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All Grown Up: The Story of Jacob and Renesmee	By : VanessaWolfe Category: Twilight Series > Het > Jacob/Renesmee Views: 19932 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Jacob
A very boring day at work mercifully came to an end, when the shop manager sent half of us home because there were only two cars to work on. As I drove home, I hoped that Ness and I could take advantage or this day and get some quality time together. I hoped, but did not expect.
When my alarm went off this morning, I quickly rolled over and smacked the snooze button to shut it up. Usually if I got to it fast enough it wouldn't wake Anthony. It always woke up Nessie but she'd go right back to sleep as long as Anthony did. She groaned and stretched as she rolled onto her back. I watched her heavy breasts rise up when she stretched her arms over her head. I leaned down and kissed where her cleavage started.
"Good morning, beautiful."
I kissed my way up to her neck.
"Morning. Not in front of the baby," she muttered without opening her eyes. She pulled our blankets up to her neck and rolled over. It killed me to see her hiding herself from me like that. For the record, I wasn't buying all this, "not in front of the baby" stuff. I swear she was using him as a shield against me, almost literally sometimes. I knew that some new moms lost interest in sex. I never thought that would happen to Nessie though, to us. Our sex life had always been fantastic, at least I thought it was. I tried to tell myself that it wasn't me, but it still hurt. I was starting to feel lonely even when we were in the same room.
She seemed to be feeling great physically, she didn't need my help with anything anymore. And the baby took so many naps, we'd had plenty of opportunity and I cherished the time we spent together alone. But when things got hot, Ness shut it down. It wasn't like I was only trying to get laid, I wasn't being a pervert. I just needed so much to be close to her and she pushed me away every time I got too close. She didn't seem to have any idea how much I was aching for her, and if she did, she didn't care. It's not like I thought we'd be having mind blowing sex the night after she gave birth. I'm not dumb or selfish.
When I got home I went upstairs, Anthony was sleeping in his crib and Ness was in the shower. Sometimes when I was in the shower I'd think about my Nessie. They always ended up being very long showers. I would think about the way she used to moan into my mouth when I was inside of her. I wanted her amazing new body underneath me. She looked even better than before, the soft feminine curves of motherhood really suited her. I would wish that my hand was her warm, wet mouth, and imagine just ravaging her against that shower wall, making her scream my name. That she would look at me with desire in her eyes again, and need me as much as I needed her.
I sighed and walked over to Anthony's crib. I watched him sleep for a minute, even passed out he was amazing to me. My son. I threw my dirty work clothes in the hamper and pulled on a pair of sweats. I would have loved to join Ness in the shower, but I knew better than to try it. So I just sat on the bed and waited for her. Finally the shower turned off. It was quiet for an awful long time. I guessed she was taking her sweet time drying herself off. Finally she stepped out of our bathroom, stark naked and dripping wet. She was passing Anthony's crib on the way to her dresser when she noticed me sitting on the bed. She shrieked and put her hand over her heart, then quickly darted to the bathroom doorway and grabbed a towel off the counter.
"Jacob you scared me, get out!" she yelled holding the towel in front of herself. The baby started to cry and I just looked at her dumbfounded, get out? She groaned and skitted back into the bathroom. I heard the door lock.
"Get Anthony since it's your fault he's crying," she shouted through the door.
"What are you doing home anyway?" she demanded.
"It was slow so I left," I said trying not to sound defensive about being in my own damn house.
I frowned as I crossed the room to his crib.
"Everything is okay, I just startled Mommy that's all. Shhhh."
I rocked Anthony back and forth trying to calm him. There were no sounds coming from the bathroom. I kissed Anthony's hair and put him back in his crib once he was asleep. I crossed our room and knocked on the bathroom door.
"Nessie?"
"Go away."
"But why?"
"Because I'm gross and I'm a shitty wife!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
There was no answer. It was obvious her hormones had not returned to normal yet, because this was hardly normal.
"I'm not sure what's wrong Ness, and it's never gonna get fixed if you wont tell me. Why are you so upset?"
"I don't want you to see me!"
"Why not?"
"Jacob just go. Please."
"Can't I come in?"
I waited through a moment of silence.
"We need to talk, I think that's pretty obvious, Renesmee. Please let me in?"
After another long moment I heard the door unlock. She was standing in front of the mirror, wrapped in the towel, looking down and scowling. I longed to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but I stayed in the doorway.
I wasn't sure what I should say, so I told her that I loved her.
"I know, I love you too," she said quietly.
I just looked at her, waiting for her to speak.
"I don't look the same anymore. I just didn't want you to look at me."
The shame in her voice broke my heart.
