trees, with no real aim, chatting about anything and everything. Emmett was thrilled he’d finally found decent human food, Carlisle had turned into a little boy and Jasper looked happier than I’d ever seen him before. It was easy to understand why. Everyone we’d passed had been as happy as us, and he was soaking all that up.
We must have been here a lot longer than I thought, the sky was rapidly darkening, and it was getting cold. I’d already stolen Carlisle’s gloves and Emmett's scarf. I didn’t mind, it was more fun when it was dark, Renee always used to wait until night time to take me tree hunting.
I’d been enjoying the walk so much I’d forgotten to pay any attention to the trees and I figured I should probably start, or we’d be here forever. There were small signposts every so often, explaining about the qualities of the different sections of trees. I didn’t pay attention to them, I just wanted a tree that looked right, I didn’t care where it came from, or what type of needles it had.
“What about that one?” Carlisle asked, pointing to a fairly pathetic specimen.
I could feel myself gaping at him. “It’s horrible.” I whined.
He shrugged and started walking again. I reached into my bag for more chocolate, only to realise that Emmett and I had eaten it all. He was going to be so sick soon. I looked around for him, and found him and Jasper had fallen way behind us, and Emmett was doubled up against a tree. Maybe soon was now.
We made our way back to them, Jasper’s laughter reaching us on the way.
“You ok?” I asked Emmett rubbing his back. How did you help a sick vampire?
“My stomach hurts.” He moaned.
Carlisle and Jasper continued to chuckle behind us. “That's what happens when you eat human food and don’t get rid of it, son.”
“Uh.” Emmett grunted, clutching his stomach. “I forgot.”
I started feeling quite ill myself once he began to retch. Carlisle and I left Jasper to laugh at him while we continued to look for the perfect tree.
He wasn’t very good at it. So far, he picked out seven trees, which he thought were ‘fine’. I had explained that we weren’t looking for ‘fine’, and in any case, his choices were all far too scrawny.
After hours of searching, I finally found it.
It was about ten feet tall, hugely bushy and full and overall the most perfect tree I’d ever seen. And it was going to end up next to the piano if it killed me.
“This is the one.”
“Bella, that’s far too big, we’d never get it in the study.” He rolled his eyes at me. I think Christmas was a bad influence on him; he was starting to act the age he looked. It was kind of scary.
“It’s not going in the study; it’s going in the living room.” I said firmly.
“If we take that home, Esme will kill me.” He complained. “You said we could have Christmas in the study. We can’t force this on everyone else.”
I needed back up. Where the hell were the others? I looked around and found them ambling towards us as if there was no rush. I growled. Carlisle started laughing at me. I glared at him.
I was tired, too much chocolate was making me jumpy, and I wanted this tree. Also, my feet were going numb from the cold.
I decided to put my foot down. If Carlisle were going to act like a child, I’d have to take charge. I figured Emmett would enjoy cutting the tree down more than anyone else would, and once it was down, it was mine.
“Emmett!” I yelled, much louder than necessary.
He was at my side in an instant, as was Jasper. I tried to ignore Jasper for the moment, knowing how quickly my train of thought would veer wildly off course if I focused on him.
“This is the one. Want to cut it down?” I could tell he was impressed by the size of the tree, but he was eyeing the tools Carlisle held with something like pity.
It quickly became obvious why. Turning his back on the offered tools, he stared challengingly up at the tree, as if he expected it to fight back. Then he stuffed his hand through the branches, gripped the trunk, and kicked the bottom of the tree.
He lifted it effortlessly over his head. “Where’d you want it?” He asked, his voice muffled by the branches, as his head was completely obscured.
“Put it down.” I hissed. If anyone saw him lifting that, they would know something was wrong. He dropped it immediately. “Be careful!”
“Sorry Bells.” He grinned, brushing pine needles out of his hair. “Now don’t get me wrong, I like the tree, but you know Esme will never let it in the house, right?”
