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Courtesan	By : Shelindrea Category: Twilight Series > Het > Jacob/Renesmee Views: 4787 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
JPOV
The evening on a whole had been a roaring success. Nessie worked her magic and charmed the king completely. He continued with his little asides to her all throughout dinner and then praised her profusely. I watched her weave him round her tiny finger and gently coax him to be her champion, even though she had no idea that was what she was doing.
I watched her interact with Alice and felt myself more and more at ease with the arrangements Aro had suggested. Alice had a gentility about her that lend itself to engendering assurance. She seemed wont to take Ness under her wing, and I was certain that my girl would flourish with such amicable guidance.
Jasper, Edward, and I spoke for some time. He swore to me that he and Alice would see to Nessie's education and socialization, and that he would stand watch over her so that no unscrupulous opportunists could take advantage of her naiveté. It calmed Edward and me quite a bit.
"I beg you, be gentle with her. She is the most guileless creature on earth, and she sees no fault in others she cannot fathom in herself," I explained.
"Alice was much the same. The bastard who had owned her treated her like excrement. He badgered and bullied her, and when Alistair and I took her and fled, he had the audacity to petition the king to sanction us and her. Even with all of that, she felt pity for him and begged Aro to spare his life."
"Who is this man?" I asked.
"He is called James Hunter. He is a foul fiend and best pray that he never again crosses my path. It took some time to stem the night terrors Alice suffered after she left him. I would love to give him half the horror he visited upon my angel."
I gasped. I knew that name. "You will have to stand in line behind myself, and perhaps even Edward here. We both owe him a personal debt for his treatment of ourselves and our women," I growled.
Edward cleared his throat. "I fear that none of us will have our revenge upon him, gentlemen. He lies six feet under the earth and God willing now resides in a hell of his own," Edward said quietly.
"At your hand?" Jasper whispered.
"Suffice it to say the deed was done and that is that."
Jasper smiled and shook Edward's hand. The three of us had bonded in our affection for our women, and we made it clear that we were entrusting to him someone incredibly precious to us both. He acknowledged it and that satisfied Edward and I, as much as possible.
In the end, I could not have felt better about those with whom I would entrust Ness. That being said, each moment of reassurance and confidence meant one less moment in her presence. I was certain that the king would grant my petition, having met the incredible creature that was my Renesmee, and in that certainty came the knowledge that I would have to depart from her side and abide without her for some time.
Nessie sang for the assembled company and they praised her generously. She blushed at the compliments, and I beamed with pride. She had no idea how amazing she was, but I did, and I was of the opinion that no praise could ever be sufficient. His majesty thanked her for sharing her gifts with us and bid her return to Carlisle's rooms with Esme and Bella, who had expressed some fatigue.
She looked to me, and I nodded. Then I kissed Esme and Bella on the cheek in parting. "Are you certain this is what you want?" Bella whispered in my ear.
"I am," I whispered in return.
She nodded sadly at me and they departed.
"Come, gentlemen, Alice dear," King Aro directed. "Let us finish the negotiations and ensure that all are clear on their responsibilities."
After approximately an hour, we had reached a compromise I was certain was in Nessie's best interest. She would be allowed letters to and from Bella, on the condition that I was not discussed in any meaningful way. She would begin by staying with Carlisle and Esme and transition to Alice and Jasper's care, as soon as possible. Jasper and Alice agreed to remain at court for a minimum of a few months. Aro was delighted with Ness and wished to become better acquainted with her.
"So that is everything settled then," Alistair said.
"Not quite," Aro sighed. "I need to make it clear that as of this night the child is free. You must depart. I will not have her under undue influence as she becomes whoever she is to be in this new life."
I sank to a chair and held my head in my hands. I felt as if I had been kicked in the gut. Somehow, I had thought there would be more time. I felt like I could not draw breath.
"Your Majesty..." Edward began "…have a heart. They will be separated for nine moons as it is, you cannot leave the man with no parting words."
"Better a clean break. Do you not agree Alistair, Carlisle?" Aro begged for support.