"Ness," I began, "do you really think that I care about something so trivial like that?"
"Even if you don't, I do."
"Well you shouldn't."
"I know, but I still do."
"Who cares if you don't look exactly the same as you did when you were six?"
She snorted a laugh.
"There's nothing about you that could ever change, that would cause me not to think you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I think that even more now that you've carried our child. You are the most beautiful mommy in the whole world."
There was just a hint of a smile on her face now.
"It's okay if you aren't ready to have sex yet, but you don't seem to have any idea how badly it hurts when you push me away. I don't understand it. I just wish you'd just let me show you how much I love you once in a while." She considered that briefly.
"Okay," she whispered, looking up at me for the first time.
"Okay?"
"Okay."
I walked to stand behind her, I put my hands on her bare shoulders, and my nose to her wet hair. I took a deep breath in. She closed her eyes as I rubbed her shoulders and her back. I took my time there, just wanting her to feel nice. Ness was still holding the towel tight around her, I put my finger underneath the top of the towel and ran it across her body. I squatted down and wrapped my hand around her ankles, moving them up her legs, pausing to squeeze her thighs.
"I really miss you," I murmured against her neck. The sadness in my voice was clear. She opened her eyes and her they held that same sadness.
"I miss you too," she said quietly. Why were were doing this to each other then? Hopefully, this would be the end of it. I watched her face as I slid one hand under the towel and rested it low on her stomach. She flinched and looked away from my reflection in the mirror.
"Shh," I said before she could protest.
"Ness, you are my imprint, my wife, the mother of my son, nothing could ever change any of that."
I reminded her again.
"You are perfect. Every single inch of you."
I firmly pressed my hand against her, where our child had grown inside her. Her wet eyes met mine again in the mirror as she put her hand under the towel and placed it over mine. She slid her fingers into the spaces in between mine and leaned back into me, closing her eyes again. I kissed her shoulder, dragging my lips over to the base of her neck and she squeezed my hand. I ran my tongue up her neck and sucked the spot under her ear.
She quietly said my name as she turned around to face me. I bent down and brushed my lips against hers, rubbing my thumb on her chin to coax it down. She readily parted her lips for me and I slid my tongue past them. When it met hers she wrapped her arms around my neck and sighed. I heard the towel slide off her body and hit the floor.
Oh my God.
She hadn't let me see her totally naked since she gave birth. Well a second ago doesn't count, for one thing she hadn't actually let me, plus I wasn't really looking.
Down boy, I told myself. Of course I would have loved to pin her against the wall and take her but I needed to think with the right head here. Just like the birds she loved to watch from my arms when she was little, if she waited patiently they would come to her. If she stampeded towards them, of course they'd fly away.
I ran my hands up her sides, across her ribs. I trailed my fingers across the front of her body, just barely brushing the soft patch of short hair, but I felt her reaction to it. She trembled, only slightly. I rubbed her shoulders as I rubbed her tongue with mine.
I took a chance and let my hands brush the sides of her breasts. I pulled my lips away and looked at her, as I started to massage the spot under her arms where her breasts meet her body. I was making sure this was what she really wanted, giving her the chance to tell me to stop. But she didn't. She pulled herself up and wrapped her legs around my waist.
If that isn't a green light, I don't know what is. I brought my lips back to hers and gripped her hips tightly as I set her on the counter. As I stood between her legs I pressed myself against her, she held onto my ass pulling me closer and ground herself against me. I reached out to touch those perfect breasts, I pushed them together and rubbed my thumbs across her nipples. She moaned and arched her back, I could feel how wet she was even through my pants. I put my hands behind her, on her shoulder blades and pulled her to me. As I took her breast into my mouth and flicked my tongue against her nipple her soft moaning continued. I lifted my head and looked into her eyes as I hurriedly pushed my sweatpants down over my hips. I saw the change in her eyes. She put her hand on my chest and literally pushed me away.
"No wait!"
As her legs dropped from my waist, my face must have dropped like a sack of hammers.
"What's wrong?"
"It's just...this is great," she said breathlessly, "but I just can't yet."
"We don't have to, but I thought..." I let my thought trail off. She knew what I meant.
"I do want to, I...just don't know if I can yet," she said sounding guilty, "I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be sorry, I'm not mad," I said.
A little frustrated, a little sad or lonesome though, yes. I stroked her still wet hair and arranged it on her shoulders.
"Would you tell me why though?"
She thought for a moment.
"Just help me understand."
"I'm afraid," she finally confessed to the floor.
"Of what though?" I asked gently.
I put my hand under her chin and tilted her face up to look at me.
"It's gonna hurt, Jake," she said in a small voice.