“I did tell her.” Carlisle said, smiling triumphantly.
“You’ll see.” I promised, sticking my tongue out at the two of them and heading back to the cabin on Jasper’s back. I was cold and tired, and after two nights with very little sleep, I wanted nothing more than to get home and snuggle down in bed. I’d carry on my attempts at spreading Christmas cheer in the morning.
_____________________________________
Jasper
I had missed my chance with the mistletoe. Bella had fallen asleep on our way back to the cabin and only woken up long enough to pick out several boxes of decorations.
I was driving the truck home now with Bella sleeping against my shoulder. Carlisle had actually tried to take her from me so that they could drive back together. I’d growled at him. The look on his face had been priceless and Emmett had laughed so hard he’d scared away a family that had pulled up beside us. If I’d have been able to blush, I was sure I would have.
“Mmm.” Bella mumbled, pressing her face against my shoulder. “Smells nice.”
I checked and found she was still asleep. She nuzzled my arm and hummed again. I was annoyed we were almost home, and briefly contemplated driving around for a while so we could stay like this, but realised that I wouldn’t have a great explanation if Bella woke up while we were on the other side of Forks.
I turned reluctantly up the driveway, and when I reached the house, found that Carlisle was trying to persuade Esme to let him bring the tree in. My laughter woke Bella.
She sat bolt upright and looked around, then relaxed once she knew where she was. “What are you laughing at?” She mumbled, settling back against me.
“Esme won’t let Carlisle bring the tree in.” I pointed out.
She looked across the yard at them, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Help me convince her?” Her big brown eyes gazed up at me, pulling me in and rendering me momentarily speechless. I nodded mutely.
“All you have to do, is look really pleased about the tree, and agree with whatever I say, kay?”
“Of course.” How could I possibly do anything other than agree when I could feel how happy this made her?
We carried the boxes of decorations over to where Carlisle was deep into negotiations. “Bella chose it.” He pointed out. It looked like he’d given up, and was now trying to shift the blame. I wasn’t surprised, angry Esme was scarier than Rosalie was on a bad day.
Esme turned her glare on us as we approached. I expected Bella to give up immediately, but she just smiled and ignored the fact that the tree was still outside, and Esme obviously did not intend to let it in.
“Oh Esme, thank goodness.” Bella gasped. What was she doing? “Jasper and I can’t decide on the theme for decorating the tree.”
Esme curiosity was piqued; I could not believe Bella was going to win her over so easily.
Bella opened one of the boxes she was carrying and pulled out a huge ugly star that I hadn’t seen her buying. It was striped in fluorescent green and orange, with purple, glitter covered feathers sticking out of the back of it. Esme was horrified already.
“You see Jasper and Emmett think we should put these star things all over it.” She explained plaintively. Esme glared at me, I was going to kill Bella later. “But me and Carlisle thought these would look better.”
I watch Carlisle glace worriedly between his wife and Bella as Bella opened the largest box. He needn’t have worried. The box Bella opened contained some of the ornaments we’d all agreed on in the cabin. This box was full of delicate glass snowflakes, cream and gold bells, and clear fairy lights. Bella was a genius.
Esme’s eyes practically glazed over as she stared at the real decorations. I could actually feel her trying not to get excited. Bella had already won, but she decided to add a little more. “Won’t they look beautiful on the tree if we put it by the piano? You agree don’t you Esme? These will look much better than the ones the boys picked out.”
Esme glared at me again. “There is no way the tacky stuff you picked out is going on my tree. I thought you had better taste than that!” She muttered. “Carlisle honey, bring it in won’t you, so we can get the lovely ornaments set out.”
Carlisle was practically speechless with incredulity as he followed his wife back into the house with the tree, casting an awed glance back at Bella.
Bella giggled. “Told him I could do it.” She grinned. “Sorry for blaming you for the ugly thing.”