Alistair blinked blindly, clearly feeling out of his element. Carlisle hemmed and hawed. "I am not entirely certain that is wise, Your Majesty. Renesmee knows nothing but the life she now leads. If Jacob were to simply disappear, she is like to feel a great shock."
"Hmm. I had not anticipated that possibility," Aro mused. "However, I still insist that they must be parted. I will have her choices honored and protected."
"Your Majesty," Jasper intervened, "if I may, I believe that you must allow our friend here to bid the lady a proper farewell. Give him this last evening in her company. Allow him to part from her in a way that will minimize her stress and provide her with some level of comfort at the sudden change in her circumstances."
"I am certain that she holds a great deal of affection for both the Cullens and Mr. Black," Alice offered. "She will need to be assured that this is their idea, or I am certain she will be resistant to so colossal an alteration to her situation. This is likely to be frightening enough without making it immediate. Please, Your Majesty, allow this gentleman to do his best to ease her distress and say a proper farewell."
Aro thought and paced for a several moments. "Very well. You have until noon tomorrow. Ease her way as best you can, but under no circumstances are you to divulge the true impetus for your seeking her freedom. I hold you to the conditions I have set, but I give you leave to tell her that her freedom is a result of your petition and that I have granted it upon your request."
I nodded and bowed before him. Thanking him again as I rose. "I cannot thank you enough, Your Majesty. You have given her that which I could not."
"Go now, and make your farewell," Jasper advised. "I have no doubt that parting from her will be most difficult." He shook my hand as we parted, and we nodded to each other in understanding and respect. Alice kissed my cheek and promised to look after Nessie well.
Carlisle and Edward accompanied me back to Carlisle's wing and we all paused at the door. "Do you know how you will tell her?" Carlisle asked.
I swallowed, feeling my eyes itching with tears I would not allow to fall. "I have no idea," I confessed.
"We will be here for you come morning and will not leave your side throughout your ordeal," Edward offered.
"You are most kind. But I need to man up and face this. It is what I wanted; I must be brave and remember that I am doing this for her."
With that, I headed into my rooms.

NPOV
The evening had been magical. I had been so nervous when it began, but Jacob had been right. The king was a charming and friendly. He spoke to me as if I were welcomed and appreciated. When I sang, he had praised my efforts profusely, and I was so pleased to have displayed myself in a way that would garner praise and respect for Jacob.
I also much admired Mistress Alice. She was beautiful and kind. She reminded me, in many ways, of my own Mistress Bella. She asked me many questions and listened intently as if what I had to say actually interested her.
I was waiting for Jacob in his bed chamber humming to myself. I was so pleased with the way the evening had gone I felt like I could fly. When he finally entered the room, I flung myself into his arms like a happy child.
"Well, hello there," he said wrapping me in his arms and carrying me to the bed to sit. "You seem happy, little one. Did you enjoy yourself tonight?"
"Oh I did!" I enthused. "Who would have thought that a king would speak so kindly to me...or that I would meet a lady as kind as Mistress Alice? They seemed pleased by my songs, and I do not think I did anything to bring you disrepute."
He kissed my forehead and held me close. "You were, as always, simply perfect."
"I wanted to make you proud."
He sat beside me on the bed and looked me in the eyes. His onyx orbs bored into me, it almost felt like he could see my very soul. "I am always proud of you. You are the finest person I have ever known, and I only wish to be half the person you have proven yourself to be."
I beamed at his praise. It warmed me even more than the King's. Then as I looked into his handsome face I saw something off. There was an air of sadness about him. I saw it in the line of his mouth and the depths of his eyes.
"Is all well, Jacob?"

JPOV
Her question gave me pause. Was all well? I was about to walk away from the only person I could imagine spending my life with. I was going to send her out into a world she was unaccustomed to and pray for the best. I was about to break my own heart. Was all well? No, everything was not well. I was dying; I was sure of it. But I could not burden her with my pain. I wanted her to feel nothing, but safety and calm, at least for this last evening together. I hoped she would associate that feeling with being in my presence, and that it would keep me present in her mind.
"Yes, Angel. All is well," I said kissing her soundly. It was the last thing I would take from her though. From this moment on, she was free and had a choice. I would not take another thing from her without her consent. "Ness, tonight will be different between us."