Ohhh, why hadn't I thought of that?
"I'll take it slow," I promised.
"When you decide you want to," I added.
"Or if you want, I'll even let you be on top so you can be the one in control of how slow or fast we go." I said with a grin.
She smirked at me.
"Oh, you'll let me be on top? How generous of you."
"Yeah, I'm pretty giving like that," I said lightly, then turned serious again.
"I won't hurt you Ness," I said, hoping that was a promise I would be able to keep.
"Well, you know," she said putting her hands on my shoulders.
"Even if we don't make love we could do...other things," she suggested.
She pulled me to her, pressing the erection I still had against her stomach causing it to throb for her again.
"Like what?" I asked as I rubbed myself against her.
She gave me a little shrug, a sly smile, then pressed her lips to my chest. She tasted my skin like I was her favorite food, and she'd forgotten what I tasted like. She swirled her tongue across my nipples, pausing to close her teeth around each one. I drew in a sharp breath each time. She grabbed my face and kissed me deeply as I was grinding myself against her. Abruptly she pulled away and looked at me.
"I want to know what you think about when you're in the shower," she said.
"Huh?" It took me a second to realize what she meant, and when I did, I'm sure I blushed. She leaned over and opened a drawer. I watched her as she pulled out a bottle of lotion and squirted a big dollop into her hand.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
She reached between us and hesitantly wrapped her delicate fingers around me. My breath caught in my throat. God it's been so long. She twisted her wrist as she slowly moved her hand up and down. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, taking in the feeling of the smooth lotion and the amazing thing she was doing to me with her hand.
"Tell me," she purred into my ear.
I'd almost forgotten what she had just asked me. I'd almost forgotten my name.
"You," I answered simply.
"What about me?" She asked as she wrapped her arm around me and rested it on my upper back.
"How much I love you, how sexy you are."
She gripped me tighter and I moaned.
"What else?" She laid her head on my chest and tasted me some more.
"The way you look when you cum, how soft and warm you are. How it feels when I'm inside of you."
Her tongue was tracing the lines of my chest.
"Tell me how it feels," she whispered.
"Oh, God. So good, Ness. You feel so good. Warm...wet."
Her stroking became faster.
"You tell me I'm beautiful all the time, but do you know how beautiful YOU are to me?" she asked.
I opened my eyes and looked down at her, I shrugged.
"Well you are. I love your sexy abs, your sweet smile, your kind eyes. I love you," she said.
I grabbed her face and kissed her hard. I felt warmth spread through my body as she worked me with her hand. I kneaded her breasts with my hands, maybe a little roughly. If I was too rough she didn't complain, she made a little whimpering noise into my mouth.
"Oh shit. Nessie, I'm-"
"Go ahead," she cut me off knowing what I was about to say.
"I want you to."
I let out a loud groan as I came on her stomach. I tried to catch my breath and kiss her at the same time, I wasn't really working but I didn't want to stop.
"Jacob touch me." She grabbed my hand and guided it between her legs.
"Just DON'T go inside."
"I won't, I promise."
I put just my fingertip between her lips, running it up and down her wet slit. She leaned back into the counter. I spread her open with my thumb and my first finger, with the other hand I used my fingers to make small, firm circles on her clit. She let out a short but loud cry and arched her back.
"What about my tongue?" I asked her.
"Huh?" she said opening her eyes to look at me.
"Can I put my tongue inside of you?"
"Yes," she answered right away.
dropped down and kissed her between her spread open lips, making my way down to her opening. I moved my tongue around it, up and down, across it.
"Please," Nessie whispered.
I plunged my tongue inside her and licked her, tasting her. She grabbed my hair and groaned as she pressed my face into her. I felt her put her legs on my shoulders, I reached up and gripped her thighs. I licked every inch of her that I could as she thrashed underneath me. I moved to her clit and wrapped my lips around it. She cried out again when I lightly scraped it with my teeth. I sucked it into my mouth and quickly flicked my tongue and she started to shake. She was pulling my hair and making sounds that were too loud to be whimpers, they were more like broken moans. I put my hands under her ass, holding her against my face.
"Jake!" she shouted, her voice shaking with the rest of her body. She was grinding her face against me and her body started to tense up. I didn't stop licking her through her first orgasm, or her second. After that one I gently licked her clean, her body still twitching with aftershocks.
"Oh my God," she moaned quietly. I set her back down and took my hands out from underneath her. I then straightened up and gave her open mouthed kisses on both of her nipples, then her chest, her neck and up to her lips. I held her close, she was slightly limp in my arms.
"You had to go and get me all messy soon as I get out of the shower."
She lightly slapped me on the back as her head rested on my chest.