As we walked into the house, laden down with boxes and bags, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “You’ll have to make it up to me.”
Her cheeks flushed instantly, and I felt a quick flickering of desire coming from her, before it was squashed by confusion and disappointment. What did that mean? Was the desire directed at me? I thought about what I’d said. I could think of plenty of fantastic ways for her to make it up to me, none of them I’d ever actually ask for though. Was she thinking something along the same lines?
I didn’t want to actually ask her, but maybe I could subtly bring it up again later and see how she reacts. I realised I was still standing just inside the door and that Bella had gone into the living room. Carlisle had already set up the tree, and Esme was stringing the lights all over it.
Emmett and Bella were standing whispering in the corner. I heard her mention Rosalie, and saw Emmett agreeing and go running upstairs. A few seconds later, Rose followed Emmett back down. She saw the tree and scowled. She would not be as easy to convince. I sat back and waited to see how Bella would tackle her. Emmett plopped onto the couch beside me, grinning from ear to ear.
“Five hundred bucks says Bella won’t get her to join in.” He whispered, nudging me.
He hadn’t seen Bella work on Esme. I knew Rose would be difficult, but I had no doubt Bella would win her over in the end. “You’re on.” I whispered back.
We watched as Bella approached Rosalie, holding a small white box. I knew what was in it, and I also knew with certainty, that I was about to win the bet.
“I got you something.” Bella smiled shyly. I could feel her anxiety; she really wanted Rose to like the gift, even more than she wanted her to join in with the whole Christmas thing. She opened the box, and Emmett strained to see what was in it. “I thought we could have one each to go on the tree.”
Rose was practically flinging out pleasure and love. “Oh they’re beautiful!” She gasped.
While Bella had made Carlisle pay for most of the decorations, she’d bought these particular two herself. They were little glass ballerinas, one in an ivory outfit, the other in gold.
I held out my hand to a grumbling Emmett while the girls hugged and joined Esme at the tree.
He shoved me. “You cheated! You knew she had those, didn’t you?”
“I might have.” I smirked, and left him to his muttering to help with the tree. Once again, I was wrapped up in the happiness of everyone else. My personal highlight of the decorating was lifting Bella up to put the star on top. I had another little flicker of desire from her again. I was beginning to think there was hope for me yet.
Bella and Carlisle went off on their own to the study to make plans, and then came back to tell us we would be having our Christmas on Christmas Eve. They had a box with little bits of paper in it, and made us each choose one. Apparently, we were doing secret Santa, as it was our first try at celebrating Christmas.
Carlisle said we were to spend no more than a thousand dollars and that we had to get lots of small gifts, instead of one big one. I picked out Bella. I had an excuse to buy her presents. And I had no idea where to start.

___________________________
If there was one man that seemed to know exactly what a situation called for, it was George. He’d helped me out before, and I didn’t doubt he’d be able to help me find a perfect gift for Bella. It was the dreaded Thursday, I’d already gone one night without her, and I figured getting her presents would keep my mind off the fact that I had another one to go.
Of course, Wednesdays and Thursdays were the only chance I would get to shop for her, as she was with me every other day. I’d felt her lust a few more times since the weekend, always just after I’d touched her. And every time I’d been close to telling her how I felt, but she always squashed it. It seemed like something she didn’t want to feel.
I’d tried flirting with her a little, and always got the same confusing mix of emotions. Hope and shyness, followed swiftly by irritation and disappointment.
I didn’t understand it, and when I’d told Emmett, he was no help either.
Emmett flirted with pretty much every woman he met; it was just his way, so I started paying more attention to how Bella felt when he spoke to her. She was only amused, nothing else. All that told me was that she had different feelings for me than she had for Emmett, which didn’t really help.
I put that to the back of my mind and focused on shopping.
He opened the door before I got to it, and not for the first time, I wondered if he was something more than human.
“All alone today Mister Whitlock?” He greeted, sending me his usual crinkly-eyed grin. “Come in, come in.”