She cocked her head at me. "Different how?"
"You know how I always tell you we are just us here? No slave. No master. Just Jacob and Ness?"
She nodded, but I could see the confusion etched across her brow.
"Tonight it is even truer."
"Alright..." she said.
"If I told you I wanted you, what would be your response?"
"That I am yours," she intoned the standard response, and I sighed.
"No, Ness. You are your own. From this moment on, I have no claim upon you other than that I am a man who finds you desirable."
She looked at me deeply and her face softened. "And I am a woman who sees in you all that she could ever want," she said leaning in and kissing me sweetly. Her words were my undoing. If only it could be true when all was said and done.
I could not deny myself this last chance to know her, to touch, express my love for her physically. I pulled her into my arms and cradled her there kissing her as if I were a drowning man and she the air I desperately needed. But as desperately as I wanted her, I wanted more to savor this moment and to truly make love to her. This could not be a frantic tumble if it was to be all I had before I left her. I needed a slow and steady burn.
My hands went to the tied back of the gown she wore. "May I?" Tonight I would seek approval for each touch, each taste. Tonight would show her just how much I loved her. If I could not speak the words I would demonstrate them in everything I did.
"Please," she said continuing to kiss my jaw and neck.
I loosened the gown and slipped it from her creamy shoulders. I kissed her neck and collar bones, sweeping my tongue across her skin to take in her incredible sweetness. She sighed and arched into me. "Tell me what you want, Love. Tell me and it shall be yours, I swear."
"I want your mouth on me," she said desperately, sliding the gown down her arms and exposing her perfect breasts.
I cupped each and felt its weight in my palms. Her breasts were high and exquisitely formed. I grazed my thumbs across her nipples and watched them pucker and peak. They practically begged to be suckled. I drew the first peak into my mouth and drew deeply upon it. She made a sound from deep within that spoke to my throbbing manhood. It was an almost feral sound and cried out in need, want, and desire. I laved her pursed bud until she wound her fingers through my hair and arched into me drawing me even tighter to her soft flesh, then I turned and repeated the same attention to the other as I had to the first. I wanted to mark her with my touch, I wanted memories of me on every inch of her delicious form. When I had her panting and writhing in my arms I lifted my head and looked at her angelic face. Her eyes were half mast and her cheeks were flushed. She looked edible.
"You are so indescribably beautiful," I said kissing her mouth again. "I want to see all of you," I confessed. "May I?" again I asked. I would gain acceptance for every favor and every accommodation. She nodded as she stood, and I watched the satin of her gown pool at her feet. There she stood in all her glory and I looked my fill, burning the memory in my mind.
She turned her shoulders coquettishly and said, "Now that you have seen all of me, will you not allow me the same pleasure?"
My mouth went dry at her boldness. It was intoxicating, this brazen desire. I shed my clothes and stood before her with my need for her front and center. Her eyes locked upon my manhood, and she smiled at me. She reached out to me, and I met her palm with my own. Our fingers entwined, and I turned her so that she could sit upon the bed. "May I pleasure you?" I asked as I sank to my knees before her. I looked up toward her eyes and saw that they were wide and dilated. She bit her lower lip as if my asking had caused her pause.
"No," she said in a little voice.
I stilled before her. I would do nothing without her consent, although I must admit I had not expected her refusal. She leaned toward me and took my face in her hands. She was staring into my eyes with an intensity she had not displayed before, and I was mesmerized. "What is it you want, Ness?"
"I want you to come and lie with me. I want us to pleasure each other. Jacob and Ness, as equals," she said pulling me up beside her.
"I most willingly comply, my lady," I vowed sliding myself between her thighs and seating myself deep within her welcoming sheath.
I held myself there and looked deeply into her dark orbs. I willed her to feel what I felt for her. I kissed her, sweetly, allowing her to set the pace. She held my gaze, and I was in thrall. I wanted her to understand what this meant to me, but I could not. Aro's edict stymied me. Yet, I had a need for her to feel the immediacy of this moment and to cherish it as I was cherishing it.