"Mmm," I sighed breathing her in.
"I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not."
"Oh I know you aren't. Why don't you go turn the water on since we could both use one now. I want to go peek on the baby real quick."
I turned around to do what she asked, and she hopped off the counter to go peer out the door.
"Is he still sleeping?"
"Yeah," Ness answered.
"Unless he is even smarter then we thought and he's faking sleep to spare us a walk of shame past the crib."
I chuckled.
"Well hopefully he really is sleeping and we haven't scarred him for life," I said stepping into the shower.
"Better sounds then sights. That happens to all kids. It's happened to me more times then I care to admit."
I let over an over dramatic gasp as she got into the shower with me.
"You've walked in on your parents?"
I guess vampire hearing can't help you when you are highly distracted.
"What, you never did?"
"Not that I remember, my mom was gone when I was pretty little so if I did, I've been spared the trauma of that memory. That is seriously gross!"
"Tell me about it."
"So, more times then you care to admit huh?" I said laughing.
She scowled.
"Do I even want to know?" I asked as I stood under the shower head.
"Probably not," she said putting her hands on my shoulders as she stood under the water with me.
She didn't mean to, but she showed me what had happened with her gift since she was thinking about it. I saw a quick couple of flashes of Bella going down on Edward, and then a fully clothed Edward explaining to little Nessie that what she had seen was a very special kind of kiss that Mommies and Daddies give each other because they are in love.
"Ew gross Ness!"
"Oops did you see that? Sorry."
"That's okay I know you didn't mean to. Damn though, that's quite a trauma! We are never doing that to our kid," I vowed.
"Agreed!"
"That is kinda funny though," I said pulling her closer. She looked up and stuck her tongue out at me.
"And don't you ever think about this around my dad!"
"Trust me I'll be trying not to."
"Shh listen." she said.
Ness said she had developed "Mommy hearing" and she could hear the baby from miles away. She had super human hearing anyway so that's pretty impressive. She was right, he was starting to cry.
"Me?"
"I'm coming sweet heart! Aw he woke up alone and doesn't know where we are."
She hastily wrapped herself in a towel and hurried out of the bathroom. I looked out the bathroom door and saw her pulling on a pair of my old cut off sweats.
"Mommy's right here" She went to get him and I took my time drying myself off.
God I had needed that, she obviously did too. And I was glad everything was out in the open now. Now that I knew her worries, I'd do whatever I could to ease them. When I walked out of the bathroom, I found a wonderful sight. My amazing wife clad in only my pants, feeding our perfect son and giving me the sweetest smile. Not hiding herself from me in blankets.
"I'm gonna go make a sandwich, want one?" I asked her.
"Yup, extra meat, hold the bread."
"I figured. How about some cheese?"
"Sure, lets spice up lunch a bit."
"Okay, it'll be ready when you are." I bent down and give her a quick kiss. "Thank you for talking to me, and telling me what was bothering you. I love you."
She grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me down for another kiss. "I love you too." She looked down at Anthony and stroked his hair, my hair. "And I was thinking...maybe it's time for Anthony to start sleeping in the nursery."

Renesmee
My big boy had 9 teeth now, which made breast feeding interesting, and his hair was getting thicker with each passing day. He learned new words and names of our family members every day. Two days ago he'd started to scoot across the floor, I was so glad it was in the evening when Jacob had been home to see it. He was sleeping in his own room now, each night I rocked him to sleep in the rocking chair before placing him in his crib.
I'd rush ordered a white noise machine I'd found online for his room, we put it next to his crib to cover up the sounds that were now coming from our bedroom on a nightly basis. I felt so much better after Jacob and I talked that day he surprised me coming out of the shower. And I felt better after the things we did that day too. I was glad I let him show me how much he loved me like he'd asked. So what if I wasn't perfect? He still loved me inside and out.
We hadn't actually started having sex again, but we made love in other ways I guess, and satisfied each other plenty. I wanted to try soon, but this was making us more creative and I was enjoying it. We'd been trying new things. We'd never tried 69 before now either, I liked it best when I was on top. Jake did too. I'd never considered other positions for going down on each other. I don't know if you could call them "kinky" or not, but some of the things we'd tried were amazing. Jake's favorite was the one we did last night, after he'd gone down on me. He'd stand next to the bed, and I'd lie on it on my back, with my head hanging upside down off the side of it. This allowed him to take advantage of my lack of a gag reflex, and his hands were free to roam all over my body. He said he really enjoyed the view of that position, and I loved the things he did to me...