“Good afternoon George.” Somehow, the front room of the shop seemed even more cluttered than the last time I’d been here.
“How are the family?” He asked, already looking in the back of a cupboard. “Miss Bella is well, I trust?”
The way he said it made me feel like he knew exactly why I was there, and exactly what I felt for her. I remembered him telling Bella she’d be bringing him some business and chuckled.
“She’s fine.” I told him, moving to look at the little animals, as I thought of what else he’d said. “Is she ready for the tiger yet?”
George came out of the cupboard with an armful of dusty boxes, and an amused frown on his face.
“Don’t ask me.” He laughed. “It’s your tiger; you’re the one that has to trust her with it.”
“You said she wasn’t ready for it.” I was confused. “I don’t understand.”
He sighed and smiled patiently. “The tiger is a metaphor.” His sarcasm was evident.
I wanted to ask him what I was a metaphor for, but I decided I’d looked stupid enough for one day. Therefore, I just nodded.
“Now, you need a gift for the little one.” He said, opening up the boxes he’d brought out. “She doesn’t like grand gestures, does she? Wouldn’t even accept something that was already hers.” He muttered.
I inspected the boxes; in each was a single jewelled hair slide thing. I wished I’d brought Rose or Esme to help. I’d intended to get her a bracelet or something, but George had never steered my wrong before, and now I thought about it, Bella didn’t really wear jewellery. But which one should I choose?
“You need something delicate and beautiful.” He said, as if answering my unspoken question. “Simple, but complex.”
“It should be perfect.” I muttered, poking through the boxes, hoping one would stand out.
“She struck me as a girl who appreciated flaws.” George prodded. I mulled it over. He was right.
“You’re right. How do you always know everything? What are you?” It was something I’d wanted to ask for a long time.
He smiled. “I am George, Mister Whitlock and I know what I know. No more, no less.”
“You know what I am though, don’t you?”
He smiled again, though this time there was more humour behind it. “You are a man in love.” Oh, he knew.
He seemed to know everything, I wondered if he could help me. “Do you think I have a chance with her?”
“I rather think you should ask the lady that question.” He told me sternly. I actually felt like I’d been told off. It was unsettling. “Now, which of these would she like?”
He was acting very strangely, every time I’d seen him before, he’d given me one item, and I’d never questioned his choice. Why was he making me choose all of a sudden? What if I got it wrong?
“What do you think?” I tried.
He frowned, and I felt thoroughly chastised again. “I think you should learn to make decisions for yourself. Miss Bella, it seemed to me, would cherish a twig if you gave it to her.”
I wouldn’t go that far, but I knew what he meant. I thought about how genuinely pleased she’d been by the ridiculous pig Emmett had got for her. I looked through the slides again. This time, one stood out.
I knew I’d chosen right when George beamed at me, like I’d passed some sort of test. I waited while he cleaned up the box and wrapped the little tiger in tissue paper.
As I was leaving, he called me back. “The tiger and the swan, Mister Whitlock. When they break, which they will, bring them back to me. I have plans for them.” He smiled serenely and waved me off.
He was the strangest man I’d ever met. How would the animals get broken? And what did he intend to do with some broken bits of rock?
He’d also said that I was supposed to trust Bella with the tiger, did that mean I had to trust her with the metaphor tiger, and that she’d break it? If the tiger was supposed to be me, did that mean I meant to trust Bella with myself, and that she’d break my trust? Thinking about it was starting to make my head hurt.
I’d had enough of over thinking everything.
I had just over a week to go until Christmas, and I decided I was going to tell Bella I loved her by then. There would be no downplaying my feelings, or asking her on a date. I would simply tell her how I felt. She deserved the truth, and I was sick of trying to hide my feelings while looking for hers.
I started making plans.

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An: So... Tell me what you think of my fluffy filler chapter... pretty please? You know you want to...
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Destiny Awaits