"Ness, I have a request of you. It is important to me, and I need you to think about it before we continue."
She nodded, touching my face. I did not know what she saw in it, but it was clear it gave her pause.
"Tonight, imagine that this is our last moment together. Do not close your eyes, look at me, share every moment, every touch with me. Will you do that?"
Her eyes grew wide and round. I had asked her to look at me before while we were together, but never throughout the entirety. I wanted to communicate my feelings for her with my eyes, as well as my touch. A serene smile touched her lips and she pulled my lips to her own. Just before they met she answered, "I will gladly share this night with you, my Jacob. I want only to be in your arms for all eternity, and if tonight is all we have..." she paused, a crease marring the space between her brows, "I wish to remember every instant." There was a catch in her voice and for a moment, I thought she might understand the significance of this night, but before I could contemplate her full meaning she began to move beneath me, and I was awash in the feeling of her surrounding me.

NPOV
"Tonight, imagine that this is our last moment together. Do not close your eyes, look at me, share every moment, every touch with me. Will you do that?"
At first I thought this was a new game he wished to play. Jacob was ever playful and daring in our coupling, but as I studied his handsome features I saw something else. Was he trying to tell me that our time was coming to an end? Was I about to wake from this dream life I had been living?
I felt a burning in my throat at the very thought. "I will gladly share this night with you, my Jacob. I want only to be in your arms for all eternity, and if tonight is all we have..." I heard my voice catch, but tried to push past it, "I wish to remember every instant."
With that, I began to move beneath him, drawing him deeper and swirling my hips against him. He groaned in pleasure and began to move with me. He kissed me tenderly and never took his gaze from my own. His thrusts were long and slow, causing a delicious friction that made my nerves tremble and my need increase. I clung to him, wanting him to possess me completely.
His hands cupped my shoulders holding me tightly to him. I wrapped my arms around him and cleaved to the curve of his back. His muscles bunched and relaxed beneath my fingers and I massaged them over and over as my frenzy increased. The only sounds were our ragged breathing and our fevered moans. Jacob had always been a vocal lover, speaking endearments or asking questions as we coupled, but tonight the only thing speaking was his gaze which never left my own. I saw within their depths desperation, need, and I was almost certain, regret.
We were both trying to prolong this; I knew it and I fought the coiling spring within me which warned of my impending release. I could tell he was also holding himself back, and suddenly I wanted him to give me all he had, if this was to be an ending then I must have his complete self. I grasped his backside and pulled him even deeper, tilting my hips to welcome him completely, and in an instant we both toppled over the peak of our desire. He kissed me fiercely and rolled us over so that we were side by side, still looking into each other's eyes.
"Ness..." he began, his eyes misted as if he were fighting deep emotions. Then he licked his lips and held me close. "If this were the last time we were to be like this..." I watched him swallow hard “…what would you say in parting?"
My mind raced. He was trying to tell me this was an ending. I did not know how I knew, but I was certain of it, and I was dying inside. I had no right to tell him what I wanted to, and it would make no difference anyway. I was a slave. He was free. My love for him was irrelevant, and I knew it.
"What could I say..." I said biting my lips and turning my gaze for the first time this evening.
"Pretend you are free. That it is just us, Jacob and Renesmee, and that circumstances dictated that we part," he said turning my face back to his.
"It is irrelevant," I stated sitting up and turning away again. I needed to blink to stem the tears that were threatening to fall.
"Not to me," he stated emphatically.
"Why are you leaving in this scenario?" I asked, pretending to play along with the game.
"So that we both have a chance at the lives we deserve."
So he did want to wed. It was the only explanation. "Then I...I do not wish to play this game, Jacob." I said wrapping my arms around my knees.
"Nor do I, but I still ask...were there no strictures on you...were you free. How would you bid me farewell?"
That word was the last straw. His voice had broken as he spoke it, and I heard it for the final death knell. I broke, and my mouth let loose before my mind could prevent it.
"Were I free, I would not let you say it. I would use every feminine while at my disposal to knit your very soul to my own. I would make it impossible for you to leave me without leaving the best part of you behind. I would ensure that you never felt free of me, that I haunted your every thought and caused a pain so acute that your only relief would be to return to me. Were I free..." I said big aqueous tears fell from my cheeks and splashed upon my arms. "But I am not free. I am merely a slave, and thus even if I could do all that, we both know it would have no effect."