Laundry Ness, you are doing the laundry! I had to remind myself as I seemed to have stopped folding the clothes in my hand. I was holding a pair of Jacob's boxers, I guess that would be why.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and typed out a text message to Jake.
i love u, im thinking of u *Renesmee*
He should be on his lunch hour right about now. Eating out of the brown bag I'd packed for him last night. Two club sandwiches on wheat bread, a pudding cup (chocolate today), some cheesy Doritos, a bottle of Mountain Dew, and an apple. When I asked him what he wanted for lunch, he never mentioned fruit, but I always put some in there anyway. I wanted him to eat well, which may or may not have been silly since he'd never age as long as he was around us Cullens. Couldn't hurt though. I liked taking care of him. Sometimes I wondered if he bothered to eat it, or just threw it away. I giggled at the thought of him trading it with one of his mechanic buddies for another pudding cup or something, like little kids. I also wondered randomly, if I told him I wanted to make love right now, would he come home? Probably.
love u 2. what about me? -Jacob-
Several things actually, but I went with the one that had made me want to text him in the first place.
last night *Renesmee*
you enjoyed it huh? -Jacob-
in case you are deaf and couldn't hear me, yes *Renesmee*
better make sure his noise machine is on cuz imma get u tonight -Jacob-
i hope u do *Renesmee*
I loved dirty texting. Hmm I wondered what he would do if I sent him a dirty picture of myself. I considered just popping into the downstairs bathroom since Anthony was down for a nap. Maybe one with my shirt off. Or one just of my face, giving him a look. That would be enough for him. Maybe my face and bare shoulders. My phone buzzed.
dont do it! ~*~Alice~*~
Huh?
dont do what? *Renesmee*
you know what ~*~Alice~*~
But why did she care? It started making me paranoid something bad would happen to the pictures, if I decided to take some. Would our phones get hacked or something? Had she seen that? Who the hell would care about dirty pictures of me? It's not like either of us were ever going to run for public office.
you should totally do it, just not right now! c u in 5 ~*~Alice~*~
Oh jeeze, that was why. I calmed myself down and got back to folding. Five minutes later, just like she said, she arrived with my Mom and Aunt Rose. I laughed at myself for thinking, if only for a second, that somebody would ever use a topless shot of me for blackmail purposes. My dear aunt just didn't want me to get busted taking pictures of myself with my shirt off.
"Morning ladies, what are you up to?" I said.
"Put down that towel because it's Mommy makeover day, we are going to the spa!"
"What about the baby though? Jake is at work." My mom raised her hand.
"It's time for a visit to Grandma's house. You didn't think I was going to subject myself to that did you?"
"Certainly not Mother," I teased. Mom wouldn't be caught dead at a spa, even when she was alive.
"So here is the plan, we take Anthony to the cottage, then to Seattle for a day of beauty!" Aunt Alice said bursting with excitement.
"And what does that include?" I asked curiously.
"Pedicure, manicure, hair cut, color, styling, makeup, seaweed wrap" she rattled off. "Bring your swim suit because they have a hot tub!"
"Are you two doing all of that too?" My hair and nails grew, but theirs didn't. And surely any human who spent a lot of time touching my aunts skin would notice something was off about them.
"We are getting our toes and our nails polished, and our hair done," Aunt Rose answered. "We'll probably hang out in the hot tub while you get your other stuff done."
"Oh and we are going shopping first!" Aunt Alice said.
"Of course we are," I laughed.
"Meeeee!" I heard from upstairs.
"Mommy's coming!" I called. I excused myself and bounded up the stairs. "Hi!" I said from the doorway.
"Hi me!" he answered. I picked him up and gave him a good snuggle.
"Did you have a nice nap?"
"Nap!" he was saying new words every day, but I don't think he really knew what most of them meant. Some of them he knew, he knew what love meant. When we told him that we loved him, he would say it back. He'd say "love me", or "love dee". Billy had given him a stuffed wolf the last time he and Grandpa Charlie had come to visit us. So he could say wolf now, he definitely knew what that meant. He slept with "Wolfy" every night, he would cuddle him and say "Love Wolfy" which was cute almost to tear inducing levels. I did cry the first time he said "love me" because I'm a big sap.
As I was changing him on the table I told him, "You are going to go visit Grandma and Grandpa today buddy."
"Bell?" he asked.
"Yup."
"Ed."
"Yes, him too. Aunt Rosalie and Aunt Alice are downstairs, Grandma too."
"Rose? Al?"
"Uh huh."
As I finished up changing him he started to whine and reach his hands up my shirt. "Now now, there's no need to get grabby. I know you are hungry." I dressed him for his visit to the cottage in a thick pair of socks, cute little baby jeans, (who knew they made those!) and a long sleeved t-shirt with picture of a fire truck on it. That was another new word he'd learned, truck. I then took my shirt off and carried him to the rocking chair.
I couldn't believe my body was still able to keep up with his demands. He had his fathers appetite that was for sure. Sometimes it felt like I spent my whole day with him attached to me, but I hardly minded. I loved the bonding, just me and him. Now that he had some teeth, I was thinking about trying some solid foods with him, but not totally weening him yet. Partly for selfish reasons, I would miss it. It was special, I was doing something for him that nobody else could, at least not with their body.
When Anthony'd had his fill I held him as I sorted through my closet for something suitable to wear in public.
"What should I wear Aunt Alice?" I knew she'd hear me.
"Something easy to get in and out of, we'll be changing into robes when we get there."
I picked out a pair of light jeans, and a red scoop neck t shirt, easy enough. Anthony was happy to see everybody when we made our way down the stairs, he clapped his hands and yelled "Hi!" several times.
"Do you guys wanna see him scoot? It's so funny."
"Let's see," Aunt Rose said.
I set him on his tummy when I got to the bottom of the stairs. "Go ahead!" I encouraged him. He looked around and considered his options, then scooted on his tummy over to my mom.
"Yay! What a big boy!" she said picking him up. He grinned at the praise.
"Bell," he said burying his face in her neck. He pressed his hand to her chest and said, "cold." We all laughed.
"Yep, everybody is cold except Mommy and Daddy," I said.
"Do you want him to come shopping with us? I could take him home once you guys are ready to get all prettified or whatever it is you're going to do."
He'd been to the big house and the cottage once each, but never off our property. We hadn't even used the carseat yet.
"Yeah, lets get him out and about. Plus I'll miss him while we are at the spa."
"Aww," Mom said handing him to me.
"Are you guys ready?"
I wrinkled my brow.
"I don't know."
The big house and the cottage had as much baby stuff as we had here, I didn't need to bring anything with me. What should I bring, how long would we be gone?
"Plan for three hours," Aunt Alice said as I opened my mouth ask.
"Okay, let me run upstairs and throw some stuff in the diaper bag."
I bounded up the stairs and set Anthony on his back, in his little baby gym so he'd be entertained. I grabbed the never used diaper bag and thought for a second. Okay what will he need for the next three hours? Milk, check. That one was easy. Did she mean three hours we'll be shopping, or he'll actually be out of the house for three hours? Better plan for four hours. Five just in case, you never know what can happen. I shoved 7 diapers in the bag, small pack of wipes, cream for his tushie. Two binkies, a couple of trucks, a book, two extra outfits, Wolfy...wait. Should I bring Wolfy? If something happened to him Anthony would be beyond heartbroken. I remembered that Caroline, although she didn't know it, actually had two Lambys. I made a mental note to ask Billy where he got Wolfy, and decided to leave him at home.
I came back down the stairs holding Anthony to my chest, his little arms were around my neck. Over my shoulder I had the bulging diaper bag. Aunt Rose snickered. "You guys moving out?"
"Hey, I am just very well prepared."
"And there's nothing wrong with that," Mom said.
"Well there's still more, somebody go get the car seat out of the garage please?"
Mom went to grab it and the rest of us headed outside. When I saw Aunt Alice's screaming yellow porshe in the driveway I turned to her.
"Are you serious?"
"I didn't think we were bringing the baby," she said shrugging.
"I have to drive anyway since I'm leaving to come home with Anthony after shopping." Mom said coming out of the garage. So she ended up running back to the cottage to get Dad's old volvo, her favorite car she said. Anthony and I rode with her, I didn't want him in a porshe. It just didn't say "precious cargo" to me.
"I think I want to learn to drive." I said to my mom from my seat in the back with Anthony once we were on our way.
"That's a good idea, hun."
"Then I could go places when Jakes at work, and we wouldn't have to pay for shipping since I buy stuff online. It would also be nice to be able to do the grocery shopping, even though I don't eat much of it."
"Jake would probably be happy about that. That was so funny the time I saw him there, he looked confused."
My parents went grocery shopping once a week to keep up human appearances. They bought almost all non perishable items, and after a few months, they'd leave a big anonymous donation outside the door to the food bank. The perishable stuff they would give to Billy or Grandpa Charlie. Billy knew the real reason. Grandpa may have, but they would always tell him this and that is about to expire and "we'll never use it".
The fancy dress shop didn't look very baby friendly, too many expensive things. Anthony was very well behaved though so I wasn't worried. He was fascinated by all the people, his little nose was going crazy with all the new scents. As I walked by the racks of dresses he stuck his arm out and let it trail along all the pretty colors. At least his hands were clean, but I still grabbed his little hand and held it.