I wiped my eyes and turned to face him again. "Thus, I will say that my life with you has been a lovely dream, from which I always assumed I would awaken. I will tell you that all I ever wish for you is happiness, and..."
"And?"
"I am sorry."

JPOV
After making love to her for the first time, and yes, I knew that this time was different from a mere coupling, I knew that my time was growing short. I could not tell her a lie. I simply could not. So I again tried to say things without saying them.
"Ness..." I began, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. Then I licked my suddenly dry lips and held her close. "If this were the last time we were to be like this..." God this was painful. "What would you say in parting?"
It was a cowardly thing to ask. I could not bring myself to bid her farewell, yet I was asking her to do so, and she did not even know that it was happening now, not for certain.
"What could I say..." she said biting her lip and turning her gaze for the first time this evening.
"Pretend you are free. That it is just us, Jacob and Renesmee, and that circumstances dictated that we part," I said turning her face back to mine. I saw the pain in the depths of her dark eyes. I felt the fissure in my heart begin to tear wide and I hated myself, but I felt we needed to speak what was allowed us.
"It is irrelevant," she stated sitting up and turning away again.
"Not to me," I stated emphatically. I needed some hope, something to hold on to and I hoped that somehow I could impart the same to her, though I had no idea how.
"Why are you leaving in this scenario?" she asked, pretending to play along with the game.
My heart clenched. Aro was clear, I must not confess my reasons, yet I had sworn an oath to her that there would never be anything but truth between us in this setting. "So that we both have a chance at the lives we deserve." It was the absolute truth, but I had no idea what she would make of the statement.
She was silent for a moment, it was unnerving. "Then I..." she stuttered out and stiffened. "I do not wish to play this game, Jacob."
"Nor do I," I confessed, but I needed her to know I was asking her as a woman, not as my slave, "but I still ask...were there no strictures on you...were you free. How would you bid me farewell?" My voice broke with the last word. I could not bring myself to say it outright and I felt a right coward.
Then it was if the damn broke. She turned on me, her eyes blazing and spoke so passionately that were I not in love with her already I would have fallen completely in that instant. "Were I free, I would not let you say it. I would use every feminine while at my disposal to knit your very soul to my own. I would make it impossible for you to leave me without leaving the best part of you behind. I would ensure that you never felt free of me, that I haunted your every thought and caused a pain so acute that your only relief would be to return to me. Were I free..." she said as huge wet tears fell from her cheeks and splashed upon her arms. "But I am not free. I am merely a slave, and thus even if I could do all that, we both know it would have no effect. Thus I will say that my life with you has been a lovely dream, from which I always assumed I would awaken. I will tell you that all I ever wish for you is happiness, and..."
"And?" I said barely able to breathe. Would she say it? Did she love me?
"I am sorry."
I must have misheard. "Sorry? No, Ness, you have nothing at all to be sorry for. In fact, I banish all sorrow from this moment. Tonight is about the joy we feel in each other's company. It is a time to make memories that can last us. I do not wish to see you in distress, and I am willing to anything to see it end. The rest of the world is banished from this moment. It is ours, and in it only we exist."
She raised her eyes back to mine, and I saw her smile. It was not a happy smile, yet, but I could see her release some of her tension. I climbed behind her and began to massage her shoulders, leaning into the shell of her ear and whispering, "I have a new game, for you my sweet." She began to relax under my ministrations. "We are in the palace, no?" She nodded slowly. "Let me worship you, my princess."
I began to kiss and suck her neck in long deep strokes. She leaned back against me, and I felt the residual tension drain from her body as she gave herself over to my touch. "If I am a princess, does that make you my King?" she asked.
"No..." I thought a moment and decided on my role in this. "I am your humble servant. I live to serve you. My entire purpose is to make you aware of how beautiful and adored you are."