"Hey Anthony, did you show Grandma how you use your pocket in your jeans?"
He loved pockets for some odd reason. Other peoples pockets, his pockets, and things that were in pockets. He grinned and made sure she was looking at him. He put his hand in his pocket to demonstrate.
"Good job!" she told him.
Score one for Mommy.
We browsed through the racks, picking out several options. I blushed when we got to the lingerie section. Aunt Rose started handing me frilly lacy things and I gave her dagger eyes. I liked lingerie, but my mother is here!
"Ness, you are a married woman, who cares?" Aunt Rose said.
I pleaded at her with my eyes.
"Oh, just go try them on," she said pushing me towards the dressing rooms.
I took Anthony with me and set him up against the wall. He looked bored right away, as if displeasure at being dragged into a woman's dressing room was in his male DNA.
I cracked the door, "Mom could you get a book, or a toy, or whatever you see in the diaper bag, and just throw it under the door?"
"Sure, Ness."
His little police car came sliding under the dressing room door.
"Look, that's what Grandpa Charlie drives!"
"Truck!" he said as I was pulling the first dress over my head.
"Pretty close, it's a police car."
I liked the more flowing dresses. The ones that felt like a tourniquet were not very flattering. No need to accentuate the parts I didn't like, I chose to focus on my T&A, which I still liked plenty.
I opened the door and showed my aunts and my mom the Micheal Kors print dress I'd decided on.
"I'm gonna get this one," I said as Anthony played at my feet.
"One?" Aunt Alice said in disbelief.
"I'm buying, you are getting at least two," she insisted.
"Okay, you twisted my arm."
I decided to get my second favorite in the pile, a white one because that was Jake's favorite color on me. This one was also Micheal Kors. My Aunts were thrilled, Micheal Kors is a judge on their favorite show, Project Runway. They tried to get my mom to watch with them, but she wasn't having it. She'd rather watch the history channel with daddy, and listen to the way he remembered the events of the past. "Were were you when that happened?" She would often ask.
Anthony was starting to get a little fussy.
"What's wrong my angel?" He looked up at me and frowned as he swatted the police car with his hand.
"I'm sorry, Momma is almost done." I quickly wiggled into the first of the lingerie ensembles.
Hmm. I examined myself carefully. A little more tummy showing than I would like, but the panties were super sexy. The bra was really doing it for me, and I knew it would do it for Jacob too. I looked down at Anthony, hoping he was busy with his car, and not paying any attention to me standing here in a "fuck me" outfit as Aunt Rose called them. But the only thing on the floor besides my own two feet was his police car. I whirled around in a circle in the small dressing room as if it were possible for him to be hiding in one of the corners.
Oh no, he must have scooted out right under the door! I flung it open and it clattered noisily, my stomach had dropped like I was on a roller coaster. I ran out into the large room that housed all the dressing rooms. I had to find Anthony. Thoughts of kidnapers and my baby crawling towards the speeding cars on the freeway filled my brain. And all the cars in the parking lot, people who were not paying attention to the space they were pulling into. Could he have gotten outside? Was he fast enough to get past somebody who was opening the door and go through it with them? He was certainly low enough to the ground to get by somebody without being seen. Should I call Grandpa Charlie?
"Anthony?" I called with my voice shaking as I scanned the room.
"Hi me!"
There he was, next to the wide doorway leading out to the sales floor, elbows deep in a potted plant and grinning at me. He hadn't even been ten feet away.
I easily could have collapsed with relief.
"Oh! You need to stay with Momma!" I told him as I picked him up.
I wasn't going to scold him, because he didn't seem to understand.
"Always stay with Momma!" I reminded him. I stood in the doorway and glared at my family. My aunts had dragged my mother to the racks of designer purses.
"So much for super vampire senses!" I whispered low enough that no humans would hear.
"Anthony crawled under the door and was out here playing in a potted plant!" I hissed. I held out my filthy child as evidence.
"Hi Bell!"
They looked at each other guiltily.
"Sorry sweetie," my mom said.
I sighed and ignored the curious stares of strangers, who were undoubtedly wondering about the woman in fuscia lingerie, who was holding a dirty baby in the middle of a dress shop. I stalked back to the dressing room with Anthony and set him down, this time I stood in front of the doorway.
I decided to get this one, and not stay to try on the rest. Once I started driving I could come back and get whatever I wanted. But maybe I'd leave Anthony behind next time. When I opened the door to the dressing room, my mom and my aunts were standing guard in a semi circle around it, still looking guilty.
"I'm not mad, I'm sorry I snapped at your guys. That just scared me so badly! I'm more mad at myself then anything for not even thinking he might do that."
"We didn't think of it either. He's a pretty quick one," Mom said.
"A little too quick," I agreed. I took him in the ladies room and quickly wiped down his arms. "It's a good thing Grandma and Grandpa have bath stuff for you at their house, because you're gonna need one tonight.
We carried our selections up to the front register and set them down on the counter. A few sales girls gathered around behind the counter to "Aww" and "he's so cute!" at Anthony. They were all very well dressed, spotless makeup and done up hair.
"What's his name?" The tall blond who was wearing lots of sparkily jewelry asked me.
"Anthony," I said proudly.
"How old is he?" another girl asked.
"Five months," Aunt Alice answered quickly for me, she must have seen that coming. Nice save because I almost told her the truth, which would not have worked well. I hadn't thought anybody would ask me that.
"You must look just like your Daddy don't you?" The shorter, unnaturally platinum blond asked Anthony.
"Yeah he does, he's got a lot of Quileute in him," I told her.
"Do people ask you if he's adopted? Because my kids are mixed and people ask me that. I'm like, um no. What I really want to say is, what does that matter to you?"
"Wow, people ask you that? Yeah, that is kind of rude. Nobody's said it to me, at least not yet. How old are yours?" I said.
"My oldest is seven, and my younger one..." as she went on I thought to myself, lady, my kid is more mixed then you have any idea about!
Anthony started to get fussy, and pulled my shirt down exposing most of my bra.
"Woah sweetie!" I quickly pulled his hand out of my shirt and yanked it back up, my cheeks flushing. The sales girls giggled, I laughed a little with them.
"Just like his father," I said. "Always hungry!" I quickly clarified, "his Dad's always hungry."
Not always grabbing at my chest! I wanted to say, even though that wasn't completely true. I sighed.
"Can I have the keys to the Volvo? I think it's time to go feed Anthony."
I sat in the backseat with him, and put a blanket over both of our heads. I sang Till There Was You to try and calm him down. He wasn't used to having to wait, and we were in a strange place that was noisy with all the traffic and car doors slamming in the parking lot.
"I'm gonna miss you so much today, but I know you'll have fun with Grandma and Grandpa. They love you so so much."
He gave me a little hug pressing one hand between my breasts and I felt his other arm on my ribs.
"I know my sweet boy, you'll have fun though," I told him giving his legs a little squeeze.
"Maybe Grandma will show you her picture albums." His eyes smiled up at me. He turned his head away and pressed his cheek to me when he was done.
It was time to hand him over to my mom. I reminded myself that if I got upset, he would too. I knew he was in good hands of course, but we'd never been so far apart.
I told my mom to get the breast milk out of my fridge for him. I'd pumped extra latley so he would hopefully have enough there to get him through the day. If not, my parents kept formula for him in their seldom used kitchen. He wasn't a huge fan of it, but he would drink it.
"I know you will, but I just need to tell you anyway, you MUST go the speed limit when he's in the car Mom. Like Grandpa is in the car with you. Just please promise you will, I'll feel so much better."
"I did the whole way here didn't I? I promise," she assured me.
"If he's not calmed down by the time you get home call me,"
"I will."
"And call me if he's gone through all the breast milk and won't drink the formula,"
"I will," she said again.
"And if he asks for W-o-l-f-y you can get it from his room," I trusted her not to lose it.
"Okay."
"And I told him you would show him some picture books, he loves ours," I said my voice breaking.
"Sweetheart, he will be fine."
"I know," I said willing the tears not to spill over. If I was upset, I knew he would be too.
"You are going to have such a fun time with Grandma," I told Anthony.
"She'll show you her picture book! And I bet Grandpa will play some piano for you."
"Nano?"
"Yes, piano! Grandma's gonna go take you to see Grandpa now okay?"
"Ed."
"That's right my special boy. I love you and I will come get you soon okay? I love you."
"Love me." I almost changed my mind and told my mom to take us home. But my aunts had planned a special day for me and I didn't want to be ungrateful. Maybe it was a little early to be thinking this, but I wanted to raise my son to be independent. I knew his mind was probably developing far faster than his body, mine did.
"Kiss for Mommy?" I asked him. He grabbed my face and puckered up, he looked so funny when he did that. I gave him a little peck, on his little lips. "Muah!" I took a deep calming breath. "Okay go with Grandma."
My mom took him from my arms. "Let's go see Grandpa."
I'll be fine, he'll be fine I told myself. Today will be a fun day. Staying home with my two boys, I'd been lacking female companionship lately. Yes, today will be fun.
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All Grown Up: The Story of Jacob and Renesmee