"Oh, Jacob," she sighed as my hands smoothed around her skin. One cupped her breast and the other slid between her thighs. My fingers danced across her moist flesh, and she opened to me like a flower. I used her breathing to gauge her pleasure and did everything in my power to prolong it and eek out more and more.
"Or perhaps I am your high priest," I said increasing my rhythm against her slick folds and feeling her hips rise and fall against my hand, "sent to help you achieve Nirvana."
"Oh, God!" she groaned moving even more against me, her movements made her ripe buttocks rub against my straining erection. It was exquisite torture, but I knew that I would spill myself on her back if I did not find myself buried within her soon.
"Ness, I need to be inside you," I gasped breathily. “Please..."
In an instant, she had lifted herself off the bed and slid back to take me within her blazing sheath. I groaned louder than was seemly, and she reached back to encircle my waist with her hands. I let her set the pace, and it was slow and sensual. My own hands had not left her bundle and continued to stroke her as she ground herself against me. I felt the satin of her skin, slick with perspiration, slick against my chest and thighs and it flooded me with sensual energy.
Neither of us was ready for this to end, yet I was certain I was not alone in my knowledge that this was our last time together for some time. I imprinted in my mind every sound that escaped her lips, every sensation I felt. I knew I would need to relive these moments in order to maintain my sanity, and I wanted to prolong them for eternity. Still, even the most experienced lovers find themselves quickening in each other’s embrace, and we both climaxed and found a release so strong we both cried out to the night.
Our breaths were ragged and our limbs liquid. I slid us down the bed and settled Nessie against my chest, kisssing her forehead, her temples, her eyelids. "Goodnight, Princess."
"Mm mm..." she mumbled as she drifted into peaceful slumber.
I held her as long as I dared, my mind racing. I castigated myself for my inherent cowardice. I could not bring myself to mar this night together with talk of parting in any serious way. Still, I knew that the situation must be explained to her, and that it was my responsibility to do so. After several hours, I slipped from her embrace and found myself putting quill to parchment. I composed a letter that I thought would explain her situation without confessing my entire role in her elevation.
When the letter was composed, I sealed it and dressed. I meant to leave her, at this point, but I betrayed myself and turned back to the sweet angel in the bed. Her hair was splayed about her head like a fiery halo. Her hair, the glory that always caught the light and made me think of warmth, sunshine, and infernos. I reached out a finger to wind a curl about it. It was so soft and so wild. Before I knew what I was doing, I had cut a lock from behind her ear and taken it to the desk. I lifted it to my nose and breathed in the aroma of vanilla and roses that was Nessie's essence. I spied a ribbon on the floor; it had held the sleeve of her gown. I lifted it and tied it around the lock of hair. I place it in my pocket and departed the room.
Aro had given me until noon to depart, but I could not draw this out any longer. I wandered down the corridor and found myself knocking on Bella and Edward's door.
Edward answered after a few moments. He was tying a robe at his waist, but he looked as if sleep had evaded him as it had me. "You are leaving aren't you?"
"Yes, I cannot take a declaration of farewell. I will depart at dawn, but I wanted to thank you both before I left."
"Come in," he said leading me to the sitting room of the apartment. Bella was there seated near the fire looking sad and wan.
She reached out a hand to me, and I took it sitting before her. "I knew you would come," she confided.
"I want you to give this to Ness in the morning," I related to her handing her the scroll. "If she asks... When she asks...tell her that I wanted her to have a life I could not provide her as a jewel on my chain."
"You will be waiting at home for us?"
I nodded, feeling the sting of tears again prick my eyes. "When will you follow?"
"In three days time. I want to be assured that she is alright before we part."
"Thank you," I said leaning into her embrace.
"I love her too, you know," she confessed. "I am so proud of you."
I pulled myself from her arms and tried to school my face in detachment. "Make her see that this is for the best," I pleaded.
"We shall not go until we are assured that she is well and safe, I swear," Edward vowed. He clapped me on the back in a manly hug, and I departed.
I mounted Rabbit and headed out into the dawn. I was miles from the capitol when I realized that I was weeping in the saddle. Each step Rabbit took made my heart ache for her a little more. I did not know how I would survive this, but I would ensure her this life, even if it killed me
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Courtesan